( ´ω`) hello kids!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

( ´ω`) well, junior, there were these creatures that we used to call "girls"

( ´ω`) they're all extinct now

Ｊ(・∀・)し

Ｊ(・∀・)し You too, gramps!

Ｊ( ´ω`)し ...

(・∀・) Grandpa, we're reading "The Outsiders" in school and how teeangers were in, like, the olden days. Were you a preppy Soc, or one of the cool Greaser kids?

J( 'ｰ`)し　Hey boys, have you seen...

J( 'ロ`)し　

Ｊ( ´ω`)し ...

Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, I'm hard!

Ｊ( ´ω`)し Hard gay?

. welcome.
.
.( ´ω`) I am Ballos.

( *ω`) Ages upon ages ago, in fear of enduring punishment, I allowed my funny to run wild.

( *ω`) The funny became such that even its master's hands could not control it.

Ｊ(・∀・)し That's great, Grandpa, now help me pick out a dress. Do I need a bra?

( *ω`) If you wanna hold up those saggy tits of yours into some kind of presentable package, I'd fucking recommend it! You better believe it!

Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, what happened to your eye? It went from ´ to *!

Ｊ(・∀・)し Hey Mom! Does this dress look good on me?

J( 'ロ`)し ......

( *ω`) Go play Cave Story.

Ｊ(・∀・)し That game's kind of hard, though...

Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, I came into my smooth, soft, silky dress! What should I do now?

( *ω`) You put the dress in the washer, or you get the hose again!

Ｊ(・∀・)し But washing machines are dangerous! I read about one guy who felt into one and got killed.

( *ω`) That's because no real man does laundry and nature was weeding out inferior males.

( *ω`) I really need to do something about this sty in my eye.

Ｊ(*∀・)し Is it contagious? Oh wai...

( ω) ...Damn kid.

Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, it's high time you see an eye doctor, ya know! Your condition is getting worse by the hour!

( ω) Dagnabbit, Junior, don't you dare try and tell me what to do!

( ω) Now show me where you are so I can bitchslap you.

Ｊ(・∀・)し Here, I'm here by the cupboard! Hey I just found your stash of Playboy from 1960-1970... Vintage! Will I get a good buck if I sell those on eBay?

( ω) If you actually looked it up, maybe you'd know.

Ｊ(・∀・)し Oh! Why didn't think of that?
Ｊ(・∀・)し ...
Ｊ(・∀・)し Currently fetching $.17 per vintage issue in mint condition? Only??
Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, I thought that sex was selling?

( ω) Well, I did have my way with the issue if you'd check the centerfold..So I'd say $.5 at the most.

Ｊ(・∀・)し I wanted to check the centerfold, but for some reason the pages are stuck together... Why is that, Grandpa?

( ω) Because I touch myself at night

Ｊ(・∀・)し Touch yourself? Like..where?

( ω) I'd show you, but I'm not really sure myself right now.

Ｊ(・∀・)し Grandpa, they say that if you touch yourself too much you'll go blind, is that true?

( +ω+) In your case, I will go blind.

　 _ 　∩
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ)彡　Grandpa old fart!　Grandpa old fart!
　⊂彡

／　 ﾟДﾟ ＼ Shhh.

( (●)ω(●)) Hey Junior, DQN let me borrow his eyes. Man, I can see everything with this.

Σ( ﾟДﾟ)

( (●)ω(●)) I can see past, present, and future. I can see multiple areas at once. I can see everything.
Σ( ﾟДﾟ)
( (●)ω(●)) Even your soul.
Σ( ﾟДﾟ;)
( (●)ω(●)) Especially your soul.
Σ( ﾟДﾟ;;) Aiee!

(・∀・) Wait... My soul? I guess I don't k now if I have one.

(・∀・) Okay, let's do a simple test before I believe you, Grandpa: what are the winning numbers for the upcoming Lotto? When and where?

( (●)ω(●)) You're composed of pixels on a computer screen, Junior. Pixels don't have souls. Except for me, of course.

( (●)ω(●)) The winning numbers for the Alpha Centuri Daily Jackpot are:

Quarble Graphag QuintaPeta Graphag Peta. The super bonus is "Joggl".

　　　　　　　　　　　　l
　　　　　　ヽ. 　 　 ＿|＿　　　　ハ＿ハ
　 　　　　　　＼／　　　　 ＼〆l 　 o　o l/⌒)
　　　　　　　　/　　　　o　 　 ｀、、 　ワ ﾉ ／
　　　　／ｌ＿ハ　　　　 、　 o　ｌ　 ー‐ ´/
　　　/o　 o　　l　　　　| ゝ 　 ├─　　/
　(⌒ヽ ワ　　i⌒i　　　ﾚ' 　　/　　　　/
　 ヽ.　｀ー― l　 ﾄ､_　　＿／ﾉ＼ ,´ /
　 　 ﾞ､　　　　　/ 　 ￣| 　　(__ノ､_ノ
　 　　ﾞi 　 　 　 ｌ　 　 　l
.　 　 　l 　 ､　　l
　　　　 l　 l l　　l
　　 　　｀"´ ｀"´

         Alpha Centuri Daily Jackpot

-= Where everyone wins, even if it's just a few dollars =-

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　 ∧＿∧ 　( (●)ω(●))　Grandpa, I wonder the lottery!
　　　　(・∀・)　　/　　 ⌒i I bought us this new laptop.
　　 ／　　　＼　 　　　|　| Who knows what crazy adventures this'll lead us on?!
　　/　　 　/￣￣￣￣/　| Learning is an adventure!
＿_(__ﾆつ/　DELL　 / .| .|＿＿＿＿
　　　 ＼/＿＿＿＿/　（u　⊃

. . .

/dqn/

. . .
　　　　　　　　 　 ∧＿∧
　　　 ∧＿∧ 　（´<_｀ 　）　Hey, wtf, are these guys trying to steal our bit?
　　　（　´_ゝ`）　/　　 ⌒i
　　 ／　　　＼　 　　　|　|
　　/　　 　/￣￣￣￣/　|
＿_(__ﾆつ/　DELL　 / .| .|＿＿＿＿
　　　 ＼/＿＿＿＿/　（u　⊃

>>44
・ < Hey, I resent that remark, you insensitive clod! I'm a pixel and I believe I have a soul!

　　　　 ∧＿∧
　　　／　 ・∀・ ＼　＜ Delicious pixel... must eat...
　　 （　　　　　　　）
　　　＼　　　　 ／
　　　　（＿_）＿）

(・∀ ) >>49 Hey, come back here!

・ < Pixel persecution! Pixel persecution!

        Pixel what? I dont get it.
          /

　　　　　　　　 　 ∧＿∧
　　　 ∧＿∧ 　（´<_｀ 　）　- Open the Needler Hall thread already!
　　　（　´_ゝ`）　/　　 ⌒i
　　 ／　　　＼　 　　　|　|
　　/　　 　/￣￣￣￣/　|
＿_(__ﾆつ/　DELL　 / .| .|＿＿＿＿
　　　 ＼/＿＿＿＿/　（u　⊃

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　 ∧＿∧ 　( (●)ω(●))　Grandpa, aren't those Sasuga brothers just crazy?
　　　　(・∀・)　　/　　 ⌒i Now let's go check out what eBaum has for us today!
　　 ／　　　＼　 　　　|　|
　　/　　 　/￣￣￣￣/　|
＿_(__ﾆつ/　DELL　 / .| .|＿＿＿＿
　　　 ＼/＿＿＿＿/　（u　⊃

　　　　　　　∧_∧
　　∧__∧ （・∀・）
　 （ ´ω`）/　　⌒i
＿(__つ/￣￣￣/i |＿
　　＼/＿＿＿/ ヽ⊃
Respect your elders! I'm the one sitting here.

　　　　　　　∧_∧
　　∧__∧ （・∀・） ・・・
　 （ ´ω`）/　　⌒i
＿(__つ/￣￣￣/i |＿
　　＼/＿＿＿/ ヽ⊃
What with this computer? It doesn't obey me!

Bastard blowfish encrypted my porn.

         /

　　　　　 　　 　 ∧＿∧
　　　 ∧＿∧ 　（´ω` 　） -Thats low..
　　　（　´ω`）　/　　 ⌒i
　　 ／　　　＼　 　　　|　| I you want the pass, get me
　　/　　 　/￣￣￣￣/　| ∧_∧ / 100mbit!!!!!lol
＿_(__ﾆつ/　 ´ω`　 / .| .|＿＿＿＿（・∀・）_________
　　　 ＼/＿＿＿＿/　（u　⊃ ^^ ^^

(・∀・) Grandpa, how did you get your eyes back?

( (●)ω(●)) These eyes change shape from time to time. I don't really know why.

(´ﾄｪｪｪｲ`) Durrrrrrrr

● < I'm >>52's mother, I'm really sorry. I would like to apologize for my son's misconduct, please forgive him.

(・∀・) That's OK. I'll forgive you if you go out on a date with me!