NTT MESSENGING SERVICE
NOW PLAYING ALL MESSAGES
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Hey DQN, it's me, the Fail. Yeah, I'm just hanging out, startin shitty threads, you know, the usual.
If ya wanna talk, you can just check the front page. I'm usually hangin out there.
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Hello, this is NTT MESSENGING SERVICE and we will be cutting you off today. You haven't paid any of the bills in days. Thank you for using our service. お休み GOODBYE!
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Hello, this is NTT again and thank you for your payment. Your account has been upgraded to 1K GET Members Only account. Enjoy Your new messenger service! HOLLA BACK!
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Shadow's been stalking me. The last time I saw him, he was dressed in drag! What the fuck?!
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Hello, this is Duke. I heard your line was tapped so i will speak in code.
33 2 8 7777 44 444 8 2 66 3 3 444 33
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Your answering machine produces two beeps between each message. Have you ever wondered what mysteries lies between them? Well, don't. If you entertain the question for more than 33 seconds, then the next night, at 3:33:33, you will die.
You know what's coming next...
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Great. Shadow's threatening to assrape me. Help.
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Hi, this is John from Morgan Mittens International. We've received an order for one million sets of mittens by someone using the name "security kitten." Can you please call us back to follow up on this? Our number's 1-800-MITTENS.
Thank you for your interest.
CLICK
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OH GOD SHADOW'S FUCKING ASSRAPING ME HALP! AHHN AHHHHN!
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Squeeks, I'm afraid we will have remove the "Emergency Mittens" button, as we cannot continue supplying it with more mittens. People are selfishly using this button for their own personal gain, and we can no longer afford to continue this service.
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ehhrg. ohh...
Fuck you Squeeks, now hes thinking of marrying me. t t
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Hey, are you coming into work today?
You haven't been in for a week..
I miss you...
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Wake up Neo.
Neo?
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Hi this message is for your administrator.
Your shipment of 1000 bamboo sticks has just arrived, we'll be holding them until Monday, if you want to pick them up just come by at the usual time, ok thanks.
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This is a collect call from
(long pause...)
KANEDDAAA!!
If you would like to accept this call, please press 1...
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TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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beep beep beep beep tooootooo tweet
hehe
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Go to hell
BEEP----------> PONG
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what the fuck do you think you're doing not wearing a condom
you're going to get her pregnant i swBEEP
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just testing, don't mind me
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Snake? Snake?
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--Beep
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Squeeks, I left the emergency mittens on all night on accident and they're everywhere now. Give me a call, I know you know how to fix this.
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free cool ringtones!
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Hi, this is day care and we still have your kids here.
Its been two days.
We are calling child services.
LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS BITCH
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I don't think I can make it. I'm dying you have to save
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get a bigger Pen 15 2Day!
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AMERICA
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RUCKY CHANNERU!!!!
OAHARAYAKI ^^^!!!!
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YOU SUX! (has a children laugh at background)
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Hi, it's your neighbor, Mr. Wallington.
Would you please put curtains on your window because we see you naked in your living room every morning and it's disturbing.
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(in all seriousness) We may need you to play twing-twang.
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Oh god! We didn't think it was possible for something of this magnitude to be achieved! I... Wait, what is it doing? It's coming straight for us! Squeeks! Sqqueee-
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Hello? Oh, the noise? I was just... uh... playing Doom 4.
Does your brain taste good?
I mean, well, you know what I mean! Just jokes and all!
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YEAH!
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Lucky prize is waiting you. Call 00 33 1 78 56 95 60 to us give prize you !
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I know you're there. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
...
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Hi grandma it's (*゚ー゚), just calling to see how you're doing. Did you still want me to come over saturday and help you spread mulch? Call me back when you get a chance, love you!
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--AYDAY MAYDAY WE ARE GOING DOWN OH GOD TELL MY WAIFU I LOVE H--
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