Clonepa or Superman?
Air cooled VW because VW makes to much plastic junk that breaks eaily in their cooling systems.
Beijing versus Los Angeles
Beijing probably has even more smog than LA. LA attacks, then suffocates.
Steve Albini vs Mark E Smith
At first I was going to say that Mark E. Smith is older and therefore wiser, but personally I like how Steve Albini looks on the photo on wikipedia encyclopaedia.
So I declare Steve Albini to be WINNER !
Ibaraki vs. Saitama!
Dunkin Donuts has never given me a free donut when I walked in. Krispy Kreme has. Therefore, Krispy Kreme wins.
Magikarp vs Metapod
Magikarp! karp! karp!
Steam vs. Playonline
This fight basically comes down to who is more tenacious: PC gamers or Final Fantasy kids? I'm going with the FF kids, so Playonline wins.
Old Eddie Murphy movies vs. Relatively new episodes of Pokemon
( ´ω`) In the hands of a decent operator, abacus excels at the basic four functions, hands-down; it has everything to do with input speed, which the numeric pad is not so hot at. When it comes to more complex calculations, however, the calculator wins. It is a toss-up all depending on what calculations you need done, and where those calculations should be stored.
( ´ω`) Nothing beats the slide rule for mathematician/engineer/geek cred, though.
Clonepa vs Darkpa
As established in >>2, you can not fight only one Clonepa.
Ergo, the winner is Clonepa.
Marvel vs. Capcom
SNK.
Powerthirst vs. your mother
Whichever wins, it is then beaten by any number of software that will turn several images taken with your standard camera into one single panoramic image.
John Conner VS John McClane VS John Rambo VS John Matrix VS John Spartan VS John Constantine VS John Kimble
Assuming that all combatants are fighting at the same time, the eventual winner will have to possess strength, stamina, intelligence and previous battle experience. John looks to be the favourite on paper due to his obvious proficiency in firearms, but this is a trait shared also by John, John, John and John (this is of course assuming that there are weapons available at all). In unarmed combat, John would have the slight edge over the others thanks to his powerful build, but depending on the arena's environment the same build could put him at a disadvantage as far as maneuverability is concerned. John, John and to a certain extent John all possess what can only be referred to as 'plothax', therefore being able to survive what could very well defeat a lesser man, but it is important not to place too much significance on said ability. As far as stamina is concerned John probably has the edge, but I could easily see John, John, John and even John given him a good run for his money, so this is not enough to triumph in this battle. I suppose what this really comes down to, however, is the fighters ability to please the crowd; what's the use in winning a fight if the audience calls for your blood instead of your foes? Of course, John is the clear winner in the respect, even John would have to admit that his charisma far surpasses anyone else fighting here, and when coupled with his smarts, his combat strength and his pure resiliency it is clear who the survivor of this battle royale would be; John by a mile.
A Western comic book nerd VS a Japanese otaku
Vladimir Putin, being ex-KGB, can kill a man with a cold stare.
The fight begins with a bow and then ... Junichiro Koizumi does the only honorable thing and cuts his own belly open with a katana to avoid the shame of defeat.
Richard Nixon VS Lester B Pearson
There ain't a diplomat dead or alive who's ass Nixon can't kick.
Mazinger Z vs. The Iron Giant
Ｕｎｌｅｓｓ Ｍａｚｉｎｇｅｒ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｓｕｃｃｅｓｓｆｕｌｌｙ ｕｔｉｌｉｚｅ ａ Ｋｏｕｓｈｉｒｙｏｋｕ Ｂｅａｍ ｏｒ Ｐｏｃｋｅｔ Ｐｕｎｃｈ ｅａｒｌｙ ｏｎ ｔｈｉｓ ｗｉｌｌ ｑｕｉｃｋｌｙ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ａ ｂａｔｔｌｅ ｏｆ ａｔｔｒｉｔｉｏｎ， ａｎｄ ｇｉｖｅｎ ｔｈａｔ Ｍａｚｉｎｇｅｒ Ｚｓ ｈｕｍａｎ ｐｉｌｏｔ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｎｅｅｄ ｓｕｓｔａｎａｎｃｅ ｔｈａｔ ＴＨｅ Ｉｒｏｎ Ｇｉａｎｔ ｏｂｖｉｏｕｓｌｙ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｎｏｔ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｃｌｅａｒ ｗｈｏ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｅｍｅｒｇｅ ｖｉｃｔｏｒｉｏｕｓ．
Ａｆｉｋａ Ｂａｍｂａａｔａａ ＶＳ ＤＪ Ｓｈａｒｐｎｅｌ
The nigga cuz them thugs and shit so they can beat up them azn who watch cartoons all day.
Racism or xenophobia?
Xenophobia because it hurts those who immigrate illegally.
2girls1cup or swap.avi?
swap.avi because they'll last longer.
Phoenix Wright vs. Battler (Umineko no Naku Koro ni)
Phoenix Wright paralyzes the enemy in fear when he shouts OBJECTION!
Duct tape or electrical tape?
Duct tape. Come on, it's duct tape. It can do anything.
Carpeting or hard floors?
hard floors because when something gets spilled on carpet it is hard to remove.
Top Gun or After Burner
After Burner because Top Gun is gay.
TRIPLE THREAT
Cilla Black vs Sandie Shaw vs Lulu
Sandie Shaw because if the other two try to form an alliance, the name Sandie Shaw would take more time to discuss.
VW R32 or Subaru WRX?
As I could not find crash test ratings for either vehicle, I will have to give the victory in a head-on collision to the VW R32. Reason being it has only two doors and a higher curb weight. But I'm also biased against hood scoops. Safety of human drivers not guaranteed.
Gangster Planet VS Nazi Planet
Nazi Planet, the gangster planet would be too rife with infighting to be able to carry on a decent fight.
An ant that looks like a spider vs a spider that looks like an ant.
A spider that looks like an ant, because it can still shot webs at the imposter spider-ant.
The Mothership from the movie Independence Day or a Titan from Eve online.
The Titan is immune to all kinds of electronic warfare, while the mothership was taken down with a MacBook and a nuke. The Titan wins, easily.
Darth Vader vs. Brock Samson
At first, I gathered this a simple victory for Darth Vader. But then I considered the essential rule of 'Good Guys Win' and that Darth Vader is at heart a scared little child. But then it became clear that this Brock Samson is just a good guy, not the good guy, more of a sidekick. In the end Brock Samson, like Obi-Wan Kenobi before him, sacrifices himself as the means to completion of some other goal. Most likely to protect the good guy.
Dr. Phil VS Judge Judy
Dr. Phil, he'd put Judge Judy in a hole in his back yard with the other judges that tried to convict him.
Arizona VS. Arizona Iced Tea
Arizona because any iced tea will quickly evaporate in Arizona.
Bugs Bunny or The Angry Video Game Nerd?
Bugs Bunny creates a Lady Video Game Nerd out of TNT, a dress, and a blonde wig. The Angry Video Game Nerd, not being a cartoon, is washed off the floor, walls and ceiling with a hose. And most unfortunately he had no extra lives or continues left.
Charles Manson VS John Wayne Gacy
Gacy would be too busy raping little boys to notice that a member of Manson's "family", jacked up on LSD and thinking that Gacy is responsible for Manson's failure to break into the record industry before his conviction, is sneaking up behind him with a knife. Just as Gacy releases his load in little Johnny's anus, the drugged-up woman slits his throat. She then proceeds to kill Johnny in the same manner, and then dies after another hit.
TAG TEAM MATCH for EVIL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Morgoth and Sauron vs. champions Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine
Darth Vader and and Emperor Palpatine because more fanboys give them support.
Card Captor Sakura or Sailor Moon?
Card Captor Sakura can make herself massive and then just step on Sailor Moon. Or she could make herself tiny, enter Sailor Moon's nose, climb up to her brain and then use the fire card to burn it, before quickly making her escape. She may be a little girl, but she's fucking lethal.
DJ CLONEPA Vs SEASONABLE CLONEPA #85
SEASONABLE CLONEPA #85 DUE TO MANLINESS
Terry Bogard vs. Hotaru Futaba
We've been over this a gazillion times. THERE. IS. NO. CLEAR. WINNER.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1202850490 vs http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476
>>82
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1202850490 had 0.213 posts per day, but http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476 had 0.2995, so http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476 is clearly the winner.
Tohno Shiki vs. Ryougi Shiki
Due to continued lazy refusal to look up either name, Ryougi is victorious because the name has more aesthetic appeal in print.
Unstoppable Force VS Immovable Object
Unstoppable Force, because it just plain breaks the immovable object into bits that do move.
Aztecs vs. Ancient Egyptians
The ancient Egyptians were much better at drawing than the Aztecs were and they also made their home in the middle of a fucking desert as opposed to a teeming rain forest, so I say Egyptians
A bird watcher vs. an insect collector
Insect Collectors are highly muscular and much more agile than lame binocular wielders. One of them could would crush a bird watching sissy like a rare beetle.
Aaron Burr vs. Alexander Hamilton the rematch (Cage match)
Burr won by cheating the first time, however since then Hamilton has managed to turn his visage into a weapon. He's also learned to stop time. Think ZA WARUDO with $10 bills replacing Dio Brando's knives, and you know why Hamilton would be victorious this time.
Shigeru Miyamoto vs. ZUN
ZUN unleashes a bullet hell attack while Shigeru is still questing for the Master Sword with his three hearts life bar. The result is a misty pink death for Miyamoto and victory for ZUN.
Eric Foreman (That 70's Show) VS Eric Foreman (House M.D.)
Dr. Foreman because he is black and would obviously be a thug.
East Coast Rap vs. West Coast Rap
East Coast Rap because the smog on the west coast more quickly destroys the lungs of West Coast Rappers.
Will the fresh prince of bel-air vs. Zack Morris
It's no secret Will fled across the contenintal united states when he got in one little fight. The fact that his mom sent him to Bel-Air, and he did not even flee of his own accord, only reveals his nature as a sissy. Zack Morris wins by default as Will does not even show up for the fight. 'Very special episodes' of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Saved By The Bell follow.
Flaming Carrot vs. Earthworm Jim
Flaming Carrot, because even best friends fear him a little!
The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers vs. Mexico's military
The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, because the best weapons Mexico has are lowrider Chevy Impalas with hydraulics and shitloads of flashy colors. A giant mecha or 2 can crush them all.
Sailor Mercury versus Sailor Jupiter
Sailor Jupiter because she's hotter.
The KKK versus Jackson 5.
Jackson 5. Lord knows they all can take a beating, and Michael could probably take on the whole KKK single-handedly.
George Clinton vs. the entire Bootsy's Rubber Band.
Difficult one. Against anyone else, George Clinton would easily be able to overpower them with funk, and cause them to do the Cosmic Slop to the death. Saying this, he has far more up his sleeve than even the entirety of the Rubber Band have - after all, he has fought wars of Armageddon, he has stood on the verge of getting it on, he has tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe and he freed the minds and asses of countless mortals. The rest of the Rubber Band would fall to him within the first hour; only Bootsy would be left. The remaining battle would be a ridiculous synth-laden 10 year jam battle that would cause all life in the world to implode from sheer funkiness, all that would be left would be Clinton's glasses. However, then the soul of Eddie Hazel would lead the souls of everything that ever lived into the new universe, Ideon-style.
Daddy Cool vs Squeeks
While Squeeks was out backpacking the world Daddy Cool was building up his funds and amassing an army of loyal VIPPERS to do his bidding. Based on that I say Daddy Cool.
People who duble post vs. people who don't refresh the page before they post
People who double post, because they are willing to put up with abuse while people who don't refresh the page are just forgetful.
...
People who don't refresh the page before they post vs. people who forget to do the second part of a two-part thread until after clicking Reply?
People who double post, because they are willing to put up with abuse while people who don't posit a deathmatch scenerio are just forgetful.
Pitt the Elder VS Lord Palmerston
Pitt the elder would against Palmerston initially but Palmerston would then use his power of manipulation to get Pitt kicked out of power.
Olde Fortran vs. The Earl Of Doncaster
Λ__Λ
( ﾟ mﾟ） I'm not really into the whole violence thing.
( ）
The poster above gets punched in the mouth
Fruit flies vs. House flies
House flies, they're much bigger.
Bull semen vs. monkey dung
Assuming we are talking about the excretions alone here, and not dealing with the animals as well, I will have to give this one to the monkey dung. Shit has staying power. Who ever heard of fossilized semen?
Ralph Fiennes vs. Liam Neeson
The one who carries out and is w will be the deciding factor
lion vs. tiger
Lion and Tiger make sweet love, and produce a Liger, which is pretty much my favourite animal, all of the time. That said, as it is neseccary the lion be the male in this pairing, the lion wins, because man > woman, always, except in some species of insects and arachnids where the female consumes the male after mating.
Pazuzu Vs Baphomet
Baphomet, because who ever heard of Pazuzu?
Guybrush Threepwood vs April Ryan
Guybrush Threepwood wins because he can summon more British football fans to side with him.
LJN NES games versus Ocean NES Games
Ocean NES games, because it rolls off the tongue quite nicely, unlike LJN NES games.
Hakurei Reimu vs. Saya from Saya no Uta
Reimu because bloomers > all
Miles "Tails" Prower vs Shinji Icari
Shinji giant robots are more powerful than twin tails.
Brahman or Jesus
Definitely Brahman. Jesus got his backside handed to him by a bunch of Romans - humans for crying out loud, how embarrassing - and only revived because his dad intervened. Brahman is an inconceivable infinite something-or-other, so I'm sure he can use his powers to destroy Jesus somehow.
You vs. ten angry cats
The ten angry cats. I don't have my weapons-grade pumpkin at hand.
Espeon vs Tokiko
Tokiko is more annoying but Espeon's posts are more cringeworthy. Espeon probably wins based on tenacity, but ideally the two would somehow annihilate one another leaving them both dead or otherwise unable to post.
Anhedonia vs. suicidal ideation
Rude, >>117.
No, they aren't. No, I don't. No, we wouldn't. Keep lying to everybody, but don't lie to yourself. Tokiko and I chatted happily on the wider internet, and guess what? I'm posting with a tripcode right now invalidating your hateful, uneducated opinion.
Back to topic, anhedonia would probably win. According to Wikipedia social anhedonia remains stable throughout life, whilst a person with suicidal ideation might harm himself or get forced into treatment. Anhedonia is also listed as one of suicidal ideation symptoms, so it can be that bad.
>>117 VS. butter knife in his hand.
If they work together, I suspect that the cast of RAW could, between them, overpower the Voynich Hotel owner. Realistically, there's likely to be a fair amount of infighting on the RAW side, so if the owner plays his cards right he could come out victorious.
Darkpa vs. a dalek.
Of course its Darkpa. However if you had've said Dälek instead maybe it would be a different story, it's hard to imagine Darkpa up against Swollen Tongue Bums.
My left hand vs. my right hand.
>>122
87.5% right. Still a chance for the left to win though.
10 Donkey Kongs vs 700 Pomeranians
For the Donkeys to win, they would have to take on (on average) 70 pomeranians each. Despite being decent fighters, I doubt they could survive the onslaught of the smaller animals, purely due to quantity. However, were the pomerianans to attack individually, I could see the Donkey Kongs winning easily.
Kaz Hiarai VS Reggie Fils-Aime
Reggie is a hearty guy, so you'd expect him to win. However, Kaz is Asian which means he's an expert in Karate. Kaz with the upset.
Frog vs toad
At first I thought you meant Frog from Chrono Trigger and Toadstool, which would have been a no-brainer as Frog has the Masamune sword. Even if he didn't however, he could punch Toadstool and be done with it.
Between a frog and a toad however, it would seem a toad has the ability to swallow most things one would not expect it to. This probably includes frogs, so no matter what tactic the frog uses it would eventually be eaten alive.
Immanuel Kant vs a house cat
Kant has been dead for 200 years, so the house cat would win by default. Even if Kant was alive, though, he'd get so wound up imagining a world in which everyone attacked cats that he wouldn't be able to attack it himself. This is a clear victory for the house cat.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) vs (・∀・)
(・∀・) distracts ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) with OPPAI and attacks.
(・∀・) Wins!
FC3S Turbo Mazda RX-7 or Mazda RX-8?
Mazda RX-8, because 8 > 7, and putting meaningless numbers/letters and the word "turbo" in front of the name is clearly nothing more than a marketing ploy.
Yukari Yakumo vs Loki
Loki because, honestly, there's nobody trickier. #1 tricks.
Funeral attendees vs Wedding attendees. Assume both have the same number of attendees.
My first instinct was that the funeral attendees would be too distraught and weepy - not to mention averse to further death - to put up a serious fight. But it really depends on context. Beyond a certain point in the wedding, the guests tend to become rather inebriated, which would severely limit their fighting capabilities, and the funeral attendees could under certain circumstances end up with the "nothing left to lose" mentality which would make them quite formidable opponents. I suppose my money's on the wedding attendees, but it may well be a close one.
The Great Sky Loli vs the entire population of Luxembourg
Luxembourg because they'd resurrect Brandenburg and get the the gang back together and get a big old Holy Roman Empire war going.
Spinached up Popeye vs Popeye with no spinach, but he has superman powers.
Despite Superman's poor performance in >>1-3, Superman powers would actually be very helpful in this fight. In particular, flying out of reach of spinached Popeye would give unspinached Popeye a huge advantage, probably enough to win.
Kasodani Kyouko vs Sakura Kyouko vs Toshinou Kyouko vs Irisu Kyouko
I'm just gonna say Toshinou Kyouko cause i like her the most, seriously she's the best. Not from Yuru Yuri though, thats Yui.
A japanese businessman vs. A downs syndrome man with no arms
The Japanese business man since he most likely has arms and normal brain functions.
Cumulonimbus vs cirrus
Cumulonimbus wins through vertical superiority.
The ghost of Biggie vs. The spirit of Tupac possessing two present-day rappers (who?)
Trick question; everyone knows rappers don't have souls. The winner is Clonepa.
Fourier transform vs Laplace transform
Fourier transforms can carry out w in only the most contrived of cases, whereas your average Laplace transform can not only carry out but actually be w. Also, "Laplace" rolls of the tongue much easier than "Fourier".
http://secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/ vs http://sageru.org/index.html
While no one can doubt Berserker's fighting prowess, one must be∴r in m∵nd t∴∵t∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴e∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴un∴ble t∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵why∵i∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴
∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴a∴∵th∵ walrus ∴∵k∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵
∴∵∴∵o∵ably w∴∵∴∵n't ev∴∵ be eno∵gh left of him to bury.
The Wizard of Yendor vs Erina from Rabi-Ribi (with backup from Ribbon)