Clonepa or Superman?
I have no idea who they are, so the coin toss says the Wizard takes home the trophy.
Aaahnold vs. 30 5-year-olds hell-bent on murder.
the governator is old and bad, murderous children have the advantage, so them I guess.
Sunred vs. one-punch man
An easy win for Saitama. The fight is over before it's begun.
Hanako (from Katawa Shoujo) vs Hanako (from Anne Happy) vs Hanako (Princess Hitachi) vs Hanako (the lonely elephant, as she was before death)
I'd put my money on princess Hitachi as an elephant as old as Hanako would probably accept death, and the rest are 2D fucking drawings so just use an eraser.
Hitler or Mussolini, hand to hand.
>>145
Mussolini no contest.
Mike Myers vs Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey starts off strong by putting the Mask from the movie "The Mask" on, but Myers brings it right back at him by transforming into Shrek. Carry unloads a full tommy gun clip into Myers, but to no avail, because Shrek is just a CG animation. Carry then removes the mask and becomes ACE VENTURA and summons an army of assorted animals to attack Myers. Myers can no longer take it so he transforms into Austin Powers and bites off all of the monsters heads with his large teeth. As Ace, Carry is woeful at the loss of all of his animal friends. Carry gives up Mike Myers wins.
C9 Mango VS. Reynad
Reynad's forehead strikes terror into even the greatest of men. Mango is no match.
Queen Elizabeth II armed with a crossbow vs Emperor Akihito armed with a shortsword
Lizzy is a skilled sharpshooter and ten'nou heika is working on plans to abdicate due to poor health, plus the natural disadvantage of having a melee weapon against someone with a ranged weapon. Elizabeth II is the clear winner, I think.
10 clones of Hulk Hogan in his prime vs an enraged silverback gorilla.
This comes down to the Donkey Kongs vs Pomeranians issue seen in >>123,124; namely, does the silverback fight the Hulk Hogans one by one or all at once? One by one, I can see this being an easy win for the gorilla, but against all at once, even some basic coordination could result in one or two Hogans holding down each limb, safely incapacitating the gorilla.
A little girl dressed in boys' clothing vs a little boy dressed in girls' clothing
>>150
Boys are stronger than girls plus the added freedom of a dress will improve the boy's movement capabilities.
Fingers vs toes
>>151
It comes down to STR vs DEX: the toes are stronger, but the fingers more agile. I would expect fingers to win because they can cooperate better.
Unless Kirby can inhale him absolutely instantly and stay like that, Jotaro's Star Platinum will squish him like a bug.
You vs your sibling closest to you in age, both parties armed with daggers.
>>154
Definitely my lil bro; though I have more endurance, he's taller and stronger and would end me quickly.
Monsanto vs. Pfizer
Pfizer has a small army of synthetic chemists armed with nasty chemicals; Monsanto just has a bunch of harmless farmers and biologists. It'll be a protracted battle given how spread out Monsanto is, but ultimately my money's on Pfizer.
Captain America vs Captain Metaphysics
>>156
Both would win according to their own definition of winning.
An old man vs Death
The old man may win the battle, but Death will win the war.
One elephant-sized crocodile vs twenty pig-sized crocodiles, all at the same time.
It sounds like the size difference is pure scaling, so by the square cube law the elephant-sized crocodile will be at a significant disadvantage. I'm giving it to the pig-sized ones.
The cast of Azumanga Daioh (sans Sakaki and Kagura) vs the cast of Hidamari Sketch. Three days of prep time, supplies are whatever they could readily access and carry, but no foreknowledge of their opponents. The battlefield is about 4 square km of a deserted city (a la Escape From New York). Assume Osaka does not have access to true immortality.
When the two parties first catch sight of one another, having been expecting far worse enemies, they are so relieved that they all throw down their weapons and declare a truce. Together, they make introductions, chat, set up shelter and so on. After a few days, however, supplies begin running low, all avenues of escape have been exhausted, and it becomes obvious that whatever sick bastard forced them into this situation isn't letting anyone go until they've seen some carnage. Tensions rise. Arguments break out, factions form, lines are drawn in the sand. Shadows move in the darkness. The night air is rent by screams and incongruous giggling. When dawn breaks, the only survivor is Chiyo-chan gripping a bloodstained palette knife, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth, whispering under her breath "tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou..."
An adult tyrannosaurus rex vs a T-26 tank.
Tank cannon go boom. Lizard go splat.
Train vs airplane.
The airplane drops a bomb on the nearest railway station and that leaves the train stranded. The airplane wins.
Stephen King vs Steven Spielberg
Steven Spielberg, on virtue of both his ties to the Mossad and not being in a wheelchair.
Hakurei Reimu vs Batman
In an open arena, Reimu's levitation and indiscriminate curtain fire danmaku could easily overpower Batman. On the other hand, if it's in an enclosed space with cover available, and especially if Batman has the element of surprise, a single well-aimed batarang to the hitbox could probably bring down Reimu.
An applied mathematician vs a pure mathematician
An applied mathematician has the virtue of being able to apply his mathematics to whatever he may wish, and he is not confined to the blackboard. A pure mathematician is. Based on his expanded breadth of capabilities, the applied mathematician wins.
The community of DQN vs captcha
DQN becomes obsessed with making sentences using the captcha. Captcha uses this opportunity to deliver a powerful uppercut. Captcha wins.
The number 6 vs the number 7
6 is made to cease existing by the elitist superstructure and 7 wins by default.
An uncircumsized penis or the majestic 12.
The penis, being a non-sentient part of a greater being with no will of its own, is unlikely to be able to put up much of a fight. As the question does not specify any sort of accompaniment to the organ, meaning it is presumably just sitting there inanimate and defenceless, I'm going to have to give this one to the twelve.
Anna Karenina vs Nastasya Filipovna
Nastasya's Roghozin assists will be the thing to really tip the scale in her favor.
The New York No Wave scene vs the early Japanese noise scene
Both sides blast noise at one another until they go deaf. The result is a draw.
Tatsuhiro Satō vs Ōba Yōzō
After a fruitless and crazy argument about who has the greatest inner pain, they both agree to a suicide pact and prepare to jump off a cliff. However, memories of Misaki stop Tatsuhiro at the last moment while Oba jumps off.
AKB48 vs. Morning Musume (top 10 members from each group)
All else being equal, AKB48 has a larger pool from which to draw combatants, plus they already survived that one handsaw attack, so I'd go with them.
Youmu Konpaku vs Miyamoto Musashi
Given that Youmu can fly, can fire waves of danmaku from a distance, and has a sword that can cut through literally anything, I'm pretty certain she's going to win this one.
A lion vs a polar bear
Lions are just fancy cats. Polar bears, on the other hand, are fancy bears. Polar Bear wins.
45 Kangaroos vs. The Dark Magician
According to the first result on Google, the Dark Magician is a small rectangular card with text and illustrations on it, which rather limits its offensive or defensive capabilities. I'm going to have to give this one to the kangaroos.
You with your arms from the elbows down replaced with chainsaws vs a grizzly bear with both hind legs broken.
The chainsaws are heavy, and I have no way of starting them. I run away as the bear drags itself by the front legs and eventually collapses. I win on paper, but can never truly rejoin society because of the chainsaw arms.
SpongeBob SquarePants vs a sea cucumber.
SpongeBob has plot armor. He technically already defeated a sea cucumber indirectly in "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic"
An anime director vs a mangaka
Mangaka has superior wrist and finger strength, allowing them to snap the anime director's neck like a japanese twig.
Jerry Seinfeld with a rocket launcher vs an attack helicopter
The bus driver thinks he can easily take the taxi driver being in the bigger and stronger vehicle but taxi driver surprises him by taking out a gun from his sleeve and shoots him
Oda Nobunaga vs Justin Trudeau
Nobunaga is already dead, meaning he is the winner.
Captain Planet vs Ivan Ooze
Ivan Ooze wins because "Heart Power" doesn't work very well on anything.
K-selected people vs R-selected people
Hopefully, K-selected people.
Coffee vs a smoothie. The coffee is in a styrofoam cup.
coffee wins because of the heat
2ch vs 4-ch
It's like the Battle of Rorke's Drift, we barely manage to win.
Bricks vs. cement
Because cement is so formless, the bricks are unable to damage it. By the time it hardens the bricks have been absorbed.
Hiroyuki Nishimura vs Ben Garrison
Ben, because Hiro is genuinely retarded.
Man made of corn vs Man made of yams
The man made of corn, because while I don't know what yams are, I assume he has no teeth, therefore he's gonna look pretty funny trying to beat a man made of corn with no fuckin teeth!
St. Mary of Egypt or Yamada from B Gata H Kei?
If we're talking about pre-conversion, then Mary clearly has the stronger will and strength of character, and will certainly not be outdone by an amateur like Yamada. If you mean post-conversion, Mary will probably be weakened by her time in the desert, and will be unable to put up much of a fight.
You armed with a lightsaber vs every US president in order, unarmed, coming at you in waves of five at a time. You are allowed a break of five minutes after each wave. The presidents are allowed to plan and confer before attacking, and know what happened in previous matches, so they can learn from their predecessors' mistakes. Assume the battleground has no cover, no terrain that could be relevant tactically, and nothing that could be used as a makeshift weapon.
This is really a question of whether I'll accidentally cut my own limbs off. I'd bet on the presidents.
HAL 9000 vs these verification codes, but Bowman is pulling out logic boards at about the same time as depicted in the film, with roughly the same effect.
If HAL 9000 can lipread in real time, I'm sure it can read slightly distorted nonsense words almost instantly, faster than Bowman can pull out the boards (takes several minutes in the film). It might conceivably mistake a u for a w or vice versa, but on balance my money's definitely on HAL.
Stephen Hawking vs Davros
Powered wheelchairs are not yet allowed at the paralympics so probably Davros. But Hawking would get more support from the public.
Donald J. Trump vs Hillary R. Clinton
danald tromp
MAGA
I'd be inclined to say Donald purely on size difference but having seen his wrestling ability I think Hillary could get a quick 1-2-3 with little effort. Pre-match promos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbryz0mxuMY
Tim Mack, the 1-pin bowling star, vs Garry Kasparov, the chess master
The skills developed in bowling (strength, precision, hand-eye coordination) are highly applicable to physical confrontations, whereas chess generally favours careful thought and long term strategies. Above all, chess is tightly constrained to a set of rules in a way that fighting is not. On background alone, I think Tim has the upper hand.
( E-E) vs ( ά-ά)
( E-E) has eyes open, and is a clear favorite.
Red vs Blue
Red represents anger and violence, blue is calm and serene. Blue is clearly superior.
Ewoks vs. Gungans
Gungans are more advanced than Ewoks. I'd give it to the Gungans.
Keyboards VS Mouses?
Keyboards win by having more commands than computer mice. However, if someone had really good voice command software and a mouse with several buttons, the mouse might win. Some keyboards include a miniature pointer, mini trackball, or touch pad to get some of the pointing ability that computer mice have.
K-pop vs J-pop
Having heard of one band that converted from K to J, but none the other way around, I can only assume J-pop is superior.
Foot with 5 big toes vs. hand with 5 thumbs
Gnomes vs fairies
Gnomes are masters of combat using melee weapons. Fairies don't know much about combat. Gnomes win.
Battletoads vs Cheetahmen
Obviously Battletoads, amphibians have a higher rate of reproduction.
All Fiction vs Gold Experience Requiem
They both erase one another from reality. Clonepa wins.
Clifford the Big Red Dog vs the Jolly Green Giant
>>209
As best I can tell, taffy pullers seem to be exclusively made of metal, whereas mochi pounders seem to be exclusively made of wood, which immediately gives a large advantage to the taffy puller. On the other hand, the mochi pounder is itself essentially a bludgeoning weapon, whereas a taffy puller is just a metal box with small, slowly spinning appendages attached. When it comes down to it, I think a mochi pounder being used to pound a taffy puller could easily disable it entirely, but a taffy puller being used on a mochi pounder would have little to no effect. I'm going to give this one to the mochi pounder.
>>211
( LΦ`) vs (@MnLj
>>211
Given an open field of battle and without the element of surprise, I would imagine that Serval-chan's superior speed and agility would allow her to easily keep out of reach of the groping appendages, while periodically darting in to quickly injure or even sever one tentacle at a time, leaving the monster in question defenceless. Serval-chan has, after all, been shown to take down ceruleans several times her size.
>>213
Your neighbour(s) living to the left of you vs your neighbour(s) living to the right of you.
>>212
I have no doubt that the students living to the left of me would be defeated within seconds of a battle against the 30-odd members of the Romanian family to the right of me. Those guys need TWO minibuses to get around. They definitely have the overwhelming advantage in numbers.
>>214
VIPPER vs DQN
>>213
That is a tough call. On one hand, you have a guy who is soliciting payment (he won't get much, lol internet), and on the other hand, you have a guy who is enough of an idiot that the normal Japanese words for idiot don't suffice. I think DQN. His lack of a clear end game might be a disadvantage in most situations, but at least running off to mootxico is not in the playbook.
>>215
a sound, well-measured argument vs. some convenient bullshit
>>215 Sailor Moon Crystal hits a lot harder but Original Sailor Moon would only need to get one hit in and Crystal would shatter. If Original Sailor Moon fights smart I think she could take the win.
>>217 Who would win in an all out no holds barred bare knuckle fistfight between Ted Rea from Shattuck, Oklahoma and Satou Hideo, 41?
>>217
Firstly, it seems that Alice is just a normal girl with no particular physical or magical abilities, so it is unlikely she could win against the other three fighters. That leaves Alice, Alice and Alice. I will assume that Alice can re-enact while fighting the feats she performed will dreaming e.g. growing indefinitely tall which is surely the most useful in combat. However, she has no particular will to fight nor combat training.
What about the remaining two contestants? Alice is a magician, a very skilful puppeteer and also somewhat of an artificer. Alice is an idealized perfect doll who appears to combine the talents of all Rozen Maidens, including their combat abilities which are certainly impressive by doll or human standards. Note though that Alice is used to danmaku fighting, helping her dodge ranged attacks from Alice.
In the end, I think it depends on the amount of preparation you allow for the fight. The giant Alice could quite easily stomp out the others. Barring this, Alice would probably win thanks to the sheer number and strength of her dolls, even though her magical powers are probably weaker than Alice's.
So, I'm going to go with Alice winning here.
>>219
Highly-skilled C++ programmer vs highly-skilled Haskell programmer.
>>221
NEET would not be able to turn the salesperson down, and would end up in even more debt from purchasing a 3 years' worth of commercial PBX support for a 60-person business.
>>223
The foil-covered leftovers I know have been in the refrigerator for 6 months or the airtight leftovers that have been in the refrigerator since I moved in?
>>227
Oedipus was a pretty clever guy. Once you bring him up to speed with the concepts and he starts playing around with the item combos, I'd say it would take him only an afternoon or two before he gets one of those split-second screen-wiping kills.
>>229
The main four of Seinfeld against the Beatles. All are aged at the height of their popularity. One day of prep time plus knowledge of their opponents. Modern urban location.
>>228
Seinfeld cast, no contest. The Beatles are too peace-loving and head-in-the-clouds to come up with a viable strategy. Meanwhile, the Seinfeld cast use misdirection to lure the Beatles into various traps and explosives around the battlefield. Once most of the Beatles are down, Seinfeld cast just snipes them out one at a time from afar.
>>230
Girl's Generation vs. the 8 top members of AKB48. No weapons provided. Battle takes place in an empty field.
>>230
According to IMDb, Bruce Willis has appeared in 119 films, whereas The Rock has only appeared in 102 (admittedly this doesn't account for playing the same character in multiple films). Physically they seem pretty well matched, so I think the difference in numbers would be enough to swing it in Bruce's favour.
>>232
Me vs you.
>>231
I don't know anything about you except you post on DQN and know how to use IMDb, so it's hard to say. I've never been in a real fight so I'd probably lose if you have any experience at all. However I am fairly big, moderately fit, and can have some judo training which might give me an edge.
That said I don't really have any desire to fight you so I'd probably just end up conceding.
>>233
A platoon of ten Hello Kitties armed with AK-47s vs. a single US Navy Seal trained in gorilla warfare
>>232 The dumb navy seal went to the wrong class, he might have stood a chance had he went to guerrilla warfare training class but the skills he learned for fighting apes won't help him here. Hello Kitty is actually quite a vicious young girl, he doesn't stand a chance against 10.
>>234 Hulk Hogan vs the same US Navy Seal
>>234
At first, this looks like a clear win for Armok: pure desolation favors Armok, but leaves Nyarlathotep with no pawns and no enjoyment. On the other hand, Nyarlathotep can't really do anything to directly defeat Armok.
Upon reflection, however, I remembered Data's strategy of constant stalemate and frustration against Kolrami, the Zakdorn strategist. Nyarlathotep could postpone the inevitable until it gained more enjoyment out of the scenario than Armok ever could.
Of course, we all know they'd just become friends and team up.
>>236
Nethack's player @ (as the rider War) vs Morrowind's protagonist (alchemy and spellcrafting, but no console)
>>240
Bowser is a stage actor who depending on circumstance can even be swung out of an arena by a tiny man; I'm not saying he's a pushover, just that he's kind of a softie somewhere in there. Robotnik appears to be an actual dick in a strong majority of cases (sometimes just selfish), and is largely foiled by opponents who are kinda OP compared to his mechanical genius. So Bowser will probably lose unless he is allowed to use the "I have a friend" gambit.
>>242
Bozo the Clown vs. Bob from Tekken