You are a successful businesswoman with 20+ years of experience in the field of plastics. You are running late for work. Your worthless but handsome husband is still asleep.
You are in a kitchen. There is a pot of coffee, an orange, and various kitchen appliances and cabinets here. Exits are west and south.
Pour some of the hot coffee on the lazy husband
Choose the next step:
Search kitchen for kitchen knife. Stab worthless but handsome husband in the heart.
You are now a successful businesswidow.
---
You are a successful businesswidow with 20+ years of experience in the field of plastics. You are even more late for work. Your worthless but handsome husband is now dead.
You are in a kitchen. There is a pot of coffee, an orange, a bloody knife and various kitchen appliances and cabinets here. Exits are west and south.
put on the coffee, we want to boil the knife in it. Paranoid that washing it with plain water will be "too obvious" to anyone inspecting pipe s.
Place the coffee pot and knife in the dishwasher to rinse off the remaining evidence.
Exit to the west and take the city bus to your job at the plastics factory. Explain to the security guard that you were late because the bus was behind schedule.
The security guard is asleep. You should put him in the dishwasher.
>>5
You put the coffee on the coffee maker and turn it on high. You throw the knife into it and quietly watch it slowly boil with your cold, businesswidow eyes.
>>6
After you feel the blood has sufficiently boiled, you take the coffee pot, still holding piping hot bloodcoffee and knife (which still looks pretty bloody, you have to admit) and put it in the dishwasher. You close the dishwasher and turn the dial to RINSE. That should do the trick!
You grab your purse and exit to the west. It's a sunny but brisk fall morning. You decide to take the bus instead of your car. Isn't that what widows do? It takes you a few minutes of fumbling with your phone to figure out the bus schedule, but eventually you make it to work, two hours late.
At the front door, you mumble a lame excuse at the security guard, trying to act normal. You realise you never washed your hands. Or changed your clothes. There could be bloodstains.
>>7
The security guard doesn't care about your excuse, because he's asleep. You make a mental note to add him to the dishwasher.
You are in the lobby of your work building. There is an elevator to the west, staircases going up and down to the north, and bathrooms to the east. The exit is behind you, to the south.
Take the elevator to the top floor.
Jerk off in the elevator before we reach the destination.
Have mental breakdown.
Genuflect
>>9-12
You enter the elevator and press the button for floor 200, the top floor.
"ACCESS DENIED," the elevator says in a friendly but robotic voice. It seems you don't have access privileges to go to that floor. You settle for floor 180, the highest floor for which you have permissions.
As the elevator rises from 1 to 180, you take the opportunity to slip your hand down your businesspants and give yourself some self-pleasure. Mmm. Just as you orgasm, images of your murdered husband start flashing through your head. You burst into tears and fall to the floor on one knee. "What horrible monster have I become?!" you scream to yourself, tearing at your hair.
"DING," says the elevator, matter-of-factly. The doors slide open and you see your boss standing with his hands on his hips.
"About time you got here!" he says angrily. "Well, don't just kneel there, we've got an important meeting to start!"
Exits are east, up or down.
Attend meeting and work the rest of the day as usual.
>>13 The eastward exit leads to the ladies bathroom. You remove some of your blood stained clothes and put them in the trash.
When the janitor arrives, he assumes the blood stains were from heavy minstrel flow. He proceeds to throw the incriminating evidence down the garbage chute.
>>14-15
The rest of the day proceeds as usual. Everything is fine. Everything is normal. Except you're wearing less clothes now. You feel a little cold.
The work day is almost over. You just finished replying to all the important e-mails. You are in your office. There is a stapler here. There is a computer here. There are Important Documents here. There is a locked window here. There is a desk here. There is a painting of a woman riding a horse with world-weary eyes on the east wall.
Exits are south.
Browse DQN on computer.
steal stapler for personal use
Stop and smell the flowers.
Stop and preform autocoprophagia.
Stop and active selfie mode on the Iphone 6s.
Consult with the will of the ancients.
pray to God and the Bear for forgiveness
Unlock window
>>17-18
You open up your favourite website, The Elitist Superstructure of DQN. You browse a bit without posting anything. There's a thread called "You are a successful businesswoman" that looks particularly interesting...suddenly, you are overwhelmed with a desire to continue your life of crime. You look around suspiciously and then grab your stapler and hide it in your purse. Haha! It's yours now!
>>19-20
You stop scheming for a bit to appreciate the flowery smell of your businessperfume. Ahh. The scent of lilies mixed with a tinge of money. But wait. You don't deserve this. You deserve to eat shit. You killed your husband. You take off your businesspants and businesspanties, crouch down on the floor and squeeze out a businessturd. It smells like rancid coffee. You take a small handful and shove it in your mouth, tears streaming down your face. This is what you deserve, you monster. You force yourself to swallow.
>>21
But wait, now's the perfect time to test out your iPhone 6s' selfie mode! Hands and face still covered with shit, you fish your phone out of your purse, open up the camera and take a selfie. You give the camera a shit-eating grin.
>>22
Well, back to browsing the internet. You go to your favourite news website, 4-ch.net/news. Let's see..."A Milwaukee man has been charged with sexually assaulting a 101-year-old woman in her home" ... "Police arrest man over Russia-proof bunker" ... it seems like the news hasn't picked up on your dead husband yet.
>>23-24
You are at a loss of what to do. You decide to ask the God and the Bear for guidance and forgiveness. You lower your head and murmur:
"Dear God. Dear Bear. Show me your will. Show me your forgiveness. Amen."
The God and the Bear have heard your prayer!
Your Luck has increased by 1!
Your HP has increased by 20!
Your standing with the God and The Bear has increased from Rank 1 to Rank 2!
The Bear growls in your mind: "Grrr. Grrrroworl. Grworuwourowul." It's somehow reassuring.
>>25
You need a key to unlock the window. You're not sure where to get one.
Grind for EXP.
Get into an argument online.
Throw computer out the window.
Close window. Turn off computer.
E
Rotate.
Stop rotating.
Tell yourself your beautiful cause you are :)
Go to field of plastics.
Frolic and pick wildflowers.
Sing
Wash up. Go to store and get new clothes to replace old ones. Pay in cash.
>>27
You practice your special dance skill Grind by rubbing your butt sensuously against your desk for a few minutes, imagining dance music in your head.
You have gained 30 EXP towards the Grind skill!
Grind has reached level 2!
You have ranked up from Awkward Grinder to Drunken Cougar.
>>28-31
You open up DQN again and start arguing with some anonymous asshole about feminism. You get angrier and angrier until you decide that defenestration is the only option. You grab your computer (a chunky desktop hiding under your desk) and yank it out. The attached peripherals (monitor, keyboard, mouse, router) clatter to the floor as you try to drag the beast around the desk and out the door. Most of the wires eventually extricate themselves after getting caught on various parts of your desk, except for the mouse, still dangling from the back of the computer. It drags behind you like a misshapen tail. You limp slowly down the hall, cradling your computer, heading slowly to the east window. Your face is still smeared with feces.
It seems that you spent so much time online that everybody else has gone home for the night. Nobody seems to be present to witness your sad parade. Eventually you make it to the east window, which is locked, but that's not going to stop you. You throw the computer at it with all your might. The window cracks a bit, but doesn't shatter. The computer crashes to the ground. You try to pick it up and smash the window again, but there is no strength left in your arms. You try to close the window but it's already closed. You try to turn off the computer but it's already unplugged.
From all the physical exertion, you have gained 20 EXP towards BusinessStrength.
Your endurance has increased a bit.
Your lifting power has increased a bit.
Your stamina has increased a bit.
You can now carry up to 5kg in your purse.
>>32-34
You spin in place. You stop. You gain 3 EXP toward the Rotate skill.
You tell yourself, "I'm beautiful."
Your self-esteem has increased a bit.
>>35-36
The closest field of plastics you can think of is the company warehouse a block away. You go back to your office, grab your purse, and take the elevator back down to the first floor. The security guard is still sleeping. It's dark out, and a little chilly. You wish you hadn't thrown away so many clothes. Fortunately, it's a short walk to the warehouse. Your keycard lets you in. The warehouse is large, dark and smells of plastic and concrete. You frolic among the large crates of plastic and sing a joyous song about plastic.
You have gained 20 EXP towards the Frolic skill!
Frolic has reached level 2!
You have ranked up from Clumsy Rhinoceros to Tumbling Waterfowl.
There are no wildflowers here.
You have gained 5 EXP towards the Sing skill.
>>37
After all this frolicking, you're pretty sweaty. Not to mention all the shit and blood. You take a much-needed shower in the locker room of the warehouse. There aren't any clothing stores open this late. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.
You are in the locker room of a plastics warehouse. You have just taken a shower. You are wearing a towel. There are sets of worker outfits hanging on racks here. There are soiled business clothes here. There are lockers here.
smoke weed everyday
Invite security guard to join us on our adventures.
>>39 Use level 3 lock picking skills on all the lockers. Search all successfully opened lockers for more suitable clothing. Lock picking skills improved. 1500 Exp gained, 500 more Exp will unlock level 4 lock picking skills.
>>40,42
You successfully manage to lockpick 10 out of 30 lockers. The other 20 are unlocked and empty.
You find the following items:
You don the most suitable clothing, the complete set of BusinessWear.
You suddenly feel ready to take on the world.
You take the mysterious plant matter and roll it up into a joint. You smoke it.
It smells a lot like oregano, but you get high anyway.
>>41
With your newfound energy thanks to the drugs and clothes, you head back to the office.
"Hey," you say to the sleeping security guard. "HEY! Wake up!"
"W-whaddaya want, lady?" the security guard says sleepily. You offer him a joint.
"Join me on my adventures," you say.
"Man that shit sound corny as fuck. Pass that shit," he drawls, but with a chuckle in his voice. He lazily reaches out to take the joint. You light it for him.
"Okay, whatever. Tell me more, lady. Uh...what was your name?"
Security guard has joined your party!
> ENTER NAME
"Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche"
"Well, that's an interesting name. Pleased to meetcha, Freddy. As for me, my name is..."
> ENTER NAME
Susan Success
Plan ahead for our next meeting.
Lay the clothing end to end and thoroughly pee on them, then light them on fire and run for the meeting room.
Dog
Remove Dog.
>>46-50
The security guard has introduced himself as "Susan Success." You shake Susan's hand and immediately start planning ahead:
"Meet me here at 9am tomorrow," you say. Susan nods and takes another drag off the joint. "We're going to the warehouse to collect all the clothes, lay them end to end, pee on them, then light them on fire and run away."
Susan agrees this is an excellent plan.
Suddenly, a dog appears.
But as soon as your eyes have registered the magical pup, it's gone again.
Must be that stuff you smoked.
From far away, you hear sirens wailing. They're getting louder.
You are in the lobby of your work building. Susan is here, smoking a mysterious joint. There is an elevator to the west, staircases going up and down to the north, and bathrooms to the east. The exit is behind you, to the south.
Go home. Retrieve knife from dishwasher. Stab worthless but handsome husband's corpse a few more times.