I applogize in advance for this could be kind of long, but I hope you will read it for your own insight, since tonight I've learned something very important about girls....
I am THE Denki otoko, but for a quick background I'm an Electrical Engineering student at a 4 year university who is your typical anime/gamer freak. My previous attempts at a relationship with a girl who recently graduated high school didn't work out. She and I had very little in common with each other, enough so that we ran out of things to talk about, and I ended up boring her and she told me that she didn't want a relationship. We haven't spoken since, and I prefer to keep it that way considering how she was sending me the mixed feelings.
Enter a new love interest. I actually met her at a club devoted to the Dance Dance Revolution series, its a blast and good exercise, and I thought she was really nice and cool but she had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't pursue it much. But since that point she apparently became free but I was always too afraid to ask her anything.
Recently I've been tutoring both her and one of my best friends (male) in Japanese since they'll be taking the class next semester, and ever since that started we've been hanging out even more. Recently I've become involved with a church youth group that she is part of, a good group of kids.
I have become more and more infatuated with her, though I let it off in the most unoticeable ways to try to ease into things, but apparently I'm just a little bit transparent in that regard. I asked her out of the blue to join me for lunch last Tuesday, and she said yes, though in that context it wasn't really a "date" per say. We still had fun though.
Tonight at the recent youth event, these two nosy 7th grade girls saw right through everything and started bugging me to ask her out. I have to thank them later because they gave me the much needed feedback that she did think I was cute, and she was apparently hoping I'd ask her out. Casually I asked her to join me for dinner Saturday night, and she casually said yes, bingo. In other words, I had the great advantage of her having blabber mouth friends who let me know whether I should have even tried in the first place.
These two girls are pretty sharp, taking note of just how many things I and my love interest have in common, and I have their support throughout, which is helpful. Without them, I would have asked her eventually, but they helped me get the timing just right. What I've taken from this lesson is that had I delayed further, most likely nothing would have happened.
Tomorrow we'll be volunteering together, then going to a local Renaissance festival, and then our date afterwards, I'm planning to take her to some place nice to give a better impression than what we did last time (Chipotle). I was worried for a while if it didn't work out considering how much we hang out, but apparently she is really understanding so I'm willing to take the chance.
If all goes well, this woman could very well be the one for me, but thats a little far thinking, we'll take things one at a time here. Let me know your thoughts and advice, from what I can tell she is looking for a relationship, as am I. Thanks for reading -電気男
BTW, the lesson I learned is don't wait around for things to happen, make it happen. If you have a potential love interest, ask him/her out, before someone else does....
One thing I dont get, why must there be always something to talk about? I keep getting the impression that us guys have to engage in convo with the girl during the whole time together, sooner or later topics gets exhausted right?
>>2 I've had that problem. In a normal relationship it's not such a threat since you can go out and have experiences together that give you more things to talk about. In long distance relationships, though, conversation is vital, and if you start to run out of things to talk about, the relationship might not work out. I'm sure there's a way to avoid this, such as simply finding new things to talk about! But some people just aren't good at conversation. As for me, I have to get to know someone before I can really talk to them about anything that's on my mind. On top of that, I have myself stuck in such a rut that I don't come across good conversation topics often unless I see it on TV (as in, even though I'm on the internet for a few hours per day usually, I hardly ever visit sites outside of the sites I visit every day such as 4-ch, LiveJournal, DeviantArt etc.).
>>2
OP here. The high school girl was like that, but this same love interest of mine seem to not have that problem, fortunately. She likes to talk more than me, and we set each other off in conversation on even the most mundane topics, but as we both enjoy each other's company so much it really doesn't matter what we talk about.
Our first date tonight went extremely well, I hope for more good ones like that in the future. We're at the point where we're dating, I make fun of her and she makes fun of me, yet not quite officially boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but from what I can tell and considering how well we get along, that could be the next step. What is most encouraging is that I know all of the guys who she has dated before, they all go to the same school, and from what she has described and from what I know about them, I believe I'm the most well rounded candidate. I'll let the time slide for now and continue along this path, but at some point I will pop the question as to whether we're "official" or not. Wish me luck.
good luck ^^
Sounds good, Denki. Progress was there in the first place, you just had to put some more initiative forward...and look where its gotten ya.
Good luck!
wish you all the best 電気男!!
Thanks guys. Tonight we're gonna go to a picnic together and watch fireworks for the 4th, should be fun. I'll keep you informed.
oh dang... I dislike churches especially when there is a lover in there. Make sure that the love you discover for God is not your desire for that girl. Anyway... go for it!
frigid onanoko ≠ atheist... but wary
>>10
Good advice, I'll keep that in mind. By coincidence I'm Christian as well, so our beliefs aren't far off. If nothing else, this girl has given me the excuse to become closer to God considering how busy I was killing myself with electrical engineering. Things are going quite well thus far, haven't gotten up the courage to kiss her yet but I'm working on it. She and a bunch of my friends are all going camping this weekend, should be fun.
Things went very well on the camping trip, me and my buddy made it a big double date of sorts, since we are both dating these two sisters. I'm gonna set a goal for myself that I have to kiss her at some point soon. Any advice as to how to ease into that situation?
First she needs to be very comfortable around you. And when the moment is right, just lean in for the kiss.
Just do it?