This is the ultimate law... Girls always whine about they want a nice guy who cares for them. But when it comes to choose their boyfriend they always fell for the jerk who treats them like shit. Why does it have to be like this? Why don't girls like nice guys? It's just not logical...
What do jerks have that nice guys don't? And why isn't niceness and calm personality appealing to girls?
I just don't get it... I'm romantic, calm, and nice to everybody. I can talk with girls, and can be friends with anybody... but nothing more. They tell me that I'm nice, cute and so, and they just don't get why can't I find somebody.
But it seems like girls don't see nice guys as a possible boyfriend...
What can a nice guy do?
Guys to the exact same thing to nice girls, they dump them for the nagging, gold digging bitch who is completely insensitive to his needs.
Confidence, ego, a bit of raw masculine oomph. Girls want a guy who can make them tingle, they want emotion. Be that sadness or joy, that's what they like. A 'nice guy' doesn't give them that. You don't have to be a jerk, you just have to make sure that nobody ever calls you "nice".
If they'd want emotion, then I wouldn't be alone...
>>3
Yeah, this is true. I make no secret of the fact that I'm an arrogant self absorbed asshole, and I don't really have a problem with girls. A lot of it is confidence, which is very important, and also the fact that a jerk will usually make a move when a nice guy wouldn't. They make more opportunities for themselves to get girls.
To be fair though, jerks are more likely to have short meaningless relationships or veeery long and bitter ones. The nice guys will have the decent relationships. At least, that's what I've always seen, and experienced myself. Hell, one of my friends had a great relationship (I mean, it changed his life) with a girl that I'd insensitively gotten rid of.
Yeah nice guys are more likely to have long stable relationships. But if you can't get the girl in the first place there is no point. A balance is need to found between the jerk and nice guy.
Women are just bitches. That's all. When you realize that, you can plan and act accordingly.
Besides "Nice guys" are usually creepy.
Most women(who are bitches) would rather go out with a guy who hits her, gets drunk, and is a complete ass than go out with a guy who is creepy.
People are more apt to put up with abusive and rude than they are creepy. Creepy is scary because there's no real way to deal with creepy. Abusive and rude is usually just leave the SOB when he's at work or fucking around.
CREEPY guys are like herpes they show up at your work, at your parents house, they go around telling people you are still together and possibly getting married...SOON. They start wanting to name kids in the middle of the first date.
Actually...shit -I- would rather go out with an abusive asshole than a creepy "nice guy" myself.
I'm not really creepy, I'm more eccentric and bizarre. If done right that can be sexy.
>Besides "Nice guys" are usually creepy.
so true. creepy isn't just a stumbling point for love relationships, it's a stumbling point for getting to know ANYBODY because nobody wants to hang with the guy that unsettles everybody. and there isn't really a cure for creepy except for seeing that shit in yourself and trying to fix it. like, say, not declaring your eternal and undying love to girls you don't know (from one frequent /love/ example).
Stop being so nice, end of story.
That's not going to get you anywhere. Don't go out of your way to help a girl when you're in the middle of an Escaflowne episode. Stop being so considerate, if you want to say something, say it, regardless if it offends her or not. Don't spend all day talking on the phone with her, you got shit to do. Don't give all of your time to her, have a life of your own. This will let her know you are off doing your own thing instead of sitting around and catering to a girl, which you should never do.
Girls see nice and sensitive guys as just friends. I'm not saying you have to be a complete asshole, but you have to let the girl know that you won't always be available, and once she becomes annoying you're moving on to the next one.
hi, i have a problem, this girl and i went to the same school till grade 12 and now i am in a different city then she is. i have liked her since grade 10, thats when i moved to her city but i was afraid to tell her anything, now that i am here in a different city, i have really started to miss her. it is a little bit hard to say if she likes me or not, everytime i am in her town and give her a call, she would invite me over to her place and stuff. we really haven't hung out at all. i just dont know where to start. heard that messenger is the worst way of talking, so i have actually quit using my aim. if anyone of you can help me with this. would be greatly appriciated. and yeh another thing is, i would like her to be my soul mate for the rest of my life. i know this sounds creepy too but thats what i feel about her. please help.
thank you
hi, i have a problem, this girl and i went to the same school till grade 12 and now i am in a different city then she is. i have liked her since grade 10, thats when i moved to her city but i was afraid to tell her anything, now that i am here in a different city, i have really started to miss her. it is a little bit hard to say if she likes me or not, everytime i am in her town and give her a call, she would invite me over to her place and stuff. we really haven't hung out at all. i just dont know where to start. heard that messenger is the worst way of talking, so i have actually quit using my aim. if anyone of you can help me with this. would be greatly appriciated. and yeh another thing is, i would like her to be my soul mate for the rest of my life. i know this sounds creepy too but thats what i feel about her. please help.
thank you
hi, i have a problem, this girl and i went to the same school till grade 12 and now i am in a different city then she is. i have liked her since grade 10, thats when i moved to her city but i was afraid to tell her anything, now that i am here in a different city, i have really started to miss her. it is a little bit hard to say if she likes me or not, everytime i am in her town and give her a call, she would invite me over to her place and stuff. we really haven't hung out at all. i just dont know where to start. heard that messenger is the worst way of talking, so i have actually quit using my aim. if anyone of you can help me with this. would be greatly appriciated. and yeh another thing is, i would like her to be my soul mate for the rest of my life. i know this sounds creepy too but thats what i feel about her. please help.
thank you
sorry about that. i am not sure why it posted three times.. no idea..
Shit man, you guys are in a different city which makes things really difficult. I would try calling her a bit, ask her how her life's going and just try to become friends again. If you're in a different city chances are you two have grown apart and not as close as you were. If the conversation is good, just keep calling her, but not too often, maybe once a week. Then she'll probably start calling you and tell her how her life is going, which would be very good.
I wouldn't recommend using messenger at all. It's pretty gay.
Don't tell her you love her or anything shit like that. That will creep her out.
the whole thing makes me sick. so much of a bother, we got better things to do. just dont lose sleep over these things, if theres anything you should be losing sleep over, you should be losing it over where youre going in life. in total that is
I would say you try to maintain a friendship, even if it is a weak one. But I don't expect anything to happen, since the distance will be a huge factor.
Loud jerks don't scare girls, nice, quiet guys do.
D:
i see what you mean.. another thing i was wondering too, i have heard that relationship with her parents is very crucial.. is that correct?.
>>18 That's not true! I'm a girl and loud jerks scare me! I actually prefer the nice, and quiet type of guy.
i hope that the girl i like thinks like you do.. would make life that much easier.
>>21
well, there are some girls that are like that, and we can't avoid it, can we?
most girls are not like me though.
well you are a girl... what do girls like the most about guys?
what do girls usually want from guys?
Girls really don't know what they want, this is why the nice guys get to listen the the girls who like "funny, kind, sensitive guys" compain about their crude, violent, manly man when he's a jerk to her.
Well, some girls want love from guys. I wouldn't know, really. I don't even know how I got together with my boyfriend! Although, I did complain to him about my ex when we got together..
We girls want attention, I guess. I'm not sure myself. (x_x)
see i am willing to give attention too but then if you give too much attention, then girls freak out and think we are all creepy .
Not unless the girl is interested in you
true.. see she has never told me that at all but then last time i talked to her was like atleast 3 - 4 months ago. and i dont know how to start a conversation after such a long period of time.
You can start by asking how she is. Like a simple, 'How are you? It's been a long time since we last talked to one another.'
Something simple like this can work.
i see. as i dont know her as much i dont know what i should be talking about. so sometimes there is silence which makes me really nervous.
Girls don't really go for jerk guys... at least I don't. Just a few of the guys I've dated have been rather jerkish to other people.. and when they've been jerkish to me, I've tossed them to the side.
Confidence has something to do with it. And you don't have be to a jerk to have confidence. And while you don't have to spend every waking moment on the girl, giving her some attention doesn't hurt. Otherwise why bother with a girlfriend, huh?
The type of guys I like are the geeky ones.. who're nice and fun to talk to.
Being a nice guy won't get you anywhere. This is coming from an ex nice guy.
You're caught in the mindset that if you're nice to people, they'll like you. The nicer you are, the more they'll like you. Are they being mean? Well shit, you're just not being nice enough then!
This is wrong. So very wrong. It's usually an excuse to avoid conflict, either the guilt of being mean, or the fear of someone possibly being mean to you in return.
If you're nice to everyone, they'll just walk all over you. Male, female, irrelivant.
If you don't learn how to be mean within context, and to stand up for yourself, you're just going to be weak for the rest of your life. You'll never get anything you really want.
If you're nice to everyone, and you have a girlfriend, then she's probably just as pathetic as you are. You'll end up satiating each others existance, and neither of you will grow.
Girls want to attach themselves to someone who can provide, someone who (they see) is strong, and can deal with things so they don't have to. They can argue this point ad infinitum, but human basic instinct/primal drive will always win out in the end. Guys will always initially favour the pretty girl.
Learn this, the modify it to fit your own behavour. The more you cry about hopelessness, the closer it gets.
>>33 you're very right about that. But don't forget that there are nice people who don't use other nice people too.
>>33
Agreed. Totally agreed. If your personality is to be nice, that's great and all, but when it comes down to it, standing up for someone (including yourself, or others) requires you to be "nice" to one side. Basically, you pick and choose, and frankly, one shouldn't choose the jerk over the nice guy (though there are times when you wouldn't pick either >_>;;).
yeh i see what you mean. i am planning to give her a call tonight.. one thing i was wondering.. i got in a car accident last tuesday, we hit a transport tractor. my whole life flashed upon my eyes. i dont have anyone in my life, like no parents or siblings, and only thought about her all that time i was in the hospital. should i be telling her all that or is that too creepy..
Well, I wouldn't be freaked out if I was the girl. In fact, I'd be worried sick! But think of it this way. If you do call her and tell her that you were thinking about her the whole time you were in the hospital, don't you think you're already confessing your love to her?
I know it's what you want, but think about it too.
(I'm not making any sense at all.)
Call her now!! Tell her everything..
>>36
Don't lay all that on her. You are putting her in a tough situation telling her you don't have anyone else, almost like you're forcing her to be with you. Wait until you get back on your feet and than try to talk with her.
It not forcing people. It just a phone call to express his feeling to her!!
Ok with me. It your choice.
This is how it is yo
You just gotta give it to her straight up, say listen, I'm crazy about you, we've known each other for a long time, I don't know if you're interested in me like that or not, but I've really missed you and feel like you're a big part of my life. Just let it come from the heart. If you read all these posts and shit and try to base all your decisions on like a million diff opinions its gonna make you more frustrated. Life's too short to live in fear of rejection all the damn time.
Don't come off all desperate and shit, just give it out plain vanilla, man. Ladies appreciate you being straight up with em.
Are you sure bout it?
>>42
Don't you think it would be nicer to ask her out?
But inviting her to your place is fine too. Clean up your place when she does come over.
i see.. well i am at work right now..lol.. i'll call her when i get home i think.. the only thing that scares me is if we start going out and then break up.. that will shatter me really bad.. thats what scares me.. especially because of the distance..
It's too early to think about that, don't you think?
You are afraid of her breaking up with you and you don't even have her as a girlfriend. Hey stupid, go some balls, ask her out and build a relationship and then worry about losing her.
lol.. cool.. my birthday is coming soon.. is there any action i should do for that
I think the answer is too obvious.
HINT: Birthday party.
HINT2: Invitations
HINT3: HER.
And how soon is soon? A 1-2 weeks, or a few months?
>>36 Saying something like "I have nobody" puts her in a really awkward situation, like when someone says "....my cat died." and they aren't quite sure what to say to try and cheer you up. I wouldn't bring it up if I were you, near death experiences aren't exactly fun to hear about.
>>54 Maybe, but we aren't trying to get him to feel all warm and fuzzy, we want her to be attracted by him. I just can't see "I almost died" being a turn on for most people.
Of course, I'm just imagining myself in that situation, and I'm no girl. So who knows.
yeh i see, well i think its kinda stupid to say that i almost died but it might not be a bad idea to tell her that i got in a crash and was literaly under the trailer. i dont think i should tell her about me being all by myself and stuff yet.. i will called her sunday, she was not home. i didnt try calling again because it was kinda too late. i will try calling tonight after work to see if i can get a hold of her.. should i say something like " i was planning to come over to (her town) and pay you a visit but i was in an accident and havent felt great since to be leaving my place for a long drive." do you guys think that would be okay or is that kinda stupid. and then we can talk about other stuff as well and tell her i got my new place and stuff like that.
i just read my last message and i wrote " I WILL CALLED HER SUNDAY". sorry i meant " I called her sunday "
i called last night.. her dad answered.. her parents know me pretty well.. they asked how i was and stuff. i didnt tell them about the accident. i didnt know if i should... she wasnt home again. she was at her friends studying for her test.. so told them to tell her i called to see how she was..
hey another thing i was wondering, she does not have my new phone number.. should i just give it to her saying that hey, i got my new place and here is my phone # or what is the best way of giving it.. or should i not even bother..
I think you should give it to her.
BTW, if OP is still here, do you happen to play D2?
k i called her last night again and there was no answer again.. should i call tonight as well or should i give it a break and call her on the weekend?
it is so tempting to call her like tonight again but i will wait till the weekend..
girls like "jerks" so to speak - cuz they usually have a lot of charisma and a "take her or leave her" attitude. Girls like the challenge of someone who is "hard to get". Nice guys are always there waiting desperately for a girl to notice them. She knows you are calling her and meh whatever.
right... should i be calling her on her cell or her home phone?.. which one is preferable?
How about both if you can't reach her?
HERE IS THE REAL TRUTH AS TO WHY GIRLS LIKE JERKS.
Truth: girls want jerks for early, short term relationships. They want to marry and grow old with nice guys. What this means is, their impulse is to date jerks, but their logical mind if they are planning for the rest of their life is to date nice guys
WHY IS THIS YOU ASK?
Truth: Because it is an evolutionary mechanism built in to women. Genetically speaking, girls want the strongest, fittest male to impregnant them. This will give their genes the greatest chance of passing on and surviving when the child is born and ages. (Face it, in the world humans came from, the jerks would survive better than the nice guys, generally).
However, girls don't JUST want strong jerks, because they would make terrible fathers. They would be more likely to neglect the child, to cheat, and to hurt the mother. Because of THIS, having a jerk raise your kid is a bad idea, so women look for the nice guy to live with and raise their kids. Ideally from an evolutionary standpoint, a women is impregnated a few times by jerks, then she marries a nice guy who raises the kids with care and attention. Thus the kids get the best of both worlds.
This is shown without question with testing. Women are much more likely to pick a 'jerk' over a 'nice guy' during the days of a month they are fertile, for example. Women pick different men for one night stands and short term relationships than they do for long term ones. They have tested brain waves in different situations to back this up, and there are many more experiments of the like. Heck, this exact behavior is very well tested and documented in lower intelligence life forms.
But hey, while you just have countless eons of evolution working against you, at least humans are smart enough to make rational choices not based on genetic makeup and some women will make better choices because of it.
interesting... well the girl i am after then probably does want a jerk as we both are in our teenage... could it be like i pretend to be a jerk but when she grows out of being with a jerk i could show her who i really am and have a chance of having long-term relationship with her..?
>>71
Don't be so quick, although girls do have a natural urge to follow the above mentioned formula, there is still a ton of varience among them as you might expect. The best bet is to be self-confident, cocky, but understanding and honest. Living a lie won't help in the long run, and probably won't work either.
I can't tell you how often one of my friends has come up with the plan "I don't really want to date this girl anymore or have her be attached to me, so I'm just going to pretend they are one of the guys and talk about all that rape, racism, illegal stuff around her like I do when she isn't around" only to have the girl fall totally in love with them because of it.
Well, it's been at least two or three times. But point being, be honest, cocky, and totally self confident in your attitude. That doesn't mean be a jerk.
i think i am starting to understand more stuff now.. basically, show her that she does mean a lot to me but i dont need her to live my life..
It's the best you can do. If you stop to think about it, it's exactly the truth also
is it better to call her later in the night time or in the evening.. she does go to college.. i have been calling her around 9:00 pm - 10:00pm.. and i am wondering if that is too late.. should i call her as soon as i get home which is around 6:00pm..
Happy birthday Sunderland.
Anyway, maybe yeah, it is kinda too late. Try to call her around seven or eight.
Thank you.. i turned 19..lol.. i am kinda excited but scared too..lol.. last year of teenage.. yeh i will try calling her around seven.. do you think it is a good idea to tell her that it is my birthday and i am coming to her town to hang around with my friends, and ask her if she would like to come along.. or is it kinda too early to ask her to go anywhere with me at this point.
Christ ask her out already. I mean you have been planning this for like FOREVER. This is ofcourse that she answers the phone.
19...eh? are you in college?
no actually, i work for apple.. i am just trying to save up some money to go to college next year..
by the way.. i called last night again, her mom answered. she wasnt home again, i left my new phone number and her mom said she will let her daughter know. her mom and i talked for like 15 mins. i asked her how everyone was and stuff, she said everyone was fine.. she asked me what i am doing now adays. told her where i work and stuff.. she sounded like she was "happy to hear my voice" maybe.. i just felt very welcomed by her... so i dont know..
You called her many times and she hasn't picked up. I think she maybe trying to avoid you. Or she doesn't live at home because she goes to college.
well i talked to her mom and she said she lives there still.. maybe she is trying to avoid me.. but then again.. everytime i am in here town.. she tells me to go over to her place for a coffee.. i am so confused
Don't assume anything by how often someone answers their phone or is at home. If she doesn't want to talk to you, let her say it herself, but if she wants you to go to her place for a coffee, then unless something happened she isn't trying to avoid you.
thats what i thought.. if she was avoiding me, then she would not be so nice and invite me over all the time.. i will call her tonight again.. man i have so bad luck. first i was in a car accident..yesterday, while changing my tire, my jack broke and the car fell on my hand.. lol.. its like i am cursed by the car...
stop calling her every night. wait for a few weeks and then give her a call.
James, how many times have you attempted to call her so far?
Also, how's your hand? That accident with your hand sounds pretty serious.
um i have called her around 4 - 5 times..
hand is okay.. i broke my wrist and crushed me fingers.. lol.. not that bad i guess.. as i said.. cursed by the car...lol
sell that piece of shit.
lol i thought about it but its the nicest car i've had..
4-5 times in how many days?
around 2-3 weeks
lol... i havent called in like 3 days now so i think i might call tonight..
ah...desperation
if i tell her about what happened to my hand, she might think that i have the worst luck and might not want to be with me.
well if she is that dumb, are you sure you want to be with her?
jerks are more better in expressing themselves