So, there is this girl. She's my dad's student. We've been hanging out sometimes during lunchtime at work (we work at different areas of he city) and I gotta say, it's kind of fun. Recently, I just started holding hands with her and (deep breath)... it was my first time holding hands with a girl. I've also read a bit from Neil Strauss and Mystery, using some techniques, such as cocky and funny, revealing her real desires, making her laugh a bit. It's great, but something is fishy. Paranoia and insecurities, to be exact. Now, I know some Japanese girls like foreign guys, but I'm not exactly Mr. Sexy. I look fat, and I think it stems from that, really. I am thinking she is just being very kind to me, like how Japanese are. So, I am now sitting and thinking to myself "Nothing is going to happen, because you have nothing to offer her." I guess what I'm trying to figure out if she is genuine or if she is just being kind and considerate. Help me, please?
no offense, but this isnt the personal issues board.
An elaborate 100 post troll? Or THE GREATEST /LOVE/ THREAD EVER? Either way, this is brilliant. I love it. I'm eating up every second of it. Who needs TV when you have /love/?
Fine. This is going there.
Hay /love/, OP here.
I have an update on us.
Please read.
So yesterday she was acting a little less lovey-dovey. Hell, we didn't even kiss goodbye when we got to the station! She has a big competition coming up, and I think it's from the stress. I could be wrong, but who knows. Anyways, I wanted to talk to her today during lunch and tell her that we should take a break while she has to practice for the competition. Fast forward to the evening. Well, I talked to her, and I think she wants to break up. I don't have an official break-up... but I get the feeling I messed up. See, she's worried about getting lessons from my dad, yeah? That's her top priority. When she asks me about my parents to see if they allow us to date, I keep saying "I don't care." Which to me comes off as being immature. As well as me touching her when she is in front of her peers or other people, including my dad. I realized last night that I am acting like an immature child who is all touchy-feely--- which the Japanese are not. I don't think that's the main reason, but that is what I am assuming.
She wants to talk to me tomorrow... because for some reason she couldn't tell me much yesterday when I waited for her and surprised her after work.
I understand that I must change to improve myself and to improve my character, but I'd like to continue this relationship with her. What's your take on all of this? Do you think she is going to break up with me for sure? What can I do now?
At the risk of making generalizations, Japanese tend to have a strong sense of shame. It is possible that the shame is now haunting her; despite our progressive society, it is possible that she now feels guilty about dating you, possibly because she's your dad's student, or because she's worried about other people's approval of your relationship. This would explain her dislike about you two being touchy-feely in public.
I cannot offer any useful advice, I'm afraid. Perhaps you should confront her about it, but this could be dangerous, and even if she did open up to you, it will be very hard to erase something as ingrained as shame. For now, maybe it would be best to cut down on the PDAs until you've discussed things with her more. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you do.
Never mind, found out.
I have a PDA.
>>106
**P**ublic **D**isplay(s) of **A**ffection.
aww, crap. Bold apparently doesn't work, or I must have done it wrong... facepalms I apologize.
>>111
I think you're getting too far ahead of yourself. There's no break-up until you're actually broken-up.
True. I might just be jumping the gun as usual.
All of you are a bunch of Gaia fags
>>111
If you can get through this without breaking up, it will make your relationship stronger. But if you're assuming already that you're going to be breaking up, you're only making things worse for both of you. You need to fight if you want to keep this relationship alive.
Hey, guys. Thanks for all the help.
I come to you today to tell you that I am thinking of separating with her. I've been thinking. She's 23, she already finished university, and now works in Yamaha 2 hours away from her house. I am 19, and am currently thinking about the future. I think we should separate and go our own ways. She has to find someone more stable. She's working everyday, helping out her family, with a deadbeat dad. She told me that if her mom gets sick, she must die because they have no money for the medicine and surgery, were it to happen. Also, since because she is a pianist, she should at least get her Doctor's in order to have a more stable future, which she currently can't because of money restraints and troubles. She's working with her sisters in order to keep some balance in the house. I feel she should go to the final school and get the master's. I don't know if I should continue this relationship in order for her to find someone who can support her well. I can't help her any bit, other than going to her concerts and competitions. She told me she's worried about her future. I don't want to hold her back, so I might let her go.
She was the first to ever like me, take in all my faults, and love me for who I was. My first girlfriend, the person I lost my virginity to, and my first love.
Thoughts? Comments? This is going to be a very hard thing for me to do, but I know in my heart and mind that it's right.