Now look I'll give you some actual advice. You need to stop looking at women as equals, not because they are useless, but because they are not as mentally strong as men. You are disappionted for no reason, just accept things for what they are.
Stop looking for a match in abilities, start looking for someone who can compliment your needs.
The fiction you consumed as a child is just fantasy, it doesn't reflect reality. The normal need for a man is to have someone to care for and to provide with safety and affection. In a normal relationship the man gives, and what he recieves foremost is the satisfaction of providing.
You need to find yourself in this role and stop waiting for wonderwoman.
Can you do that? If not, I suggest you simply embrace solitude, because no relationship will bring you anything but misery in the end, and you will waste your energy and regret it. If you say your sexuality is failing, that's just a good thing, given your circumstances. Find satisfaction through other endeavours, but do not allow yourself to be bitter for what you do not have. Instead, realize that not having it gives you more freedom in other areas. Always appriciate what you have instead of missing what you don't. One thing is not better than the other, it's just different. So if you can find yourself in your current situation, you can be happy and fulfilled.
Few accomplish this however, most who try go about fooling themselves in not letting go of their hopes, and it sucks the life out of them. Nonetheless, good luck on whatever you choose.