>Okay, so. Here are PICS to prove I exist.
（ °∀°）
>do guys get drunk so that they can make a move?
YES. Definately yes.
Which is a terrible thing because if anything happens, you'll wonder if it was alcohol speaking or not. But this can also be used as a lame excuse if anything went wrong. Oh double-edged sword.
>I think I'm probably blinded by how much I like him.
That's probable. He might also be the kind of guy that's hard to read. Some people are like that. I know I am. And that I'm inexorably attracted to girls that are the same. Of course this leads to many awkward situations. Like dropping hints like madness (a thing I usually don't do) and being persuaded that everyone around me got where I was going, but in the end NO ONE suspected anything. "You hide your game well", told me one friend. Which really was the one who should have realized it first. Of course even the girlie didn't get it. Duh.
>Also, is friendzone possible for girls?
Yes it's possible. But not for the majority.
>What makes a date a date?
Depends on people and culture, I guess. For me, it's when a girl and a boy spend time together one-on-one, and that at the end of it things between them go "level up!" (that doesn't imply anything sexual or even a kiss - just that the relation between them both closes up a bit).
----
That's it for the answers. Now, as I see it: he likes you. He likes hanging around you, and if you're really "weird" like you say, you might be some kind of "rare species". Rare + liked = prizable, if you see what I mean. Now just you try and grow on him!
The idea is not suffocating him by being always around (this is one of the things that makes guys run away), but still somehow pressuring him. Think fishing, it's the same process. Pull too hard and you break the line; leave too much room and it slips away.
Find a way, however you propose it, to get another date. You have to get it soon, but not too close to the first (ie, as soon as possible decide on a "date" next week or so). And each time you have this kind of one-on-one situation, your objective is that at the end he likes you "a bit more", to the point (let's hope it happens) things get flirtarious and such.
He seems a cool guy. Best luck to you Thunder-chan!
>>60
Hihi, #56 here.
First off, love the pics. Lolita still = hotness, and it fits you well. Also,
>I'm a virgin, though, so LOL, not gonna happen.
You win so much for this. I'd totally give you my # if it doesn't work out.
Anyway!~
I only recommend against getting drunk because as you mentioned you were worried he might just want to use you for sex (which also makes me a bit concerned that he might not be a good guy to pursue if he makes you feel that way). #64 also mentioned another reason why alcohol isn't so good for confessions. If you have a good amount of self control tho like it sounds you do, then go for it if you think it'd help--just be careful!! ;o;
As for mentioning the term 'date', I've heard from friends that unless you specifically say the word date, it's not. That seems to be my experience as well, as I've gone out with female friends in completely platonic situations many times. This also answers your friendzone question...a lot of my friends back home (I'm in college, master's degree in game design, etc.) are girls, they have boyfriends but we're still really good friends. One of my female coworkers I used to frequently go to lunch with, and it was all friends-only. Same with my former roommate who was a girl, she was taken and I never thought of her as more than anything but a close friend.
Overall, if he likes you, mentioning the word 'date' will not scare him off, but he'll be totally in to the idea. If he's not in to you, then it might scare him off, but if he wasn't in to you to begin with, then.. D: [Not offering to pay isn't a good sign, IMHO. ]
Bottom line: It's really a judgment call on your part. We don't really know what he's thinking [If only it were that easy, right?], so I imagine you have two choices- either go for the straight out asking for a date/getting drunk and confessing, or just stay friends and slowly try to win him over (well, or doing nothing, but that's no good!) As a guy, the latter seems to typically fail, but if you get a good feeling about making progress, feel free to give it a try. Either way, we're all rooting for your success!
Thunder, I hate you because I want you.
In a fire with you.
Burn.
off topic; this topic breathes some nice life in 4-ch. Continue!
>[Not offering to pay isn't a good sign, IMHO. ]
Don't know. I know for some first "dates" which I wanted to come as casual and not "too strong", I didn't propose to pay (or just acted like it was a mutual agreement to share without even lifting the case) - either because I shyed out or because I, well, wanted to take my time.
-laughs- you guys are all confusing me now. I've been trying to think about ways to ask "do you want to go out on a date with me" but I can bet you all right now, it's going to sound like, "wannagodawime" aufjfjlfdfkk;
Hmm...we're supposed to hang out this weekend (no specifics set), and maybe I'll muster up the courage to say that word, "date," but. erm. don't want him to be scared away. (Some guys are afraid of commitment!)
Our hangout this weekend supposedly includes one of my best best friends. (He's a guy, but he's obviously gay.) I feel like Hermes...bringing a friend along to see how he measures up. (Okay, no more densha ref, but my friends are very important to me!) He didn't suggest that I bring the friend, I did...am I shooting myself in the foot?
I have more to say on date vs. not but I write too much, already. Thank you everybody for your input, trust me, I am listening!
>>66, one word for you: HAWT.
@Thunder-chan: Do you have a closet-full of Lolita clothes?
In a way, I think that is cool because it shows your interest in whatever style you're in...but I also think it is creepy because it tells me THAT'S what you only wear (but I guess that's just a common opinion to most people).
Anyways, back to the thread. I can tell you first hand that when I was "dating" (and I mention this because we weren't really close at the time), we kept splitting the bill every time we went out. Before I continue, I can tell you that I'm from the upper-middle class (I'm not ashamed because that's where I come from) and my girlfriend is from the rural class (basically...poor). Even after we began going out, she still demanded me to split the bill. She tells me later that it's not because we're not lovers, but more likely she puts it as "WE'RE NOT MARRIED, STUPID!!" Eventually, she let me pay for most of our dates because I showed my dedication to her.
I'll clarify more...but I have to let my roommate in the dorm...brb.
sorry about that folks.
What I was trying to say is that "splitting the bill" might not always be a sign of unaffectionate attention. Sometimes, the guy might not have enough cash, so therefore he requests you pitch in...other times...he can just be a dick and not realize that he should treat the girl.
Regardless of the reason, the main focus should of been whether his tone of voice was calm and social, or you think he's putting a face. As I read your post, I basically remembered the times when I told my girlfriend "you can have the rest" (even though I was still hungry and she was weight-conscious) and I got a slap in the face. I'm not surprised though that you didn't do it this time...but if it repeats again...you think you'll retaliate?
Quite honestly though, I think it should be fine that you are worried to say the word "date." In most cases, it's the guy who should say it because us guys are supposed to take the lead. However, since you initially stated that you like to take an aggressive approach, this could be an exception (just don't force it on his face!). I believe you like to hang out with him, and that's good. My question is: do you like to hang out with him some much that sometimes you feel you only want to hang out with him, and block your friends out for that moment?
Good luck on the hangout though. Remember, you and that guy are just friends still at this point. Until either you or that guy musters the courage to say "can we go out," just imagine that you like to hang out with this guy more than anyone else.
As for >>65, STFU! We're supposed to help Thunder-chan out, not reassuring her of losing her virginity if this doesn't succeed.
Yo Thunder-chan...you're a great girl; don't forget that.
@soccerfuu9
Haha, I think a closet of only lolita is pretty creepy, too, because sometimes it's inappropriate wear, and those dresses are expensive, y0! I used to be REALLY goth, so my closet has a lot of black...I also used to wear a lot of really punk clothing (zippers, chains)...but I've mellowed out since then. Nowadays I'm still "stylish" but I like fashions that are more mainstream-appropriate. I like a lot of skirts, though...and tights/stockings...I kind of hate pants...
I didn't retaliate meanly, I just sort of laughed it off. I'm self-conscious because I'm a little on the chubby side, (NOT fat, don't worry, I'm not crazy) and he seems to have a really perfect body. Maybe next time I'll joke and try to feed him...(but that is a BIG forward move!)
I would like it if he asked me out, that would make things a lot easier! (´~`) If he doesn't, well...we'll see where this goes, I'll try to be myself and gauge his interest.
...of course I want to hang out with only him...I think I sort of panicked when I invited my friend along...(plus, he really wants to meet him...)
ah, time for this face: ＿|￣|○
@Thunder-chan: "plus, he really wants to meet him..."
I hope he ain't gay...
Anyways, for now, I guess hanging out with him like normal people is a fresh start, Thunder-chan. You have to let him know that you are a friendly person to hang out with and that you are free to let him talk about whatever and vice versa. Joking around and trying to feed him isn't a "dating" move in my book...it's just for fun. It's only a "dating" move if you start calling him "honey" or some random shit.
Where do you buy your clothes in HK? High-end department stores?
Oh...and for future posts, maybe you should post pics of yourself in other clothing (though I'm pretty sure some of the Lolita fans here will bang their heads).
Have fun with it Thunder-chan...you're doing fine. And don't make that face!! Be :)
what's wrong with this thread? How come I can't see all the postings?
>>137
Some idiot found an exploit late last night that made threads show no content, and spammed it pretty much everywhere. Some thread pruning probably had to occur as a result, I imagine. I notice some threads that were here last night no longer exist, as well.
That's pretty depressing!
This is why we can't have nice things ;[
Ah, well, at least this entire thread didn't disappear...unlike a lot of other people's threads...
YAY!!! At least Thunder-chan is still here to keep me company
Hey guys. I'm feeling kinda down. It's Friday and it's almost 9 o'clock.
Boy said his finals ended today, and for me to call him. He made me promise to call him (it's kinda weird, isn't it? Isn't the boy supposed to make the calls? Oh, well...) and he said we'd do something. I called a couple of hours ago, and he didn't pick up. I left a message: "Hey, just wanted to see if you were free tonight and maybe wanted to do something. If you've already got plans, that's cool."
He hasn't called me back, and I'm probably worrying for no reason. We didn't say that we'd do something on Friday, but he's leaving for a trip on Sunday, and it'd be nice if he called to make plans for tomorrow...I don't even care if he has plans, it'd just be nice to know what's going on.
I don't want to call again, because I don't want to be too clingy/scare him away.
Even though I have work to do, I was looking forward to going out tonight. I dressed up for him and everything...
Oh, well. Time to do my work, I guess.
if you're thinking of pulling out the "stood-up" button...don't fret yet. I suppose he has a particular reason why he hasn't called you back. However, when he does...just ask him simply "how was your day?" going into inquisition mode just will make things worse
I'm just a 15 year old boy, but I know that Thunder-chan is a good person and that's what matters most!
WE LOVE YOU THUNDER-CHAN!!
Hey guys. I love you too, heh.
He texted me last night and said he was sleeping and so he missed my call, but when I texted him back asking if he wanted to do something, I didn't get a reply. I texted him once more and called him with no response, so I figured he went back to sleep and so I left a message that just said, "Call me, okay?"
He didn't call me as of yet today, it's 4 in the afternoon, he's going away tomorrow. Even though I know the ball's in his court, I really wanna see him, so I just called him. He didn't pick up. I didn't leave a message this time.
I am trying very very hard not to call him again, because I remember he said he hates clingy girls. I might have to delete his number from my phone or something to remove the temptation :[
...I guess it's back to the old drawing board, huh...
>>145
Aww, feh...sorry to hear it's not going so well ;_; He doesn't know what he's missing out on. Hopefully you'll hear from him before the day ends, at least, but still, bleh. What a meanie, leaving a nice girl like you waiting. Well, we know how awesome you are, even if he doesn't [yet!]
For now just try to distract yourself with other stuff, post here, play some games, anything to keep your mind occupied. It's hard, I know, I've been there before when I had huge crushes on girls.
To offer a different opinion than the majority: You sound like an annoying bitch who tries to dress interesting and act bubbly and "unique" to make up for the hideous black whole of nothing that is your personality.
js
>>147 and you like skinny-ass bitches who starve themselves to death and say "I look pretty like a celebrity"...screw u
anyways...Thunder-chan...it's about timing at this point of the game. I'm not quite sure myself what the deal is why he isn't responding...but "clinging" is a very possible issue. Still, you can't blame him for being busy and such. Don't delete his number though...you might hear from him again soon.
However...
This might be a good move for you...the next time you go on a date with him. How I put it...if you talk with him and tell him "you know I've been trying to get a hold of you"...I bet he will get annoyed at first. However, if you also tell him "i'm not trying to annoy you...you are my closest friend, and I really care (or "like" if you REALLY want to make a move) for you," then he might see some reasoning into why you want to hang out with him so much. Regardless...it's up to you whether to push the "clinging" button or not.
Hope he will go back to you soon...
hahaha, I know I have a personality. I can see why it might be tempting to stereotype me, though. Thanks for your thoughts, venomous anonymous!
Soccerfuu, I'm trying to keep my cool. I'm sure it's nothing and I'm overly worrying.
Still, it would be nice to send him a card that says, "Do you like me? Circle one...Yes/No/maybe."
^^^oops, that was me.^^^^
I think I'm also paranoid because I've never liked someone so much before. And because I feel like I've had experience with things that look like they'll go somewhere and then fail spectacularly.
while Thunder-chan's love adventure is on hold...anyone else trying out love via Thunder-chan's experience?
well i think it's getting more exiciting with this love story
@thunder-chan
i think deleting his no. is not the right idea who knows maybe he will contact you again. have more patience peace ^ ^\/
Sorry Thunder, but I think you did get a bit clingy. Play it cool and get your mind on something else like anime, or extreme water polo.
Theres nothing worse then being completely infatuated and then getting a bullet to the heart. I know I've felt it; and I bet there are others who have too.
So just play it cool madam.
do you draw or read frequently Thunder-chan?
I do, Soccerfuu! In fact, I just finished my portfolio today.
>>153, yeah, that was what I was afraid of. TRYING VERY HARD TO PLAY IT COOL. ( ˃ - ˂) I'll wait for him to call/text when he feels like it.
I don't really watch anime, though...tell me more about this extreme water polo of which you speak.
Sorry, that was me again.
let's see some of your artwork, Thunder-chan...it must look really sweet.
as 4 just playing it cool...just keep drawing or do something else. Maybe make something for him when he gets back...
Interesting thread ^^
Anyways goodlucks to all Thunder, Soccerfuu9, and all the 4-ch people in romance.
I am rooting for you all. -Kira
haha, maybe I'll post some artwork later.
Wouldn't making something for him be too much...? If I don't want to come off as crazy and clingy...
NEwayZ I have an update. So...I didn't touch the phone for days after the last call, and you know what? It worked, guys. He texted me this morning asking me what I was doing...I asked him, aren't you away already? And he responded, "Nah, I decided to stay one more day."
Me: (internally) GREAT SUCCESS!!
We made plans to do lunch. It was kinda awkward when we met up, like every time I thought it was a moment to take his hand we'd separate or something or he'd walk faster and I'd miss it, haha. ( ._.;;)
He's also poor this time around, so he didn't offer to pay. I knew this, but I wanted to offer to pay for him to show him I could do something nice for him, too (is this a dating faux pas?) but when we ordered at the sandwich shop and I tried to order together he told the girl, "separate..." and looked at me. I hope he wasn't offended that it looked like I expected him to pay for me. I smiled and said, "I can take care of you too, you know..." And he very adamantly refused -haha, I hope this didn't insult him as well.
Well, we walked to the movies again and we were in the city, so I kept on getting shuffled about by the crowd, so he finally said, "here," and offered me his arm.
（ ´ー｀）
Anyway, we ended up going to see Speed Racer. (We really loved it!) I put my hand on top of his during the movie, and again he readjusted it so that it was more comfortable. At the end of the movie, I said, "did you know, that 'go' in Japanese means five, so it would be Go Mach Go Go?"
He laughed about it and then said he didn't.
So then I said, "and there's another word in Japanese that I like...my Japanese best friend taught it to me."
HIM: ??
Me: ...deeto. (デート...forgive the romanization if it's wrong...de-to?)
Him: which is...?
Me: Date.
Him: Ah. -laughs- I see.
Me: So...when you get back...you'll take me on a デート, right?
Him: -smiling- Yes.
!!!!
GREAT SUCCESS.
(And to those of you who are wondering, yes, that was sickeningly rehearsed in my head for a long time ahead of time...)
He had to catch his bus right after the movie, but he took the time to walk me back to where I needed to be. He gave me a hug when he left, and I think he wanted to kiss me on the cheek, but we were in a public place.
He said, "Mark your calendar, I'll be back on the 20th!"
I'm happy. THANKS GUYS! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME.
（ ´ー｀）
congrats Thunder-chan with the huge upgrade!! Yet...this story is still going on. Like I said...this isn't a big bang...it's just a slow progression into a girl's love life story. I'm just happy to be a part of this...
awwww that's soo sweet!
>I'm happy. THANKS GUYS! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME.
NO U!
thats great now the story continues ^ ^
its nice to see this thread with good updates hope they could become real couples
Well what you're currently doing is called dating... You'll start feeding him any minute. Now the thing with him not paying is weird. I am a guy and I pay even if a girl is rich (I am far from rich unfortunately). I know that sometimes that may make girls uncomfortable, but seriously most of the time guys should pay, unless we date money-sucking bitches whom I wouldn't in the first place.
Now the other thing... Too many calls, messages, voice-mails on Saturday. And he comes out of the blue and texts you like nothing happened. Some sort of play if you ask me. For some reason he seems to like keeping you desperate... It's really irresponsible of him to act that way, but hey it works with most girls...
Good luck and keep us updated.
Actually, my friend expressed this concern as well, since he classifies himself as the "Alpha Male" type, yet every single move has been on my part. (There was a deleted post where I was the first one to take his hand). The first two times we went out, he asked me to call him, and the second time, he said, "Call me. You'll call me right? You promise?"
...he's never the one calling me first.
My friend said to watch out that I don't become his "backup," where he knows that I like him a lot, but he only sees me when he feels like it, and he might be seeing other girls too...
But I tell myself she's overthinking it.
Well there are guys like that. Intelligent guys, smooth-talkers who make you believe every possible compliment they make... The last thing I want is brag about it, but I am one of them so I know my type I guess. We are capable of seducing any girl we feel like (and I am just average when it comes to attractiveness, plain face)... We use our intelligence, extensive knowledge of social trivia and many other "tricks" to make girls we like believe that we're like that only with them. In reality, guys like us are usually in that open-dating scheme with at least three girls at a time. We're virtually incapable of pure love or at least we don't believe in it until it happens...
I am saying all this not to bring your hopes down but to take care because you might end up hurt. Despite your quirks (we all have them anyway) you seem nice and a bit naive, just the kinda girl he grabs for dinner... Of course, I might be wrong, but it doesn't hurt to be a bit cautious... One positive thing is that other girls who he is potentially seeing now are in pretty much the same situation...
I read all your posts and you said somewhere that he's authoritative and when he tells you something he makes you feel like every thing he says is a fact. Next thing he will start saying something about you and start controlling you in a way. He already does that... But, if you are submissive by nature and you don't care as long as you're by his side then there are good news -> he likes you, even as a backup... Although, I am pretty sure that you have some dignity and you want get to the point of literally begging him to stay with you...
I think that for now it's best to play along and take a rational look at his behavior. That will give you more answers than all of us 4channers together.
I am rooting for you!
>>166 as much as I want to say you gave good advice on the last sentence...i love how you advertise yourself as a "player." Let's try not to brag...ok?
anyways, thunder-chan...i understand the feeling of being "a shoulder to lean on." However, if what you say is true about yourself...then he's not getting all that you are. being cautious like wat >>166 said is only IF you feel that either a) you feel he's not into you or b) you're desperate. despite that, i'm thinking you are fine with the situation; it's just a phase where you think "is he really thinking about me...should i even care still?"
i can tell you this...when my girl and I were first starting to aim towards the dating tree, I ALWAYS had to call her (she didn't have a care in the world why I kept calling her). It took a couple of months before she decided to call me and say "I just want to say hi." That's the first part. Don't fret; it's still early...it's only the end when you hear "I can't see you in my life"
Hey, I haven't checked this thread for a while.
What's going on?
quick re-cap of the Thunder-chan story:
1) Thunder-chan feels insecure about sexuality and about present crush
2) Comes to 4ch for help, and gets "resourceful" advice
3) Posts images of herself that made guys want to have her
4) Went out with guy for the first time
5) Hung out a couple of times with the guy, occasionally holding hands
6) Boy leaves for wherever place that was, making Thunder-chna sad
7) She questions boy's intention with the dating situation...
8) Posters congrats her like New Year's Day
9) Hears good and bad advice from friends and 4ch posters
10) Thunder-chan get to go to lunch with boy
11) To be continued...
She was obviously raped and killed.
If anyone finds the body, just... Just take some pictures of it, okay?
Bye Thundey
That's because you don't have proper spyware detection. I'm sorry, but, your computer is infected.
>>176
Maybe they have a proper web browser instead.
Oh wow, I'm really reminded of Densha Otoko for some reason. Haha...anyway, great job, Thunder-chan. Just be careful 'cause >>166 could be right.
sorry, but i'm bumping this thread because right now...i'm like Thunder-chan when she had to wait for her crush until the 20th (which just passed). I'm in another county from my gf...and I'm sad that I'm not with her because it the first time in a while we're REALLY apart (we graduated from college Saturday). However, unlike my past experiences where I thought "is she going to cheat on me; will she even call me; does she even care that we're still going out" were the reasons for feeling anxious...I realized that I love this girl too much to just think she'll do something stupid. In other words...I trust her a lot more and I'm waiting to come home for her.
Sorry to rain on your thread, Thunder-chan. However, take this advice whenever you don't see your "boy" for a few moments or days: if you continue to love him more than yesterday, then it means you are involving your trust more towards him. You can take our advice one way or another, but all I can say is if you continue to love him...then the dream you are trying to achieve is just within your grasp.
Hey guys.
It's past the 20th, as mentioned, and still no word from him. I gave in and texted him - just once, mind you - on the evening of the 20th, just to let him know I was in town in case he was back. (I was, for reasons completely unrelated to him, I was seeing my friends).
No response, and no word since he left.
I'm a little depressed I guess, but I'm sure it's nothing...
If he doesn't contact me in a week I guess I'll worry. But until then, I'll keep my chin up and I encourage you all to do the same in your own affairs!
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement, everybody. And thanks for your support, soccerfuu...I guess we all think crazy things sometimes, huh.
That sucks, Thunder-chan. I have to admit that I'm getting a bit worried right now...Anyway, keep your chin up and wait it out! We'll provide support for ya!
apparently...we're all crazy in love with this thread Thunder-chan!! right guys?
lets hope this would turn into a happy ending
I wonder if he's called yet!?!?!
lol Thunder, since you have shown your thighs on those pics, you've got a lot of interest in this thread suddenly :) btw, I didn't see anything wrong with your weight. I know you mentioned that you have to lose weight. Maybe it's me, I don't like too skinny girls :)
Anywayz, I hope everything works out for you
New here. Just wanted to drop that:
Hey guys. I'm so happy you're all reading my thread! I really appreciate every single comment and everybody who reads and doesn't comment, even. But I wonder if we are coming to an end...and not the happy one that I first posted about after I wrote about our successful "date," either. (That post is now deleted, but I took his hand and he continued to hold it for the rest of the time we were together. It filled me with a huge amount of hope and optimism.)
Anyway, this is probably going to go over the character limit. But basically, I'm kind of depressed now.
I knew I said I would give it a few days, but today I gave in and texted him - just once- I know enough not to send too many texts or be overly affectionate in them, but I just wanted to invite him to the aquarium with my friend and me, since my friend is leaving for Japan soon. (The boy and I had talked about going to the aquarium before, and possibly going with my friend.)
No response.
So basically, it's been almost two weeks since we've spoken in any way. It's the longest I've gone without communicating with him since I've met him. (Even when he was sick and couldn't see me, I called him and we chatted on the phone.)
I'm really wondering what's going on...Like, if you like a girl, you would want her to know, right? Especially if he claims to be the "Alpha Male" type. He said he'd call. He practically promised.
And we've text-flirted before, so it's not like he doesn't text at all...
Although, he has said that he's "sketchy" with the phone, and that he sometimes doesn't pick up/respond within a reasonable amount of time...
Part of me knows I am being particularly paranoid because this is a case of I like him > he likes me.
In my more paranoid, crazy moments, I think he has been playing me all along, and he's possibly seeing another girl.
In my overly forgiving moments, I think something's happened to his phone.
In my cynical and bitter moments, I think maybe he just doesn't care, period.
I'm especially bitter right now because this shit always, always happens to me. Every time I think I might have a romantic prospect with potential, something that could possibly lead to a loving, long-term relationship (the ultimate goal, of course), something happens to ruin it. Life's not a fairytale.
And I think I should give up on this childish concept of "love" altogether.
Don't mind me, I'm just being a bitter, poisonous single.
＿|￣|..............○
＿|￣|
I know I may be getting ahead of myself here, but I need to prepare for the worst, right?
Anyway, thanks everybody for reading and caring. It really heartens me to know that some guys like my type since I'm feeling particularly inadequate in some way. Not ______ enough, or something.
I hope everybody else is having better luck than this Thunder-girl!
Hope you'll feel better soon. Being single is not that bad...
Sorry to hear that, but this leads me to my suggestion:
Don't text or email. Call. The problem with text messages, emails, and, to a lesser extent, IM, is that they can be ignored, and the receiver can pretend to be away, not listen/notice it, or whatever. However, with a call, he needs to give you a reply immediately, and explicitly acknowledge what you've told him. It's the same for business. With elusive people, you have to be a bit more pushy and inquisitive.
eh why giving it up when its getting good already dont you think something happened to him?
I agree with >>190. Give him a call instead of a text, since texts aren't really as direct. Don't give up yet, Thunder.
Been reading this thread for a while but don't give up on him if you truly dig him a lot. Like previous replies suggest, call him to see what's up.
Hope everything's cool, Thunder. fingers crossing
>>OP
This is >>165 again.
I kind of expected this behavior on his side. But Thunder, don't for a moment look down on yourself. Although I don't want to speak in everybody's name, I honestly believe you're the type of girl most 4-ch guys would like to date, and probably more than that = have a serious relationship with you. The way one speaks/writes gives them away, and you're somebody with very pure personality, which is virtually non-existent today. Don't create an image of yourself based on one careless and irresponsible guy's behavior. And let's not be too negative... Maybe he had something important and who knows if he's in the town even, so it's not like he avoids you necessarily. If you overthink it like this, you'll just hurt yourself.
I agree with the rest of guys here, don't just give up and walk away like that. Give him a call. Be true to yourself and him. You know yourself better than us. If you think you are a strong person who is able to accept a defeat and overcome it, then you are ready to deal with this situation. There's nothing wrong with opening up about your feelings once in a while. You might tell him that you see him as more than just a friend. If he rejects that, then big deal.. didn't work out... Happens to everybody... If he makes fun of you (for some reason I have such an impression of him) then you were losing your time with him, in the first place... I know it's hard to deal with love or profound liking but there is something you have to learn for your own good. You MUST save your emotional energy for somebody that deserves it. Otherwise you will meet the right person for you (sooner or later) empty-hearted. Sorry for tl;dr. I definitely didn't want to sound preachy...
CALL HIM!
Rooting for you.
We're all rooting for ya!!!
if we had the opportunity, we would steal this crush's #, dial him up, and vocally interrogate him about his feelings for Thunder-chan...or we could also steal his info about where he is and become the Spanish Inquisition.
I agree with soccerfuu9!
Has anybody got a REALLY bright light bulb and a chair I could strap him down to?
Perhaps a pair of pliers or something?
Oh no, not the comfy chair!
Hey guys. You are all really wonderful...I know I keep saying that, but damn, you all know how to make a girl smile, even when I was feeling so ＿|￣|○
Anyway, I know everybody was pressing for a phone call, but I was wondering if his phone was messed up, and so I sent him a facebook message about the aquarium. He responded a couple of hours later, saying that his phone was being 'sketchy.' I was like, "What does that mean? Like it's broken? XD" I'm going to go ahead and believe him, of course, (even though the paranoid part of me wonders if it's an excuse) and he said that his research project has started, and he's working 50hrs/week, but he'll see if he can try and get some free time this weekend. I messaged him back about what his schedule is like this summer (and about the phone) and he hasn't responded yet. That was...a couple of days ago?
Anyway, I've been thinking, and I can see now that this is a case of I like him> he likes me. Which isn't a bad thing, but like -- clearly I'm not a priority in his life, even though I have such a huge crush on him in mine. So really...I need to just chill the fuck out. He doesn't care about me, so I shouldn't care so much, right? It's just hard, haha...＿|￣|
All my girl friends are saying I should give up on him, but I thought that over too, since it's a case of my pride vs. my heart, FIGHT. They say things like, "you're too good for him," "no guy should ever treat you that way" - but if I go that route, I just end up self-righteous and alone. I appreciate this support, but it's not like I will settle down with just anybody. I really thought that he was everything I was looking for (looks, smarts, sense of humour) and even though I see that he's flawed, he's still worth pursuing, in my eyes.
The way I see it, (dorky talk ahead) relationships are kind of like playing a game, right? And now I've just entered hard mode. I know I have a chance, and the right stats, i just have to beat down his HP until he likes me the same...XD; If I throw down my controller, it's not even GAME OVER. It's just quitting. You can't beat a game that way.
Did that make sense?
I know you guys hate it when girls "play games," so I don't want to do anything manipulative, and I really do like him...But I really wonder how he sees me, from his guy's POV.
Thunder OUT, keep on rawking, you guyz!
oh yeah, 200 GET
you know what though...if it really gets to your nerves, you can always approach him...up-front-and-personal...and demand what is going on between you two. It sounds awful and disgraceful, but I can say from experience that as a worse-case scenario, I feel it relieves you of the pressure of "does he/he not like me" feeling and just letting you move on. It happened to me once...and if i did not say it to a past crush and she denied me, I wouldn't be dating the wonderful girlfriend I have today.
otherwise...patience is a virtue; just let it flow. I feel even if this fails...we'll still be here for you.
Agreed. Just go with the flow.
Hang in there! :)
Poor Thunder Ch-
AAAAAAH THE FIRE TRUCK HAS STOPPED OUTSIDE AND THE LIGHTS ARE FLASHING! AAAH FIRE!
I hope it doesn't spread to my house!
This is your fault!!!
Oh it's gone now.
As I was saying:
Poor Thunder Chan.
>>200
Considering your looks and tastes, and how you're calling him for a date, I'm starting to think he must be gay.
> relationships are kind of like playing a game, right?
Actually, that's why they often fail. The average girl likes to play with guys' feelings. I hate those stupid run-and-catch games, all they do is fuck guys up and often make these girls miss a potentially good guy who gets confused, depressed or pissed off and forgets her.
You, on the other hand, seem more direct, which is good and honest; in other words, the right thing to do. If you think you don't have much of a chance by now, then perhaps you could give it one last, definite try, as >>202 said, to ask him up front what he thinks about you and if he's interested on a relationship. Maybe he is, and in the worst case that he says he's not, you'll have an easier time forgetting about him.
Would you like us to kidnap some pretty boys for you? You can pick and choose which one's you wanna keep. :)
>>207...that actually makes you feel bad. That's like saying "I look stupid...so here are better guys you should go out with." I'm not saying that's not her resolve...but she's still hooked to this guy...
are you feeling better Thunder-chan?
>>207 why do you need them when there is.... me!
Flexes muscles choooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
>>206
Yeah...I kind of fail at playing games, anyway...I have more of a guy mind, I guess. You're either attracted or you're not, you're either interested or you're not. You're right, I am a direct person.
I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I guess I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants to toy with me anyway. He's clearly not OMG PERFECT or any kind of "prince", and once I look at him realistically, it's easier to start picking myself up and prepare for moving on.
Screw the boys, let's go chase girls together.
>>Soccerfuu - I actually was feeling pretty bad, and I swore to myself I would not come back and update this thread again, but reading these replies made me smile. To answer your question, yes, I am feeling better, and it's thanks to you guys.
Well, at least AmazingHappyBoy is amazingly happy...
Also, I'm curious at who is tripcoding Lightning? （*ﾟーﾟ）
You not what you need, Thunder?
I big, fat joint to smoke.
A huge one, the size of a very large... mobile phone!
It will clear your head!
Oops I said "not" when i meant "know"
>>213
Maybe you need to smoke less. ( ﾟヮﾟ)
Oh! and an update for you guys, we will see if it is the last real update on this thread or not.
I did get tired of waiting around for a response, so I sent him a message that put the ball fully into his court.
Basically, it said, "Sorry I'm sending you all these messages...I guess I'm used to pursuing, because I'm used to dating girls.
Anyway, you seem pretty busy right now, so why don't you contact me when you wanna see me?
再見~"
再見 is especially useful, since it's used to mean "goodbye," but literally it means "until we meet again" or "hope to see you again." If he doesn't like me at all, then I'll have my answer, whatever it may be.
>Anyway, you seem pretty busy right now, so why don't you contact me when you wanna see me?
This is pretty much the best you can do. I went on a date with a girl once [my only date evar, and it even went well, or so I thought] who then pretty much turned flaky afterwards, so I just told her exactly that and, as I suspected, never heard from her again. Hopefully that won't be the case with you though.
Also,
>>210
>Screw the boys, let's go chase girls together.
Don't give up on guys just because of how one behaves. D: I'm sure I don't need to tell you that most of the guys in this thread would love to get to know you.
But that's not saying much (;_;)
if you know where this guy lives, why do you go to him Thunder-chan?
New story: i came back from a school trip, and I was waiting for my girlfriend in front of the school. Unfortunately, she arrived with urgent business with someone's friend, and that friend's grandfather was in the car (I'll explain why that was important later). When I tried to just talk to her...she was running off quickly...and just when she was about to leave, she told me "sorry, I got to go...goodbye." I was in shambles. I cried for a while...thinking I got dumped. Eventually I went home...and I was very depressed.
A few hours later, I was lying down when my mother answered the door. Apparently, it was my girlfriend...out of breath. She pulled me out to my backyard, but I was silent. She then told me why she brushed me off. Apparently, the grandfather was FUCKING STUPID about any girls (this is Mexican culture) dating other guys, and that he saw us hugging or kissing, he would blab it to the entire neighborhood in her city (we were hiding the relationship at the time). When she got home from school, she thought it wasn't a big deal at first. But as time passed, she said that she had a huge throbbing in her heart, and basically told her sister (even though she was against it) she was taking a bus and heading to my town. My girlfriend got lost, but eventually RAN to my house...and that's where we stand. She cried after explaining...and after realizing how stupid I was for doubting her...I just hugged her for the rest of the night. It was one of those moments where I just felt like "this girl might be all mine one day..."
So Thunder-chan, all I'm saying is to keep your head up still. Sure, the chances may look slim...but like I said before...texting/calling isn't going to help you out. If you really want to get this off your chest (and I don't think saying you dated girls was a good idea to start off), YOU HAVE TO SEE HIM FACE TO FACE!! If he turns away, then you'll know. However, only time will tell how emotions will sway. One day, you'll might think this was just "a hardcore crush" that just came and gone...OR...this guy would finally realize how lucky he is to have you as a great friend. In any case, if it ends out on the downside, don't ignore him; continue the friendship. Ending a friendship would only hurt your self-esteem more.
I love you all guys...but we have to give it up to Thunder-chan...she deserves all the help and praise she needs.
>if you know where this guy lives, why do you go to him Thunder-chan?
because that's called stalking...? XD
Your story is very sweet, soccerfuu, but it sounds like you guys had a relationship before that event. I can't even get that far... ( -_-;)
I know I do have to see him face to face, since every time face to face he's been like a dream, but I don't want to be throwing myself at him, either. I admit, the dating girls part might not have been smart, but I was a little bit upset and I wanted to imply that me chasing him down all the time was treating him like a girl, especially if he's supposed to be a "dominant Alpha male" type.
But you're right, only time will tell from this point on...I also really wonder if it was ever a friendship in the first place, or if we were dating from the start. Blarghh. So many questions, no answers.
Yeah, although I forgot my previous trip code (very forgetful here). Anyway, lurking through.
日本語でおk
>>219 Thunder-chan...it isn't considered stalking if you just knock on his door (my God girl...you think I was saying "pop up in front of him and demand for his answer). I mean...you did go to house before...rite?
If not...then yea...throw that advice away. Damn...the waiting game is so irritating!!
you're going to hate me for saying this... but, why not move on?
Hey, 2x dude from earlier in the thread. I don't remember the exact twenty it was and as the thread was deleted... well nevermind.
I'm sorry for you Thunder... I hope your last shot gives something, I really do. But if nothing happens, I think you must prepare yourself to move on; and before you start getting all anxious again, I must tell you something; move on with a huge smile on your face. Don't let that get you down. Instead, use all that disappointment and frustration and channel it as a strenght, okay?
Oh, and I hope you'll still hang out around here whatever happens. You're kinda the cheerful type and give out good advice. Well sometimes at least :p
>>221
あたしは 日本語 が できません。（｡；-；）
Again, soccerfuu...we're not on those terms. I think it'd be creepy if I just went to his place without telling him first, especially since the ball is in his court now.
The feelings are slowly fading...if he wants to be with me, by now he'll have to win me back.
I don't hate you. I think this is wise advice. （#・-・）
I think you're absolutely right. Everybody here has been really supportive and really wonderful, and while I was hoping to be able to tell a nice romance story to everyone, it's true - not all of us can be Densha Otoko. But I value everybody who's shown their support here more than this guy who just seems to dick me around.
I have definitely come to love /love/ so I will definitely be here no matter what. （＾ヮ＾*）I just don't always tripcode when I'm not in this thread ;D I don't want people to think I'm just here to attention-whore...