>>6 Roughly from this so far, people find it online using networking sites, through friends and work. Confident in their own ability and still learning, while being independant and stay in contact with their friends.

Thanks for commenting and I agree that I went abit overboard with it, lol.

other note, I actaully dont jump into conclusions without thinking, this is simply based on experience, I also give everything and everyone a try which makes me easy to approach and one of the first people to do stuff.
I actaully want to move on, but every time I try, I get Nightmares and wont go away, I cant wake up from it until its over and when I do wake up, its a "falling sensation" landing back to consciousness in a body of sweat and its been happening more frequently now to the point I been late to college a few times for it, finding time for going to the gym harder, had to cancel going for lunch with a friend and other stuff, Need this to go away.

Your right, Life around does goes on, without me or you or anyone else, it doesnt wait for anyone, it makes no difference whether I am dead or not.

I know that what I want, I can get on my own in terms of achievement, why are you talking about my achievement, I dont fail at anything the only question I need to ask myself is when, in that term, if anything I have the 'Jack of all Trades' I can do pretty much everything pretty naturally, But Achievement and Love are 2 different things.

I am forced to go through this Nightmare, does it look like I actaully had the option for it to disappear? if it did, I wouldnt have a 'main' problem in the first place. From what I can see, I have 2 options, one is to find someone I care about, and the second would be to end it all, the easy way since physical pain never bothers me.

Not only that but I decided that I plan die in my late 40's If I dont find someone I care about, no matter how successful I become since I dont see the point in living so long without a purpose besides, what is the point in being an old man, who is going down from his prime and health. If I wanted to be remembered, it would be when I was young, not when I am an old man that gets respect from his age or parental status but rather the work achieved and stand against what traditions I been brought up with. Live a Short and Meaningful life, rather than a Long and Meaningless one.

What is your view of an "Asian Upbringing?" and what is your story on it?

And Shit, I noticed I did it again.