Sexually molested by older brother. Should I tell to my family? (176)

74 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-06 14:32 ID:0+N/xWYw

I was molestered when I was 5 at school by other students my age but I gues they didn't really know what they were doing and neither did I but I know it wasn't "normal" as we alway did it in secret.. Thankfully my family never molestered me but my dad did beat me badly and even tried to kill me a couple of times until I left the family house when I was 21.
The sad thing is that when I was around 8 I started to molest my two younger brothers and sister who were younger than me..
This went on until I was 21 (my sister was 13) and now I feel sick to the stomach about what happened! I have tried to discuss it with them and one of my brothers who is 4 years younger than me has forgiven me which means so much! My other brother who is 6 years younger than me won't have anyting to do with me and my sister said she will never speak to me again.
I feel so bad that words can't discribe and even after speaking with my mum about it and having therapy I don't think I will ever get over it as I think about every day and feel extremely depressed!!
I believe I'm a good person and really care about others and to think this happened the shame and guilt I feel will never make up to my sibblings what happened and I wish I could do something for them, not for me but just so they know I do care about them a lot and wish it never had happened..
In a lot of ways I think if I just committed suicide it might help in some way as I'll never get over this and I don't think they ever will!

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