I think your story is great, sorry you feel so lonely.

I also think getting a computer saved my life. A lot of my middle school and high school friends drank and did drugs, but early on I was never really tempted to join them because there were so many incredible things I could do with my computer. If I spent my time on the internet, I could make new friends, build websites and learn new things. It always seemed like a much better time investment.

I went through a brief period in high school where I did drugs. My main motivation was loneliness and curiosity. It didn't last long, but around that period I made lot of bad decisions and felt horrible about myself. I even contemplated suicide around that time.

Eventually, I realized I was just in a vicious cycle of bad behavior and knew I wanted to change. Once again, I went back to my computer and started to teach myself things. I learned how to be less shy. I joined some forums dedicated to self-improvement. I changed how I acted in school and started to make more friends IRL. Not long after, I started programming again and started my own business while still in school.

Thanks for sharing your story OP. I'll keep this thread open in a tab and check back periodically if you ever come back and want to chat.

Same goes to anyone else who wants to share a story or talk. Let's fight our loneliness together.