( LΦ`) hello kids! Be serious please.
(EΝE)@I can't, I'm Roebucks!
( LΦ`) Shave and a haircut, two bits
Please do not make two threads with the same purpose. Please use the search function for atleast an hour before creating a new thread.
(EΝE) Grandpa, shouldn't this be part 4? Or at least 3½?
( ί ί) I claim this thread in the name of mittens!
( LΦ`) such grazen will not be tolerated in here this thread.
@@@l@@@@@
@@iQ_j@@@@
@ iQQj@@@
@i QQ j@@@@
@<@EΝE>@@Annyonghaseyo, my name is Squeeks-nida and I claim
@iΒ@@ Β@@@this thread in the name of Corea!
@b b@|@@@@@
@i_QjQj
( LΦ`) I'll wait till you all go away
<@EΝE> I am not going to leave my own thread!
<EΝE@> Oh, another new thread! BRB!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what happen to Part 1 and Part 2 of ( LΦ`) Grandpa [SANE]?
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
( LΦ`) I'll wait
(Ν) SPARTACUS WILL NEVA DIE
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(E`E)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
( LΦ`)
(EΦE)
( ί ί) !
(MΚL) ?
i@ίDίj
(OLΦLO)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
(EΝE)
( LΦ`) The grey-ey'd morn smiles on the frowning night,
Chequering the eastern clouds with streaks of light;
And flecked darkness like a drunkard reels
(EΝE) Ay, those attires are best:--but, gentle nurse,
I pray thee, leave me to myself to-night;
For I have need of many orisons
To move the heavens to smile upon my state,
Which, well thou know'st, is cross and full of sin.
(EΝE) Sanepa, how do you pronounce pwned?
( LΦ`) You don't. And if I ever hear you say "Lawl" I'll have you retroactively aborted. Your mother still listens to my advice, unlike some people I know!
(EΝE) lal
( LΦ`) Junior, one of the biggest obstacles in the search for truth is other people, especially those who make fun of themselves.
i@MnLj Hm, the fridge over here isn't half bad.
( LΦ`) The last of my thread goes down with the rest of those intelligent contributors of dqn.
i@MnLjNo sense letting all of this food go to waste, then. Pardon me...
(EΝE)
(EΝE) I sure am off the ball today. Oh well, 50.
( LΦ`) If you ever are in a discombobulated state, do state your perplexion junior, I'm here for you.
(EΝE) I downgraded my Grandpa verion so I can use homebrew and emulators on it again.
( LΦ`) >C:___
(EΝE) >C:format grandpa /q
hoi
( LΦ`) ACCESS DENIED
( LΦ`) >C:___
( LΦ`) I'm write-protected, you nub.
(EΝE) I TAKE OUT MY HOLE PUNCH AND then FORMAT C: /q /u
(ίΝί) Put me in the air and my speed will lead;
All in the shine like a miracle weed.
I just won't stop wit' them treasures with me;
Said it before, I was born to be.
( LΦ`) What's a hole punch going to do to a C: drive, kiddo?
( LΦ`) ...
(EΝE) ...
(EΝE) ... I like the other Grandpa thread better.
( LΦ`) Comedy is only as good as the straight man, Junior. You have to do a better job of lobbing them over the plate.
(EΝE) Grandpa, who am us anyway?
( LΦ`) We am legion for us is heaps
( LΦ`) ......
(EΝE) Punch holes in it!
( LΦ`) Sonny, is this some imported meme from a very stupid imageboard ? I should put Family Guard Pro Web Filter on your computer.
(EΝE) Sanepa, someone in the "Hi kids!!" thread offered me candy to get in his car. What should I do?
( LΦ`) Have you accepted his offer yet?
(EΝE) I'm holding out for full dental.
( LΦ`) Dammit, I was denied my 1000get!
(EΝE) You were ripped off, Grandpa.
(EΝE) Sanepa, another stupid thread got to 1000. Not only that, there hasn't been a single post in this thread since the beginning of part 5! What should we do?!
( LΦ`) Keep under the radar.
( ί ί)
(EΝE)
( LΦ`)
( EΦE)
<€MΝL>
<€MΝL> kekeke
<€MΝL> nida
(EΝE)
(@₯ิm₯ิ)
( ί ί)
Π*ί°ί)
Π*ί°ί) So one day I --
( LΦ`) SHHH!!!
Π*ί-ί) ...
( EΦE)
( άtά)
Π*ί°ί) So one day I --
( LΦ`) SHHH!!!
Π*ί-ί) ...
Π*ί°ί) But you said..
( LΦ`) What is it with kids these days? They wait 50 days and STILL don't finish their sentences.
Π*ί°ί) So one day I --
( LΦ`) SHHH!!!
Π*ί-ί) ...goddammit.
( ί ί) Grandpa, how come your Christmas gifts suck, unlike those from my other grandpa? They look like they came from the dollar store!
( LΦ`) Dollar store? What do you think I am, made of money?
(EΝE) Hey Grandpa! Remember this thread?
(EΝE) Old isn't it? From 1993.
( E-E) Oh the insanity!
( LΦ`) Who were you, again?
( LΦ`) What was that? I guess someone snuck in here...
(EΝE) I dont know Grandpa. I guess some loser somehow wandered into Dqn.
( E-E) Losers have been wandering DQN for years now, and BOY DOES IT FUCKING SHOW
( E-E) Yeah especially now that you're here Beady Eyes
( E-E) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL I'M A FUCKING COMEDY GENIUS WATCH OUT HERE COMES THE FLAME TRAIN WOOOO WOOO FUCKING WOOOOOO
(EΝE) I think he's a bit upset about his thread getting vandalized.
(EΝE) Or euphoric.
(EΝE) Or just plain crazy. Heh.
( E-E) KAWAII! SUGOI DESU NE???
(⊺D๏) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads". I do believe this is a character thread, so I would like to bump it. That is why my name is "Mr. Likes To Bump Character Threads".
( LΦ`) SHHH!!!
(EΝE) It didn't? Guess I'll have to try again.
(EΝE) I think I fixed the bug in the flux capacitor, Grandpa! It should work properly now!
( LΦ`) Junior, today at 10:04 A.M., LIGHTNING DID STRIKE THIS CLOCK TOWER.
( E-E) No it didn't, you liar.
( E-E) That's because you're so addle-headed that it took 211 days for you to finally register my reply.
(EΝE) I'm not whatever-headed, and it seemed like 211 to me. Give or take.
( LΦ`) I like the look of that pole.
( EΦE) Yes, I also like the look of that mustachioed Pole.
( E ΅E) How dare you proclaim yourself sane, Grandpa? Only a certified Psypa can do that.
( LΦ`) What are you, some kinda pokeymon?
ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!ACK!! ahhhhk ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack ack?
ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!
ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ãck ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!
ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK!
ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ACK!???!ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack?
ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!!
ack ack? ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!ACK!! ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!ACK!!
ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack?
ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack? ack ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! ack ack AHHHHK AAAAAHHH AAAHHHHH ACK! ACK!???!
ACK!! ahhhhk ack ack ack? ACK AAAACKKK!!!! ACK ACK ACHHHHHK ack ackkkkkkk!!!! ack ack?
( ) The hell? 'ssif I can do som'n like that right away!? I'll kill you, you bastard! Bwa, bwa, bwaawkkl.
( LΦ`) Somebody's been reading too much Doonesbury.
( ^Φ-) Ackpfffftt
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) is the founder of the elitist superstructure. He formed the Elitist Superstructure to honor soldiers like ( LΦ`). He recruited ( E-E) and ( ₯ิm₯ิ), and eventually (EΝE), ( ί ί) and (L^ิΦOิ) become members temporarily.
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) becomes corrupt and clones (EΝE) without his consent. (EΝE) finds out and leaves the Elitist Superstructure. ( ί ί) and (L^ิΦOิ) become intent on destroying the Elitist Superstructure. Instead of recruiting more members (@₯ิΦ₯ิ) uses copypasta to form the rest of the Elitist Superstructure members so that his system became automated by dumb memes
-Cracky-chan Dies from cancer after her nanomachines are disabled
-Squeeks dies after his nanomachines are disabled, then DADDYCOOL finishes him off
( ί ί) dies trying to save (◕ ◡ ◕)' body in a fire because she believed (L^ิΦOิ) was really taken over by i@MnLj. ( EΦE) tries to save her but his face gets burnt.
-( LΦ`) IS STILL ALIVE. How the gently caress?
-( LΦ`) dies by deliberately breathing in the mutated VIPQuality ( EΦE) was injected into him by (,,#ίtί). He saves ( EΦE)'s life by appearing before ( EΦE) shoots himself. And thus revealing that he is still alive and confirming (L^ิΦOิ)'s true intention.
( LΦ`) kills (@₯ิΦ₯ิ) at the graveyard. (@₯ิΦ₯ิ) was practically dead already, he was just alive in a physical sense at that point.
-(L^ิΦOิ) dies [i@MnLj was never alive or possessing (L^ิΦOิ) bwahahahaha] (L^ิΦOิ) and ( ί ί) planned to take down the Elitist Superstructure from the beginning. (L^ิΦOิ) reveals that he was a "doppelganger" of i@MnLj to throw off the Elitist Superstructire.
-( EΦE) lives but has 3 months to live, so he goes off to live the remainder of his life in solitude.
(EΝE) TL;DR
( EΦE) Don't worry, I'm always here to listen!
( LΦ`) And I'm always here to tell long rambling stories without a purpose.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what did you do at the Siege of Mafeking?
(EΝE) Is that all!? You didn't Maffick? At Mafeking? I'm astounded!
DQN FANTASY
(EΝE) is FIGHTER.
( LΦ`) is BLK BELT.
( ί ί) is WHT MAGE.
( EΦE) is RED MAGE.
TOGETHER THE FOUR WARRIORS OF DQN WILL DEFEAT i@MnLjWHO HAS TAKEN
@@@@ @@@^άR@@@@DQN-KUN AS HOSTAGE. WILL THE FOUR
@@@@ @@/ijij @@WARRIORS OF DQN PREVAIL??
@@@@ @@|@Δͺͺͺ²/@@@
@@@@ @@| /MΖΖL@@@@
@@@@ @ //@| |@ @@@@
@@@@ @t@ .t@ @
( E-E) I propose a Fellowship of DQN.
( E-E) You can have my pills.
( E-E) But remember, one does not simply trip into the Secret Area of VIP Posters.
(EΝE)Α-̾ Hey grandpa I started smoking
(₯ิ_₯ิ)Α-̾ Poseur! You don't possess the intellect for accessorized smoking.
( LΦ`) Off-camera, I'm a desperately unhappy man.
(EΝE)Α-̾ Of course you are, Grandpa
(-Ν-)-̾ inhale
(EΝE)Α-̾ We all are.
(EΝE)@@@~ ̾-
@@Όc
(EΝE) Who are you to call me a kid?
ΏΏ @@@@@
Έ;;;;;(X-X )::Έ;;;;;ΈlP| ......
(EΝE) Yeah, that's what I thought.
( LΦ`) You won't hear this often but good job.
But don't go and get any ideas now, kiddo.
@@ Θ__Θ@ Ώ
@@i,,LΦ`)c
@@@Όc))ΝE) Ow! Ow! What the Ow!
@@@@
@@@@@| _
@@@@@|DM)@@@No one is here.
@@@@@|Ό@@@@@I can dance now !
@@@@@|
@@@@@τ@@
@@@τ@@@^ _@@@ RANTA TAN
@@@@@@R(LDM;)Ι @@RANTA TAN
@@ @ @@@ (@ Φ) @@@RANTA RANTA
@ @ @ @ @@ @@@@@@TAN
@@@τ@@@@
@@@@@τ@^ _@@@RANTA RANTA
@@@@@@Ri;LDMjΙ@@RANTA TAN
@@ @ @@@ (Φ@ ) @@@RANTA TANTA
@ @ @ @ @@@@ >@@@@TAN
(EΝE) Grandpa! Wake up quickly! The circus is in town!
( LΦ`) Yay! Circus!
( LΦ`) Now you can run away and join them!
(EΝE) Circus?@What are you talking about?
(EΝE) Did you forget to take your meds again?
( LΦ`) Shouldn't you be packing your bag on a stick and hoboing it out of here?
(EΝE) I don't have a stick.
(EΝE) Grandpa, is it true that Boney was a warrior AND a terrier?
( LΦ`) As much as Paddy was an Irishman.
(EΝE) Who's Paddy?
( LΦ`) Poor Paddy worked on the railway. He was wearing corduroy britches, digging ditches, pulling switches, dodging hitches, he was wrking on the railway.
Grandpa, what happened to your legendary threads?
( LΦ`) I'm sure they're around here somewhere.
( LΦ`) ...
( LΦ`) Did I just imagine hearing that question?
( E-E) Take your pills.
(EΝE) NO DON'T DO IT!!!
( LΦ`) Don't do what now?
τ@@@@
@@@@@τ@ ^ _@@@Intermittens is the periodical journal of Discordian thought.
@@@@@@R(@ ^^)Ι@@We discuss subjects as diverse as hacking, today's dinner,
@@ @ @@@ (Φ@ ) @@@and MITTENS!
@ @ @ @ @@@@ >@@@@http://www.blackironprison.com/index.php?title=Intermittens
( LΦ`) Well, I certainly won't click on that
(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think I could write a funny article on the holographic universe and what it means when really smart people get bored of their own work to start having fun with the uneducated masses?
( LΦ`) Well, I for one resent it when a representative of the people refers to you and me, the free men and women of this country, as "the masses!"
( LΦ`) This is a term we haven't applied to ourselves in this country
( EΦE) My thread is higher up on the list than yours. Could this mean that I have finally surpassed you in popularity?
( EΦE) Oh darn.
( LΦ`) Shut up, both of you!
( E-E) You still use Vi from your tube console don't you gramps?
( LΦ`) Nolite arbitrari. Potius, oportet te sentire. Et eritis tanasinn.
(EΝE) STOP SPEAKING CHINESE!!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was life like before the discovery of moé?
( LΦ`) Lonely saps masturbated to Disney characters, Jimmy.
(EΝE) Eww! Kimo~i!
(EΝE) Wow, Grandpa, this thread's a real stank bucket.
( LΦ`) I blame you.
(EAE) Awwwwww.
( LΦ`) Time to bump all the open Grandpa threads!
Hey, Clonpa?
( LΦ`) What the heck's a clonpa?
@@@@|
@@@@|@@@@@@@@ζζζζ
@@@@|@@@@@@@ζ(₯)(₯)ζ
@@@@|@@@@@@ ζζ@^ _ζζ
@@@@|@@@@ @ζζζ/O@|@O|ζζ
@@@@|@@ @ @ ζζζ|@Q_|Q_ |ζζ@
@@@@|@@@@@ ζζζ|@@===@.|ζζ
@@@@|@@@@@ @.ζ _QQ^ζ
@@@@|@@ @@@@@ͺi§jͺ
@@@^P( LΦ`)PPP
(@₯ิΦ₯ิ) crisp hat
i@MnLj who was died? thotely
(EΝE)@Grandpa, what was life like before we became deathless ghosts of electricity and data, circuiting endlessly throughout the internal universe, knowing neither past nor future but only the eternal searing oblivion of the present?
( LΦ`) Kids these days with their "booyakasha" this and their "wo pah" that and their "tchaw" yon
( E-E) Those kids are pushing 40 if not more
(E`E) Grandpa! Hitler dood! Wat nou?@
( LΦ`) They don't show panties in anime like they used to
( LΦ`) All the cocks in the world won't live up to an old-fashioned 200GET.
(EΝE) Grandpa, I'm straight.
(EΝE) Grandpa, what big eyes you have!
(EΝE) Grandpa, what was the difference between modern anime pantsu and old fashioned anime pantsu?
( LΦ`) Back in my day, we could buy used pantsu from a special vending machine. Burusera shops were as common as 7-11.