[Part 9] ( ´ω`) Grandpa [Legendary] (480)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4982 22:54

( ´ω`) 'sup, kids?

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5448 22:47

( ´ω`) Congratulations, Junior!

( ´ω`) You've won an all-expenses paid trip for two....

( ´ω`) TO NEW JERSEY!!!!!

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5449 02:03

( ・-・) ...

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5450 09:52

( ´ω`) Time-traveling is weird.

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5450 19:53

( ・-・) ... can I go on that trip?

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6279 01:56

( ´ω`) It's a one way trip, so sure, go ahead.

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6290 22:36

( ・-・) lol

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6291 02:59

(・∀・) Here's my ticket. Now you can take a friend.

(・∀・) If you had one.

(・∀・) Bjerk.

208 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7082 23:21

( ´ω`) Heh heh heh heh

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7083 21:08

( ・-・) Took you a while to get that one, didn't it?

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7084 01:49

( ´ω`) I was busy with all my other threads.

( ´ω`) How's your one little thread going?

211 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7910 23:37

( ・-・) I hate you.

212 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7935 00:38

( ´ω`) Yes, we know.

213 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8489 16:09

( ´ω`) A lot of laughter in this one. It'll do.

214 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8489 17:38

( ´ω`) Fewer irritating little brats too.

215 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8490 01:51

( ´ω`) .....

( ´ω`) Yep. Very good thread.

216 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8490 13:12

( ´ω`) Guess I'll just talk to myself until >>999, then.

217 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8490 15:13

( ´ω`) ksk

218 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8490 17:25

( ´ω`) zzzzzzz

219 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8490 21:44

( ´ω`) Christ I'm lonely.

220 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8491 01:13

(・∀・) I wonder if I should call or visit.
(・∀・) Nah, he's probably fine. I wonder what's on the tube?

221 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8491 19:11

( ´ω`) Wonder what ever happened to that worthless crotchfruit that used to always come bother me.

222 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8491 23:15

( ´ω`) Heh. He's probably running around the other thread crying for his dead mommie.

( ´ω`) Pussy.

223 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8491 23:42

( ´ω`) Anyway, better get back to counting the bunions on my feet.

224 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8492 17:51

( ´ω`) One.

( ´ω`) Next up on the agenda, nap time.

( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

225 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8493 00:37

( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

226 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8493 02:57

( `ω´) ZZZZZpopZ
( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

227 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8493 06:25

(・∀・) HEY GRANDPA!!

228 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8493 11:29

( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzz-fwuh? What was that?

( ´ω`) Oh, just my imagination.

229 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8496 04:20

( ´ω`) zZzZzzzzZz

230 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8496 21:45

( ・ω・) Hi Grandpa! What was life like before the internet?

231 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8497 01:19

( ´ω`) Hi, Clonepa. Grampa's napping, so go play with the liquifier or something.

232 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8497 14:52

( ・ω・) Okay!

|ミ

< Whee! Cannonball!
< SPLAT
< SQUELCH
< drip drip drip

233 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8501 19:13

(・∀・) Grandpa! There you are! I've been looking all over for you.

(・∀・) I'm trying to make duck à l'orange, but I'm all out of white wine vinegar. I know, I know, you can do without, but I just don't want it to turn out too sweet. Anyway, do you have any vinegar lying around somewhere in this useless old thread?

234 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8501 20:17

( ´ω`) Just piss in it, Billy.

( ´ω`) I'm outta here.

|ミ

235 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8703 17:55

|

|ω`)

|ミ

236 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8703 18:11

|ω`) ...Is he gone?

237 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8703 18:14

(・∀・) Is who gone?

238 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8703 19:28

(・∀・) The piss worked great, by the way. Rei's regulars loved it.

239 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8705 23:08

( ´ω`) Back in my day, all food and drink was served without piss, and if you wanted piss in it you had to damn well drop your trousers and add it yourself.

( ´ω`) How times have changed...

240 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8720 16:04

(・∀・) Grandpa, did you know that bawitdaba da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie?

241 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8720 18:26

  ∧__∧ ∩ Don't you ever use that sort of language in front of me again, you shitcurdling fuckglove!
 (,,´ω`)彡☆  
  ⊂彡☆))∀・) ow SORRY ow ow ow ow

242 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8737 00:20

( ´ω`) Now go to bed, you turdstrangling barcalounger.

243 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8737 12:06

(・∀・) Not unless you tell me a bedtime story!

244 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8738 19:18

( ´ω`) Once upon a time the Yankees invaded Hawaii. We quickly took it back with a decisive surprise bombing on their main Pacific naval base.

( ´ω`) So a lot of fighting and about four years later, we leveled a couple of cities on the East Coast from the air and the Americans surrendered unconditionally. I did my patriotic duty and piloted 5 aircraft straight into their ships--the last one was a twofer, so make that 6 sinkings. After that they wouldn't let me fly another one, on account that "those gaijin were on their way to liberate Vietnam" or something, it didn't sound important.

( ´ω`) We put up a good showing for a diplomatically isolated island nation with basically no metal, coal, oil, rubber, manufacturing capabilities, or manpower, in relative terms. That is what is truly worth fighting for, Junior, making sure the native peoples and tongues of Manchuria and Korea are brutally suppressed in favor of Tokyo's whims and dialect.

( ´ω`) zzzzZzzz

245 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8738 20:03

-- told me the world was going to roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool --
 ̄ ̄V ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
 ____               ∧_∧     
/  /   | |             (・∀・ ) Did you say something, Grandpa?
l 二 |    | |         /  ̄ ̄旦 ̄ ̄/|
\_ヽ__| |       ./_____//
 |;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|       |l─────‐l|'

246 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8739 12:34

 ( `ハ´) ...

 ( `ハ´) I had hoped to barter for some soy sauce, but it seems these delicious baozi are for you and not your grandfather, child. Good day!

247 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8741 15:29

(・∀・) You should drop by the Soy Boy on Third & Buttlumps. They got the best soy sauce ever!

248 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8751 23:36

 ( `ハ´) Indeed. Third and Buttlumps, you say?

249 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8753 22:41

(・∀・) Did I fucking stutter?

250 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8754 18:03

( `ハ´) More than usual? No.

251 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8754 23:49

(・∀・) There are two kinds of people in this world, and you're the second kind.

252 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8775 17:46

( ´ω`) Whenever you young whippersnappers are done over there, it's time for my sponge bath.

253 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8775 18:10

( ´ω`) Or tongue bath. I'm not particular.

254 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8775 21:03

(・∀・) Why would you need a bath for your tongue?

255 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8776 04:52

( ・-・) How about a lung bath?

256 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8776 10:37

(・∀・) How many lungs can you fit in a bathtub?

257 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8776 17:00

( ´ω`) In my experience, about fifty or sixty; more if you squish them down a little.

258 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8777 18:14

( ´ω`) Of course, I'm used to dealing with bathtubs full of children's lungs. If it's adult lungs we're talking about, it would obviously be less.

259 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8818 19:27

( ´ω`) If you get a variety of lung sizes in there, you can make the most incredible noise by lying down on them in the tub.

260 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8818 21:29

(・∀・) Grandpa, why do people bump threads that died a natural death ages ago?

261 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8818 22:19

( ´ω`) That which is not bumped can eternal lie.

262 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8818 22:23

( ´ω`) Also, nothing dies on the internet. Nothing.

263 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8821 10:32

(・∀・) Grandpa, why does God have such an inordinate fondness for beetles?

264 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8821 17:42

( ´ω`) As it says in the book of Ecclesiasticles, He is the Walrus.

( ´ω`) You'd know that if you weren't expelled from Sunday School.

265 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8821 19:48

( ・-・) Weren't you expelled for setting fire to the priests?

266 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8821 21:41

( ´ω`) No, I was expelled for summoning Asmodeus, King of the Nine Hells, who then set fire to the priests.

267 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8821 21:46

( ´ω`) Buncha crybabies.

268 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8825 16:28

( ´ω`) Afterwards ol' Asmo and I went out for a drink or two, and, well, one thing led to another...

269 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8825 19:19

(・∀・) I know this story! It's about birds and bees!

270 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8825 22:03

( ´ω`) Bees and spiders, actually.

271 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8827 19:10

( ´ω`) And exploding prostitutes.

272 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9245 14:41

(・∀・) Hail Asmodeus! La! La!

273 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9246 16:19

( ´ω`) Aye, that searing gale of flatus that issueth forth from his haunches....

274 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9246 21:32

( ´ω`) The vast bubbling craters of boiling pus...

275 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9247 05:00

( ´ω`) ... But enough about your grandmother. What's on TV?

276 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9255 17:44

( ⊙ω⊙) WOW lookit those boobies Junior

277 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9369 17:21

( ´ω`) it seems today has become another day all over again.

278 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9369 22:08

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before you were born?

279 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9369 23:54

( ´ω`) It wasn't.

280 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 09:18

(・∀・) Wasn't what? Interesting?

281 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 14:54

( ´ω`)

282 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 17:32

(・∀・) I get it, you're God.

283 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 19:57

( ´ω`) Shut up before I send two she-bears out of the woods to maul you.

284 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 20:51

( ´ω`) Shut up before I summon a pack of dire wolves to tear you limb from limb, saving your head for last to maximize your suffering.

285 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9370 21:29

( ´ω`) Which book of the Bible did I put the dire wolves in again? Ezekiel? Eddard? Tyrion?

286 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9371 00:22

( ・ω・) The Bible's an exaggerated story. God is everywhere and in everything. There is no devil its all one thing.

287 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9500 22:38

          ,.ヘ
     三  //
       //     /\
       \\   //\\
  三     \\//   \>
         ( ・∀・) Look Grandpa, I've become the Übermensch!
    <\   //\\
    \\//   \\
 三   \/    //
            //
          ヽ/

288 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9500 23:22

( ´ω`) Pfff, you wish. You're the Last Man and you know it.

289 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9501 04:11

(・∀・) Does that mean tribes of warrior women will fight over me as irreplaceable breeding material? Yes, please.

290 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9501 13:08

( ・ω・) Nope, we perfected cloning technology years ago.

291 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9502 01:08

(・∀・) Nobody wants to repopulate the earth with more abominations like you, freakazoid.

292 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9502 15:14

( ・ω・) Entertainment Weekly says I'm loved by millions around the world.

293 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9509 23:18

( ・-・) Don't listen to that loser. I'm the actual Übermensch.

294 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9511 01:19

( ・ω・) They even have contests with the store-bought Clonepas to see how long they can keep one alive! It's fun!

295 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9511 19:10

( ´ω`) That's inhumane. Your kind should be put down painlessly, with dignity and respect, whenever they are spotted in the wild.

( ´ω`)▄︻┻┳═一 Hold still now. It'll all be over soon.

296 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9511 21:04

(・∀・) But Grandpa! You advertise them as "Your fully disposable friend that you an do anything to and not feel bad about it!"

297 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9511 22:10

( ´ω`) We used to catch, neuter and release feral Clonepas, but China no longer imports Clonepa testicles as a rare gourmet delight, so it's easier to shoot 'em.

298 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 03:28

( ´ω`) Incidentally, like tomcats, neutered Clonepas are prone to bladder stones, so we usually cut a hole further up the shaft so there's less likely to be blockages. Much better than them spraying urine everywhere to mark their territory, though.

( ´ω`) But enough of that. Who wants dinner? I found some fish sticks and chicken balls in the freezer. Just need to bread them and toss them in the fryer.

299 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 11:30

(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true that the rooster's left ball is usually bigger than the right one?

300 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 15:34

( ´ω`) No.
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