shitty fucking poetry night (463)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5045 20:53

I raise up
to only fall down
drown in the tears of the wallyb
for it is you that will have to be

414 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9986 03:13

Moshe says do not eat pork
Interest twixt Jews? not a shekel
On Shabbos you are not to work
Also, cut off the skin of your shmekl

415 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9986 17:27

kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself
mr red pilled anti semite podcast man
the world doesn't need you
you don't have any friends
kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself
mr red pilled anti semite podcast man

416 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 16:48

unpersoning living emoticons
to own the gulliboomers
what times these be
how righteous we

417 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9998 13:25

nymphomaniacal Jill
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil

418 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 05:11

fTWAS in the month of December, and in the year 1883,
That a monster whale came to Dundee,
Resolved for a few days to sport and play,
And devour the small fishes in the silvery Tay.

So the monster whale did sport and play
Among the innocent little fishes in the beautiful Tay,
Until he was seen by some men one day,
And they resolved to catch him without delay.

When it came to be known a whale was seen in the Tay,
Some men began to talk and to say,
We must try and catch this monster of a whale,
So come on, brave boys, and never say fail.

Then the people together in crowds did run,
Resolved to capture the whale and to have some fun!
So small boats were launched on the silvery Tay,
While the monster of the deep did sport and play.

Oh! it was a most fearful and beautiful sight,
To see it lashing the water with its tail all its might,
And making the water ascend like a shower of hail,
With one lash of its ugly and mighty tail.

Then the water did descend on the men in the boats,
Which wet their trousers and also their coats;
But it only made them the more determined to catch the whale,
But the whale shook at them his tail.

Then the whale began to puff and to blow,
While the men and the boats after him did go,
Armed well with harpoons for the fray,
Which they fired at him without dismay.

And they laughed and grinned just like wild baboons,
While they fired at him their sharp harpoons:
But when struck with,the harpoons he dived below,
Which filled his pursuersf hearts with woe.

Because they guessed they had lost a prize,
Which caused the tears to well up in their eyes;
And in that their anticipations were only right,
Because he sped on to Stonehaven with all his might:

And was first seen by the crew of a Gourdon fishing boat
Which they thought was a big coble upturned afloat;
But when they drew near they saw it was a whale,
So they resolved to tow it ashore without fail.

So they got a rope from each boat tied round his tail,
And landed their burden at Stonehaven without fail;
And when the people saw it their voices they did raise,
Declaring that the brave fishermen deserved great praise.

And my opinion is that God sent the whale in time of need,
No matter what other people may think or what is their creed;
I know fishermen in general are often very poor,
And God in His goodness sent it drive poverty from their door.

So Mr John Wood has bought it for two hundred and twenty-six pound,
And has brought it to Dundee all safe and all sound;
Which measures 40 feet in length from the snout to the tail,
So I advise the people far and near to see it without fail.

Then hurrah! for the mighty monster whale,
Which has got 17 feet 4 inches from tip to tip of a tail!
Which can be seen for a sixpence or a shilling,
That is to say, if the people all are willing.

419 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 10:09

Stick a finger up your bum!
Take a whiff, take a sniff,
Fart upon the screen
Chew some gum :)

420 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 11:08

>>418 I recognise this as the work of renowned shitty poet William McGonagall, and I've seen that particular whale's skeleton the poem is about!

Oh! where have you been, my son, my son?
We have not met since the morn was young.
gI left the North, good mother, to see
The whaling fleet in bonnie Dundee.h

Oh! why went you tbere, my son, my son,
Within the range of their banging gun?
gFear not, mother, ftwas only a lark,
I reckoned they would shoot wide of the mark.h

Ah! Finny, my boy, is it not vile,
They do so thirst for our precious ile?
gYes, mother, for our good blubber they pine,
But I took care they didnft get mine.h

Pray, tell me, did they not chase you, dear,
With harpoons, lances, and such like gear?
gWhat if they followed me, donft despond,
Chasingfs not catching, mother fond.

They followfd me up, they followfd me down,
In view of gaping folk of the town;
But I, when they thought to take sure aim,
Skedaddled, and sent them eswearinf hame.'h

Go never again, my son, my son,
Rest content with the laurels youfve won;
gTrust me, mother, they may know about bales \
Ifm blowed if they know as much about whales.

A party was sent the other day
To do for ma slick in Cowriefs Bay;
My eye! they peppered it hot on poor me,
Then found it was only a rock. He! he!h

421 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10011 16:42

A demand that I send
A cheerful message to a friend
I haven't spoken to in a while
I cannot comply
All my friends are pretend
Except one who's a crocodile

422 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10016 16:48



423 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10026 23:55

first they came for miranda's ass, and i didn't say anything because I'm not a casual who plays ME.

then they came for joel's whiteness and i didn't say anything because i don't watch western media.

then they came for my anime tiddies, and there was no one left to speak for them.

424 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10027 16:29

"What times these be
How righteous we"
Shut up lol
I fucked thee

425 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10029 22:28

Gutless McConnell
Weaseling out
Benedict Arnold
Was much more stout


426 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 06:41

Stumbling through the kitchen after a long day
Finding all my pots and pans in utter disarray
The predatory waterfowl into my eyes did gaze
And quoth: i am a heron i ahev a long neck and

427 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 23:05

1 Lord, you are the God who saves me;

day and night I cry out to you.

2 May my prayer come before you;

turn your ear to my cry.

3 I am overwhelmed with troubles

and my life draws near to death.

4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;

I am like one without strength.

5 I am set apart with the dead,

like the slain who lie in the grave,

whom you remember no more,

who are cut off from your care.

6 You have put me in the lowest pit,

in the darkest depths.

7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;

you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.[d]

8 You have taken from me my closest friends

and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, Lord, every day;

I spread out my hands to you.

10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?

Do their spirits rise up and praise you?

11 Is your love declared in the grave,

your faithfulness in Destruction?

12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,

or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;

in the morning my prayer comes before you.

14 Why, Lord, do you reject me

and hide your face from me?

15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;

I have borne your terrors and am in despair.

16 Your wrath has swept over me;

your terrors have destroyed me.

17 All day long they surround me like a flood;

they have completely engulfed me.

18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—

darkness is my closest friend.

428 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10042 21:11

have to admit I didn't realize the first emo music lyrics were written by a Jewish priest between c. 516 BCE and 70 CE

429 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10044 07:48

She wore her hideous pajamas
To keep me unaroused
Ifm feeling kinda frisky
but tonight, Ifm not allowed
She wore her flannel pants with footsies
with prints of buttercups
Shefs clinging to her bedside
Those pants are staying up

She wore her facial green mudpack
To try to keep me scarred
Shefs covered head to toe
And nothing will be barred
Her hair is wrapped in plastic
smells like the Fotomat
She knows I need some loving
But therefll be none of that

She think shefs got my number, as she prepares to slumber
She thinks therefs no one dumber than me
Though itfs loving she is loathing, takes more than ugly clothing
Thatfs hardly a repellent for me

She wore her hideous pajamas
To kill the passion off
Fire retardant nightwear
Ainft nothinf cominf off
Her silkie things are missing
Must be in storage somewhere
and for maximum effect
shefs wearing giant underwear

Shefs lying there smirkin, she thinks her plan is workin
she doesnft care that shefs jerkinf me
But let me tell you honey, all though it may sound funny
You still look pretty sexy to me

thatfs right – in those hideous pajamas

430 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10044 09:55

I rote a pohum
eevun thow I canot spel
I rime wen I tel.

431 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10045 08:51

I rate a poem
Did not make me contemplate

432 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10045 10:53

>>431 terrible haiku

433 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10065 23:24

People always say that my security's bad, sorry for data breaching!
Users complain, sayin' take it down, sorry for data breaching!
ISC2 don't like me, 'cause I'm the spotlight, sorry for data breaching!
When they talk s***, we just be like, sorry for data breaching!

434 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10066 15:31

While I nodded, nearly napping.
suddenly there came a clapping,
As of ass cheeks gently clapping,
clapping at my chamber door.
gtis a visitor," i muttered,
"dummy thicc, and nothing more"

435 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10069 09:57

i have a shit, i have a liberal
uh! shitlib
i have a liberal, i have a retard
uh! libtard
shitlib... libtard...
uh! horseshoe theory

436 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10076 18:39

professor Bigglesworth
experiences a dearth
of tight little butts
oh woe - it's grows late
he may have to masturbate

437 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10091 23:14

In days of old,
when knights were bold,
and toilets werenft invented,
theyfd drop their load upon the road,
and walk away contented.

But now today,
or so they say,
a stink is much resented,
and so we poo upon a loo,
because we aren't demented.

438 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10095 22:54

> Are you sure you mean Anglo-Saxon political traditions? Like, Angles and Saxons, the people of medieval England? Were you just trying to do a dog whistle and it got a little out of hand?

gNay,h said the America First Caucus. gTo the mead-hall!h
And with great clattering of sword and shield and mail-shirts
And plunder and heavy gold-wrought arm bands from their lord,
They went to the mead-hall, the shield-hall, the stronghold of Donald
And unfolded their minds, thus.
gAbsolutely we meant Anglo-Saxon political traditions!h cried they
Shield clanging on shield and helm on helm.
gWhat could be more American than this?h

> Did the Anglo-Saxons even know about America?

gHROTHGAR!h the caucus responded, with a loud cry. gHlothhere!
Do not all our laws begin with an unpronounceable eHR,f as befits an Anglo-Saxon?
Where is Wiglaf?! This is what we meant.
I ask nothing better than to sit in the throne-hall of my lord, ring-giver, great in arms
While a demon comes rampaging into the hall and wreaks woe,
And much do we thanes thole — this is precisely what I mean!h

> Whatfs all this about architecture?

gWattle-and-daub was well enough for Wiglaf,h cried the caucus,
gAnd well shall it be for me, in the hall of my lord and torque-bearer!
Stone is in the manner of the Romans, and I shun it for construction.
By European architecture, I meant a sturdy timber hall,
Lined with shields, and rich with plunder.
That is all the architecture I seek, and is definitely what I meant.h

> Okay. This seems like it was pretty clearly just supposed to be a dog whistle and now youfre tripling down.

gWhen I spoke,h cried Marjorie Taylor Greene, hammering shield with sword,
gI weighed each word! Let us have maethlfrith!
Let us have drihtinbeage! We must make America Geat again!
We shall be ruled by bailiffs and reeves,
And we shall give way before the law of Æthelberht!
Three shillings boot if a man strike another with a fist upon the nose!
No feax-fang without sore punishment! Hearken, ceorls!h
This is the Anglo-Saxon tradition and culture you had in mind? Itfs not just that you thought you were being subtle with your nativism and instead wound up committing yourself to a specific history and culture you didnft mean to?
Paul A. Gosar lifted his long arm, making merry with his mead
And unlocked his word-hoard, the treasure of his mind:
gWhat culture could we crave beyond the Dream of the Rood?
The Bede is Venerable enough for me. What man speaks against him?
We must revive the ancient American art of sitting by the sea lamenting the passing of our lord.
What could be more American than alliterative poetry about tearing the arm off Grendel,
Writ in a tongue none has spoke for a thousand year?
My thews are weary. We must take down this obelisk of stone and heave up a barrow
To give glory to our great Founders who have passed.
Ea-la! My kinsmen! Ea-la! A spear-bearing host!
Of the Constitution writ upon much vellum, we seek to know nothing.
We gaze with dour eyes upon the land of freedom and opportunity
Where voting happened even a limited amount
And representative government rules wheat-lands and peach-lands.
We long instead to exult in battle with our hammered blades,
Those classic American things that are very American.
America first, obviously! This all follows!h
And they clashed shield on shield, and a great shout went up.
Mail-shirt and sword resounded with a clang, and the caucus roared,
And the roar echoed where the sea-birds
Picked the carcass of the Republican Party.

439 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10097 08:55

I a woodpecker am
The tree I peck and peck
The beaver builds a dam
And the heron hath a long neck:
He plucketh from the water fish
If to 10 others you do not this poem recite
He'll fly into your kitchen tonight
And bring about a frenzy upon every pot and dish.

440 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10101 23:49

"aloha akbar", said the hawaiian terrorist
"it means hello, but it also means goodbye."

441 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10144 22:51

Edge Of A Ceiling


  O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts Down


  O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts Down

442 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10176 16:13

And you may find yourself
Watching Neopronoun discourse in the replies to genshin impact fan art
And you may ask yourself
How did I get here?

443 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10177 21:22

This was good. Creative rhyme scheme.

444 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10179 19:22

At the crossing 'tween
Long Lane and Short,
There once was seen
A certain sort.

Their hands hung low,
They spittled in spurts,
And long hair would grow
To cover some wart.

Those folks are long gone,
Now young ones cavort.
And they tell chilling stories
About Long Lane and Short.

445 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10226 21:40

six mixed pixie kids
switfly sift
pixie dust buckets

446 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10230 14:20

7-Day Candles, and I
Funk like myrrh

447 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10246 22:13

According to the Śvētāmbara version,
Parshva married Prabhavati,
And Mahāvīra married Yashoda
Who bore him a daughter named Priyadarshana

The two sects also differ on the origin of Trishala
(Mahāvīra's mother)
As well as the details of Tirthankara's biographies
Such as how many auspicious dreams their mothers had
When they were in the wombs.

448 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10263 19:00

i dipped thine hands into the pond
removing grit into the beyond
now it is frowned upon
the soils not black its bronze
dirt settles down and gets gone
words form a polymerization bond
the battle i won

449 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10392 01:16

Please inseminate my goat, Gil,
Please inseminate my goat.
She likes it when you grab her throat, Gil,
Then inseminate my goat.
Altogether now

450 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10410 13:55

Raised by a hen
My home, my den
Razed with a pen

451 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10420 13:00

Jehovah wasnft all that they Witnessed that day, as I took a pamphlet and stuffed it down my bum crack

Following some well-lit* Acts of bloody ultra-onanism,
Her daughter - despite so many hollow years between us -
Offers burnt daisies

She died on an upright spike in an earlier life
Passed down to the wire, and preach to the choir
A long time has passed since the war within
A soul laid bare through coded ceremonies

After only five to ten well-lit Acts of gory ultra-onanism
She was LED to think of it in such gauche terms as this
The way Yahweh relaxed input
The way fluid ignores her bath

*light emitting diodes (LEDs)

452 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10421 09:52

uhhh ding dang
uh doo doo
dang dinga
dooodoo poopoo

453 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10431 21:29

Your pulchritudinous puffs
Are imploding my tympanics
Please purchase a pop filter

454 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 11:25

A love song of Shu-Suen (Shu-Suen B): translation

Man of my heart, my beloved man, your allure is a sweet thing, as sweet as honey. Lad of my heart, my beloved man, your allure is a sweet thing, as sweet as honey.

You have captivated me (?), of my own free will I will come to you. Man, let me flee with you -- into the bedroom. You have captivated me (?); of my own free will I shall come to you. Lad, let me flee with you -- into the bedroom.

Man, let me do the sweetest things to you. My precious sweet, let me bring you honey. In the bedchamber dripping with honey let us enjoy over and over your allure, the sweet thing. Lad, let me do the sweetest things to you. My precious sweet, let me bring you honey.

Man, you have become attracted to me. Speak to my mother and I will give myself to you; speak to my father and he will make a gift of me. I know where to give physical pleasure to your body -- sleep, man, in our house till morning. I know how to bring heart's delight to your heart -- sleep, lad, in our house till morning.

Since you have fallen in love with me, lad, if only you would do your sweet thing to me.

My lord and god, my lord and guardian angel, my Cu-Suen who cheers Enlil's heart, if only you would handle your sweet place, if only you would grasp your place that is sweet as honey.

Put your hand there for me like the cover (?) on a measuring cup. Spread (?) your hand there for me like the cover (?) on a cup of wood shavings.

It is a balbale of Inana.

455 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10457 20:36

can barely remember when this was, but
this one time i wanted to visit monticello because it wasn't far and wouldn't take me too long, but
it turns out you have to pay for tickets which is fair enough i guess, but
that would have put the trip over budget, so

456 Name: vc: reuse : 1993-09-10466 05:22

Well you finally funged my monkey
Yes you finally funged my monkey

Yes we finally
funged your

457 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10470 16:29

Bereft of QUALITY, I drift alone.
The Internet no longer provides a home.

Bereft of options, I masturbate to Pone,
Until I degrade into a filthy gnome
With ears full of porn noise drone.

458 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10553 04:48

I'm so alone
And it's late at night
I hope no one phone
While it's late at night

459 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10569 08:06

I may have found why every Swiss I've met has been a bitch
It's not as if the banks are making normal people rich

460 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10640 17:01

I miss you little strawberry, now you're so far away
I yearn for your enormous tongue each and every day
With texture like a peanut shell, you tickled every cranny
You guided me through Penis Hell and then I licked your fanny

I moistened up your USB, you did the same to me
The way you blocked my air supply was truly ecstasy
You left your sticky residue, it tastes like fine French wine
I close my eyes and fantasise, our bodies intertwine

Come back to me hot mama, I think you're really cool
I know it's an acquired taste, this semen from a bull
I'm sorry that I made you cry, the spunk was just too fizzy
When you left without a word you left me feeling dizzy

So come back honeybunny, I want all your saliva
If I don't have you next to me, I don't think I'll survive-a

461 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10784 00:14

Some shitty goatse poetry, courtesy of the Sageru IRC GPT3 bot with some mild cleanup courtesy of me.
The initial prompt,
gpt3: give a long, highly verbose description of "goatse" in 19th century poetic language
was given three times, and the three poems outputted edited together into this:

Oh, goatse, what a sight to behold!
A most peculiar and curious sight,
A sight that would make one's heart grow cold,
A deep, dark cold that fills one with fright.
A gaping maw, wide and deep,
An immense hole that will cloud your sleep.

A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
A sight that would make one's heart grow cold,
A sight that would make one's stomach churn,
A sight that would make one's courage burn.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.

A man, with his back to the viewer,
His posterior exposed, a most curious pose.
Hands stretched wide, wide as a sewer,
A sight that would make one's stomach close.

A most curious image, a most curious sight,
A sight that would make one's heart take flight.
A man, with his back to the viewer,
His posterior exposed, a most curious feature.
The maw of a most horrific creature.

A man with a gaping hole in his backside,
A man with a gaping hole that was wide.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.

A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.

A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with dread.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.

A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with dread,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with shame.

462 Name: vc: pizz : 1993-09-10784 00:39

Definitely going to be sharing this one with the literary society.

463 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10839 00:03

Watching the shrinking friend list over the years
Inactivity and no chats
Antisocial network fading away
Fading away

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