shitty fucking poetry night (448)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5045 20:53

I raise up
to only fall down
drown in the tears of the wallyb
for it is you that will have to be

399 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9686 20:57

easy breezy
lazy beamy

400 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9691 08:47

Republicans are the scummiest
Like no one ever was
Steal election's their real test
And power is their cause

They will travel across the land
Looting far and wide
Build super PACS, and then command
The money that's inside

(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Together you and me
Don't want a plutocracy
Oooh they're no one's friend
Except the rich, whom they defend

(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Their heart so cruel
Dark money may pull 'em through
You pay them and they'll serve you
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!


Each election along the way
Smear campaigns we will face
They're on Fox News every day
Spewing hate from their safe space

They're mostly rich men who are white
To them there's no better genes
Voter suppression is how they fight
For their fascist regime

(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Together you and me
They're full of hypocrisy
Oooh their knee will bend
For the rich whom they defend

(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Their heart so cruel
Tribalism's what pulls 'em through
Not with them and they'll purge you
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta VOTE 'em out!

Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!


(Gotta vote 'em out!)
They hate minorities
They're caging child refugees
Oooh you must understand
They're authoritarians

(Gotta vote 'em out!)
If you're poor, you're screwed
Insurance may not cover you
If you croak it's thanks to whom?
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta VOTE 'em out!


401 Name: five daily prayers brother : 1993-09-9691 12:41


402 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9806 10:55

The golden mean
Must yet be seen
Some do prize
The average size
If moderation
Is your wave
You have friends at

403 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9809 20:06

Nerd Porn Auteur
by Ernest Cline

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

404 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9835 03:46

government didn't renew
my letters of marque, they rigged it
now what am i gonna do
to fly my friggen frigate

405 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9871 04:53

So here I yam
Doin' everything I can
Holdin' on to what I yam
Pretandin' I'm a sailor man

406 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9871 06:58

Roses are red
That much is true
But violets are violet,
you cretin, not blue.

407 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9885 15:55

If I ruled the world, my cock would be long
and I'd rock a LAN party in an edible thong
I'd meet a genie and he'd give me three wishes
motherfucker, they're all about PENISES

408 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9887 15:47

Yar har fiddle dee-dee
Downloading movies and novels for free
See what you want without library fees
You are a pirate

409 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9889 04:56

I love my coins
I love them so
I love my coins
to spend on a ho
I love my coins
I love them so
so gimme my silver coins

410 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9916 20:03

killer black jungle animal
ebola and AIDS
the mighty puma

411 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9935 01:43

I wrote this this morning about an amazing dream I had last night
It's called Everything Just Falls Apart

A big fight broke out in the bar
Fists, knives and glass falls apart
I ducked for cover and you were there
We went upstairs

You lay down beside me and we held each other close
How long has it been?
You told me how your life was going
And I told you I really really really really really really loved you
You're the one I love the most
You held me tighter and kissed me

Your face went red
And you said
Omg I forgot how massive your cock is
Wait what could all these black things be
Haha are those bugs? Do you have fleas?
No no my love, my darling angel
See my leather hat sitting there
It's falling apart
These wee bits of leather get everywhere

You said gi'm so wet, you're making me forget
I have a new life with someone new
Oh but you're so hard and big
And I feel funny between my legs
Wait, try this, maybe this'll do?h

You pulled from a drawer,
A Birdseye chicken steak
But it had a human fanny
"Why don't you fuck this dinner" you said
But it fell apart when I tried

412 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9961 05:35

Rudy, sweating brown bile,
Is sick, Trumpvirus style,
It's not that depressing,
If you look at the blessing,
It's the first case he's won in a while!

413 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9969 19:55

The globe is sadly groaning with debt, poverty and strife
And billions now are pleading to enjoy a better life
Their hope lies with resources buried deep within the earth
And the enterprise and capital which give each project worth
Is our future threatened with massive debts run up by political hacks
Who dig themselves out by unleashing rampant tax
The end result is sending Australian investment, growth and jobs offshore
This type of direction is harmful to our core
Some envious unthinking people have been conned
To think prosperity is created by waving a magic wand
Through such unfortunate ignorance, too much abuse is hurled
Against miners, workers and related industries who strive to build the world
Develop North Australia, embrace multiculturalism and welcome short term foreign workers to our shores
To benefit from the export of our minerals and ores
The world's poor need our resources: do not leave them to their fate
Our nation needs special economic zones and wiser government, before it is too late

414 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9986 03:13

Moshe says do not eat pork
Interest twixt Jews? not a shekel
On Shabbos you are not to work
Also, cut off the skin of your shmekl

415 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9986 17:27

kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself
mr red pilled anti semite podcast man
the world doesn't need you
you don't have any friends
kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself
mr red pilled anti semite podcast man

416 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 16:48

unpersoning living emoticons
to own the gulliboomers
what times these be
how righteous we

417 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9998 13:25

nymphomaniacal Jill
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil

418 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 05:11

fTWAS in the month of December, and in the year 1883,
That a monster whale came to Dundee,
Resolved for a few days to sport and play,
And devour the small fishes in the silvery Tay.

So the monster whale did sport and play
Among the innocent little fishes in the beautiful Tay,
Until he was seen by some men one day,
And they resolved to catch him without delay.

When it came to be known a whale was seen in the Tay,
Some men began to talk and to say,
We must try and catch this monster of a whale,
So come on, brave boys, and never say fail.

Then the people together in crowds did run,
Resolved to capture the whale and to have some fun!
So small boats were launched on the silvery Tay,
While the monster of the deep did sport and play.

Oh! it was a most fearful and beautiful sight,
To see it lashing the water with its tail all its might,
And making the water ascend like a shower of hail,
With one lash of its ugly and mighty tail.

Then the water did descend on the men in the boats,
Which wet their trousers and also their coats;
But it only made them the more determined to catch the whale,
But the whale shook at them his tail.

Then the whale began to puff and to blow,
While the men and the boats after him did go,
Armed well with harpoons for the fray,
Which they fired at him without dismay.

And they laughed and grinned just like wild baboons,
While they fired at him their sharp harpoons:
But when struck with,the harpoons he dived below,
Which filled his pursuersf hearts with woe.

Because they guessed they had lost a prize,
Which caused the tears to well up in their eyes;
And in that their anticipations were only right,
Because he sped on to Stonehaven with all his might:

And was first seen by the crew of a Gourdon fishing boat
Which they thought was a big coble upturned afloat;
But when they drew near they saw it was a whale,
So they resolved to tow it ashore without fail.

So they got a rope from each boat tied round his tail,
And landed their burden at Stonehaven without fail;
And when the people saw it their voices they did raise,
Declaring that the brave fishermen deserved great praise.

And my opinion is that God sent the whale in time of need,
No matter what other people may think or what is their creed;
I know fishermen in general are often very poor,
And God in His goodness sent it drive poverty from their door.

So Mr John Wood has bought it for two hundred and twenty-six pound,
And has brought it to Dundee all safe and all sound;
Which measures 40 feet in length from the snout to the tail,
So I advise the people far and near to see it without fail.

Then hurrah! for the mighty monster whale,
Which has got 17 feet 4 inches from tip to tip of a tail!
Which can be seen for a sixpence or a shilling,
That is to say, if the people all are willing.

419 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 10:09

Stick a finger up your bum!
Take a whiff, take a sniff,
Fart upon the screen
Chew some gum :)

420 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10004 11:08

>>418 I recognise this as the work of renowned shitty poet William McGonagall, and I've seen that particular whale's skeleton the poem is about!

Oh! where have you been, my son, my son?
We have not met since the morn was young.
gI left the North, good mother, to see
The whaling fleet in bonnie Dundee.h

Oh! why went you tbere, my son, my son,
Within the range of their banging gun?
gFear not, mother, ftwas only a lark,
I reckoned they would shoot wide of the mark.h

Ah! Finny, my boy, is it not vile,
They do so thirst for our precious ile?
gYes, mother, for our good blubber they pine,
But I took care they didnft get mine.h

Pray, tell me, did they not chase you, dear,
With harpoons, lances, and such like gear?
gWhat if they followed me, donft despond,
Chasingfs not catching, mother fond.

They followfd me up, they followfd me down,
In view of gaping folk of the town;
But I, when they thought to take sure aim,
Skedaddled, and sent them eswearinf hame.'h

Go never again, my son, my son,
Rest content with the laurels youfve won;
gTrust me, mother, they may know about bales \
Ifm blowed if they know as much about whales.

A party was sent the other day
To do for ma slick in Cowriefs Bay;
My eye! they peppered it hot on poor me,
Then found it was only a rock. He! he!h

421 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10011 16:42

A demand that I send
A cheerful message to a friend
I haven't spoken to in a while
I cannot comply
All my friends are pretend
Except one who's a crocodile

422 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10016 16:48



423 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10026 23:55

first they came for miranda's ass, and i didn't say anything because I'm not a casual who plays ME.

then they came for joel's whiteness and i didn't say anything because i don't watch western media.

then they came for my anime tiddies, and there was no one left to speak for them.

424 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10027 16:29

"What times these be
How righteous we"
Shut up lol
I fucked thee

425 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10029 22:28

Gutless McConnell
Weaseling out
Benedict Arnold
Was much more stout


426 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 06:41

Stumbling through the kitchen after a long day
Finding all my pots and pans in utter disarray
The predatory waterfowl into my eyes did gaze
And quoth: i am a heron i ahev a long neck and

427 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 23:05

1 Lord, you are the God who saves me;

day and night I cry out to you.

2 May my prayer come before you;

turn your ear to my cry.

3 I am overwhelmed with troubles

and my life draws near to death.

4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;

I am like one without strength.

5 I am set apart with the dead,

like the slain who lie in the grave,

whom you remember no more,

who are cut off from your care.

6 You have put me in the lowest pit,

in the darkest depths.

7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;

you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.[d]

8 You have taken from me my closest friends

and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, Lord, every day;

I spread out my hands to you.

10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?

Do their spirits rise up and praise you?

11 Is your love declared in the grave,

your faithfulness in Destruction?

12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,

or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;

in the morning my prayer comes before you.

14 Why, Lord, do you reject me

and hide your face from me?

15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;

I have borne your terrors and am in despair.

16 Your wrath has swept over me;

your terrors have destroyed me.

17 All day long they surround me like a flood;

they have completely engulfed me.

18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—

darkness is my closest friend.

428 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10042 21:11

have to admit I didn't realize the first emo music lyrics were written by a Jewish priest between c. 516 BCE and 70 CE

429 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10044 07:48

She wore her hideous pajamas
To keep me unaroused
Ifm feeling kinda frisky
but tonight, Ifm not allowed
She wore her flannel pants with footsies
with prints of buttercups
Shefs clinging to her bedside
Those pants are staying up

She wore her facial green mudpack
To try to keep me scarred
Shefs covered head to toe
And nothing will be barred
Her hair is wrapped in plastic
smells like the Fotomat
She knows I need some loving
But therefll be none of that

She think shefs got my number, as she prepares to slumber
She thinks therefs no one dumber than me
Though itfs loving she is loathing, takes more than ugly clothing
Thatfs hardly a repellent for me

She wore her hideous pajamas
To kill the passion off
Fire retardant nightwear
Ainft nothinf cominf off
Her silkie things are missing
Must be in storage somewhere
and for maximum effect
shefs wearing giant underwear

Shefs lying there smirkin, she thinks her plan is workin
she doesnft care that shefs jerkinf me
But let me tell you honey, all though it may sound funny
You still look pretty sexy to me

thatfs right – in those hideous pajamas

430 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10044 09:55

I rote a pohum
eevun thow I canot spel
I rime wen I tel.

431 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10045 08:51

I rate a poem
Did not make me contemplate

432 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10045 10:53

>>431 terrible haiku

433 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10065 23:24

People always say that my security's bad, sorry for data breaching!
Users complain, sayin' take it down, sorry for data breaching!
ISC2 don't like me, 'cause I'm the spotlight, sorry for data breaching!
When they talk s***, we just be like, sorry for data breaching!

434 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10066 15:31

While I nodded, nearly napping.
suddenly there came a clapping,
As of ass cheeks gently clapping,
clapping at my chamber door.
gtis a visitor," i muttered,
"dummy thicc, and nothing more"

435 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10069 09:57

i have a shit, i have a liberal
uh! shitlib
i have a liberal, i have a retard
uh! libtard
shitlib... libtard...
uh! horseshoe theory

436 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10076 18:39

professor Bigglesworth
experiences a dearth
of tight little butts
oh woe - it's grows late
he may have to masturbate

437 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10091 23:14

In days of old,
when knights were bold,
and toilets werenft invented,
theyfd drop their load upon the road,
and walk away contented.

But now today,
or so they say,
a stink is much resented,
and so we poo upon a loo,
because we aren't demented.

438 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10095 22:54

> Are you sure you mean Anglo-Saxon political traditions? Like, Angles and Saxons, the people of medieval England? Were you just trying to do a dog whistle and it got a little out of hand?

gNay,h said the America First Caucus. gTo the mead-hall!h
And with great clattering of sword and shield and mail-shirts
And plunder and heavy gold-wrought arm bands from their lord,
They went to the mead-hall, the shield-hall, the stronghold of Donald
And unfolded their minds, thus.
gAbsolutely we meant Anglo-Saxon political traditions!h cried they
Shield clanging on shield and helm on helm.
gWhat could be more American than this?h

> Did the Anglo-Saxons even know about America?

gHROTHGAR!h the caucus responded, with a loud cry. gHlothhere!
Do not all our laws begin with an unpronounceable eHR,f as befits an Anglo-Saxon?
Where is Wiglaf?! This is what we meant.
I ask nothing better than to sit in the throne-hall of my lord, ring-giver, great in arms
While a demon comes rampaging into the hall and wreaks woe,
And much do we thanes thole — this is precisely what I mean!h

> Whatfs all this about architecture?

gWattle-and-daub was well enough for Wiglaf,h cried the caucus,
gAnd well shall it be for me, in the hall of my lord and torque-bearer!
Stone is in the manner of the Romans, and I shun it for construction.
By European architecture, I meant a sturdy timber hall,
Lined with shields, and rich with plunder.
That is all the architecture I seek, and is definitely what I meant.h

> Okay. This seems like it was pretty clearly just supposed to be a dog whistle and now youfre tripling down.

gWhen I spoke,h cried Marjorie Taylor Greene, hammering shield with sword,
gI weighed each word! Let us have maethlfrith!
Let us have drihtinbeage! We must make America Geat again!
We shall be ruled by bailiffs and reeves,
And we shall give way before the law of Æthelberht!
Three shillings boot if a man strike another with a fist upon the nose!
No feax-fang without sore punishment! Hearken, ceorls!h
This is the Anglo-Saxon tradition and culture you had in mind? Itfs not just that you thought you were being subtle with your nativism and instead wound up committing yourself to a specific history and culture you didnft mean to?
Paul A. Gosar lifted his long arm, making merry with his mead
And unlocked his word-hoard, the treasure of his mind:
gWhat culture could we crave beyond the Dream of the Rood?
The Bede is Venerable enough for me. What man speaks against him?
We must revive the ancient American art of sitting by the sea lamenting the passing of our lord.
What could be more American than alliterative poetry about tearing the arm off Grendel,
Writ in a tongue none has spoke for a thousand year?
My thews are weary. We must take down this obelisk of stone and heave up a barrow
To give glory to our great Founders who have passed.
Ea-la! My kinsmen! Ea-la! A spear-bearing host!
Of the Constitution writ upon much vellum, we seek to know nothing.
We gaze with dour eyes upon the land of freedom and opportunity
Where voting happened even a limited amount
And representative government rules wheat-lands and peach-lands.
We long instead to exult in battle with our hammered blades,
Those classic American things that are very American.
America first, obviously! This all follows!h
And they clashed shield on shield, and a great shout went up.
Mail-shirt and sword resounded with a clang, and the caucus roared,
And the roar echoed where the sea-birds
Picked the carcass of the Republican Party.

439 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10097 08:55

I a woodpecker am
The tree I peck and peck
The beaver builds a dam
And the heron hath a long neck:
He plucketh from the water fish
If to 10 others you do not this poem recite
He'll fly into your kitchen tonight
And bring about a frenzy upon every pot and dish.

440 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10101 23:49

"aloha akbar", said the hawaiian terrorist
"it means hello, but it also means goodbye."

441 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10144 22:51

Edge Of A Ceiling


  O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts Down


  O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts Down

442 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10176 16:13

And you may find yourself
Watching Neopronoun discourse in the replies to genshin impact fan art
And you may ask yourself
How did I get here?

443 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10177 21:22

This was good. Creative rhyme scheme.

444 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10179 19:22

At the crossing 'tween
Long Lane and Short,
There once was seen
A certain sort.

Their hands hung low,
They spittled in spurts,
And long hair would grow
To cover some wart.

Those folks are long gone,
Now young ones cavort.
And they tell chilling stories
About Long Lane and Short.

445 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10226 21:40

six mixed pixie kids
switfly sift
pixie dust buckets

446 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10230 14:20

7-Day Candles, and I
Funk like myrrh

447 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10246 22:13

According to the Śvētāmbara version,
Parshva married Prabhavati,
And Mahāvīra married Yashoda
Who bore him a daughter named Priyadarshana

The two sects also differ on the origin of Trishala
(Mahāvīra's mother)
As well as the details of Tirthankara's biographies
Such as how many auspicious dreams their mothers had
When they were in the wombs.

448 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10263 19:00

i dipped thine hands into the pond
removing grit into the beyond
now it is frowned upon
the soils not black its bronze
dirt settles down and gets gone
words form a polymerization bond
the battle i won

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