I raise up
to only fall down
drown in the tears of the wallyb
for it is you that will have to be
TONIGHT
i have a shit, i have a liberal
uh! shitlib
i have a liberal, i have a retard
uh! libtard
shitlib... libtard...
uh! horseshoe theory
professor Bigglesworth
experiences a dearth
of tight little butts
oh woe - it's grows late
he may have to masturbate
In days of old,
when knights were bold,
and toilets weren’t invented,
they’d drop their load upon the road,
and walk away contented.
But now today,
or so they say,
a stink is much resented,
and so we poo upon a loo,
because we aren't demented.
> Are you sure you mean Anglo-Saxon political traditions? Like, Angles and Saxons, the people of medieval England? Were you just trying to do a dog whistle and it got a little out of hand?
“Nay,” said the America First Caucus. “To the mead-hall!”
And with great clattering of sword and shield and mail-shirts
And plunder and heavy gold-wrought arm bands from their lord,
They went to the mead-hall, the shield-hall, the stronghold of Donald
And unfolded their minds, thus.
“Absolutely we meant Anglo-Saxon political traditions!” cried they
Shield clanging on shield and helm on helm.
“What could be more American than this?”
> Did the Anglo-Saxons even know about America?
“HROTHGAR!” the caucus responded, with a loud cry. “Hlothhere!
Do not all our laws begin with an unpronounceable ‘HR,’ as befits an Anglo-Saxon?
Where is Wiglaf?! This is what we meant.
I ask nothing better than to sit in the throne-hall of my lord, ring-giver, great in arms
While a demon comes rampaging into the hall and wreaks woe,
And much do we thanes thole — this is precisely what I mean!”
> What’s all this about architecture?
“Wattle-and-daub was well enough for Wiglaf,” cried the caucus,
“And well shall it be for me, in the hall of my lord and torque-bearer!
Stone is in the manner of the Romans, and I shun it for construction.
By European architecture, I meant a sturdy timber hall,
Lined with shields, and rich with plunder.
That is all the architecture I seek, and is definitely what I meant.”
> Okay. This seems like it was pretty clearly just supposed to be a dog whistle and now you’re tripling down.
“When I spoke,” cried Marjorie Taylor Greene, hammering shield with sword,
“I weighed each word! Let us have maethlfrith!
Let us have drihtinbeage! We must make America Geat again!
We shall be ruled by bailiffs and reeves,
And we shall give way before the law of Æthelberht!
Three shillings boot if a man strike another with a fist upon the nose!
No feax-fang without sore punishment! Hearken, ceorls!”
This is the Anglo-Saxon tradition and culture you had in mind? It’s not just that you thought you were being subtle with your nativism and instead wound up committing yourself to a specific history and culture you didn’t mean to?
Paul A. Gosar lifted his long arm, making merry with his mead
And unlocked his word-hoard, the treasure of his mind:
“What culture could we crave beyond the Dream of the Rood?
The Bede is Venerable enough for me. What man speaks against him?
We must revive the ancient American art of sitting by the sea lamenting the passing of our lord.
What could be more American than alliterative poetry about tearing the arm off Grendel,
Writ in a tongue none has spoke for a thousand year?
My thews are weary. We must take down this obelisk of stone and heave up a barrow
To give glory to our great Founders who have passed.
Ea-la! My kinsmen! Ea-la! A spear-bearing host!
Of the Constitution writ upon much vellum, we seek to know nothing.
We gaze with dour eyes upon the land of freedom and opportunity
Where voting happened even a limited amount
And representative government rules wheat-lands and peach-lands.
We long instead to exult in battle with our hammered blades,
Those classic American things that are very American.
America first, obviously! This all follows!”
And they clashed shield on shield, and a great shout went up.
Mail-shirt and sword resounded with a clang, and the caucus roared,
And the roar echoed where the sea-birds
Picked the carcass of the Republican Party.
"aloha akbar", said the hawaiian terrorist
"it means hello, but it also means goodbye."
Edge Of A Ceiling
Front
O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts DownBack
O: It Thrusts Down
AD+O: It Thrusts DownAnd you may find yourself
Watching Neopronoun discourse in the replies to genshin impact fan art
And you may ask yourself
How did I get here?
At the crossing 'tween
Long Lane and Short,
There once was seen
A certain sort.
Their hands hung low,
They spittled in spurts,
And long hair would grow
To cover some wart.
Those folks are long gone,
Now young ones cavort.
And they tell chilling stories
About Long Lane and Short.
six mixed pixie kids
switfly sift
sixty-six
pixie dust buckets
I
Burn
7-Day Candles, and I
SPIN
Funk like myrrh
According to the Śvētāmbara version,
Parshva married Prabhavati,
And Mahāvīra married Yashoda
Who bore him a daughter named Priyadarshana
The two sects also differ on the origin of Trishala
(Mahāvīra's mother)
As well as the details of Tirthankara's biographies
Such as how many auspicious dreams their mothers had
When they were in the wombs.
i dipped thine hands into the pond
removing grit into the beyond
now it is frowned upon
the soils not black its bronze
dirt settles down and gets gone
words form a polymerization bond
the battle i won
Please inseminate my goat, Gil,
Please inseminate my goat.
She likes it when you grab her throat, Gil,
Then inseminate my goat.
Altogether now
I'm DQN
Raised by a hen
My home, my den
Razed with a pen
Jehovah wasn’t all that they Witnessed that day, as I took a pamphlet and stuffed it down my bum crack
Following some well-lit* Acts of bloody ultra-onanism,
Her daughter - despite so many hollow years between us -
Offers burnt daisies
She died on an upright spike in an earlier life
Passed down to the wire, and preach to the choir
A long time has passed since the war within
A soul laid bare through coded ceremonies
After only five to ten well-lit Acts of gory ultra-onanism
She was LED to think of it in such gauche terms as this
The way Yahweh relaxed input
The way fluid ignores her bath
*light emitting diodes (LEDs)
uhhh ding dang
uh doo doo
dang dinga
braaaaappfffftt
dooodoo poopoo
Your pulchritudinous puffs
Are imploding my tympanics
Please purchase a pop filter
Posthaste!
A love song of Shu-Suen (Shu-Suen B): translation
Man of my heart, my beloved man, your allure is a sweet thing, as sweet as honey. Lad of my heart, my beloved man, your allure is a sweet thing, as sweet as honey.
You have captivated me (?), of my own free will I will come to you. Man, let me flee with you -- into the bedroom. You have captivated me (?); of my own free will I shall come to you. Lad, let me flee with you -- into the bedroom.
Man, let me do the sweetest things to you. My precious sweet, let me bring you honey. In the bedchamber dripping with honey let us enjoy over and over your allure, the sweet thing. Lad, let me do the sweetest things to you. My precious sweet, let me bring you honey.
Man, you have become attracted to me. Speak to my mother and I will give myself to you; speak to my father and he will make a gift of me. I know where to give physical pleasure to your body -- sleep, man, in our house till morning. I know how to bring heart's delight to your heart -- sleep, lad, in our house till morning.
Since you have fallen in love with me, lad, if only you would do your sweet thing to me.
My lord and god, my lord and guardian angel, my Cu-Suen who cheers Enlil's heart, if only you would handle your sweet place, if only you would grasp your place that is sweet as honey.
Put your hand there for me like the cover (?) on a measuring cup. Spread (?) your hand there for me like the cover (?) on a cup of wood shavings.
It is a balbale of Inana.
can barely remember when this was, but
this one time i wanted to visit monticello because it wasn't far and wouldn't take me too long, but
it turns out you have to pay for tickets which is fair enough i guess, but
that would have put the trip over budget, so
Well you finally funged my monkey
Yes you finally funged my monkey
Yes we finally
funged your
monkey
N-F-T
Bereft of QUALITY, I drift alone.
The Internet no longer provides a home.
Bereft of options, I masturbate to Pone,
Until I degrade into a filthy gnome
With ears full of porn noise drone.
I'm so alone
And it's late at night
I hope no one phone
While it's late at night
I may have found why every Swiss I've met has been a bitch
It's not as if the banks are making normal people rich
I miss you little strawberry, now you're so far away
I yearn for your enormous tongue each and every day
With texture like a peanut shell, you tickled every cranny
You guided me through Penis Hell and then I licked your fanny
I moistened up your USB, you did the same to me
The way you blocked my air supply was truly ecstasy
You left your sticky residue, it tastes like fine French wine
I close my eyes and fantasise, our bodies intertwine
Come back to me hot mama, I think you're really cool
I know it's an acquired taste, this semen from a bull
I'm sorry that I made you cry, the spunk was just too fizzy
When you left without a word you left me feeling dizzy
So come back honeybunny, I want all your saliva
If I don't have you next to me, I don't think I'll survive-a
Some shitty goatse poetry, courtesy of the Sageru IRC GPT3 bot with some mild cleanup courtesy of me.
The initial prompt,
gpt3: give a long, highly verbose description of "goatse" in 19th century poetic language
was given three times, and the three poems outputted edited together into this:
Oh, goatse, what a sight to behold!
A most peculiar and curious sight,
A sight that would make one's heart grow cold,
A deep, dark cold that fills one with fright.
A gaping maw, wide and deep,
An immense hole that will cloud your sleep.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
A sight that would make one's heart grow cold,
A sight that would make one's stomach churn,
A sight that would make one's courage burn.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.
A man, with his back to the viewer,
His posterior exposed, a most curious pose.
Hands stretched wide, wide as a sewer,
A sight that would make one's stomach close.
A most curious image, a most curious sight,
A sight that would make one's heart take flight.
A man, with his back to the viewer,
His posterior exposed, a most curious feature.
The maw of a most horrific creature.
A man with a gaping hole in his backside,
A man with a gaping hole that was wide.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.
A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.
A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with dread.
A most curious sight, a sight to behold,
The sight of a man with a gaping hole.
A man with a gaping hole that was wide,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with pride,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with dread,
A man with a gaping hole that was filled with shame.
>>461
Definitely going to be sharing this one with the literary society.
Watching the shrinking friend list over the years
Inactivity and no chats
Antisocial network fading away
Fading away
Suckin me off in the bathroom
Stuffin my ass with his dong
Fillin me softly with his cum
Fillin me
Softly
With his cum
Spendin my whole life
With his schlong
Fillin me softly
With his cuuuuUUUuuuuUuuUUUUuuuummm
piss on the floor.
shit on the door.
when you get bored then just do it some more.
my rhymes are piss poor
I cannot be ignored
prepare to get blasted
its a full on piss war
hey dough kyun I have not been here in a year or three or five I forgot it existed
here is my rhyme I wrote it in a minecraft book just today
Here mid the 'ther
thou quondam were
attending to thy drubbing
I came, you went
to heaven sent
now part thy loins for rubbing
For what's a flow'r
at any hour
if not for bees to cherish
Your eyes alight
your pokies bright
your pusy (sp) glowing garish
I see your need
thus 'llow me Sneed
ere I give you the Chucking
Your lips may purse
let slip a curse
just 'llow me do the fucking
Thy burning lips
'twixt netherhips
are screaming for a dicking
Thy bean is swole
thy mind unwhole
thy clit shall get a flicking
>>467
my book has sneed in it as well
This city is lonely without you.
It's a sickening thought;
reminds me of a shitty Rupi Kaur line
that I scoffed at in a shitty cafe.
I didn't know you, then,
so it was easy to laugh at the woman
who, shit at writing as she was,
had somehow touched the core.
The flailing, feeble attempt of mankind
to capture that wordless feeling
inflicted by the ones they loved,
that swelled in their chests
and filled them so wholly,
and left them so empty--
just watching someone try was
a deeply moving sight.
This is a haiku
OP is a fat faggot
Longcat is long lulz
And the crowds below kept weeping
as my anus went on seeping,
dripping freely without cause,
bathing all in brown applause.
To set the mood
Firewater in the morning
Being a pseud
Never felt so smooth
Rhoda was in a Dreadful State
When She got Raped
She expressed her life
With 2 Tone Vibes
She Might now want to vape
If She Still alive
Shell never get over that Rape
Its Just the Same olde
Show
With a man that Knows
How to linger then finger
God our World is So fucking Sick
Im Glad Im Into Dick
What Women who Reads this
feels like a olde Boiler
Pecker's set to testify, a hopeful sign,
At Trump's trial, shedding light, a promising line,
His impending testimony, a storm on the rise,
Bodes well for Democracy, as truths materialize.
I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: a shitty queerbait ship
Stands in the desert. Near it, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered fandom lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tells that its fans well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on those lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
"My name is DESTIEL, King of Ships:
Look on MY website, ye mighty, and despair!"
No thing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
CHIM chim-i-ney, CHIM chim-i-ney, CHIM CHIM cher-ee!
I is what I yam, and I yam what I be.
CHIM chim-i-ney, CHIM chim-i-ney, CHIM CHIM cher-oo!
Dick van Dyke is so old he's outliven you.
You look like a monkey, and you smell like one, too.
I hereby grant you permission
to taste my chocolate emission
She's so kawaii so I try so hard to make her squee
She's so kawaii can't deny she's the one for me
She's so kawaii in her eyes I see my destiny
Why won't she wake up and notice me
Sou desu ne
Foetid foaming feces
Flatulent farts
Flush.
I might be lactose intolerant
Would you believe
they put a man on the moon, man on the moon?
Could you conceive
there's nothing out there to see and nothing to do?
Jar-Jar Binks
kinda stinks
but give a chance to his
passionate jizz
First, Elon came for the wokes,
And I did not speak out—
For I was not woke.
Then Elon came for the leftists,
And I did not speak out—
For I was not a leftist.
Then Elon came for the Democrats,
And I did not speak out—
For I was not a Democrat.
Then Elon came for the scientists,
And I did not speak out—
For I was not a scientist.
Then Elon came for the gamers,
And there was no one left to speak for me.
Why
Justify
Just try
BURMA SHAVE
Ciao bella, I'm Tomaso, addicted to tobacco
Mi like mi coffè very importante
No time to talk, scusi, my days are very busy
And I just own this little ristorante
Life may give you lemons when dancing with the demons
No stresso, no stresso, no need to be depresso
Mi amore, mi amore
Espresso macchiato, macchiato, macchiato
Por favore, por favore
Espresso macchiato corneo
Mi amorе, mi amore
Espresso macchiato, macchiato, macchiato
Por favore, por favorе
Espresso macchiato
Espresso macchiato
Mi like to fly privati with twenty-four carati
Also mi casa very grandioso
Mi money numeroso, I work around the clocko
That's why I'm sweating like a mafioso
Life is like spaghetti, it's hard until you make it
No stresso, no stresso, it's gonna be espresso
Mi amore, mi amore
Espresso macchiato, macchiato, macchiato
Por favore, por favore
Espresso macchiato
Espresso macchiato
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Espresso macchiato
Espresso macchiato