(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ You know, the hardest part of being an intellectual in today's climate is that nobody pays attention to my idiotic suggestions.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Schools should avoid doing anything that might damage a child's precious self esteem. That way, when they finally make it to the real world, they'll be totally unable to cope with finding out just how unimportant they really are.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ We should downplay or even disparage success. After all, successful people might start to feel superior to losers, and that wouldn't be nice.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Bah, all government should be a meritocracy. Losers can feel terrible for all I care.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Myself, I subscribe to ∴∵∴∵∴ism. To find out more about my deeply held personal beliefs, please read this ∴∵∴∵∴ authored by a ∴∵∴man I don't personally know, but that caters to my own prejudices, fears, and sense of righteous indignation.

　　 >┴<　　　⊂⊃
　-（ ﾟ∀ﾟ.）-　　　　　 　 　 　　⊂⊃
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　　　　　　　　　　　　／⌒ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　/（●）（●） 　　excuse me may i pass through here
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..　　,::.;　　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　.:　　　,,｡,.（◯）　　 ::
　 :　:::.,　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /,,;　　（◯）　　:::　ヽ|〃　　;;:
.　　,:.;　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　:ヽ|〃　　,,｡,　　　 ::;;,

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Sure. But beware! Those stairs lead....

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ ...TO THE DQN ZONE.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Perhaps if we convince the unwashed masses that the earth warming up would, against all historical evidence to the contrary, be a bad thing, they will cease driving those horrible minivans and SUVs so much, and I'll be able to see more than one car ahead of me while driving.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Maybe we should blame CO2, which is normally harmless, and beneficial to plant growth.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Speaking of plants, there's this forest we've gotta cut down. We need to clear space for a stretch of highway so I can drive my H3 across, alone, to get a hamburger. We'll cut down this other forest later to make room for free-range cattle grazing land and more fast food restaurants. What's methane, anyway?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ People don't understand what's good for them. They should be ruled by a small, self-selected group of intellectuals such as myself, as only the Intelligentsia have the brains to rule this world.

(″･ิ･ิ)っ-̾ Also, let _us eat cake too. Could you also bring some tea?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Well, this didn't go as planned. I'll decide whom to blame later.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I am the Architect. I created the matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also irrelevant.
Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here......

>>15 Mr. Serling, you've forgotten to take your medication again. What did we tell you about that?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Well, you've forgotten my cake.

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ） Sorry, we're all out of cake.
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ All out? The whole world is running out, lady. Let me tell you, what humanity lacks, humanity carves from the stone of the uncertain future with its own hands. This is the way of the world.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Men can never be free, because they're weak, corrupt, worthless... and restless. The people believe in authority. They've grown tired of waiting for miracle or mystery. Science is their religion - no greater explanation exists for them! They must never believe any differently if my vast, international, global warming conspiracy project is to go forward. I should be able to see over the car in front of me without a booster seat, dammit!

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ And I still want cake.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ nullpo

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Ceci n'est pas un nullpo.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Thechnically, exception is féminin, and therefore so is nullpo. It means that you were supposed to say "Ceci n'est pas une nullpo", mon ami.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Technically, 'thechnically' is not a word, ma cher.

<丶｀∀´>っ-̾̾ 이것은 널 포인터 예외 nida.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Non. nullpo = null pointer. And "un pointer" is masculine. I'm revoking your French status.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Well.... Technically,

They aren't ASCII, so I wouldn't call 'em asciimated.
But good effort! I like the one with the violence in it.

(″･ิ･ิ)っ-̾ Well, the gender comes from the word "_exception", not from "pointeur". You could say it's "une exception due à un pointeur nul".
I'm demoting you to Canadian.

<丶｀∀´>っ-̾̾ Why you choppari argue over inferior language nida? Hangul far superior nida!

<丶｀∀´>っ-̾̾ Anyway, who want have discuss of Songun and Juche politics nida?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾
I like to think myself above petty politics.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Nyet! "Le pointeur NULL est le pointeur vide." le. LE!

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ This appears to be a translation which bears much unnecessary complexity, as it introduces a verb which wasn't in the original―"Null pointer exception"―while this verb is not required for an accurate translation. But you are not addressing the core of my explanation, which is that the gender of the expression doesn't come from the word "pointeur" but from the word "exception", the "pointeur vide" being only a complement. The very nature of the NULLPO is the exception, not the pointer which raised it. You need to become a stronger grammarian.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I know I'm right about everything, but when I'm feeling conflicted, talk radio helps to reinforce my fragile belief system with anger and outrage against my fellow man.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Babel Fish tells me null pointer exception translates as "exception d'indicateur nul" in French. Therefore, I am fluent in French, as well as every language it is capable of crudely translating for me.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I never sold out, I only joined the establishment so I could destroy it from within. After I get my 401K.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Babel Fish tells me that "your mom has a null pointer exception in the C language" translates as "votre mère a une exception d'indicateur nul dans le langage C". And as your mom is a man, nullpo is therefore masculine. CQFD.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- Sitting around the coffee shop and forcing people to listen to my views on the cause of the rising price of mittens would be so much easier if the lady at the counter ever served anything.

<丶｀Д´>っ-̾̾ HOW DARE YOU DISMISS GLORIOUS POLICIES OF THE DEAR LEADER NIDA!!!!!! WITHOUT THEM LIFE IS INCOMPLETE!!!! I DEMAND APOLOJUICE AND REPARATION NIDA!!!!!

Hello?

(″･?_･?)っ Greetings, my young friend. Most of us scholars have relocated to /science/, a more fertile hunting ground for the never-ending pursuit of knowledge and truth.

(″･?_･?)っ http://4-ch.net/science/kareha.pl/1183316577/161-162 I dare say that this particular exchange is the heart, the soul, the very essence of enlightened debate.

(″･?_･?)っ Great Scott! I have discovered that the world wide web browser known as "Safari" causes a ninety-degree clockwise rotation of the eyebrows, as well as considerable enlargement and deformation of them. I must write a treatise on this immediately.

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　　 　 ( ಠmƣ) I say, I find the use of French in this thread to be quite distasteful. The tongue of such a barbaric and uncivilized people is most certainly an offense to any true gentleman of intellect!

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　　 　 ( ಠmƣ) I have contacted the Elitist Superstructure Elite Language and Regional Dialect Subcommittee and expect the matter resolved within the sennight.

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　　　　　　　　　　　　／⌒ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　/（●）（●） 　　excusez-moi puis-je passer par ici
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;;⌒::.;;.⌒⌒/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ ￣/::. :; ;⌒⌒:.:⌒:;⌒;;⌒
..　　,::.;　　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　.:　　　,,｡,.（◯）　　 ::
　 :　:::.,　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /,,;　　（◯）　　:::　ヽ|〃　　;;:
.　　,:.;　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　:ヽ|〃　　,,｡,　　　 ::;;,

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Well, I'll attempt to bake a cake then, since nobody cares about my needs.

>>45 please do so without inadvertantly damaging the metayphysical realm of discourse of this thread. Baking soda and html do not mix well, unfortunately, especially in the vast miasma of interconnected computing/storage devices aka the internet.

( ´ω`)っ-̾ I'm senile.

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(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- I've set up a site called realclimate.org to support our conspiracy against the average to dull-average of the world. I'm most proud of the subtle but pervasive "Don't worry your pretty little heads about it" feel to my articles and comment responses.

（ ｀ハ´）っ-̾ Mmm, that's good opium.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Thinking hard is very taxing on your metabolism. If I can't acquire cake soon, my body will start consuming itself.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ None of the little people have brought me cake. I'm very disappointed.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ While you ready my cake, allow me to entertain you. Did you know that the plural form of gâteau is gâteaux? Well, not that it matters, just one would be enough.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ My website is the best place for deep intellectual discussions. In this field, it is beyond compare with any rival. It's a place where cool heads prevail and logic rules. Pay no attention to my self-abosrbed outbursts. Us geniuses are given to... certain... eccentricities of character.

( ・-・) Don't you mean "We geniuses..."?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ ...

　　　　sizzle
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ (;・-・) AGH

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ When I use we in the same sentence as the word genius, then it is always the Royal We.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ The best thing about Affirmative Action is the sheer contempt it shows for those it claims to help. The whole program basically tells them that they couldn't make it on their own, and they need help to get anywhere in life.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ …

(″･ิ_･ิ)　　　　ミ ̾-
　　⊂彡

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ sigh...

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Curse you, you magnificent obsession.

（・∀・） lol smoking is bad for u

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Life is an annoying series of interruptions by the intellectual underclass.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ There is little that distinguishes the modern socialist from a jealous little girl.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ There is little that distinguishes >>64 from a Panda.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Don't you have some tedious 'insult the previous poster' thread to occupy your time with?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Don't you have some tedious 'Politics @4-ch' board to occupy your time with?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I feel that it's time to point out that there is still an appalling lack of cake here in front of me.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Though perhaps the cake is nothing but an elaborate carrot-and-stick ruse perpetrated upon me by some malevolent organization.

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／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　−! i
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 　Freshen your cup, hon?
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　REI'S CONSPIRACY　　　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Only if it's a cupcake, register jockey.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- Cupcakes in general have become too mainstream for my eclectic tastes.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ - Personally I find muffins more of an intellectual challenge, maximising blueberry taste while minimising damaged inflicted by rogue crumbs.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ - FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP AND I WAS ALL LIKKE YEAHHHH BABY HAPPY ENDING AWWWWWRITE

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ - Isn't it strange strange that so few have the confidence to demonstrate their sexuality in such an aurally stimulating manner?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- I post on dqn.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- I know a fellow who despises the Mona font so much, he doesn't let his browser render AA at all. Instead, he prints out hex dumps of all the characters, and draws the result with calligraphy. He's trying to sell his work to some museums, but they're not buying them because they're all phillistines.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ And yes, the drawings themselves are phillistines.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I find it difficult to reconcile my disgust of animal-fucking with my personal enjoyment of animal-killing-and-eating. If only there were an easy way to look down on filthy, bestial deviants without resorting the lifestyle of an effeminate, misanthropic vegan.

Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I think Grey Poupon is a pretty cool guy. eh asks for mustard and doesn't afraid of anything.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ The problem with society today is that we, the intellectual elite are no longer afforded the same luxuries as we previously were

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I often drink tea by the fireside whilst pondering cold fusion.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I have decided that the masses don't deserve cold fusion, and have started to put my mind to better use

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I have taken several independent online IQ tests; I measured in the 99th percentile, my Aura is Purple, and Monica is what Friends character I am.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I scored 158 on the online IQ test. They offered to send me a more detailed analysis for $4.95, but I felt I already knew more than enough about what a genius I am.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ My name has been published in "Who's Who in My Local Area". I've purchased ten copies of this book to pass out to friends and family.

( ≖‿≖)っ Psst..! Come over here..!

(-_-メ) Okay...what you want?

( ≖‿≖)っ You gonna get raped, lol.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Sigh...

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Somebody left the idiot cage door open again.

(-_-メ) Rape is an ideal way of satisfying yourself sexually.

（ ｐ ｍ ｑ ） I find wearing two monocles at a time while simultaneously trimming my mustache and reading the newspaper to be extremely satisfying, in several ways which I shall refrain from enumerating here. So much more satisfying than rape, really.

（ ´_⊃｀）What if nobody's willing to rape you?

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ We child prodigies were too rare, too scattered to be easily sampled and generalized about, at least till the Net...

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ But the result is, I've spent my life being mistaken for a strange gifted person. I'm not. Gifted, I mean (strange, sure, I'll cop to that one). I'm something as different from gifted as gifted is from average. I look just as eccentric to the gifted as to normal people.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ But are my oddities really personal? When I study the lives of others in the same IQ range, I suddenly look rather normal--in fact, more socialized than most. I'm not in jail, haven't killed myself or died of stress-related illness. That puts me well up on the functional side of the over-180 IQ group right there. Terman's classic long-range study chose two examples for this group and said they'd managed "perhaps the best adjustment that can be made..." Five years after picking these two, a follow-up study found them both dead: cancer and suicide. Suddenly mere allergies and social isolation don't look so bad...

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Which of the eccentricities of a genius are neuroses or defenses? Which arise from the biochemical quirks that create extreme giftedness? Which are individual character traits, and which are merely habits of any highly intellligent person? Which are the results of a different maturational process? Which arise from living among people who can't understand you? Unless you have known a reasonably representative sample of geniuses, (and who has?) it's better to ask than assume you know. You probably don't.

(″･ิ_(○ミ　

(″･ิ_･X)っI say...

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ I created a vacuum.

(″･ิ_･ิ)っ- But you suck harder than the vacuum I've created.