>>2 not only quotes a momentarily relevant bit from Monty Python, he just barfs out the whole scene in a right 'orrible fake British accent.
>>3 ENJOYS GRINDING FOR THE RIGHT EVS, IVS AND NATURES 24/7
>>4 Did several case mods to his desktop computer to make it look like ENIAC.
>>11 came back from Reitaisai5 with $200 in discs and other merchandise.
>>17 sews tribble outfits with front and back flaps for"easy access"
>>18 kneels at the altar of his signed Patrick Stewart photograph every day.
>>20's lifestyle is like that of the South Park episode "Make love not Warcraft."
>>22 spends more money on his comic book collection than he does on food.
>>23 fucked a guy while wearing a Klingon costume he bought from an ad in a Richie Rich comic book.
>>27 can't masturbate without fantasizing about Star Trek characters.
>>38 once argued about why Digimon is superior to Pokemon for a week
>>49 does marriage counseling for marriages between people and Touhou hugpillows.
>>51 Can list every single movie made by TOHO, and has 1,298 different TOHO collectible statues to prove it.
>>53 is Soulja boy, and called a Gundam a Transformer only because it was part of an elaborate trolling plan on the secret rapper-Gundam BBS that he helped to found and on which he is an admin.
>>54 thinks Space Runaway Ideon is superior to any Gundam series, except G Gundam.
>>66 is the inventor of a language consisting of only palindromes.
>>70 participated in 90% of those archived internet messageboard talks
>>71 was afraid to participate because he is an anonymous coward.
>>75 is DADDY COOL, a VIPPE Rand owsn a SECRET area of VIP QUALITY
>>86 is roughly nine-hundred and forty percent more likely to become a multi-millionaire than the average football jock.
>>87 masturbated to the Macross Frontier soundtrack at least 6 times today.
>>88 posted a youtube video of itself doing the Nyan-Nyan Dance.
>>90 complains daily about the lack of gender-neutral pronouns in the English language.
>>91 doesn't understand the problem of having to choose a non masculine pronoun since he has never seen a woman.
>>92 Has a permanent butt print on his chair because his fat ass spends 16 hours a day there.
>>94 has permanent grip marks on his penis because his fat ass spends 16 hours a day playing with his cock
>>97 is an expert troll, trying to set me up to do a "grinding" joke.
>>104 thinks he should be recruited by the Star League to defeat the Kodan armada, because he plays space shooters when not playing an MMORPG.
>>112 Spends a lot of time searching youtube for retro anime.
>>114 Knows every name of every Transformer robot, what years each one appeared, and each variant of each robot.
>>115
Spends hours theory-crafting on how all of the Zelda games can fit into one canon story.
>>117 spends all his food, clothing, and housing money on crudely drawn yaoi doujinshi
>>118 spends all his food and clothing money on crudely drawn yaoi doujinshi, but lives with his mother
>>119 not only lives with his mother, but also bullies her into making all of his cosplay costumes, the lazy bastard.
>>121 Gets into contests about how many digits of pi he can remember.
>>122 wins contests about how many digits of pi he can remember.
>>124 made $10,000 in high school by selling correct test answers, and then spent it all on a new in box old Star Trek toy.
>>125 dreams of having a mint-in-box old Star Trek toy, and faps furiously while doing so.
>>130 Paid a prostitute to have sex, but couldn't ejaculate until he strated thinking about catgirls.
>>131 has a creepy catgirl outfit that he dresses up in to masturbate.
>>134 Shattered his vacuum tube because he slipped while moving his pile of Einstein books.
>>135
01100011011000010110111000100000
0111001001100101011000010110010000100000
011000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001
>>136 owns a shirt that says "There are only 10 types of people in the world - Those who understand binary and those who don't" on it.
>>139 Has spent half of his life trying to refute the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
>>147 was photshopped into a female anthromorph, and then fapped on.
>>150 waited for days to make his post because he loves Pokémon.
>>151 learned the keyboard shortcuts to produce é, è, ê, ẽ, ē, ĕ, ė, ë, ě, ȅ, ȩ, ề, ế, ễ, and even ǝ
>>152 actually looked up how to pronounce é, è, ê, ẽ, ē, ĕ, ė, ë, ě, ȅ, ȩ, ề, ế, ễ, and even ǝ.
>>154 Has spent 20 years trying to build a machine that goes faster than the speed of light.
>>162 Once was awake for 3 days debating about why Star Trek TNG is inferior to the first season of Star Trek.
>>166 nearly went bankrupt buying stupid crap on ebay, until he sold that same stupid crap on ebay.
>>170 does his AD&D calculations using a program which he programmed on his ti-83. He also doesn't trust dice rolls for the chance of the number not being entirely random due to the probability of the dice having weights in them or being have made in China, so he generates random numbers using the same calculator.
>>176 has the Lisp Alien tattooed in a place that no woman will ever see.
>>177 has "made with secret alien technology" tattooed in a place that no woman will ever see... his penis.
>>180 added a "needs more ______" to a joke that actually was funny.
>>181 took a funny picture and made an unfunny macro out of it.
>>182 took that unfunny macro and integrated it into every aspect of his life.
>>184 Can't change his underwear without yelling "MAI PANTSU! MAKE UP!" and waving a magic wand simultaneously.
>>185 Insists that the 1980 version of HG2G is better than the 2005 version.
>>189 would only ever get caught speeding while driving drunk because hey it was a DeLorean with a flux capacitor and a plutonium supply
>>190 would try to make a blue-shift joke to the cop to get out of the speeding ticket.
>>191 Spends a ton of money on the newest CPU, and the first thing he does is overclock it until it stops working.
>>192 told a girl in his class that she looks like the female replicant in bladerunner
>>193 Told a girl in his class the she has Mai Shiranui boobs.
>>199 refers to one of his train-themed mechamusume figures as "mai waifu~".
>>200 operates an anonymous "semen on train-themed mechamusume figures" imageboard
>>203 read Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
>>206 sings along to ``We Conjure the Spirits of the Computer with our Spells'' every night.
>>209 maintains a massive collection of neo-geo cartridges, but refuses to play any of them, even the already used duplicate titles.
>>210 Has a mint in box Nintendo ROB, mint in box Sega Master System, and every cartridge and accessory ever made for each system.
They used >>212's life story to script The 40 Year Old Virgin.
>>213 Built his own particle beam accelerator out of stuff sold at Radio Shack.
>>216's blog is only for discussion about weatherproof overcoats
>>218 Prefers to fill his blog with discussions about white briefs.
>>222 never wears an HEV suit, as he never leaves the basement.
>>224 was inspired by this and folded 50 WUs in a single night using a cluster he made from computer parts his friends let him borrow.
>>225 is sad that he had no one to borrow computer parts from to make such a cluster.
>>226 never misses an opportunity to post a Beowulf cluster joke on Slashdot.
>>231 drives an electric car powered by a miniature arc reactor he built in a cave from a BOX OF SCRAPS
>>238 can freely translate between elvish, orcish and klingon
One day, a 39 year old women with a ticking biological clock said "Dear Jesus, please send somebody to get me pregnant." >>242 appeared, and the woman said "I take that back."
>>243 Is a Debu-Otaku, he has a lot of stuff about DEBU ONNA.
>>244 attempts to force cross-thread pollination every chance he gets.
>>245 attempts to be forced to cross-dress every chance he gets
>>246 spends 10 hours a day sorting, categorizing, and labeling his shotacon picture collection.
>>247
is a failing-to-being-loved fujoshi who stalks at other fujoshis and dreams of a beautiful, romantic bf and ends up being deceived and being raped mercilessly by some "monsters"!
>>248 Attempted to duplicate the Tron lightcycle scene using a Vespa scooter and a flag.
>>250 immediately thinks of FLCL when he sees the word "Vespa."
>>252 Says things that make about as much sense as FLCL to ordinary people.
>>262 desperately tries to avoid offending people in hopes that they won't beat him up.
>>263 gets beat up a lot and is jealous of others who try to avoid it.
>>266 lurks in Internet forums day after day, waiting for the opportunity to accuse some random person of trolling.
>>278 spent several weeks mastering pronunciation of the 'r' in 'Sakura Kinomoto'
>>288 is a very popular and respected member of many anthropomorphic sex communities who draws his own characters having sex in diapers, before doing it for real disguised at a convention.
>>291 created his own wikipedia fork because he was unhappy with the direction of the article Sources and influences on the development of Dungeons & Dragons.
>>292
Writes custom CSS for every page he visits in order to place a semi-transparent picture of Captain James T Kirk in the background.
>>293
Is a a cool web designer who uses most of his time, coding.......
>>302 Would rather 42GET in a Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy thread.
>>306 will go into a fit of pure blinding rage when someone claims Picard is superior to Kirk.
>>307
Has several websites dedicated to proving his point of view.
>>310 spends that money on the websites, rather than beer and bitches
>>311 Can't donate to those websites because he spent a fortune on his wormhole generator that hasn't even accomplished anything yet.
>>312 Successfully found the way how to contact with another interstellar civilization and was extremely rich due to his dark past.
>>313 thinks that would make an award winning comic book series
>>323 used a back button in a “hardcore” browser that doesn’t prompt you to resend forms.
>>331 Can have a serious debate about Dragonlance vs. Forgotten Realms
>>336 Has a hard time making friends because he tends to state the obvious.
>>337 drinks more Bawls than the average person drinks water.
>>338 Knows everything involving the Slayers rock band and anime.
>>341 Is on the chess team, with the AV and glee club, speaks JavaScript as fluently as he speaks Klingon, and does vector calculus just for fun.
>>342 likes to reference popular culture because he knows it makes him funny.
>>351 spends his days linking articles to Jimbo Wales on Wikipedia.
>>354 is an average person who, through great time and expense, found the IP of Jimbo Wales' home PC, and using 1337 h4xx0r 5k1llz, turned it into his own personal proxy which he uses to browse the internet, hoping for someone to recognize the IP and mistake him for Jimbo Wales.
>>355 is Jimbo Wales, scaling the internet high and low in hopes of exposing the luser using his IP as a proxy by flattering random bbs users
>>358
Is such a nerd I don't even have to point it out. Just look at his post.
>>359 sometimes wishes he didn't have to hide his intellect while talking to hot girls.
>>360 sometimes wishes he could hide his small penis while taking his pants off in front of hot girls.
>>361 will never get the chance to take his pants off in front of hot girls.
>>362 has taken his pants off in front of hot two dimensional girls.
>>364 takes off his shirt and hes ripped. ok so some fine bitch comes in and starts grinding harry. harry says dayum gurrel and hits that. well guess what the dime was actually voldemort. harry fucked voldemort and he liked it. thye do it again and get gay married
>>365 got all teary-eyed writing that story.
Actually, I got kind of teary-eyed reading it.
>>368 was been raped by his long lost sweet looking cousin who was also a fujoshi and a loner to which she can't handle her cousin's cuteness after she accidentally hit him while playing SD Gundam online. Both of then later falls in love and starts making love almost everyday due to nobody likes them and hides their act from their parents..
>>369 dreams of this every night and faps to it in the morning.
>>372 built and programmed a virtual panda to keep him company.
>>376 Is frustrated because his NGE pillow fell apart recently.
>>377 is feeling smug because his Moetan pillow recently arrived.
>>378 Just finished typing his credit card number into a website that sells 2 Ruri pillows for the price of 1.
>>383 secretly wants a hugpillow. Maybe then he wouldn't be so very very alone.
>>384 made avatars of all his friends in The Sims 2 and made them have sex with each other.
>>384 was the only friend who didn't complain; he asked for the data to use on his game.
>>386 wouldn't have fucked that up if he wasn't switching between DQN and hentai.
THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME NERD?
>>391 does not want to be the thread-killer, and so I'm helping him to not be.
>>393 Cosplays as a Ghostbuster and yells "Don't cross the streams!" while peeing at a trough urinal.
>>394 Is working on a time machine just so he can see Akira the day it hit the theater.
>>395 attempted to transform his room into a small cinema using a few rickety old wooden chairs and both his friends, so he could pretend, if just for a few moments, that he was attending the Akira premiere.
>>396 rides around on his segway yelling "TETSUOOOOOOOOOOO" at old ladies.
>>397 Commissioned a motorcycle customizer to make a duplicate of the famous motorcycle in Akira. He had to sell the rarest comic book in his collection in order to afford it.
>>398 frequently induces headaches upon himself in hopes of developing telekinetic powers. Unfortunately this only has the effect that his head hurts a lot and attains extremely hard erections.
>>404
Is such a noob that he didn't make a joke about his post being 404.
>>405 is such a nerd he noticed 404 is the same as an HTTP error code.
>>407 Writes his own custom HTML error pages featuring an anime character shaking her head.
>>409 didn't make a joke about formula 409 so therefore he is a n0ob.
>>411 sometimes fantasizes about being ravaged by feisty polymer chains.
>>413 Doesn't use a parachute to skydive. He uses the greatest Gatchaman cosplay ever.
>>416 The trekkie who has never been defeated in a "Spock is superior to Kirk" argument finished in a draw with the trekkie that never was defeated in a "Kirk is superior to Spock" argument.
They then put aside their differences in order to prove that Star Trek is superior to Star Wars.
>>420 has had wistful dreams about being a Babylon 5 character, only to wake up and feel horribly, horribly alone.
>>423 is collaborating with Clonepa #46 to turn his post into a visual novel.
>>428 secretly wishes he was a mahou shoujo like Sailor Moon, so he could dress up in cute costumes with ribbons on them.
>>430 tries to find all the connections between Tsubasa and Cardcaptor Sakura.
>>431 is a connection between Tsubasa and Cardcaptor Sakura, seeing as how he's intently watched and read everything ever released by CLAMP.
>>432 Went to an eye surgeon to have his eyes appear more anime-like. The surgeon misunderstood, and proceeded to use lasik and get rid of those nerdy glasses.
>>434 wrote a search algorithm rivaling that of Google which scours the internet looking for and cataloging anime references in forum posts made by people who are most likely girls. He has not acted on this information yet.
>>435 Owns the soundtrack CD to every hit videogame that had one, plus several soundtrack CDs from umpopular videogames. For videogames that never had a soundtrack CD he made a file format converter, burned the converted files to a disc, and then printed a disc label that looks like the real thing.
>>438 makes ample usage of double-quoting to save himself from using his squeaky, terribly high-pitched voice.
>>439 Is a guy that speaks Japanese in a terribly squeaky high-pitched voice, because he learned it from bishoujo anime and Dance Dance Revolution songs.
>>441 was kind enough to make >>440's Panda costume for free, because he learned the fine art of clothes making, and has a full time job making really fine complex costumes, selling for thousands of dollars each. Too bad >>441 Could have been making more money if he know how to make fancy wedding dresses.
>>442 has memorized the name and role of every named character in the Legend of Zelda series, and most of the roles of the unnamed ones
>>443 Learned how to shape metal, only to make copies of famous swords. Now he is combining that with other sciences so that he can stab someone from across the room, the way Link does when he has a full set of hearts.
>>444 learned how to shape metal, only to make copies of mahou shoujo staffs.
>>446 spends his days on the internet pushing people to talk about mahou curtian shooters to the exclusion of all else
>>447 got bored learning insignificant anime statistics, and instead went to learn about every Japanese movie that resembles Godzilla in some way.
>>448 attempted to enact a law which would banish all American Godzilla films in virtue of their "culturally insensitive material". Much to his dismay, this only served to bring more attention to Godzilla's foreign legacy. He is now unable to feel smugly superior while enjoying "Godzilla eats sushi and only slightly enjoys his meal" (1969).
>>449 was the person known for doing all of his maths calculations with a Curta™ math grenade in high school.
>>450 keeps up a regular correspondence with his favorite seiyu, even though their responses are all variations of "Please leave me alone."
>>451
Knows every single Japanese variation of ''Please leave me alone'' due to his online stalking of Japanese schoolboys.
>>457 is gonna take you back to the past / to play some shitty games that suck ass.
>>458 would rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear than play any more horrible video games.
>>462 knows the scripts of every Final Fantasy game yet released by heart, including the Tactics spinoffs.
Ate the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and downed it with beer in order to avoid playing certain videogames.
>>466 knows every single DQN song by heart(including Tite) as well as the url to the song thread it was created in.
>>467 rallied his local church to sing "Jesus phase" as the opening hymn each Sunday. Not surprisingly, his proposal was accepted on the spot.
>>468 has more knowledge about otaku culture-related media than his PC which has a 4TB RAID 0 in disk space and can easily replicate the data manually bit-by-bit in case of a disk failure.
>>469 Also has a 4TB RAID system, it is dedicated to nothing but chicks with dicks.
>>470 is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's largest porn collection and was voted "least likely to get laid" by his high school class.
>>471 has memorized all the records in the Guinness Book of World Records for the past five years.
>>472 has been attempting to enter the Guinness Book of World Records for the past five years. They refuse to admit an entry for "Longest a man wearing a schoolgirl outfit has been in public".
>>473
Started a petition to allow a "Longest a man wearing a schoolgirl outfit has been in public" entry into the Guinness Book of World Records.
>>476's complecion resembles a pepperoni pizza with paper-white cheese.
>>477 proves theorems which were already proven all night long. Get a life already, bicycle-reinventor!
>>478 submits new ways of proving theorems to all the major academic journals, no matter how obscure or unintelligible they are. His most notable submission was "Representations of non-Abelian Lie groups in N-dimensional pepperoni space".
>>479 draws geometric shapes on his plate using pizza grease.
>>481 watches abstract pizza delivery porn where the people are chess pieces and the toppings are cheese, go pieces, and shogi pieces.
>>483 wrote a program that spells dirty words on a chess board with game pieces using the optimally least amount of moves.
>>484 Had to throw away several keyboards because they became stuck together with pizza fat and jizz.
>>487 has memorised all nine Primer timelines and the pertinent information regarding their points of intersection.
>>488
Has created over 100 theoretical Legend of Zelda timelines.
>>490 wrote a program that writes all his college term papers in optimally eloquent Star Wars text.
>>491 plays DND with double cheese pepperoni pizza as a grand prize.
>>492 also plays DND with double cheese pepperoni pizza as a grand prize, but demands that the participants call it "Orcish cheese war-bread" instead of pizza.
>>493 Can't play DND because of ADD. He simply watches anime that make most people say WTF.
>>494 Can't play DND because he's too busy investigating Loop Quantum Gravity.
>>495 has figured out loop quantum gravity and is now engaged in refining M-theory to a single, scientifically respectable theory.
>>499 writes his exams in both English and Elvish, just in case.
>>502 is the only one who speaks lojban. This is why he has no friends left.
>>503 is developing a hybrid of lojban and Japanese so that he will be understood by absolutely no one.
>>506 has developed an acute form of delusional schizophrenia from pretending his everyday life is as mysterious as Sherlock Holmes'.
>>510 lacks the masculine qualities of facial hair and muscular structure.
512GET
>>512
Specifically got the 512GET because the first computer that he ever bought came with 512MBs of RAM, and it brought back happy memories.
beg your husband to fuck you but he preffers play videogames or study science.
SYN, SYN+ACK, ACK. >>517 Always initiates conversation with his friends using the three-way-handshake.
>>519 leaves DQN only to run to his local convenience store and demand udon before, at the confusion of the cashier, settling for cup noodles.
>>523 can still diagnose connection problems simply by listening to the dial-up noise.
>>526 has hosted three successful dial-up BBSes over the last 20 years, as well as four failed ones. He is currently preparing to launch his eighth BBS.
>>527
Knows this as he is a BBS enthusiast and hosts and regularly updates an internet database of dial-up BBSes.
>>528 was interviewed and appears in Jason Scott's BBS Documentary.
>>531 has never heard of NetHack because he is a REAL PROGRAMMER and mere computer games are no challenge for a REAL PROGRAMMER.
>>533 believes Tuomo Valkonen is a god among men and can do no wrong.
>>535 finds Nethack boring and would rather play a better nerdy game, which isn't really saying anything.
>>536 posts in all lower case and without punctuation because his native language is Python.
>>537 was rehabilitated for using such a degree of abbreviation that often times he would only type using one side of the keyboard, because he programmed assembly code.
>>538 Knew about All Your Base long before it spread across the internet.
>>540 considered posting that in Tengwar before he remembered that not all browsers support Elvish runes like his does.
>>541 is a skilled assassin in Unreal Tournament games, but is the first to lose in paintball.
>>551 laments the days when cultured gentlemen garnered respect in their community, and has attempted to establish central meeting places based on several enlightenment style philosophical unions. So far he has only mildly succeeded with "Peaceful Positivists" and "Sapere Aude Kantian Kommons", but considers just moving to Cambridge.
>>553 Has the periodic table of elements printed on his underwear, his bedsheets, and his wallpaper. However, he doesn't need it printed it anywhere, he memorized all of it.
>>556 is incapable of being a father because he spends his days locked in a closet, listening to internet jazz and playing touhou. No girls know he exists. Very depressing.
>>557 shot a wad of semen into a time portal, which impregnated some woman, and then she gave birth to a cruel totalitarian leader that ruined the era, and then created a time paradox.
>>558 predicted when and where said time portal would open up, and had his daughter stand in the exact spot, such that her vagina would receive the rogue semen. The experiment was a success.
>>560 tried to build his own Fortress of Solitude, only to fail because of lack of funds.
>>561 Built a custom computer with a combined espresso maker for all night LAN parties.
>>563 Can't afford a DeLorean for his time machine prototype, and has to settle for an IROC Camaro.
>>566 Can't afford a whipping from that one chick in the classified ads. He spent so much money buying a collector's edition box set of Highlander blu ray discs, that he had 3 cents left in his bank account.
>>570's warp drive warped through time during test. As a result it crushed three drunk men to death in some small village in siberia in 2015.
>>571 once attempted to sue CERN for potential damages caused by rogue bosons traveling through time.
>>572 once attempted to sue CERN for stealing one of his warp drive experiments.
>>573 Created an H-game that uses the WII controller for special purposes.
>>579 pastes "( ˃ ヮ˂)" into the name field every time he posts on DQN just so that he can say he's one of the few people who DOESN'T post without a name, without the stigmas of name and tripcode usage.
>>580 sees no higher code of honor than that of anonymous BBSes.
>>581 thinks anonymous BBSes are stupid and that Usenet is still the best place to stop for REAL discussion.
>>584 visits technology-related Usenet groups on a regular basis.
>>586 has been exchanging sweet nothings with his Usenet sweetheart for going on 20 years now. Maybe one day they'll meet, and his life will be complete.
>>587 downloaded vocaloid because he will never get a real girl to sing for him.
>>588 remembers when he was young, dumb, and horny, staying up late nights to feed input to his sweet vocaloid. Now he's an adult, mature, and holding a steady job. He recently saved up enough cash to buy a Real Doll.
>>592 pretends he's never posted on 4chan /b/ for fear of being mocked by his dokyun "friends"
>>595 would usually have said "ITT we miss the point" but feels less than his usual enthusiasm for TLAs today.
>>597 didn't want to ask what TLAs are for geuine fear of being flamed
Thinks checking "do not filter my search results" constitutes a bold and edgy lifestyle.
>>602 is disappointed not only that he missed out on the 600GET for himself, but that it was GOT by a bad post too.
>>605 is taking Ebonics lessons for the purpose of expanding his social horizons.
>>606 is taking Japanese lessons for the purpose of understanding what the heck is going on in the Touhou games without English patches.
>>607 never had any problem understanding Touhou because he's known japanese since when he was making vhs fansubs in the 90s.
>>610 is a BSD toaster beta tester. His favorite part is where he gets to set the heating plates in such a way that they draw smiley faces on his toast.
>>614 looks down on those who do not hide their particularly acute computer skills.
>>616 has nine body pillows and seven of them are Ayanami Rei.
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ －! i We're all out of body pillows, you creep.
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
== THE REI'S NOT FLATTERED ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
>>618 looked up body pillows on ebay after reading this thread
>>621 actually liked "Thus Spoke Zarathustra", instead of reading about half of it and putting it on their MySpace 'favorite books' like any good normie.
>>625 Owns a Toyota Prius, just so he can tell everybody exactly how gasoline-electric hybrid systems work.
>>626, after watching Iron Man, spent many sleepless nights wondering if he really could build an arc reactor to run his Prius on.
>>631 thinks there are more than 3 posters here at 4-channel.
>>632
Made an entire party of robots in SaGa 2. Hope you like having no money.
>>633 Would have won the Nobel Peace Prize for that thing he invented in his garaged, if only the Nobel Peace Prizes actually went to science, not hippies.
>>634 get antsy if he goes too long without looking at a shell
>>637 hypothesised and tested if ants look like snowmen when you pull their legs off
>>639 developed an elaborate scheme to use carefully applied ant pheromones to take over the world with a mighty ant army, but got distracted by a GameMaker remake of some Zelda game before implementing it.
Shame; it would have worked.
>>641 once made a request of Blaque by XCB.
>>644 sculpts little clay dolls of everything he sees pictures of on the internet, then masturbates onto them.
On the other hand, >>649 only has to spin intricate webs of intrigue between previous posters in this thread before he can orgasm.
( ・-・) bukkaku is such a better word though....
>>651 tries to derail threads. Also, "bukka-ku" literally translates as "moonlit night" lol
>>>>651 Dresses up like an anime doll and then INVADES POLAND
>>655 secretly takes upskirt photos of people dressing up like anime dolls and sells them to people
>>656 secretly buys upskirt photos of people dressing up like anime dolls and sells them to people
>>657 openly buys upskirt photos of people dressing up like anime dolls and sells them to people
>>658 Is a member of a club that trades upskirt pictures of people dressing like anime dolls.
>>659 is the founder and president of a club that trades upskirt pictures of people dressing like anime dolls.
>>660 is the founder member and largest financial contributor to a club that trades upskirt pictures of people dressing like anime dolls.
>>661 is the recruiter of a club that trades upskirt pictures of people dressing like anime dolls.
>>664 once looked up a Barbie doll's skirt. He immediately went blind.
>>666 nonchalantly ignored a 666get as he does not have time for such childish things
>>669 spends a lot of time on forums debating the difference between 'geek' and 'nerd'
>>674 could do this, or he could that, but instead stays at home by himself.
>>677 is the largest supplier of custom office lady suits to the West.
>>678 Got tired of seeing people play guitar hero, and proceded to invent "Eurobeat synthesizer hero" to try to change the minds of people. He simultaneously cosplays as the guy from Initial D that drives an old Toyota Corolla to experience a greater effect.
>>680's voice sounds different each time he speaks for want of enough speaking to establish a firm voice.
>>681
Joined his college's music club to realize his dream of living out Nodame Cantabile
>>684 actually managed to beat a South Korean professional Starcraft player... Twice. He then taunted the poor Korean using the Korean language, which he learned just for that purpose.
>>685 is depressed after reading this thread and realising that 76.4% of the comments made also apply to him.
>>686 actually counted up the comments that applied to him and worked out the exact percentage
>>689 wrote an angry letter to Enix for not re-releasing Justbreed for a current videogame console or portable.
>>695 read ever single post in this thread and has yet to find someone who is more nerdy than himself.
>>696 ranked every post by nerdiness, and his post still ended up being the nerdiest.
>>700 was so excited about making a post ending in two zeroes that he called all of his friends to tell them. That is, he would have if he had any friends.
>>701 is such a nerd that he doesn't even have friends on teh internetz
>>702 is such a nerd he is unable to tell fantasy from reality and often does dangerous, reckless things with the thought of "If anything bad happens I'll just reset the game and start over from my last save point"
>>703 keeps backup saves in RPGs so he can play the last twenty hours over again in case he made a mistake
>>704 referred to moving back in with his mom after he lost his job as "reverting to an earlier save."
>>705 refers to his living space in mom's basement as "the ancient and unholy temple of the ancient sith lords"
>>706 believes that it is indeed possible to restart real life from the last save point and try again, but he would never do it, and he looks down on anyone who would ever even consider it, derisively calling them "save scummers".
What did you do to that dead body?
Death is the only answer.
>>708
is such a nerd that he can't keep his DQN threads separate.
>>709 is such a nerd that he's seriously debated about Meta Knight's banning in Brawl.
>>710 had serious qualms about the way Meta Knight was depicted in Hoshi no Kirby and wrote many letters to the producer complaining about it.
>>711 went to japan hoping to get a japanese girlfriend, but ended up with a body pillow.
>712 went to Japan hoping to get a body pillow but ended up with a bag full of doujinshi.
>>713 went to Japan hoping for a bag full of doujinshi but ended up forgetting how to properly reference posts at a critical moment.
>>714 remembered how to properly reference posts at a critical moment but ended up with a Japanese girlfriend. She left him after mere hours due to his extreme nerdiness.
>>715 is exactly the right amount of nerd to get a Japanese girlfriend who won't leave him.
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...
"I understand", says the bartender - and pours two pints.
>>720 broke the chain of posts, indicating that he has stopped having denial about his nerdiness.
>>721 Looks through all of his local newspapers in order to spell check it himself.
>>725 understands the concept of time paradox and how it is most easily invoked via space travel
>>728 Bought an RV just so he could travel from one nerdy convention to another year round.
>>732 Knows every statistic about each car in Initial D, but can't change the oil in his own car, because no Volvo was ever in Initial D
>733 won in World of Warcraft and several other MMO games.
>>734 always posts in green text when his post number is the same as any year in which a Frisian king died.
>>735 practices Old Frisian in the mirror every day and has invented a constructed language based on what English would be like today if Old English and Old Frisian switched places.
>>736 ist so ein Nerd, dass er sich wahrscheinlich in der Lage zu schließen, was er hier gesagt, das ist, was ich vorstellen, wäre die Sprache, wir wissen, ob Altenglisch wurde mit alten friesischen.
>>737 is fluent in English, Japanese, Klingon, the language of the Orcs of Lord of the Rings, the language of the Elves of Warcraft, and the language of the Dwarves of Dwarf Fortress.
>>740 locks himself in his room for weeks just to program all the time.
>>741 uses a bedpan so he doesn't have to leave his computer. Then he pays a nurse to empty it.
>>743 no longer goes to Mensa meeting because the people there are "stupid and don't understand me"
>>745 documented every known piece of AA on his own AAWiki, to which nobody else but spambots contribute.
>>746 built said spambots in order to take down the wiki of >>745 in which >>746 was a former partner. After the falling out, on whether it should include ASCII art or not, >>746 made his own wiki and started the war. >>745 is largely unaware of these attacks and thinks the spambots are real people as >>746's markov chain based botcomments are quite convincing. In the end though, the apparently inflated userbase of >>745's wiki will win over more legit users, including >>744 who declares the wiki 'AAwesome'. >>746 later is found to have hanged himself.
>>747
Documented the whole story on his own wiki where he documents lots of AAWiki stories.
>>748 created an endless loop of self-referencing wikis to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
>>751 was an avid player of a number of MUDs in the 90's and now spends his days ranting on various internet forums about how the MMO industry has given into "the carebears."
>>753 Has an IV bag witha feeding tube so he doesn't have to stop typing in order to eat.
>>754 Makes his console purchase decisions based on what consoles get the newest Shutoko Battle game
Doesn't own any consoles except his Atari 2600, which he plays daily and avidly in his basement, refusing to play anything newer because it's "all glamorous graphics and no gameplay".
>>756 owns a gaming monitor, a gamer graphics card, a gamer mouse, a gamer keyboard, and gamer speakers, and eats gamer snacks, and yet still talked trash about the Killer NIC.
>>758 has been following the arguments for and against the Killer NIC for years, and updates his blog about who he thinks is currently winning daily.
>>760 feels ill when he doesn't get first comment on said blog.
>>761 once wrote an e-mail spam script to attack someone who disagreed with him on an obscure message board.
>>762 spent a year writing a blog in which he roleplayed as a minor character in a popular RPG.
>>764 Refreshed the page frantically every midnight on update days to comment "FIRST" to every post.
Created a data base with profiles of every anime character to ever have the name Sakura in the entire history of anime.
>>772's interests are so abstract that table legs arouse them.
>>773 Interests involve girls with flat chests and magic wands.
>>774 dedicated the better half of a lengthy essay entitled "Popular Portrayals of Modern Wizardry" to the phallic symbolism of magic wands.
>>776 has erotic fantasies about anonymous posters on the internet
>>778 writes terrible-quality erotic fanfic about Dumbledore.
>>781 fapped to it, took a bow in front of the engraved photograph of Satoru Iwata, then proceeded to eat pie with mom
>>782 can actually tell Satoru Iwata apart from the rest of the chinks and dongs.
>>783 Can tell the difference between a empty computer disk and a full computer disk just by looking at it.
>>784 Can tell the contents of a computer disk just by looking at it.
>>785 Can tell which sectors the contents are located in by just looking at it.
If every Pokemon >>797 has ever caught were laid end-to-end, they would circle the Earth seven times.
>>800 Knows the latin name for ordinary household equipment so as to appear smarter and more refined but in reality is a blunt brute who is rather clumsy.
>>801 knows the Klingon name for ordinary household equipment so as to appear a blunt brute preoccupied with a nebulous concept of honor but in reality is smart and refined.
>>803 knows the Esperanto name for ordinary household equipment so as to appear smarter and more refined and preoccupied with fine cigars but in reality smokes blunts.
>>805 Communicates in sign language while wearing a Power Glove.
>>806 got the idea from this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV_0nGhxx2g
>>807 is by no means a nerd, not being highly intelligent or socially awkward or having obsessive hobbies, but she does dress in Geek Chic fashion and call herself a nerd because she's really an otherwise unappealing ditz that can't get attention from non-dork males.
>>813 Cosplays as an extremely minor character so only the nerdiest of nerds will recognize him.
>>820 Is in the Guinness Book Of World Records for the number of fake motivational posters created.
>>822 Created the Grand Unified Theory, but hasn't told anybody about it yet.
>>824 Lives in a tiny studio apartment, and has all the special gadgetry fount in a computer genius's mansion.
>>826
Had sex with Stallman, hence the acronym. My CAPTCHA is flap.
>>827 believes his captcha will begin to life and have sex with him.
>>828 enjoys glamorizing an unrealistic image of male homosexuality through yaoi, mostly because precious few straight men have been interested in her.
>>829 is one of those tools who adamantly argues that there are girls on the Internet.
>>830 is one of those tools that gives free things to 'girls' in MMORPGs on the Internet.
>>832 Is one of those "girls" that has more money and special items gained from posing as a "girl" than with completing missions and killing enemies.
>>836 Is a retro-otaku that has a warehouse full of anime made between 1980 and 1997, and frequently makes snobby remarks toward younger people watching newer anime.
>>838 learned machine language for the Motorola 6502 processor just so that he could write new games for his thirty-year-old Atari 2600 console.
>>839 Owns everything that uses a Motorola 6502, and also owns everything with a Zilog Z80.
>>840 Is currently in a parallel universe when the SEGA Master System/SEGA MKIII was much more popular than the NES/Famicom.
>>841 uses terms like "parallel universe" with the casual assumption that everyone else will be familiar with this and other terms from science fiction novels.
>>842 tries to insult other nerds to prop up his self-esteem.
>>844 is incapable of speaking to people unless they are wearing clothes which suggest that they share an interest for graphic novels made in 1998
>>845 has a large collection of graphic novels from the 1980s and 1990s.
>>846 Violently corrects people who use the American dubbed title of certain Animes from the 1970s and 1980s
>>847 Is a Shutoko Otaku because he loves Shutoko Battle games.
>>849 clears his cache and browser history every few minutes in fear of someone finding out he visits futanari-boards.
>>850 makes his futanari fetish publicly known through custom t-shirts.
>>851 collects the rarest futanari manga in existence, and sometimes pays $2,000 for an extremely rare futanari manga.
>>852 was forced by his mommy to sell all his futanari doujins, even the extremely rare ones.
>>855 knows what "futanari" means, and you have to admit that's pretty nerdy.
>>857 tries to keep his powerlevel low by saying futanari is extreme.
>>858 Is a cross dresser that buys all his clothes at Lane Bryant
>>859 designed Lane Bryant's website in the early days of the Internet
>>862 Built the greatest climate research lab in his attic, and is now researching the impact of jocks on the environment
>>863 Built his own airplane from the ground up, using flight simulators.
>>864 went to the bank to cash a paycheck for $512. When the cashier asked him how he wanted it back, he said "four $128 bills please."
>>865
Cashed a check from Don Knuth... because he had a spare.
>>866 Built his own ghost busting machinery and fixed a haunted building, until he crossed the streams with his friend.
>>867 could have told him that he must never cross the streams.
>>870 Created 100 different websites that are all like a miniature Wikipedia that sound similar, except they cover a smaller range of topics.
>>871 successfully flew a Boeing 747 on the first try without any formal training because he played Top Gun so much that he landed the virtual Tomcat on the virtual aircraft carrier.
>>872 knows his business, because he is a terrorist. A terrorist nerd.
>>873 Doesn't wear a shirt without a pocket protector and at least 10 pens.
>>875 imagines that the different options on Internet polls are political parties and tries to figure out which coalition would scrape a plurality.
>>876 Uses hacks to vote thousands of times on one web poll, causing chaos for political analysts.
>>877 wants me to laugh at him for reviving an old thread just to come up with a nerdy remark,
>>879 is on a low-irony diet, because his form of autism causes him to take everything literally.
>>880 gets a tender feeling about caring officers when he reads 'two held by police after drug seizures'.
>>882 pretends he's cool, extroverted, and has a lot friends whenever he's around people, but actually most of those "parties" involve a private carrel at the library.
>>885 has a pictures of his 8-bit computer collection in his wallet which he refers to as his "children".
>>886 has thousands of pictures of a certain anime girl that he calls "Mai waifu."
∞ENDLESS EIGHT∞
>>895 Built a starship that goes faster than ludicrous speed.
>>899 built a scale model of earwax out of scrap metal of the Yamato.
>>905 Carved his favorite anime characters into the side of a mountain, sort of like Mount Rushmore.
>>906 Carved his favorite anime characters into his mashed potatoes, sort of like Mount Rushmore, but had to stop when his mother told him to quit playing with his food.
>>907 is thirty-seven years old and still lives with his mother.
>>909 was highly disturbed when in spite of the high production values and prodigious use of CGI in the first Rebuild of Evangelion film the aeroplanes nevertheless did not move in a realistic manner when banking.
>>913 browses DQN so much he overloaded the server's bandwidth cap.
>>914 browses Slashdot so much he overloaded the server's bandwidth cap.
>>920 also has a webcam, thinks of using it for Chatroulette, but fears his social anxiety would make it awkward.
>>921 learned to program sooner he learned how to tie his shoes.
>>924 takes pictures of cosplayers, then goes home and carries on the proud tradition of journalism at Sankakucomplex by writing an article entitled "Sexy Otaku Convention Goddess Touhou Ecchi Cosplay Wardrobe Malfunction".
>>927 can't tie his shoes very well, so he just slips them on and off so he doesn't have to.
>>928 Built the automatic lacing shoes that were in Back To The Future.
>>930 bought a replica Back-To-The-Future DeLorean, but does not drive it because he it makes him stand out to much which aggravates his social anxiety. However, he does sit behind the wheel and say "Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads", over and over again.
>>937 spends an inordinate amount of time organizing his porn collection.
>>939 is creating a new *ix shell command interpreter, which he will name for his animoo waifu.
>>941 accuses people of being pandas outside of DQN, and wonders why people don't really talk to him.
>>943 has Asperger's Syndrome and is therefore incapable of comprehending or using irony.
>>944 Had his picture taken so that he would appear in the dictionary under "Asperger's"
>>946 Built so many starships and time machines, that he now builds teleportation machines.
>>947 Tries to use very complex mathematical formula to figure out the meaning of pieces of contemporary art.
>>948 knew they should have used "formulae" but don't want to look ostentatious
>>951 can eyeball mojibake and get the general gist of what it's supposed to say
>>952 reads mojibake by translating it to Esperanto then from there to English.
knows the name of every microprocessor from AY2149 to Z-80
>>954 turned off Javascript to keep megahurtz devoted to folding@home
>>958 is devoting his life to creating an IRL Emergency Mittens button.
>>961 learnt the dance from the ED of HeartCatch Precure but only ever performs it to his pet rabbit, Gerald.
>>964 Is Slayer Moon, sworn to defeat the GENOCIDE BY BOOMERANGS with a magic wand.
>>965's bedroom is full of Sailor Moon figurines and hug pillows.
>>966's bedroom is full of Card Captor Sakura figurines, hug pillows, fan comics, OST cds, and blu-ray discs
>>968 prefers to maintain ascetic purity in his obesession, and sneers at those who feel the need to prove theirs with merchandise.
>>969 Doesn't buy collectible anime stuff. He steals it from the movie studio.
>>971 was put in prison for stealing. He claims the time spent in prison is the way to prove how much he loves his favorite anime.
>>973 Is a chubby chaser otaku that has a Real Drive mattress for a hug pillow.
>>974 refused to wash his hug pillows until they paid their share of the rent.
>>975 washes his favorite hug pillow every day while talking to it as if it's a mentally handicapped 14 year old girl.
>>976 Had reverse eye surgery so he can shoot laser beams out of his eyes.
>>977 wishes he could afford the surgery, having to put his hands next to his eyes and make "pew-pew" noises instead.
>>984 wears three wolfshirts in layers to triple his output of awesome.
>>985 owns a Guy Fawkes mask, but never wore it because he's a shut-in.
>>986 owns a Guy Fawkes mask too, but only wears it when he watches himself in the mirror while masturbating.
>>987 feels socially anxious about the approaching end of this thread.
>>989 Earned thousands of dollars by leveling up other player profiles.
>>990 is annoyed by the continued use of .rar and .zip in a time where .7z is available.
>991 wrote his own compression program
>>992 has posted many rants to Usenet about lossless compression.
>>993 wrote a report in the eighth grade about the arc/zip controversy