LOL!
>>5 orders a baked potato or a side salad rather than french fries at Wendy's.
>>6 finds it hard to believe that anybody could stand more than 300 calories per meal.
>>7 seems to weigh a lot, but is immensely tall and it balances out well.
>>8 's weight is labeled 500 grams, but due to manufacturing defects it is only 496 grams.
>>9 only looks at his/her body in the mirror from a side view, because god forbid someone else should notice the 1.5 in. deviation from his/her normal stomach breadth.
>>10
Has a shadow that weighs 42 pounds, which is physically impossible.
>>16 seems to have neglected the fact that >>14's gravitational field is much larger than is required to hold simply one person in orbit around himself, thus making me wonder why he didn't set a larger weight for >>15, or even just include a bunch of elephants. This mistake is most likely due to >>16's massive collection of fat which droops from his forehead down to the top of his glasses. Sweat from his fat forehead often clouds his glasses.
>>17 generates negative gravity, thus baffling professional physicists.
>>18 Smuggles illegal immigrants across the border by stuffing them in his fat rolls.
>>19 leads a massive army of very fat man who stuff many Mexicans in their fat rolls. His personal best is 70 Mexicans on one all-night run.
>>20 can't run; in fact his primary mode of transportation is a crane-equipped flatbed truck.
>>21
Plays a real life version of Katamari Damacy by getting objects stuck in fat rolls.
>>22 Is so fat that when it is daytime at his belly, it is nighttime at his ass.
It's always high tide when >>23 is at the beach.
You know, because the massive gravitational attraction generated by the bloated sack of ham he calls a body is always pulling the ocean closer to him in a significant way and he's as fat as the goddamn moon shut up its funny
>>26 would have typed more, but his mushy fingers were making that rather difficult.
>>30 Jumped in the state of California and caused a false seismic alarm.