[Part ⑬] ( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Grandpa [dead] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5720 19:05

( ´ﾟωﾟ`) boyy, it sure is wonderful not having to worry about being alive anymore

801 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 11:44

(・∀・) Grandpa! Grandpa! Story! Story!

802 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 13:04

( ´ω`) ZzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzzzzz

803 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 14:31

( ´ω`) So there I was, minding my own business wandering around the Misty Lake and torturing frogs, when some crazy bitch in a shrine maiden outfit comes up and starts attacking me.
( ´ω`) I tried reasoning with her, asking if she was mistaking me for someone else, or if she had something about the frogs, but that girl was out for blood. I swear, it was like she was rabid or something.
( ´ω`) There were bullets fucking everywhere, Junior, you've never seen anything like it - lasers, magic amulets, ice crystals, needles; just a constant barrage of pointy shit.
( ´ω`) The bitch was strong, I'll give her that, but she was no match for me. "氷符「アイシクルフォール」!" I shouted. Still no idea what it meant, but I could see she was shitting herself.
( ´ω`) She dropped out the sky like a rock. I almost felt sorry for her.
( ´ω`) Never forget, Junior, I'm the strongest.

804 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 14:51

( ´ω`) I was feeling pretty dapper that day, wearing my brightest yellow bowtie and carrying a stylish perch in my jacket pocket, when she walked in.

( ´ω`) She was the ugliest woman I'd ever seen, and I thought to myself, "If I could fuck that, I'd have fucked the ugliest thing that ever lived!"

( ´ω`) Then I noticed her wedding ring. Darn the luck!

805 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 20:29

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

806 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 20:46

( ´ω`) What's an internet?

807 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7234 13:09

(・∀・) Now that you mention it, I'm not sure. I think it's a sort of disease or something?

808 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7234 22:29

( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Oh boyyyyyyy, woowooooooooooow!

809 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 01:16

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was it like in the days before the heat death and this infinite time loop?

810 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 05:02

( ´ω`) We used to release energy like there was no tomorrow.

( ´ω`) And now there is.

811 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 05:32

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was it like in the days before the heat death and this infinite time loop?

812 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 06:30

（•∀•）

813 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 15:27

(・∀・) Loop time infinite this and death heat the before days the in like it was what, Grandpa?

814 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 15:34

( ´ω`) Let's bake pancakes!
( ´ω`) Add some flour
( ´ω`) Oops that's way too much flower
( ´ω`) Now for the corn starch
( ´ω`) Add a little H2O2
( ´ω`) Oops way too much H2O2
( ´ω`) Bake for 3143 Hours
( ´ω`) Delicious dedpancakes

815 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 19:21

(・∀・) Grandpa, have you been taking opium again?

816 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 19:24

(∪´ω`) I'm a dog

817 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 19:29

(・∀・) Grandpa? Grandpa! How many fingers am I holding up?

818 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 21:51

( ´ω`) All I can see of you is your head.

819 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7236 13:22

(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・) How many heads am I holding up, then?

820 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7236 15:05

( ´ω`) Where did you get those? Put them back!

821 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7237 15:16

(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・) No! They're me and I'm keeping them!

822 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 13:39

　　　　　　　　～～～～～○～～～～～～～～
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　
　　　　　　　　 ＜⌒／ヽ-、_＿_　　
　　　　　　　／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧
　　　　　　　　　 （　´ω`）　　 　　Oh thank goodness, it was all just a dream!
　　　　　　　　 ＿|　⊃／(＿＿_　　
　　　　　　　／　└-(＿＿＿_／
　　　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

823 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 16:56

( ・-・) Wake up, Grandpa! It's time to take your pills.

824 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 22:45

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before Beady Eyes?

825 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 23:48

( ´ω`) Pretty good, overall. Everyone was in a good mood, the economy was up, and peace reigned throughout the world.

826 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 20:08

( ・-・) You mean to tell me my coming derailed the entire global economy and world peace? Damn, I'm good.

827 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 20:45

( ´ω`) No, you only really annoy us. We're so used to you now though that you're about on the annoyance level of a slightly wobbly ventilation fan.

828 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 20:51

( ・-・) Keep telling yourself that

829 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7241 01:58

(・∀・) On a more thoughtful note, I believe Grandpa is implying that the following bad times vomited you forth and not the other way around.

(・∀・)っ-̾ That is to say, you're a symptom of these troubled days, not a cause.

830 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7241 17:44

( ´ω`)っ-̾ Junior is correct. You are merely one of many inevitable results of the current worldwide situation. When the world's course corrects toward better times, you and the other Debbie Downers will make up the flotsam and jetsam of the past, washing up flaccidly on the shores of irrelevance.

831 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7242 20:59

( ・-・) Think you're so smart with your cigarettes and metaphors? Two can play at that game!

( ・-・)っ-̾

( x-x)っ-̾

832 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7242 22:32

(・∀・) Hahaha, I can't believe he fell for that.

833 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7244 15:33

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was in that cigarette anyway?

834 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7244 17:16

( ´ω`) Menthol and prions.

835 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7244 21:14

(・∀・) Grandpa, how did you smoke for so many years and not die of cancer?

836 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7245 12:19

( ´ω`) I did die. Don't you remember >>1?

837 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7245 17:18

(・∀・) I can barely remember what happened two hours ago.

838 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7245 17:32

( ´ω`) I tell you what, back in my day we used to focus on things! If we let our guard down then the chickens would get out and we wouldn't eat for weeks! Months, even! And if we missed the kettle boiling we'd have to wait another three hours! You kids have it so easy...

839 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7245 23:43

(・∀・) What? Sorry, I lost interest in what you were saying after about four words.

840 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7246 00:16

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was li- oh look a penny!

841 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7246 20:17

( ´ω`) Well I'm glad to see you at least know the worth of a penny! Yes, I've taught you well, Junior.

842 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7246 23:14

(・∀・) Im'a put it on the shinkansen track!

843 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7272 04:36

( ´ω`) You do that.

( ´ω`) I'm going out for a beer or five.

|彡

844 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7272 11:41

(・∀・) Grandpa, what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

845 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7272 20:48

( ´ω`) Jello Pudding.

846 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7272 21:53

(・∀・) Personally, my money's on the unstoppable force. It'd just smash that immovable object into non-moving smithereens!

847 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7274 11:11

(・∀・) Speaking of where my money is, don't you owe me my allowance?

848 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7274 17:20

( ´ω`) No, I don't owe you a damn thing.

( ´ω`) Talk to your dad, if you can find him.

849 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7274 19:43

(・∀・) You know Dad left me with you so he could live out his dream of eating at least one meal in every Burger King on Earth.

(・∀・) Last I heard, he was working his way through Chicago.

850 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7275 11:34

( ´ω`) Ah, I remember I ate a burger on the opening day of the first ever fast food restaurant.

( ´ω`) Too much mayo.

851 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 09:47

（・∀・）Morara. Morara!

852 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 10:45

( ´ω`) Junior, did I ever tell you about the time I slew a dragon?

853 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 10:50

（・∀・）Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara!

854 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 10:57

( ´ω`) Junior? A-aren't you interested in my stories any more?

855 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 10:59

（・∀・）Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara!

856 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 11:11

( ´ω`) I don't understand you kids and your ridiculous slang any more.

857 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7281 19:32

(・∀・) Who's the kid with the fat cheeks?

858 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7282 10:43

( ´ω`) Never mind that. Ask me about the time I slew a dragon.

859 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7282 10:50

（・∀・）MORARA!

860 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7284 15:23

　 ∧__∧　∩　Shut up about your bloody monorails already!
　（,,´ω`)彡☆ 　
　　⊂彡☆))∀・) ow SORRY ow ow ow ow

861 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7284 20:09

( ・-・) Junior, I am so, so proud of you.

862 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7284 22:34

(・∀・) . . .morara

863 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7287 18:03

( ´ω`) That's the last straw! For this, you're NEVER hearing my dragon slaying tale!

864 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7319 21:05

( ´ω`) Morara

865 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7319 21:22

(・∀・) More, Allah?

866 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7319 21:30

　 ∧__∧　∩　Don't bring that Satan worship talk into this house!
　（,,´ω`)彡☆ 　
　　⊂彡☆))∀・)

867 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7319 22:41

( ・-・) But I just finished my papier mache Baphomet idol the other day...

868 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7319 23:50

( ´ω`) Is that what it was supposed to be? We gave it to the Clonepas in the basement as a scratching post.

( ´ω`) Although in the end they just tore it to shreds and used it as litter tray fodder.

869 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7321 23:57

(・∀・) Grandpa, I'm hungry. What's for dinner?

870 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 00:39

( ´ω`) Stewed rabbit.

871 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 03:42

∩∩
( ・-・) Hey!

872 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 06:30

( ・_・) CLO NEPPA!

873 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 11:45

( ・ω・) Yes?

874 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 17:04

( ・_・) CLO NEPPA! IT IS ME, ORDIOROID FROM HIGH　　　　 SCHOOL.

875 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 17:15

( ・ω・) No you're not.

876 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7323 02:18

　Hmmm.
( ・ω・)　(( ・_・)

　　 ( ・_・)
　 _ 　∩
( ・ω・)彡　( ・-・)
Ah HA!

877 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7329 21:51

( ・-・) In retrospect, that wasn't a very clever disguise.

878 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7329 21:55

( ´ω`) Hey, have you two heard of gmail.com?

879 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 11:40

( ・ω・) Nope. Is it edible?

880 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 15:16

( ・ω・) Is it bigger than a breadbox?
( ・ω・) Hehe. Breadbox.

881 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 17:32

( ´ω`) Beats me. I just thought you might have heard of it.

882 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 21:33

(・∀・) Grandpa, what does everyone have against communism anyway?

883 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7342 21:54

( ´ω`) It don't work, but too many people out there really really want it to, and just won't let go.

( ´ω`) Most of them are afraid of having to take care of themselves.

884 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7347 22:13

(・∀・) So all that talk about cradle to grave care?

885 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7366 19:33

( ´ω`) The words of a cowardly baby who's terrified of personal responsibility, Timmy.

886 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7381 04:31

(・∀・) Wow. Communists are real pansies!

887 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7393 19:01

(・-・) 888ge- aw fuckwhistlemittenfuckbagshitflippingmittenpants.

888 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7393 23:51

(・∀・) Oh dear, you were just slightly too early. Try it again, you might catch it if you're quick!

889 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7457 16:56

( ´ω`) mitten pants?

890 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7458 01:39

(・∀・) Grandpa, what is the best way to find oneself a wife?

891 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7464 20:14

( ´ω`) Used to be you'd go and marry the first available girl who didn't outright hate you on sight. Now in these newfangled times, you'd bid for her on eBay.

892 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7464 22:04

(・∀・) I thought you hit Gramma over the head with your club and dragged her back to your cave.

(・∀・) Like a caveman.

(・∀・)

(・∀・) Because you're old.

893 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7465 22:37

( ´ω`) ....

( ´ω`) Oh yeah.

894 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7467 04:46

( ・-・) ...

( ・-・) Come on! Slap the shit outta him already!

895 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7467 19:34

　∧__∧　∩　
　（,,´ω`)彡☆ 　
　　⊂彡☆))∀・)

896 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7467 22:53

( ´ω`) Well, that didn't have much effect at all.

(・∀・) I'd already gone to the bathroom.

897 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7560 16:10

(・∀・) Grandpa, why does this thread keep stalling out? Are you losing your touch? Has the world moved on from this whole cross-generational Q:A concept?

(・∀・) Or is it just that you suck?

898 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7561 15:57

( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

899 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7562 00:14

( ・-・) 900 get.

900 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7562 00:15

( ´ω`) wha?

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