Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.
Today i sent personal mail at work and used the company stamping machine. i am wasting funds.
I quite enjoyed Weekend at Bernie's 2, and would watch it again.
I try cracking tripcodes because I'm a loser but I give up before I get what I want.
Today I gave my friend a ride home and made her listen to my lame music the whole time. She didn't enjoy it very much.
I knew I was wearing odd socks this morning, I just couldn't be bothered to find a matching pair.
I ate the last granola bar even though I knew someone else would want it.
I got a call to help someone move furniture today but I played video games instead.
A few days ago I decided to go outside and meet with some of my friends. I went to the nearest metro station and took a train. There was a few people, so I've taken a seat and dreamed for a while. But then a guy sat next me and asked his companion (who wasn't visible to me) if they'd like to sit too. I thought his was talking to a girl, so I gave up a seat. But then I noticed that he was a guy too. He gave me a strange look (like he was saying "what the hell?") and I mumbled that I'm leaving on the next stop anyway. As a result I had to wait for the next train.orz
I've been piping the cold water past >>10's water heater for years.
Today I visited "mylifeisaverage.com". I found it inferior to this thread.
At first I thought that nothing can be better than DQN, but now I'm addicted to "mylifeisaverage.com"
I find memorial groups to murdered kids on Facebook and make accounts for them, then talk to the distressed parents and say I'm not actually dead.
>>19 that's not passive aggressive. Hell, that's not even a lame confession. That's just awful.
And I've been making lame confessions for things I didn't do... my whole life.
When at a store, and I take an item to the cashier, and it rings up as much more expensive than labeled... I pay for it and leave.
When I use a public bathroom, I make sure no one else is in there before I go in and if someone comes in I stop peeing and wait until they leave.
i like chubby girls equally as normal ones
I find normal girls too fat, thanks to years of cultural indoctrination via the boob tube.
I was sorting books to send out to other libraries and I noticed there were two volumes of the same series. I only checked where the first one was going and sent the second one to the same place, to be rebellious. I felt guilty the rest of the day and couldn't stop wondering, "What if the second volume was actually going to a completely different library??"
So the other day, I went to Yoshinoya and ordered the special. With extra sauce. I'm not a big fan of green onion.
I’ll admit it. It took me darn near 100 minutes to find a textbox to write to. You can take you site and place it where the sun don’t shine. Could you please bring back my other, easier site if you don’t mind?
Thanks to some butthole who posted a link to bbwchan in the ctrl+v-thread i fapped to a girl with ridiculously big breasts
I told a friend a half truth. I hate myself for doing it.
I do personal programming at work
I only went out to the front so I could serve a cute girl, but ended up cokking lunches all day.
i listened to emo lately and actually enjoyed it. to my defense, it was oldschool-emo fromt the 90's.
I stayed up till 6am and now i post ITT
i stayed up til 8:45 am and now i post ITT
>>18 here. I sometimes used a Beady Eyes facebook account I made
I'm only eating at that restaurant and leaving 30% to 40% tips because a cute waitress smiled at me and it warmed my heart.
i washed my balls in the shower last night...
I'm quite a dull person, and I have nothing to post today, not even here.
My captcha is rame, and I don't know whether to post that here or the captcha thread. I have typed both messages but will only click one 'reply' button....
Sometimes I wish I were a super-famous tripfag...
One time I was comfortable with posting on the Internet.
Then I got extremely shy.
Now I am a bit better, but it's kinda hard to press the reply button.
I have no problem pressing the reply button but afterwards I get a crushing, suffocating feeling of remorse and regret. Then again, I get that feeling every time I do anything in life, so I guess it's nothing new.
Step One: Type something
Step Two: Press reply button
I lied about my confession :(
my multiple personalities fight over the keyboard
I'm going to a pretty high ranked and expensive college this fall. My family's really exited and happy for me, and all they do is bug me about classes and my dorm and what I'm taking and other stupid shit. The truth is I couldn't care less about any of that crap. What I really want to do is be a NEET and a hikikomori for a year or two. Well that's not accurate, since what I actually want a part-time job that I could spend a couple hours at, but the rest of the time I just want to spend shut up in my house with my T.V. and anime and games and internet with no one to bug me. Unfortunately the economy and pressure from my family is preventing me from doing this, but I'm wondering if I shouldn't just say "fuck it" and try it anyways since I'll just get to college and then drop out later because my hearts not in it.
I wanna be a VIP STAR
Someone on the interent said something very nice about one of my pictures and I cried.
My dream is to be a Youtube celebrity based on cuteness alone.
The fact is that I'm not just ugly on the inside, but on the outside, too.
Everyone thinks I'm a really nice shy guy, but underneath that mask I'm a selfish antisocial bastard. But underneath that, in my heart is a little boy who just wants to be loved. Yet underneath that, far below the surface, is a dark and disturbed and broken human being. And still, underneath all that, beyond all those layers, is a milk chocolate center covered with a thin candy shell.
It's not technically illegal to steal neighbors' wifi connections in my state, but I feel guilty for doing it anyway even though we both pay for the exact same level of service from the exact same ISP.
Wait, >>63, why are you using someone else's internet if you're paying for your own?
>>64 my connection doesn't think. It feei∴∵∴s.
I.e. it drops pack∴∵∴ lik∴∵ mothe∴∵∴ker
I like to post links to fat girl pictures and watch the responses from those who clicked. I have even more fun tricking weaboos into clicking on Japanese fat girls.
My CAPTCHA is "tar"!
>>62
Just open an account in an online bank. They'll send you your credit card by mail.
I gave a link to this thread and he found all posts. I bet he laughed at me.
I'm just about to add Title and the volumes of DQN Electronics to the database of this site: http://rateyourmusic.com/
I'm sorry guys, your secret's up.
I spent $115 on a figure of Ayu Tsukimiya from Kanon including shipping. The original MSRP was about $65 US.
Uguu~! I am not lame!
I check this thread on a regular basis
I enjoy [fapping while] watching little kids play in the sand.
I'm afraid to post in the fusianasan thread.
Title is what made me start going here :x
...yeah, it is now that I think about it.
One time I encoded an mp3 at 128kbps to save disk space (using lame.)
As a conservative, I shouldn’t like Hillary Clinton at all, but as she gets older and grumpier, I think she’s growing on me.
I have 23447 tracks in iTunes, all converted to 128kbs AAC
I am posting this instead of getting ready to go out to dinner with my friends. I am late already so I will probably cancel.
For almost the past two years I've been reading every post here for hints that they may have been written by someone I know.
>>85 I do still love you, but I'm still just not ready for that kind of commitment yet
this post is the highlight of my day
I knew she was too young but I still tried to charm her
I purposely do Google searches on obscure and not-so-obscure DQN memes with the intent of finding DQN users on other websites. I have a special file titled "DQN users" where I put links and screencaps of my findings. So far I've found three Livejournal users, a handful of myspace users, a couple facebooks, and the rest on various other websites.
Basically I'm stalking DQN.
>>90, if you find me on Facebook I'd probably add you just because you're from DQN and I confess I have too much respect for what DQN's all about.
Are you planning to ever make your findings public?
(I confess that I would probably actually look through this stuff)
Probably not, no. I feel it's one thing to go out and find these users on my own just because I have a desire to find out more about the people who frequent DQN, but I don't think it's my place to "out" these people, if you will. There's also the fact that many of these people(myself included) are quite different from their DQN selves and engage in activities and hobbies the Elitist Superstructure might find distasteful.
>activities and hobbies the Elitist Superstructure might find distasteful
...I admit it.
Fencing.
>activities and hobbies the Elitist Superstructure might find distasteful
...I admit it.
Jumpstyle.
You know about the DQN last.fm group?
>>90 Did you find the group on facebook PLEASE HEAR ME OUT IT'S REALLY RELATED TO YOU?
>>98
He means he facilitates the sale of stolen goods for a percentage of the profits.
...
I wasted a 100GET >_<
i don't visit dqn that often. at least the last 2 months.
I squee'd when someone pasted a post I made into a song thread, thus making my words lyrics in a future DQN smash hit.
Sometimes I wish I could be ravaged by older men and learn from their sexual experience.
I needed to type the universal quantifier symbol (∀) for my university discrete structures class and the first place I thought of to find it was DQN.
I twitched when reading >>106 because some ex-gf of mine used to say "squee" a lot. I still miss her.
My bumping of this thread is merely shameless self-promotion.
I submitted a song to my local college magazine, and we had to submit a short self-biography. I wrote: "He lured me to his domicile."
At least it was published!
I made out with a plush doll.
...and liked it.
I bumped this thread even though it has fallen off the front page. v_v
Even though I'm for the legalization of marijuana, when I find out someone does drugs I lose all respect for them and I don't want to ever be around them or talk to them. A particular pet peeve of mine are people who "fall in love" with a girl because "SHE GOT TOTALLY STONED WITH ME AND IT WAS AWESOME"
I wish people like that could be shot.
I think you need to calm down a little. Yes; I admit typical stoner people are annoying, but you're far too uptight about such a silly thing.
Anyway, my lame confession for today is that I would very much like to hold a revolver to Rupert Murdoch and shoot him in all of his limbs over the course of an hour. Then I will walk away laughing as he slowly bleeds to death.
白人の人々はこれを読むことができない。
Bitch aint got nothing on me. I'm so fucking pale, I glow in the god damn dark. Seriously, my black friend liked to pretend that my arm was a light saber.
I blog about colonthree and I love it! :3
>>119,120 I think pale skin's hot. Definitely looks nicer than orange people.
lol, first thing I thought of when you said orange people were Oompa Loompas... Were there any female Oompa Loompas? I never read the book, and I haven't watched the original movie in a loooong time.
I was retarded and judging people like >>116 could be shot. I hate it when people just go ahead and assume all the shit they want to assume.
Sometimes, I write posts totally flaming people, then delete it when I realize that, no, actually, I agree with them completely.
I'm racist against the fictional Oompa Loompas.. i feel like they would probably be smelly, awful, greedy little people
JEWS
I fapped to straight shota a few minutes after having sent a love letter and now i feel filthy.
Last week I suggested Caitlyn as a nice girl's name for a baby to my fiancé... ignoring thefact she's a bit young for having kids yet
I really don't know what you all are talking about... Am i dumb?
i felt proud of myself for typing so legibly with my nose, though i feel kind of nauseous now
(ﾟдﾟ) I want >>139 to make a twitter so I can be friends with him
That foreign language program Grandpa and Junior are watching in the Beady Eyes thread is made up of machine-translated randomly chosen posts from randomly chosen threads from randomly chosen boards on 2ch.net. It usually takes three or four tries to find one that sounds interesting enough to use. I'm using this translator:
英語テキスト翻訳｜@nifty翻訳
http://honyaku-result.nifty.com/LUCNIFTY/text/text.php
I just wanted to post my technique in case someone else wanted to try it.
but... but... that one doesn't carry out and isn't w T_T
I had to refrain from posting on DQN for a while because I couldn't figure out how to use the "refresh captcha" function and the old one was bogus.
Also my new vc is "yieff" which reminds me of "yiff".
I hold my pee when I poop because if the yellow water splashes back at my ass I get zits full of puss and that one time I got one close to my asshole and for 3 days it was painful to poop and I had to spread my ass with my hands to poop normally
I actually feel sorry for Beady Eyes. A lot! He's really nice and funny, and now no one cares when he finally gets laid. Imagine, it's the first good thing that happened to him in weeks and no one cares! Slapstick Humor is okay, it's part of him to get hit by balls but.... I don't know... I don't want to see him hurt.
I also fear that people won't take this seriously, especially now that i wrote this. Meh.
>>146 He added me on facebook, he's really not nice. He went into all these memorial groups for little girls and hurled abuse at the mothers. He's banned now obviously. In terms of trolling it was pretty amazing, very well done, of course.
Well in my opinion that doesn't mean he's got to be a bad person in real life, err I mean DQN.
But i get your point...
I must confess that I started a discussion in a thread with a set theme for the posts.
My paper on lolicore that I'm writing for a college class might not be finished on time because I'm procrastinating by reading DQN.
I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.
Hell yeah, lolicore! How about researching on last.fm, the lamest social networking site of the world?
Also, don't use loli ripe as an example. They're sellouts.
I have no idea what kind of college class >>150 could be attending. Is he kidding?
>>154 It could be an audio sort of course, write about a music genre or something. I had to write about the soundtrack to Harold & Maude by Cat Stevens
Today I made a schoolgirl wet with a dirty text
I ejacuated on my hand, then licked it up.
I do that basically every time I masturbate. Although, for me at least, thats not really a lame confession.
I totally want a pet capybara or tapir, but don't want to put in the effort to be one of those intrepid pioneers who has to be one of those poor bastards trying to tame the first few generations of a new domestic breed of animal.
No-one ever pays me in gum....
>Also, don't use loli ripe as an example.
You have to at least mention loli ripe in a paper on lolicore.
Also >they
The more you know, I always thought it was just one dood.
I don't know what the fuck a lolicore is. I assumed it had something to do with raping little girls, but that doesn't seem to be the case?
i'm probably gonna have an affair with the best friend of the girl i love. i don't regret it because i still love her, i'm just nailing someone else. however, i feel really bad about not regretting it.
When she told me she loved me, my response was "..Okay".
>>160
Very few animals actually have the traits necessary for domestication. This is why people use horses instead of the clearly more excellent looking zebra.
>traits necessary for domestication
These would be?
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ So what, >>166? Most sufficiently non-endangered species have the traits necessary for domestication within the population, if only you can find the one retard that'd rather eat out of your hands than hunt or forage for it.
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ The real problem is that no human beings can spend the hundreds or thousands of years it would take to weed out the undesirable traits of particularly difficult species within their lifetime, even with modern selective breeding practices. Of course, that is assuming there will be no advances in our knowledge of manipulating the hereditary traits of animals, which is certainly absurd. You can't take everything you read in Guns, Germs, and Steel at face value, maannn.
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ ...
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ Like, wait a minute, this isn't my stogie. This is, like, the biggest doobie ever.
>>167
Well, if you must know, this puts it rather succinctly.
http://www.abc.net.au/animals/program2/factsheet1.htm
>>169
Counterpoint:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesticated_silver_fox
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ-̾ so... I like, don't support the use of marihuana at all, but goodness gracious I feel alive.
>>170
I have always wanted one of those. Alas, it was not meant to be.
You know what I've always wanted as a pet? A quail. Those things are damn cute, produce some good(although small) eggs, and are like a cross between a chicken and dog/cat. Pretty low maintenance too.
I would like a pet human. She will wear a red collar and I will keep her chained up in the backyard. Of course I'll let her in to beg for table scraps and sleep at the foot of my bed in the winter. Naturally, she will be debarked as the females tend to be overly verbal.
I typically have no clue what's going on in dqn but I read it anyway.
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ･ิA･ิ) ＜ My name is Squeeks and son I am disappoint
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
I'm surprised DQN actually uses teenage social networking sites and I feel somewhat left out.
>>176 I am an outgoing person with a lot of friends but I still post on DQN
DQN represents the whole of my social life.
I'm a friend with another DQNer in real life.
What are the chances?
I would rather type in an obsolete captcha and have to resubmit than wait for it to refresh.
5 in 6.8 billion, excluding every other factor that might be relevant.
It once came to me in a dream that my true father is Chuck Norris.
Now I have to live the rest of my life knowing I will never live up to it.
I just played a flash game called 'taylor swift makeover'.
I enjoyed it.
I don't know who Taylor Swift is.
Neither do I, although I think if I saw a picture of him/her I would recognize them.
I think music is extremely overrated.
I said I liked Taylor Swift and learnt one of her songs on guitar just to get into a girl's pants. It worked though.
I want a Japanese BBW for a girlfriend, but I feel like I never will find one.
>>188
Getting into the Japanese porn industry might be a good first step. There seems to be a large concentration of them there.
>>190 They're starting to like gaijin now, actually.
But mostly if you're American and a girl.
>>191 Then it is time for me to become transgender and then be a lesbian.
>>192 I've been seriously looking into that for months. If it weren't so expensive I'd do it.
>>192 There is no such thing as a lesbian in the porn industry.
>>195 I guess I should tell them I have Micheal Jackson's disease
I have nothing to contribute to the ctrl-v thread as I have nothing on my clipboard.
I have nothing to contribute to this thread because >>197 posted my confession.
( ˃ ヮ˂) wktk!
ttp://filthy-h.blogspot.com/2009/12/matazure-tengoku-shameless-sick-incest.html
Sometimes I sneak into my sister's room and masturbate on her panties, and I don't clean them up after I do it.
Sometimes there's a weird mucusy goo on my panties, and I don't know what it is.
I've never posted ever.
I'm actually a closet homosexual who makes fun of other homosexuals, which makes me a gay hypocrite.
Over the last few months discovered that I'm bisexual but I really don't want to tell anyone.
I honestly don't really like mittens.
I'm content right now and that makes me insecure, like balancing on a high-wire over a deep dark pit.
Don't look down.
I'm an alcoholic because I drink to cope with my manic depression. This doesn't actually bother me one bit.
I'm looking forward to committing suicide with my wife
I recognize the sad truth that most people on the Internet would not take >>212 seriously even if he or she is actually going to commit suicide, but I am probably not going to do anything more than say he or she should not commit suicide and hope it resolves itself.
More stuff for the rest of us.
The only reason I come to DQN is because I liked the albums and emergency mittens.
Also, I will be alone this new years, like the last 21 years of my life.
I am a talented graphical designer who was noticed by some high ranking people who had seen my works, but I do not know how to get in touch with them since they are all unreacheable and stuff.
This is the main truth.
I can't post something original in this thread because I have the same confession as >>217.
I still don't really know what iichan is.
I used to think that iichan was 2chan.
I have a hard time letting this thread go.
This is one of the only threads I still read on 4-ch.
I wish my R and O keys worked better on my keyboard
I still can't whistle
College classes cause me to see and hear things the way a schizophrenic would.
I maintain no meaningful contact with anyone except on 4-ch. It makes me really happy when someone replies to my messages.
I love you, >>228. A strictly platonic love, but a love nonetheless!
I drove into the HOV lane, but I was driving alone, so I changed back out.
If there is an HOV lane, there should also be a DQN lane.
I now realize that I only bought my guitar because of K-On.
For the last few days I honestly believed Canada was spelled Kanada.
I'd like to post here a lot more, but I'm just not funny enough. Usually I write a post, spell-check it, realise it's shit and just close my browser.
I used to think HOV lane stood for Hovercraft Lane and was disappointed to never see them.
I am a super-genius hacker that can make computers do things that most scientists would deem impossible, or at least of supernatural origin. To get my kicks, I seek out gullible people and make them lose their documents, or make valid email addresses wrong so they return to the sender, or make Explorer freeze, or make Napster lose its connection, or make their printer jam. Every once in a while, when I'm sure no-one will be there to believe them, I make satanic messages pop up.
I know how to do it. I'm a genius.
I am a real person, and while I could be using this ungodly talent to make the big bucks, I devote enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering these people.
Everything I touch turns to crap.
I throw quarters at stop signs.
I had an Iranian professor who’d always begin lectures with a phrase like “Hello everyone”, and every time, I couldn’t help but think of Clonepa.
Out of all the characters on Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, I always identified with the bear. He's just... there. It's almost like he runs the place, but nobody questions him. He should be questioned, but one look 't 'is face and you can't help but return the dumb, dopey smile.
I thought the "Post your current thought" thread was actually a confessional thread.
I'm 46 goddamn years old and still found Grandpa's interrupting burps hilarious.
sometimes when i unzip my pants to pee i'm not careful enough to watch what i'm doing so i end up peeing a bit on the corner side opposite the button but i just dry it off with some tp and it's good as new
I am Fujiwara No Mokou
I had to reread Grandpa's burps after reading >>247 in order to get the joke. But I am especially tired today!
I have an obsession with delicate, girly guys.
I'm a delicate, girly guy trying to bulk up.
i still think all your base is hilarious
I cannot play FPS games, because I empathize with the enemies, and I feel horribly guilty when I kill them.
I hate my life and I want to fly down a well.
I'm almost 23 and have never held a job.
>>256 said most of what I could say about myself, and so I have little else to say
I've never had a job, because I've never wanted one.
I never wipe myself after shower.
I've never had a job, because I'm too shy.
i don't really 'shower'. i turn on the shower, get in, and kind of lazily rotate in a circle for ten minutes.
Yesterday I played UBW's H-scene and laughed hysterically at the words 'boiling meat'.
Right now, there is a girl (that I am hanging out with) next to me. I am posting rather than talking to her.
I really want to post in this thread. But I have nothing to say. Not only that, but somebody already confessed something exactly like this.
I'm about to masturbate, probably to hentai.
I masturbate before I have sex so my girlfriend thinks I have erectile dysfunction.
I post about my "girlfriend" to make my fellow NEETs feel like shit
I prefer not to use the toilet seat. Until last year I didn't use it at all.
Women only like me for my body.
I wanna play until I die, I wanna lose my reasons why.
Joking aside, I see bullet patterns when I close my eyes.
I'm in love with the representation of Ayanami Rei seen in "The Rei's Diner" threads.
I know she isn't real. She's not even the product of a single individual's imagination; she's the collective creation of a hundred (ok, that's a bit generous) bored BBS browsers, making variations on a specified template. Yet, I just can't help but feel attracted to her. That dry wit, that saucy apathy, that calm, collected personality - it drives me crazy!
Where the hell can I meet a girl like that? Where can I find a girl like The Rei?
Dude, it's not like she'd ever put out.
I don't care, as long as she can hold a decent conversation.
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ －! i Sorry, we ran out of spare Reis.
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
== THE REI'S DINER ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
You!
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
-‐‐- 、
／ ヽ
! ! 人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 乂-‐ －! i Sorry, we ran out of patience for invisible idiots who
＼ヽ .ゞ - ﾉノ CONVENIENTLY FORGET ABOUT THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
｀｀フ i´
/ ＼ﾉゝ
/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
== THE REI'S DINER ==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
へ-ﾍ
ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ She hasn't changed since 1996, nya~
～(,_ｕｕﾉ
But that's three years from now!
What are you trying to say?
I think of time as a linear construct instead of feeling, and now I will was tanasinn.
>>155
I had to write a paper on an online concert for my Music Appreciation course and chose a Morning Musume concert.
I slashed my wrist to get the day off work.
I was fone...
All these Yoshinoya posts make me want to try a beef bowl, but I’m not so sure I’d actually like it.
I like to watch my own posts.
I roam the Forbidden Garden and silently sympathize with the last poster of each thread there.
>>256 here
I'm 23 now, I still don't have a job, and am now wishing suffering upon the world and becoming really strangely religious.
I don't like porn.
all alone for saturday night (as usual)
I'd be a hikikomori if I didn't have to work.
I'd work if I didn't have to be an hikikomori.
I have failed every course of college I ever tried, but am too afraid of rejection to try and get a job instead. So I mooch off my parents and wallow in self-pity instead.
I stopped coming to DQN as often in favor of SAoVQ but I post just as infrequently there as I did here.
I like to crossdress.
I can't make rice properly.
I can make rice properly, but I like white rice and my mom always buys this shit with weird legumes and stuff in it because it’s “good for you” but she makes me eat the most of it.
Yes, somehow I still live with my parents, too. I’m nigh on 23 and have been unsuccessful on the job hunt since I was 16. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? sigh
My Steam password is more complex than my Windows logon.
>>302 I think I installed Steam at the same time you posted that.
I started playing Portal on my MacBook Pro
My MacBook has neither the disk space nor the graphical power for Portal, and I’m dirt poor so I can’t afford most of the other games... yet I downloaded Steam for Mac just in case and got my free copy of Portal anyway.
Hi DQN I'm drunk again
>>305
most DQNs couldn't get a job if they were a man with a 15 inch dong at a pornographers' convention
I'm not into anime.
I only like anime when it's cute and romantic. I'm pretty macho otherwise though.
Up until just last year, the only game console I had was an old 8-bit NES, and a NES-on-a-chip Yobo FC Console.
I read everything with 20-pt fonts.
I have whistled the tune to "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" as a passive-aggressive insult.
I have a boner.
I have fantasies of being accepted and loved unconditionally.
I can't figure out what I want to do with my life. Since nobody wil pay me for playing the odd video game and browsing the Internet, chances are slim that I will ever find a job I truly enjoy. This thought terrifies me.
With this economy, chances re slim that you'll even find a job.
http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/629954 made me cry.
Sometimes, instead of just using Ctrl+C to copy, I Ctrl+X then immediately Ctrl+V afterward, before continuing to paste whatever I needed to paste. Eh, the end result is the same.
I frowned when I read how inefficient is >>322's way to copy and paste. That kind of stuff just pisses me off.
I dislike touhou
I have never played touhou.
If there really was an "Everybody Loves Clonepa" show, I'd watch it religiously.
I don't find computers interesting anymore.
I leave the television on as I browse the internet so I can hear human voices and be ever-so-slightly less lonely.
I often forget if I posted in a thread before or not. I also often read a post and think that I might have posted that, but wasn't sure. Furthermore, I think I've replied to myself without realizing it once or twice.
>>332
I'm sure I've already read a post identical to this one, but can't remember where...
I often feel childish wonder and amazement at the most simple things, like the Moon, the wind, falling leaves or that anything exists at all.
>>335 That's not a lame confession, that's a desirable way to live! I'd say you're experiencing life on a better plane than most!
I kinda know where you're coming from, and I think it's cool. I don't feel wonder or amazement at those kinda things, but I do take time out to absorb the details and feel some sense of satisfaction and happiness from them.
Like today I was walking back from work all pissed-off at my co-workers when I saw a bird attempt to fly towards the raging wind, only to slowly turn itself sideways and then glide gracefully a little before doing a loop-the-loop and flying off.
All my anger was gone and I grinned the rest of the way.
>>337 I was once walking back from work all pissed-off at my co-workers when I passed two French gentlemen in the street outside my flat, I just caught a snippet of their conversation, one of them simply said "I like it!" with his French accent, and my mind flooded with his lifestory, that he had been struggling back home in France so he came to Scotland, a big move, no friends or family here, just to make a fresh start, and he has found a friend now, and also something he enjoys. He was smiling. And so was I!
I obsess far too much over trivial things, too much to enjoy trivial things.
Once, I walked back home form work really pissed-off at my co-workers, but then I turned around and went to the bar and drank twelve pabst and a shot of jack daniels and went home and threw up in the bathtub. I was still pissed off the next morning but the anger dissipated slightly after cleaning the bathtub (and throwing out the bathmat, which caught a few stray chunks).
The first check that I ever wrote was for a copy of James Joyce's Finnegans Wake.
Speaking of checks, I wrote "for gay sexual favors" in the memo field of one of my rent checks once. Next thing I know, the landlord mysteriously "lost" my check and I had to pay a late fee.
I created my high school's wikipedia page
I think I found someone I use to know 5+ years ago on the internet.
I hated them, and after getting into a fight with them I flounced out of the website forever.
If it really is them, they haven't changed at all, and I still hate them
I think >>322 and possibly >>332 might be me, but it's been so long that I can't remember.
The experience of not remembering what you wrote is a common one on anonymous BBSes. It might even be the point of the anonymous BBS.
If DQN is still around in twenty years, I'll come back here and look through the archives. I wonder if reading this post will fill me with that nagging sense of partial recognition, or if I'll just glance quickly before passing on to >>347.
Sometimes, if I really like a thread, I'll read it again.
Right now, I'm reading some threads that I read months ago.
I remember some of the bad threads and memes I started on DQN, even though I posted them anonymously.
I still, still get irrationally angry and butthurt when websites like Yahoo or Google or commercials for Walmart come on that advertise "back to school!". I fucking hate school, it's only the beginning of August, don't remind me that I'll be back there in a couple weeks, I don't want to think of that place.
God I'm still 9 years old.
I have no friends. I feel sad. I don't know what to do.
I like a girl that won't talk to me and probably has a boyfriend.
I sometimes save good threads on DQN to my hard drive so I can read them again and again or when I have no internet access
There's a girl I like, and I think she definitely likes me back, she invited me at her place, we sat close for all day but I didn't even touch her. Geez.
I thought I'd have a cup of filter coffee before I started drawing, but now I'm too jittery to concentrate.
I felt so smart when I figured out why Miku's colors are black and teal.
I googled why Miku's colours are black and teal but couldn't find anything
I took LSD to aid me in my 3D modelling coursework for uni
>>358 It mimics the colors of the DX7, Yamaha's most successful product so far. (See http://www.electricdruid.net/images/interface/larger/YamahaDX7.jpg . Compare this picture to that panel on her sleeve.)
>>360 We all should have been informed about this with the introductory Elitist Superstructure New Old Member materials, but they got lost in the mail.
(confession: I was the mailman)
I've had a string of crappy roommates that I barely knew / only thought I knew, and after graduating am considering living completely fucking alone for at least a year or so. Loneliness isn't really my problem, it's the only cure I know.
Today I smashed my penis over my laptop's keyboard.
I went through my phone's contact list to find someone to brag to about the amazing sex I had last night, but I came here instead
My meatballs were too hot in my mouth so I tried to cool them down by opening my mouth and breathing out, and they fell out on to my shirt.
I still watch Yumeiro Patissiere.
Sometimes in the post your captcha thread, I use the captcha of the previous thread I posted in.
At least five girls wanted to get to at least know me so far, and I pushed all of them away because I assumed they wanted to hurt me.
I posted a lame confessional on the unhappy things thread because I was too lazy to dig this thread up.
>>369, you were right to do so.
A woman's a two-face, worrisome thing that will lead you to sing emo crap in the night.
I like the taste of menstrual blood.
>>371 I know this to be true for a fact because it's what I do and have been doing since she stopped talking to me.
I accidentally posted something in the wrong thread, but I don't think anyone will notice.
I'm a panda.
Sometimes, if I'm posting in the captcha thread and I don't like my captcha, I'll refresh it once or twice. I usually only do it when the captcha is a real word, though (recently, I got hose).
Oh, and I feel kind of bad about making this post, because it means the cool captcha I got (unshulk) will go to waste.
I'm so afraid of failure that it's causing some 'minor' suicidal ideation.
I have an imaginary boyfriend.
The only thing keeping me alive anymore is my wish to make someone else happy.
I had class in a room on the fourth floor today, and somebody had left the window open. For the whole of the tutorial, all I could think about was rushing up to that window and throwing myself out.
>>380 Well, take comfort knowing that you always make me happy EVERY time you post here
>>299 I like to fuck crossdressers. We should totally hang out!
I haven't found DQN hilarious ever since it shifted from "we pretend to be Japanese emoticons and AA characters in a never ending soap-opera" to "we talk about our lives, sometimes with a Japanese emoticon next to our sentences". I can't relate to you guys at all.
Whenever I see bad text-boards I like to go to the best old threads they have and bump them all to the front page instantly making it slightly better.
I like reading about videogames more than playing them.
When I think DQN is not hilarious anymore, I blame myself for not appreciating it. Reading >>385 mildly uplifted me, but mildly saddened me, too.
I find DQN mildly uplifting on occasion. Was it ever hilarious? I wouldn't know.
>>385
I haven't found DQN hilarious since reading that srs post.
>>388
I often find watching people play video games skillfully is far less frustrating than playing them poorly myself.
It's very important that I talk to a woman about something but I don't know how to go about it at all or really even how I should contact her or what to say so as a result I do nothing
Pure torture
I have a pretty good singing voice, but I don't count it as a quality of mine because I think that it's more or less useless.
( ﾟ -ﾟ) I really like singing, but then I'm afraid that I actually don't have a good singing voice, and I'm too ashamed to sing in my own time even if it's just my family around me, so I only end up singing when I go to church.
I wish I were a voice actor (and not to sound conceited, but I do have the voice for it). Unfortunately I'm not likely to ever pursue it because I have a pretty realistic idea of the work and the pay, not as long as computer science and networking are steady and pay out the wazoo.
I sometimes take the Internet too seriously.
>>396 go busking to boost your confidence. And hey, as long as you sing from the heart, it doesn't matter how well you sing :) I mean look at me, I'm a BACKING VOCALIST, trust me
>>401 You're assuming that I have enough confidence to perform in public in the first place.
But yeah, I'm planning to try to get into a choir by the end of the year, so wish me luck. ( ﾟ ωﾟ)
Sometimes I forget what site I'm on. Am I supposed to be a DQN, or a VIPPER?
"Very low level" realities of Chinese martial arts
中国武術の実力は実際のところ、世界一どころか、きわめて低レベルに過ぎない。 In fact the Chinese martial arts skill, let alone the world, only a very low level. 天下無敵のイメージは単に映画と武侠小説によって作られた神話なのだ。 Invincible image is a myth created by film theory and Wu 侠小 only.
世界的な映画スターのブルース・リー。 Global movie star Bruce Lee. 格闘家としても超一流だったと信じられているが、実は強度の近視で、ほとんど試合をしたことがない。 It was believed that as a world-class fighter, severe myopia in fact, almost never match. 全米空手王者を獲得したというのは間違いで、大会の優勝歴といえば香港高校アマチュアボクシング王者ぐらいだ。 National karate champion that won is incorrect, it is just like high school champion in amateur boxing tournament in Hong Kong speaking of history.
では、散打選手の実力はどうだろうか？ , The ability of the players are scattered shot you? 近年、日中対抗戦、中国対世界対抗戦などが行われ、中国は見事な成績を収めている。 Recently, the team competition during the day and made the world team competition against China, and China is very well, stunning. しかしこれも相手が弱かったり、散打選手に都合のいいルールを採用したりすることで作られたもの。弱Kattari opponent, but it's what made the rules or to adopt a fair-weather players scattered shots.
I don't care for wearing silk cravats
T think too much before answering a question on my Formspring...
When someone talks about enjoying life, I always feel guilty for being in pain, and end up feeling worse.
I wanted to write this on that 4chan thread yesterday, but didn't want to spoil their fun.
I think that >>411 should kill himself for going to niggertits and should be beaten just for mentioning that shithole.
I once posted someone's personal information on Encyclopedia Dramatica, and I still feel badly, even though I removed it.
>>412,415
(・ω・) Please stop this BBS elitism way of thinking; it's unscientific and ultimately destructive.
I whizzed on the electric fence..
Sometimes I samefag, and hope someone will notice. Its the only chance I get at having someone seem to pay attention to me.
vc: wo as in "wo is me."
I miss Hotaru maniac.
Confession: Sometimes I urinate onto my stomach.
I was high today and I kind of pissed on my boxers while I was in the bathroom.
I'm high as well but there's nothing funny about my urine.
Seiji Sawamura is the toughest seventeen-year-old in town, feared by all for his fighting prowess and his deadly "devil's right hand.
He, Seizi Sawamura challenging year, he's fighting ability, I was the devil I'm fine, 17-year-old "old is very important, please please please have more information.
I'm gonna be a day late with my homework assignment
I had to finish my iced coffee too quickly to enter a facility that does not allow beverages and got brain freeze. Now I'm jittery.
I wish I had guts to use my tripcode for all posts. Maybe I would be popular by now if I did so...
My hate for tripcode users borders on racism.
>>430
You wouldn't be popular anywhere "tripcode" means anything, so no.
>>433
Hang on there, pardner, you seem to have a plank in your eye.
being happy makes me depressed.
I saw a post in another thread that I found quite hilarious and started looking for the retweet button...
[No]
Seiji Sawamura is the toughest seventeen-year-old in town, feared by all for his fighting prowess and his deadly "devil's right hand.
I hump my bed in my sleep.
( ´ω`) My robot says "Beep boop" instead of beeping.
I think I may be a sociopath.
I don't like fiction, because I'm literal-minded and it feels like reading a lie.
>>292 somehow reminds me a little of a certain character from Wings Of Honneamise.
>>443 All I remember about that was cool planes, a launching rocket, and a lot of boredom.
I have a box of ripped tights I've kept from girls who put them in my bin
I apparently had an e-stalker that has been tricking me into thinking that I was talking to somebody who I used to think was important.
I left something easy until the last minute.
Needles to say, I had the last laugh.
needles
I've been mentally ill for most of my life, and I feel guilty about that.
I feel not the least bit of guilt about >>453's mental illness. Hmm. Should I feel guilty about not feeling guilty?
On those rare occasions where I visit 4-ch, I post in as many different DQN threads as possible. By now, the DQN front page should consist entirely of threads whose last post was mine.
ゆっくリしていてね！！！
This is a very serious problem. Ever since I could walk I have been unable to put on pants. I have always been outcasted and chided for not being able to wear anything other than shorts. I am now moving to Massachusetts where it will be very cold and I don't think I will be able to continue to wear shorts. Please give me any tips or tricks that you use to put on pants. Thank you.
I have pretty much average height and I am kind of ambivalent about it.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1263299242/ is tanasinn
I like my girlfriend sitting on my face while she's on her period
I also like >>461's girlfriend sitting on my face while she's on her period.
DQN is not funny. Somebody deleted my post.
I want to find people who post things in the wrong threads and interrogate them for roughly an hour.
Sometimes I get confused between Beady Eyes and Clonepa
ゲイマジック永遠に
I went to Yoshinoya with my family, and I ordered the extra-large with extra sauce, just because it was 150 yen off. Can >>1 ever forgive me?
I pretty much just use the CTRL+V thread to post things that are slightly amusing yet depressing, soberly aware that it's a dangerous vector to them possibly becoming kopipe and hurting other people's feelings.
I do it because I am a slightly amusing yet depressed individual.
I don't really love her, I just say it because I don't want to hurt her.
('A`) I've accidently ate some maggots.
I just poked myself in the eye with my thumb, entirely by accident.
I sabotage my life with my pessimism.
>>473 I've accidentally licked up dog's blood... and it was pretty nice actually
I'm kind of gay for a guy I met on Thanksgiving.
I like reading fiction if it explores a real-life problem, or if it involves reconstructing theories. Where's history gonna go if we can't think ahead before it happens?
I'm so embarrassed to fart in public, I have developed a method of letting out farts in a slow, gradual way, so that no one notices until I'm long gone.
>>479 does it not depend on the present company? I wouldn't fart in front of my girlfriend but me and my friends sometimes go to local farting competitions
Are the farts ever wet?
Do you guys have a panel of judges that rate the farts, or does everyone vote or what?
>>481 it's a local thing, not exactly annually but we often get together. It's really just an excuse for everyone to get drunk afterwards, but there is a proper panel of judges, just local well-known personalities
It's personal style really, I know a few people come from the "wetter the better" school of thought. Me, I go for dry loudness. I wouldn't say this if it wasn't anonymous but, my secret has been stretching my bumhole slightly as a result of masturbating with a marker pen in my bum.
captcha: klefe
I am pretty disturbed by the above conversation, kinda shy about it but not gonna lie.
Despite my experience in assfucking, recieving partners have never felt the need to expell trapped gas while being penetrated, much to my dissapointment.
Don't worry, 485-san! One day you'll have a partner who'll expel as much gas as you desire while you fuck them in the ass.
I so rarely have anything in my clipboard that's fit to share, when I do I get all excited and hurry to paste it in the Ctrl-V thread.
I pulled out and jizzed on my girlfriend's stomach, then went down on her to finish her off. When she came she jerked up and I got a glob of my own semen all over my face.
I like to blow up used condoms and make bukkake balloons, which I then threaten to pop over my girlfriend's face. I wonder if there's a porn site idea in there somewhere.
A heroin addict asked me if I had £1 so he could go to the morgue to pick up his dead daughter. I didn't give him the money but I hope the story was true this time.
>>488
Reminded me what it's like to lick my own semen off her chest.
Sometimes I worry that I make other dokyuns depressed by talking glowingly about my love life. I don't mean to rub it in, I'm sorry! There's someone out there for you if you look :)
Having 2 girls going at the same time has halved my happiness, not doubled it.
Why did I ever even think of coming here, with full knowlege of what'd happen? At least my Dwarf Fortress is going well.
>>496
Knowing the consequences of passion does fuck-all for stopping what you do under its influence. I would know!
Speaking of, I could never help thinking about my ex despite having plans to move in with the girl I'm currently dating but, well, not really in love with.
Two days ago I got all euphoric over her, reminiscing about everything we did together as I absent-mindedly jotted it all down in my journal - which only made me more lovesick. Last I heard she was working a new job and living with some dude, said she was happy and such. I had refrained from interfering, thought I'd let her move on and such.
Call it selfishness; I shoot a friendly email, ask how things are going, tell her I'm just "checking up". Today I get a reply. Says he left her, she got fired, she's all alone and isn't happy at all.
I know it would be horrible, absolutely terrible to ditch my relationship and go for the rebound. I really want to.
>>497 Hey me too kind of. I am madly in love with my girlfriend and see myself living my life out with her happily, but I did send my ex a text on her birthday... I just thought to be nice since it was her 16th and all, kind of a special one.
>>497
You should show her you still care and see how things go from there.
DQN advises me on personal relationships.
>>500
Oh... I'm afraid I'm in a similar position and can't help. Sorry ( ｀Д´)
Don't do it! He'll become stronger than you can imagine!
Man, I can imagine some pretty strong things....
The main reason I love my girlfriend is she lets me lick her menstrual blood, that's a rare find.
I wrote a song about it called "I Love You Because You Let Me Lick Your Periods"
I often think there's people watching me or monitoring my thoughts, so I do tricks and thing to try and impress them like throwing my hat up and catching it without looking. It's only more recently that I've noticed how often and how long I've done this for, pretty much all my life, without thinking anything of it.
Pull back the covers, count the bloodstains that we find
Some are yours, and some of them are mine
I bet this isn't really what you had in mind
When I said "Let's leave some memories behind"
I love you because you let me lick your periods
It's partly why I wanna be gettin' serious
I love you because you let me lick your periods
But I'll still be in love when your pipes are runnin' dry
[second verse required]
[chorus]
[melodica solo]
[chorus]
[outro]
I'm 21 years and have never worked a single day in my life.
I'm considerably younger and have worked quite a few days in my life.
It's overrated.
I am afraid of being molested by women.
I have decided to start maining Kagura in JUS after I saw this one person using Kagura to beat two Dio users.
I changed my name for a couple of fights to "USA#1" in a japanese fighting game and beat everybody I was fighting with an over powered character.
I claim to be a pro gamer, but I just watch LP's and have only played 2-3 good video games.
>>519
I watch TASes and then find my own game play to be super inadequate.
Then I cry.
Then I cry with joy when I destroy the first boss on Sonic 3 in 6 seconds with the fire shield.
Then I drown on the next stage.
Then I cry some more.
I can't remember my mum or dad's birthdays, but I can remember hidden combos, cheats and special moves in obscure games for Megadrive, NES, Sega Saturn and PS1, plus the order of the first 251 pokémon, as well as what level most of them evolve at.
I also always spell pokémon with the "é", but not a capital letter because I wouldn't spell "animal" with a capital letter.
I never bothered to learn any kanji
I like feeling stupid and loving but I hate that I'm forcing myself to be this way.
I can almost sing the "crazy like a fool" part of Daddy Cool without any pitch shifting. Almost.
I must admit that I tried to use an imageboard today and I got really enraged when somebody replied with a stupid remark and dull image macro... to someone's else post.
I am an fish.
>>530
That's true. I must admit that I tried to create my own image macro and get in that virtual fight, but it went wrong. I'm going to stay SJIS for the rest of my life.
I like to add a space before Alt+19 and pretend that I leave in J-RPG world ‼..
And I don't even proofread my own posts. Oh, that stupid "leave" always taking the place of "live" ‼
>>534 it must be vile as well. I'd go to ttp://jun.2chan.net/b/ if I'd need some images for myself
I must admit that I'm quite stocked after thoughtless days of my youth. Oh well, I just made myself feel old and tired.
A really lovely girl just text me saying "your so amazing" but rather than say thanks and chat with her i said "You mean 'you're' xxx"
>>538
That sounds about right.
I'd expect nothing less from a dokyun.
I'm currently on my school computer browsing DQN, in an effort to kill time while I wait two hours for someone to finally care enough to come take me home.
Oh, to be an otaku...
>>540-san, you should become a NEET. It has a certain benefit of not having to wait for anyone or even making others wait, because you won't be able to manage your time properly.
／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣\
| Don't think. Feel.
＼
／￣￣￣|／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| And you'll be NEET.
＼__________________＿＿_________________/＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
.＼|
＿＿／＼＿＿
＼TANASINN /
CHANNEL ☆
|／ ＼|
ｧ'∴´´´^ゝ (⌒ヽ ﾉl_ ｡☆
ミr'(∴｀ｿﾘ ☆。 〃´￣∴ く ’
`(l∴´∴｀ﾉ ﾉ/j/{"}∴ﾘﾄ + *
./T∴∴∴h ☆ /＾ﾙ(∴ﾟ∴ﾟﾉヘ、
| .∴∴∴：|.| ｛：∴∴}i兆〈ﾍ.：｝
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
>>541-chan, there's no way I can do that.
I have pressure to succeed, and my family would honestly destroy me before letting me disgrace them as a NEET.
>>544
It's also possible to be depressed because of a constant realization that you're a burden/not achieving/useless/helpless. While it might sound emo, it's not really like that. It's more like turning yourself into a passive observer, watching how trends go past, how your friends become successful, how time slips by... It's an attempt to fade away, to disappear. A social suicide.
By the way, I must say that "Un homme qui dort" was a very interesting experience.
I browse DQN in the boardroom.
I stole $600 from my dad because he just moved to NZ.
Wait, that's not particularly lame. ;D
_________________
>>547 is awesome.
>>548
To be honest, though my job is great, girlfriend etc, I don't have that much time for friends.
DQN is one of the few 'friends' I keep in daily contact with. Am I *pizz*ing my life away?
When I was a kid, I had a small crush on Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service.
>>550
I know a guy who is just like you. Are you that guy?
And relying on DQN instead of friends is alright, I find much more
interesting stuff in CTRL+V thread than they tell and send to me.
I havnt visited DQN since they implemented captchas.
I didnt miss anything.
i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
I am scared to touch dirty underwear
I'm bisexual.
No one knows it IRL.
This is the first time in two weeks that I've brushed my teeth.
I've come back to this this board after months only to find out that I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. Did I change? Did DQN change? Meh...
I used the term "mobile oppression palace" in a serious paper and it made perfect sense because it was about colonialism.
( ・-・) Does the "mobile oppression palace" have an elitist superstructure?
I like to sniff solvents. Not to get high, just for the smell.
I like to sniff my farts. Not to get high, just for the smell.
( ・-・) Let's back up. I'm trying to derail this thread. >>566, do you do this in the "mobile oppression palace?"
I wish Everybody Loves Clonepa was a real show. I'd watch it religiously.
>>566 Do you have a hybrid car?
Every time I smell one of my own farts, I think of the South Park episode titled "Smug Alert"
Every time I visit the Elitist Superstructure, I refuse to leave until I have replied at least once to every thread on the front page.
I need to pee.
I haven't brushed my teeth today.
I have never felt "brain freeze." Probably because I was a really nice kid with a limited access to cold drinks.
But now... Nothing can stop me now!
>>574
If you keep being rude, it will certainly go nowhere.
I didn't shower today and slept with my cloths on.
I've got class in 20min; I'll just rock an overcoat and call it a day.
Whenever I watch this, even if I was in a bad mood before I feel a little bit better.
God damn adorable!
Somehow name field lost that option with a cute SJIS face. So, I accidentally copy-pasted&posted it with !ESpeoN/nPA part. I feel silly and extremely regretful.
It's Saturday morning and I'm in a cubicle. ~_~;
My hand is on my penis.
>>584
You should let it build up for a couple of days. 3-4 works best for me.
Last night I masturbated so hard I sprained my hamstrings or something
One time in work, the manager I'm assistant to was out of the office. She left me in charge of East China's operations and customer relationship management for a day.
I freaked out and started thinking my whole life was a set up, that I didn't belong in a position of responsibilty, that I was a useless NEET hallucinating everything good that happened in my life after I was 16, that everyone around me were actors, and that I had somehow become lost in a simulacra of the world tuned to "not fail".
I locked myself in the bathroom and typed an incoherent post on DQN, begging Lain Iwakura for help, and for DQN to contact her for me. I figured DQN would know how to get to her. Then my phone couldn't display the captcha. It took me until after lunch to get sane again, and then my training kicked in and I chased everybody I needed to chase and typed whatever I needed to type. At the end of the day, my regional reports came up green and I had a long talk with the regional sector head about radiation and also about Chinese girls.
( ・-・) ...Going crazy and looking to Lain and DQN for help.
>>584 either really good or really bad. depends on what's actually happening.
I knew I had genital warts, now she's telling me I should get checked up because she found warts downstairs.
teeheehee
I copy and paste all emoticons ( ・-・)
I really envy those who can enjoy life.
>>592
Me too. In addition, I flat-out hate the emotion of love and all who feel it, mostly because it is something I am too cold-hearted to ever know.
I haven't studied for any of my exams this week
I have a massive collection of porn and hentai I only ever watch, never masturbate to. I don't actually even masturbate. I just like porn.
I only masturbate to text files, binaries are pig disgusting
I keep trying to find Natsuko "Gal" Sone taking a crap.
By the power of Greyskull... I HAVE THE POWER!
>>601 it's easy to big yourself up on an anonymous text board isn't it? i actually am a sex god though
>>604 actually it's pretty hard. You might end up in your own delusional world if you lie to yourself too much. In this case everyone WILL call you an aspie.
My lame soundcard ensued in a computer crash when I tried to play the first track of the first DQN album too loudly.
>>605
At least he's not that one guy that doesn't get the clue that tripcodes are for jerks. Ahaha!
>>609
They aren't. For example, Sparky4 wasn't a jerk. And usage of WinME as a server OS was hardly delusional at all.
Anyway, DQN is the elitist superstructure. Tripcode is a great tool for establishing elitism across the globe!
Well...I came here
>>610
Sparky4 isn't a jerk only because he doesn't realize how annoying his senseless ramblings are, as well as his inability to defend against criticism, resorting to attack, albeit very weak. His actions are mainly unintentional and unpremeditated.
I just lost my ship in EVE Online in a rather silly circumstances. And I AM MAD AS HELL now (and I'm not going to play it anymore).
I exceed the FDA-recommended daily allowance of internet every single day!
Impressive, I know.
>>614's head is going to be fat with memes.
I'm just a worthless genius using my talents to impress people because I want them to like me. And when they do, I ignore them, as I quickly become bored with all pretenses of friendship and romance.
I still laugh at "Microsoft Sam reads stupid Windows errors" videos.
Im 19, not too ugly or fat, and never had a girlfriend probably because Im too shy and its expected for men to make the first move.
>>618
Come back when you're 29 and have the same problems.
I occasionally spend up to eight hours a day browsing omegle insulting people. Not even to troll or find conversation, just insult people
I'm off to buy overpriced weed!
623, did you mean "Wizards of the Coast"?
>>624, did you mean "blizzards on her toast"?
captcha: dead urk-
I kind of like Windows 7.
>>626
Press Win+Tab. It will totally blow your mind!
I released the emergency mittens without it being an emergency.
I can't bring myself to post in all-caps in the ( ˃ Д˂) Post Angry Things!! (340)
thread because I'm shy and I can't force myself to act less shy on the internet! It'd
be so out of character and so embarrassing.
If you were to meet me in real life you'd think that I'm trying to roleplay Fluttershy.
Saged because I don't really want anyone to read this.
I fondle myself in my sleep.
>>632
You're basically doing a MitM attack on their sleeping connection. Evil!
I must have a pretty good immune system because I stick my finger up my bum and then lick it all the time and I never get sick.
Always stretch after doing sit-ups. I used to skip stretching, and had developed incontinence.
>>638
Good thing that I don't exercise at all!
I slept 14 hours last night
I slept with a 14 year old last night
I slept alone and unloved last night
Pff, sleep is for dummies. See, if you skip all that boring nighttime nothing-doing, then you can get much more accomplished. Just look at my success!
>>643 You're about as successful as beady eyes. Get out of here!
I frequently use my colourblindness as an excuse to wear odd socks, despite the fact I can tell them apart quite easily.
I'm on kind of a field trip away from the big powerful conputer. But all I do is experiencing the free unlimited wireless internet access on my kindle.
Oh, to whom am I lying?.. I'm staying in the town where I grew up. The flat's full of stuff that brings back childhood memories. And broken promises...
Damn it, hometown visits even in pokemon games aren't this depressive!
I horribly failed my own tripcode. For this I'm extremely regretful.
Somehow this thread has transformed from its original glory into another diary/chat thread.
On topic, I must confess that I care way too much about this.
Today I ate a piece of bacon and didn't tell anyone else
>>649
Oh hey, I stole some bacon from work the other day. Also I enjoy eating various scraps of meats and cheeses when adventuring to the walk-in freezer for portions to restock the back line.
>>650 doesn't care if it rains or freezes
As long as he has his scraps of cheeses.
I kind of enjoyed the Bloodrayne movie.
>>648
But it's kinda lame to have a severe internet addiction. Anyway, DQN is all about back pats and mutual insults nowadays. It's just like AA (not SJIS one).
Also, I used "conputer" as a joke. It's like "con artist", but "puter"! I'm not sure what does this mean.
Today I drank a bottle of beer even though Im trying to die
diet*
>>656 I liked "die" better. That was unintentionally hilarious.
I dislike Xboxs
I post stupid replies in other threads so that other users will not bother replying to them and instead look at my own thread. it works!
I believe that I'm cursed in some way.
I believe that >>661's thoughts about his alleged cursed status suffer from confirmation bias.
I believe that >>662's curse is to perceive confirmation bias wherever he looks.
sometimes I don't use home row when I type
I made a pointless post so I could 666GET.
vc: ruteness. Yes, I suppose it was.
I met the love of my life by introducing her to the asshole she dated before me.
>>669 You say "Hello [person b] meet [person a]" or something along those lines.
I bumped this thread just to knock out the closed one from the list.
I wrote a paper that was supposed to funny, but the more I think about it, it seems more retarded than funny. But I've already sent it to my instructor.
My life is RUINED.
>>673 let us see it. Let us judge you.
It's better us than your instructor, isn't it?
I shave my feet.
>>676
I never heard of or saw people with visible hair on their feet, but now I Googled it and it seems common. Weird.
Anyway, I really don't think you should be ashamed of it.
I shave eveything (except my hair), because I can't stand the signs of being male.
I love >>679 because he shaves his skin and eyes and tongue and a bunch of other neat stuff!
I feel so bad being an alpha-male on Omegle that I fucking draw girls' portraits (the ones who stay on cam anyway) in order to get them in successively less clothing.
I have cancer.
I also have cancer.
I have a big tumor, but it's not cancer.
Actually, it is. The MRI showed swirly bits inside it too.
I have a tummy! It's full!
I have foreskin, and I'm proud of it.
Once again i'm drunk and i've slSAHED MYSELF UP AND I DO'T Care thAT I ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK
I have to be up and running in a couple of hours, but I'll just give up on studies today. I just can't get a hold of myself.
Orgasmed without cumming
I should go to class today but I won't.
>>695
I started to do this too often due to a peer pressure of posters on DQN. I'm going to have some major problems if I keep this up.
Actually I'm in the world of shit already.
My schedule is screwed up. I don't sleep enough, I can't concentrate, I get anxious, I skip classes, I get even more anxious, etc.
I blame all you for this.
I mean, hey, could it be my fault that I lost control over my life? Obviously not.
>>697
You're not the only one. I blame you for setting a bad example.
I don't have time to sleep because I will either not have enough time to do homework or I'll be late for class, so I spend all day on being tired instead.
I'm the guy who does the "VORUDEMOTO" bumps.
vc: low
I post a lot about my life here.
I checked out other boards for a change and I saw a whole new world.
I want to become a Wikipedia sysop!
My past is more exciting than I tend to think it has been.
I just spent 3 hours watching nyan cat videos.
I've lost control of my life.
I've spent the last three weeks of my life playing Monster Hunter Tri. I've only made it to HR 48, but I'm not going to stop there.
You guys are the only friends I have anymore.
And half of you hate my guts half the time.
I threw up in a rice field, threw a beer can in it and drove home extremely drunk the other night.
i stopped in the middle of masturbating with 20 different porn sites open to come and make this post here.
I haven't posted here in ages.
I came crawling back.
>>709
I don't have real friends. I feel the same way.
Also I've been using this place to talk about myself because it is the only persistent medium I have for doing so. On one hand I don't like cluttering up DQN with my shit but on the other I'm glad there are people who understand and support me in such a small corner of the internet.
I've turned DQN into one huge lame confessional thread. I'm the worst...
Back in the day, when I used to browse THAT PLACE a lot, I got into loli. I used to worry that I was going to be a pedo for life, but now I realize the girls I was guiltily masturbating over weren't too far from my own age. As I grew older, loli lost their appeal.
On the one hand, I'm glad I didn't turn out to be a pedophile. On the other hand, I secretly miss that juicy arousal I was once able to achieve so easily just by reading loli doujin. In fact, H-manga in general just feels too distant from reality these days.
I feel like the people on DQN and SAOVQ are the best friends I've ever had, but I'll never know any of them. This makes me sad.
I honestly prefer using aptitude to synaptic.
Last night, I actually got somewhat of a high from reading about IUPAC organic chemistry nomenclature.
My iPod is full of songs I don't actually like. The only reason why I got them in the first place was because they had become a meme on Nico Nico Douga.
I dislike this thread but feel the urge to say something about myself every time it comes up.
I keep my DQN Electronics in a separate playlist so I can turn scrobbling off when I listen to it.
>>724 awww that's no fun, i like to read up on people who scrobble dqn tracks
I say that I'm a NEET online because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months.
I say that I'm a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time worker that studies when he has time with a girlfriend of 9 months.
I mentally read "ITT" as "in this topic."
I'd her socks.
It makes me sick to my stomach to see "of" written where "'ve" or "have" is meant.
I use the like/dislike buttons on YouTube videos to affect future suggestions, not as a display of whether I liked the video or not.
People that post in threads with sage when DISPLAY_ID is false make me angry. If you don't like a thread, don't post in it. If you don't think your comment is good, don't post it. Seriously, people. It's not a difficult concept, is it? Sage isn't some magical tool that'll make a thread go away! If you post a comment worth anything at all, someone's bound to reply to it, and chances are that he won't use sage, or the person that replies to him won't, or a person replying both of your posts won't. ARGH!
>implying sage isn't magical and doesn't make 4-ch a magical place
>implying that the proper pronoun isn't "whom"
Please stop doing that. Remember what website you're on, or, more specifically, what website you aren't on.
>implying that people shouldn't ever post things they are slightly afraid to post
>implying that not every one of us are 4channelers to the core.
Dont' worry. He'll go back there soon enough. It's the only place he belongs anyway.
Yesterday I jaywalked in front of a cop car.
Fuck the police.
>>741
I got a ride in the backseat of a cop car once. The trunk was filled to the brim with shotguns.
The suspension was really nice.
>>742 I had to ride in the backseat of a cop car. I was being taken to the psych ward of the hospital.
>implying greentext isn't the new meme
Dear DQN, I participated in this ">implying" affair. I don't think it was a right thing to do.
i slept for 12 hours
I have anger issues...
>>743
I was handcuffed in the backseat of a cop car after being arrested back in high school. True story.
I was handcuffed in the back of a police car once for vandalising a local supermarket, and they searched me, she asked if i had anything dodgy in my pockets first and I said no, no i don't, then she found a bottle of amyl nitrate in my pocket and was like "hmmm what's this for?" and i said it's to get a headrush, but it's legal, it's legal! and she said "hmmm what do YOU use it for?" suggesting I liked to take it up the bum, which I didn't at that point in my life. I was quite wasted on various drugs and they said "are you on something, you seem quite spacey" and I got away with it by saying hmmm i'm normally quite spacey or so my friends say, it's just the way I am. Also I pissed myself 10 minutes before I was arrested.
I invaded private propierty.
My first martial arts instructor was named--and I swear to god I am not making this up--Jim Kirk.
I have a problem with using my charm and good looks to lure most girls I meet. But relationships are repulsive to me. Sometimes I just enjoy their affectionate advances. Other times I'm bored.
My friends tend to envy me this. I see it as just another skill - of which I have many.
>>753-san's post makes me bitter, but only because I have an inferiority complex and can't accept other people being good at things without being all misanthropic about it.
Despite the best efforts of documentary film makers, 20th century history is dreadfully boring me at best.
I used to draw a shitty comic of vulgar jokes. At first the characters were called Butt-head and Dorkus. But then I decided that Butt-head sounded too reminiscent of Beavis and Butt-head, and found out that "Dorcas" is a real (albeit old-fashioned) GIRL's name that sounds just like "Dorkus". So Butt-head became Ass-head and Dorkus was renamed to Peter F. Dick (who was also going to have an uncle called Harry Dick, but I never got around to actually writing him in...)
I also named my half-orc in Angband "Dick Halflong" once during a late-night sleep deprivation session. It kind of became a tradition for me, and as characters die a lot in that game, I got up to like Dick Halflong XIV or thereabouts.
Whenever I watch a live-action movie these days, I tend to get dreadfully bored within minutes. I suspect that all these years of watching moeblob anime have ruined me for looking at real, non-exaggerated human facial expressions.
I started to learn Japanese eight years ago, all so I could enjoy untranslated eroge. In hindsight it was so not worth the effort
>>758,759
Are you both early-to-mid-twenties who began learning it as a young teenager? I ask because I, too, tried learning around eight years ago, at which time I was fourteen. This would seem like the common age for intelligent otaku to take a stab at the language.
I still can't read it either, however :/
I started in middle school, personally (age 13). While I originally did it for the eroge, I have actually ventured out into reading more mundane/useful things over the past 11 years....
I can read (not write) about 1000 kanji fairly well now. My grammar will be awful forever. I kind of half-assed the studying, you know?
If the whole programming thing doesn't work out, I do have a shot at translating vidya gaems.
>>759,760
It seems I'm older than >>760,762. I seriously started at age 19, though I did make some half-hearted attempts before then. Currently I can read some 1400 kanji, and write maybe 900 without a reference. I'm still a college undergrad, but having Japanese as major subject helps me not be too half-assed about it. It does have the disadvantage of having to write boring essays about the economic history of tiny villages in Aomori, though. The biggest grammar problem I struggle with is matching politeness registers inappropriately to the situation.
>>763 I started learning when I was 19 as well but I only did it for a year and then my Japanese teacher lost her job and had to go back to Japan. It was heartbreaking, she was a lovely jolly little lady and she started crying in class. So I only really know hiragana and katakana and very basic vocabulary, which I'm forgetting because I haven't studied in 3 years. Which is a shame but I don't have the time...
Every time I spot a translation error in a fansubbed anime/drama, I get the urge to send a correction to the translator. But since most of the stuff I watch was aired and translated several years ago, I figure nobody would give a damn about my corrections anymore, even if I did have a way of contacting the fansubbers. And so the error remains uncorrected, and deep inside I feel guilty for not speaking up.
I self-consciously insert Americanisms into my speech whenever I post on a US-dominated online forum, even though I've never spent more than two weeks in the United States and find it frankly distasteful.
>>766
I do this too. The problem is that people insist on pointing out whenever you use a Commonwealth spelling or idiom, but never when you use American speech. I suppose it's understandable given that these sort of sites are predominantly American, but you'd think people would be more tolerant or at least get bored of pointing out you put a "u" in "colour".
I cheated at "pin the tail on the donkey" at my fifth birthday party.
Whenever I see a highly-rated YouTube comment saying "Thumbs up if condition foo is met", I vote it down. I don't like random strangers telling me what to do.
>>769 there are certain imperative statements on the Internet I am willing to tolerate, but I will never oblige those. Another one I will never oblige is the single word "Elaborate." Yes, what I said was fancy, also get off your retarded high horse if I wanted to say more I would say more; maybe if you were polite about it I might, but ah-ah-ah you didn't say the magic word.
whoops I think I mistook this thread for a chat thread my bad
>>769 I do that too. And "x people didn't y" in regards to the number of dislikes on a video. Youtube memes in general.
I kind of liked the Uwe Boll Bloodrayne movie (the first one, I haven't seen the follow-ups.)
It may have helped that I'd not yet played the game when I saw it, of course.
Speaking of Uwe Boll, every time I go to the local video rental I have to force myself to ignore the Postal movie on the shelf. One day, I need to research just how much revenue a director gets from a single DVD rental. Maybe then my internal conflict will be negotiated to a satisfactory conclusion.
>>769
Obviously it's the younger generation and I'm willing to forgive them for that (I doubt I was better at 14), but I hope the Internet as a whole outgrows it.
Makes me wonder if similar things happened when other means of communication were invented. It must have taken a lot of bickering and oh-for-fuck's-sake-give-it-a-rest before things like written communication became what they are today.
>>769
Whenever I see a comment like that, I vote it up. I secretly hope that somebody "loses it" and assaults somebody else AFK in a feat of rage. I dream about this headline in the morning news: "A dork kicked two butts over a silly youtube comment, before getting his ass whooped by a jock."
These dreams of schadenfreude make sifting through comments more or less tolerable.
I also made a few "arrow in the knee" jokes and rather successfully upset a bunch of "arrow in the knee" haters with a "sword through the chest" variations.
>>775
It only goes downhill from there.
I'd rather avoid reading "written communication" between two youngsters. Amateur radio has its share of pirates and people who can't get it right (however, it's a rather strict community). Phone pranks are increasingly more popular as recording tools, sound boards and other things become more and more accessible. And, well, the Eternal September.
I posted with this name. Again.
I must admit I feel a bit sorry for her. How much do you have to hate yourself before you begin trolling a place like DQN?
>>780
Some people don't deserve sympathy.
So as not to be entirely off topic, my lame confession is that I overuse semicolons.
I felt relieved that DQN still has people who can understand my point of view, like >>780 did!
Wouldn't be able to do much without anyone's support actually.ww
and that's why we will hunt down the collaborators, and send them to the Island of Perpetual Tickling
I overuse em dashes.
Perhaps this is a good thing since ASCII/keyboards don't have a dedicated dash and people seem to have forgotten they exist.
Every time I read a Cracked.com article and a smile passes over my face, I imagine a frat boy giggling at the exact same lines and feel bad about my amusement. I guess the Elitist Superstructure really is the perfect place for someone as snooty as me.
I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.
I come off as intelligent and witty online, but without immediate access to Google I am nothing.
>>789
Don't people become suspicious about your response times to certain messages? If I noticed a consistent delay followed by an erratic, too-quick typing rate I might start to wonder what could initially be taking so long.
>>790
I rarely do real-time communication these days, but people are more forgiving of a minute delay in IRC or MSN than they would be over the phone or in real life. You might have less time to look something up between chatting, but on the plus side people don't expect you to type up a ten paragraph essay either.
Of course with email and message boards, it's easy to write long posts making yourself look knowledgeable about anything.
IRC is the best form of communication
I find XKCD to be unfunny.
I'm 21 and I threw out my back today cutting down thorn bushes with swords.
DQN would eventually lose itself in the recesses of my memory if it were not the browser home page.
>>795
I've lied and told everyone who has asked whether I've seen it that I actually have, only so that they can talk about it while I enthusiastically agree instead of creating the awkward, disappointed silence which follows a lack of awareness of something one holds dear.
I feel guilty bumping threads after several consecutive sages.
I could not get the >>800 GET.
My captcha for this post was, fittingly, inane
>>800
I do. Between the theft of my GET and the reuff talking, ignorant dokyun, I feel like my life can't get any worse.
I tried to sage a thread on my phone and bumped it instead.
I have never seen Revenge of the Sith.
I have never seen any of the Star Wars films. Not even one.
For my high school's senior class president election, I ran and used Emperor Palpatine's speech in front of my entire class, mocking his voice.
I almost won.
>>807
Oh yeah, that was me a while back.
Consider this another post for this lame thread- I posted a video of myself on the Secret Area.
I don't get why qwantz.com is so popular among my friends. The guy has been using the same six frames of mediocre clip-art on a plain white background and combining them with walls of mostly unfunny text in a shitty font for years. What is it about that so-called webcomic that I clearly must be missing?
>>809
Are your friends 17-years-old and/or pseudo-intellectual, perchance?
I'm not good at talking to women.
I haven't watched My Little Pony for a few weeks and I kinda miss it.
I go to 4chan's /mlp/ board and post fluffy pony fanfiction anonymously. Unlike most "fluffy pony" stories, which are about someone torturing the stupid little beasts horribly, yukkuri style, mine attempt to go for the inherent surreal black humor of the "fluffy pony" concept. Everyone ignores me. [spoiler];_;[/spoiler]
I like to massage my breasts with my bare feet.
I spelled "tattooed" wrong...
I am not in elementary school, but I sometimes play games on easy mode.
I actually spent thirty seconds contorting myself to try to recreate >>816's acclaimed feat.
I once ended up in a strange AIM conversation with a friend as to whether she could lick her own nipples. She attested she could if she pulled her breasts closer to her face, and did it there and then, describing the act. To her it was an innocent bit of fun. To me it was a chatlog I've had saved for almost ten years.
>>822
How old were you when you saved it, and why did you delete it in the end?
>>822
One of my ex's said she liked to lick her nipples in the shower.
I'm licking my nipples right now and I'm not even female.
I frequently fart on my boyfriend's dick while spooning
>>832 go to the fart thread in 4chan's /d/ board. People in that thread love stories about women farting on their boyfriend.
I play all video games on the lowest difficulty setting.
I don't know how to italicize here
>>835
I continually cheat at video games. In fact, I won't buy video games unless you can cheat.
Post too long. Click to view the whole post or the thread page.
>>840
Err, no. I only go to *chans when somebody sends me a link which is quite rare. Anyway, what happened there? Rob was 19 again and everyone was having a blast, weren't they?
>>841
He's 19? I thought he was like, 17. I vaguely recall Jkid ``blackmailing'' him for being underage.
Someone mentioned demoscene, is all.
I don't know who you are talking about.
Rob is jarig is a mighty fine demoscenish meme: ttp://www.pouet.net/prod.php?which=7084 - just look at the list of release parties.
I must confess that Skyrim has deeply affected me.
After playing as khajiit for some time I decided to take ALL THE SALMON! And I did so, stealing, catching or just taking - the way of obtaining it didn't matter. I always have around 200 pieces of it in this game and eat the surplus.
As a result, every time I see salted salmon in my local supermarket, I can't help myself but buy one. Thanks god, I'm not a kleptomaniac AFK.
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
I just searched someting using Bing and I found what I was looking for.
My name isn't Andrew. I feel so out of place.
I'm David.
So am I.
Ah, screw it. As a great man(?) once said, "shit lets be david".
Andrew is a good name.
I'm Andrew.
>>852
Shit, lets be santa.
I'll be your mister claus.
Can I be the Santa from "Dragon Pink"?
>>855
...and we'll fade away on~ christmas day,
in a jpeg impression loss.
do do do de de do do do dee do dee
VC: joy
I used to tolerate people that read Homestuck and watched My Little Pony.
I like ST: Enterprise better than ST: Voyager.
I like ST: Voyager better than Deep Space Nine.
Every once in a while I notice the words "Blue Moon" in the stylesheet list and get that song stuck in my head.
I get very sweaty from even the least difficult exercises and minigames on Wii Fit.
Sometimes I get impatient with /dqn/ and reply to my own posts in threads about the previous poster. Afterwards I often feel guilty without quite knowing why.
I avoid using the word "ironic" because I'm afraid that people will tell me I'm misusing it.
I use a tripcode on other boards.
I am trying to learn how to program the 6502.
That isn't lame, >>868. Similar 8-bit CPUs are still in widespread use in embedded systems. I daresay you might even get a job programming the 6502 with that skill. I demand lamer confessions.
>>869
What if I told you I'm only trying to learn it because of being a rabid Elite fan?
I watched Cyber City Oedo for the sole purpose of confirming or denying my suspicion that Benten was in fact the vampire being talked about in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Q6AwrGUkQ
I mean, look at him. (But no, he isn't.)
I intentionally dumb down my writing on IRC and most boards.
It's not that I'm intelligent or anything, I just type properly and I don't want people to think I'm somehow arrogant.
>>872
What do you mean by "dumb down," like typing in lowercase? That's not being an idiot, it's being more practical... less time and effort with the same message expressed in the end.
>>874 I beg to differ. Consider the classic example "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse", which expresses quite a different meaning when written completely in lowercase.
I continually make redundant statement continually....
I continuously get "continuously" and "continually" confused.
Oh well, at least people can imply what I mean from the context.
>>872
I only that do that if lowercase is most prevalent, eg., in #4chan. With different friends however I'll mimic their writing style to the fullest extent.
>>874
I actually type faster in sentence case, because that's how I'm used to typing. It takes more time and conscious effort to lowercasify what I type.
You are the kind of person I am worried about, though. I don't want to look snobby when everyone else is using shorthand and all-lowercase, then I come along and type in proper English, (apparently) putting more work in.
I make replies in threads that shouldn't have all that many replies.
I defaced a public bench today with the words “BUMS DO POOS”
>>887
To disambiguate, I make replies to specific posts in threads that shouldn't have replies to specific posts. You should be ashamed!
"lame" is an anagram for "meal." That is suddenly fascinating to me this morning.
"Lame" backwards is "emal".
That's kind of like "email" or "eval".
I care.
I just lied to this girl I chat to online about being naked.
I'm actually wearing a pair of boxers and a watch.
If I'm talking about a serious or academic topic, I often dumb down my spelling and grammar so people won't take me too seriously if I turn out to be wrong.
swim is nearly the same upside down!
I'm afraid of woodlice. It isn't quite a phobia, but even so.
i went nearly a month without reading /dqn/ and now feel guilty
>>896 me too, and many other harmless bugs, because of the scarab beetles in The Mummy films
I don't like country music except the ones that are enjoyable in a dark comedy / schadenfreude / cynical sort of way. Those ones are hilarious.
(if you aren't familiar with the genre, by the way, sardonic humor is actually a bigger part of it than you might suspect)
I'm severely addicted to the WWW
I have, in the past, had long baths with candles and a book, massages, weekend retreats; all sorts of supposedly relaxing activities - and none of them were ever as relaxing as two minutes of sitting watching the emergency mittens floating down the screen.
When I was a kid, Mom said I had spent way too much time on the computer playing the game. The game said I had only like 8 hours, and computers don't lie, so I called her BS and we got into a big fight.
Only later did I find out that FFVIIPC runs the clock at half speed.
I spend ~18 hours online a day
I spend ~18 hours in bed a day
I can only barely get through stage 2 of Perfect Cherry Blossom without dying.
It annoys me that my favorite cultures are among the most racist.
I have this guitar, but I don't know how to play it.
I went to the bathroom today and I didn't wipe.
our singer writes the worst fucking music and I don't want to tell him without hurting his feelings because he's a whiny bitch like that but god damn it this song is terrible i haven't practised it at all
and when he tells us to rehearse it i'm just going to say
fuck you
let the people who play the instruments write music for the instruments
you fucking untalented hack
you can't even sing
die in a fire
or something
My computer is too slow for the aforementioned social games I do not have friends who play.
I've masturbated to pictures of dissected brains.
Why do I feel slightly proud of myself ?
People's insides really gives me a chubby.
Whenever I'm bored and have an erection I play a game called "What can I jerk off to?" I'll just think about totally random things or look at various objects in my room and try jerking off to them. My research indicates the answer to be "Anything."
>>916
I used to play that game too but I've found the older I get the harder it is to get off.
>>913 oh man I've been there
The only time that I remember
Talking to a girl at schooool
...worried that she might say no!
Ever since someone complained about people derailing the short novel threads with nonsense, I like to do just that to spite him when I otherwise probably wouldn't even post in the thread.
I am far more excited about the upcoming 7000th of September than about Halloween or Christmas.
I've turned my young schoolgirl lover into an addict with weird synthetic powders
>>924
It's supposed to be sequential nonsense, that ties into itself nicely and perhaps touches on the main themes of GSL and Daddy Cool.
Since I lost my job I was waking up well past 11:00, which feels me with a pure hatred of myself every time. I keep trying to wake up earlier, but it doesn't happen. I'm in a hermit-like state as a result.
One time I was playing with a Stretch Armstrong toy with the little sister of a classmate who I didn't like, and when Stretch was stretched out far enough that she began to lean back to stretch further, I deliberately let go so that she fell on her ass.
I get really angry when people post Tumblr links on DQN and then chat in the CTRL+V thread. I bet it's the same guy doing both.
I fucking loved Madoka, however it has forced me to come to terms with the fact that you could probably create just about anything involving cute girls wearing frilly dresses and I'd call it a masterpiece.
I haven't contributed a good post to DQN since at least September 5500.
I didn't understand what "hotglue" was until recently. I thought it was actually hot glue (like from a glue gun) and some people just liked the idea of figures being submerged in it (hey, there are weirder fetishes).
I feel so naive. It's like the time I discovered dakimakura were sex toys and I'd been doing it wrong for years.
If I ever have a kid I want a smart girl because I hate boys and stupid people, but not too hot because I don't want to worry about being attracted to her.
I would quite like to have a daughter that I could dress in frilly dresses and whatnot, sort of like vicarious crossdressing.
While I find the thought of sexual activity in a purely recreational form appealing, the actual process of reproduction is revolting to me.
>>934
That's not lame, that's the kind of good thinking that keeps the population in check.
I accidentally replied to the whole mailing list instead of the sender yesterday.
i would welcome a DQN into my home
I don't have a lawn. I don't even have an ambition to get a lawn.
I'd buy a patch of turf just to let a goat feel welcome, should one visit.
I'm so hungry I could eat a goat
I read the entirety of http://archives.4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1184219871/, and the ending nearly brought me to tears.
I have just finished reading the story of Boatmurdered. I am deeply touched by it. I feel slightly desperate.
>>943
What are these powers? I'd like to check whenever I have them as well!
>>942
I read both the sequels straight after that just to fill the gaping hole in my life. Took days. Fucking killed my grades but totally worth it.
Kryptonite is my weakness.
I missed with my mouse and accidentally pooped the perfect rating on someone's picture on pixiv.
I hit my lips pretty hard when I was lifting my hand in shame and surprise.
>>256
I am now nearly 26 and, despite having obtained a university degree, gotten a basic training certificate (and working towards a more advanced one) and started training in a third language, I am still yet to hold an actual job.
Jesus Christ.
>>948
That's a rather drastic confession, this is clearly not lame.
I broke 4chan's linking system in order to sabotage the republic.
Whenever I was going through the complete collection of NES ROMs that I downloaded, I would pass over "Sweet Home" because the title made me imagine some overly saccharine house building sim or something equally "kawaii" that probably wasn't even translated. Even when I heard it referred to as being creepy a few times, I assumed it was people being sarcastic or just one of those Japanese things that's "too weird" for a western audience. It was only when I saw it referred to together with Clock Tower (which I recently played and enjoyed) that I decided to actually give it a try.
I genuinely get slightly upset when people sexualise Touhou. Needless to say, I keep well away from most Touhou-centric areas of the internet because of this.
I drove 40mph in a 30mph area for a few seconds before I realized where I was and slowed down.
>>949
I wasn't in quite in as bad a way as you, but I got a careerish job after NEETing for two years after college at 24.
I'm procrastinating instead of finishing a picture of the DQN lobby.
Every day I remember about it and feel ashamed. I can't do anything because of the shame!
I'm completely disabled by a sense of guilt. I can only manage to lie down and cry.
So, as the Earth keeps spinning around and about mercilessly, I find myself in shortage of stories about age-mates whose personal lives resemble train wrecks.
That's what helped my loser mentality stay afloat. This realisation makes me quite sad, really. As planet's rotations push me closer to the title of "The Ultimate Loser", I just don't know what should I do and what can I do. I don't even know how to learn this. I just panic when I see the whole picture.
You might be wondering, "What does the Earth has to do with it? What would change for me even if it stopped?" Well, such a spectacular tragedy would change pretty much everything. Certainly I wouldn't have time to pity myself.
I'm posting in the wrong thread.
Or am I?
I took a big shit and took a photo of it on my phone, then set it as my phone wallpaper
>>960 Did you ever see the South Park episode "More Crap"?
Anyway, I sometimes worked with guys who would show off their biggest crap. I never had any impressive craps.
I forgot to fap today, now I'm at a higher risk of prostate cancer.
>>961 I have seen that episode yes. It's not the biggest I have done, but it was just to show my girlfriend, she likes to see my progress
>>964 No, I burst in once when she had diarrhoea and it was messy but she got really embarrassed and I felt bad.
If I ever got filthy, unbelievably rich, I would probably run out of hedonistic pleasures pretty quickly and just bankroll Everybody Loves Clonepa Productions or something.
I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not looking for one. I don't mind it.
All that trouble and annoyance for a price of getting banned 4 times from "the most funny" webforum online!
>>970
Yes, Windows 8 should be banned from the "most funny" webforum online's ex-sub-forum Helldump.
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=36188
Who is lame now, Windows 7?! BRB, installing Windows ME on my Windows 8! #YOLO. #Swag.
When someone says "honk honk" my first thought is Gamzee rather than Chen.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!! ( > ω < )
>>973 My first thought is Harpo Marx.
Can't go wrong with the classics, man...
>>976
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Yama no Susume was so beautiful it brought me to tears.
wat
I just misread "cunning lies" as "cunnilingus".
I just misread "cunnilingus" as "cuntaluffigus".
I haven't seen a film I haven't understood.
When I was registering my new cool Bamboo Pen, I couldn't get the software key working. I mailed all my info to support, the guy said that the key is fine and asked me to check whenever I had the right model selected. I wrote that it was fine and the key wasn't working even thought I tried replacing W with VV, etc. So, that support guy asked me to check it again, but this time he specified to look at the model number. He was right, I selected the older model instead of "Bamboo 3. Gen. Pen".
That was deeply embarrassing. I can't get myself to draw anything due to the stress.
>>989 silly billy, don't let it get to you though, turn that embarrassment and stress into some profound artwork
I really hate this board. It annoys me that there's such a great English text board site out there, and most of its posters are hanging out on what is basically the "forum games" section. Months go between posts on the topical boards, but people post here every day. While I don't want the boards to be lightning fast (and slow boards are generally higher quality), I think you're all doing the site a disservice by playing around in the worst board and not contributing to the pretty interesting threads going on in others. Even worse are the people who liked "ITT: we role-play as grandpa ( ´ω`) [AA] [VIP]" so much that they spun it off into its own site.
It's not that I mind catchphrases or having fun, I just think you're squandering a great website and I hate every single one of you.
I think >>992 is dumb not because his opinion differs fol mine but because he doesn't understand why the other boards are dead.
>>992
Having fun is a more noble cause for a textboard like DQN than any other. I mean we still have good discussion but we're not USENET, not to mention that this is basically what the 2ch VIP boards are like.
Sometimes I don't stick on topic in this thread.
I find Disney princess pretty hot.
