( ´_⊃｀) I will fucking sue you for that.
( ´_⊃｀) I hate the smell of kimchi and of the people who eat it.
( ´_⊃｀) I pretend to be Japanese–American online and claim that I can't speak Japanese because my parents wanted me to only know English.
>>23
( ´_⊃｀) My penis and eyes are too large for me to be Japanese.
Kimchi still smells like dog vomit, and that smell clings to the people who eat it. That kimchi smell clings to them the way cigarette smoke clings to a smoker.
( ´_⊃｀) And India is full of arrogant job-stealing assholes who don't bathe and always smell like shit and curry.
( ´_⊃｀) Come to think of it, that describes a lot of countries, except without the curry.
( ´_⊃｀) How dare you take a long time to back out of that parking place, I've been waiting for ten minutes!! You think I'm going to walk an extra five feet, fuck you.
( ´_⊃｀) America is a superior country to the rest of the world because it's the only place where I can enjoy my bacon wrapped pizza burger with extra cheese and bacon.
( ´_⊃｀) When the hell are they going to install an elevator in this two-floor building? I'm so sick of having to go up ALL THESE STAIRS.
( ´_⊃｀) I'm tired of walking up a hill to go where I need to.
I will aim a nuclear weapon at that hill and create a nice level ground to walk on.
( ・_⊃・) Hi! My name is Yankpa.
( ´_⊃｀) I'm going to park my gigantic SUV in the "compact" space, and you can't stop me because this is a free country!
( ´_⊃｀) My children misbehave, and that's why I must drug them up.
>>31 I was a little started while scrolling down with mah mouse wheel when America Dude's eyes suddenly opened.
( ´_⊃｀) I've removed the U key from my keyboard to avoid looking like a limey online.
( ´_⊃｀ ) Don't worry guys, he's just got napoleon syndrome.
( ´_⊃｀ ) Its funny cause Canadians get very excited when Canada is mentioned on US TV or US politics. But Americans don't even care Canada exists, and could care less what happens in their frozen wasteland of a country. Their ancestors were obviously smart deciding to settle in the part of british north America with the crappiest weather and living conditions, and then staying Britains bitch for another 200 years.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I stock up on food and ammo in my log cabin.
( ´_⊃｀ ) This bacon-wrapped bacon burger isn't bacon-flavored enough! Pass the baconnaise!
( ´_⊃｀ ) The only things people should consume are chicken and beef.
( ´_⊃｀ ) The free market will fix everything.
>>38 How would you be able to type hamburger you stereotypical fat fuck
( ´_⊃｀ ) I am blatantly offended by >>45's usage of the BRITISH word "sandwich", named after the BRITISH EARL of Sandwich.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I propose the name "freedom beef bread oreo".
( ´_⊃｀ ) I believe that freedom can only be tasted on the "freedom beef bread oreo" if the bread were made out of donuts injected with a cheese filling and were wrapped with bacon.
>>49
( ´_⊃｀ ) The donuts need to be wrapped in their own bacon and the donuts also need to be filled with a cheese filling.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I keep my kids homeschooled and snort cocaine before going to work because God told me to.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I snort cocaine and don't work because God told me to.
( ´_⊃｀ ) books are for nerds
( ´_⊃｀ ) Degrees in my country are useless because only nerds have them. As a manager, I only promote people with work experience.
( ´_⊃｀ ) You there, I heard you baked pizzas, welcome to our lab!
( ´_⊃｀ ) Wait, you're telling me there's a 'slow food'? Hah!
( ´_⊃｀ ) the beer I don't drink goes into cooking my fattening food.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I bought a used car for 500 bucks and then had to pay triple that amount for insurance.
( ´_⊃｀ ) My MBA trumps a dozen PhDs.
( ´_⊃｀ ) Americans invented the pizza. Italians merely prototyped it.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I drive a 100% American-made truck so I wouldn't kill the country by supporting outsourcing.
( ´_⊃｀ ) My car gets just about enough mileage from a full tank to drive from one gas station to the next. I think all cars should be built this way, it would be great for the economy.
( ´_⊃｀ ) It's only a coincidence that I sing the lyrics to "Team America" whenever somebody mentions the name of another country.
>>61 ( ´_⊃｀ ) I also don't care if Toyota builds the Tundra in the USA. It still doesn't count.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I'm just better than everyone, coz I'm a AMERICAN!
I won't use the face all the other posts are using because I am too lazy and are too busy eating a cheese steak with ranch dressing to use my other hand
( ´_⊃｀ ) Actually, I do care if Toyota builds the Tundra in the USA and creates jobs, because otherwise I will sue them.
( ´_⊃｀ ) Meanwhile, it doesn't bother me that the Ford Fusion is built in Mexico, since the name Ford belonged to an American man who built cars.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I heard on the news that Russia invaded Georgia, but I'm in Atlanta and there are no soldiers anywhere!
( ´_⊃｀ ) Pornography is immoral and it should be illegal.
( ´_⊃｀ ) I wonder what that stupid nanny-state England is up to.
( ´_⊃｀ ) There's nothing like celebrating the massacre of Indians by stuffing my flabby cheeks with turkey. A true American holiday.
( ´_⊃｀ ) If my local mall doesn't start piping Christmas music the day after Halloween, they must be radical atheists leading the war on Christmas.
≡]¦○/ I won't use your ridiculous smileys, Japs.
≡]￤○/ What's the point in using Unicode, anyway? ASCII has always been good enough for me. If your language can't be written in it, then you had better change your writing system, hadn't you?
≡]￤○/ ( ´_⊃｀ ) I'm not sure how this Usenet thing works, but I don't care -- AOL made it available, so I have the right to fuck things up.
( ´_⊃｀) Why hasn't the rest of the world realized yet that English is the only proper language to speak?
( L_M) I don't have your stupid language support installed.
( ´_⊃｀) I couldn't even read your language if you tried.
( ´_⊃｀) I hate how the burger place makes you bring the sticks of butter for yourself. They make the fucking burgers.
( ´_⊃｀) I wish Steven Colbert would stop pretending to be a comedian. Everything he says is perfectly serious.
( ´_⊃｀) Ever since they got rid of Glenn Beck, I quit watching CNN.
( ´_⊃｀) Waiter, this T-bone steak is too small. Bring me three more!
( ´_⊃｀) My New Year's resolution is to lose weight. Just like the past 23 years.
( ´_⊃｀) I'd like to buy the 100GET, please. I'll write you a check for the deal.
( ´_⊃｀) Why won't Japanese cab drivers take American currency? All the other third-world countries do.
( ´_⊃｀) The world should use American currency. It's the only one with actual value.
( ´_⊃｀) Atheist? No, I'm an upstanding American with values.
( ´_⊃｀) Sorry, I thought you were a deer.
( ´_⊃｀) Who needs to think of jokes when you can just parrot what they say on TV?
( ´_⊃｀) Who needs to watch TV when TVTropes exists?
( ´_⊃｀) TVTropes has too many words, and not enough pictures.
( ´_⊃｀) The New York Times should move to Scandinavia if they like it so much there.
( ´_⊃｀) I can't afford to get sick because I live paycheck to paycheck paying the minimum for my huge house, fancy new car, premium electronic goodies, fridge filled with expensive organic foods, and shiny jewelry.
( ´_⊃｀) When I say "Europe", I mean only England, France and Italy.
( ´_⊃｀) I only ever talk about Europe, Colorado.
( ´_⊃｀) Colorado is in Europe, right?
( ´_⊃｀) I hope they hang Wikileaks Guy for posing a threat to American freedom.
( ´_⊃｀) If I can't buy that brand of candy from a 7-11, I don't want any.
( ´_⊃｀) I'm a happy, healthy, well-educated person who went to an ivy-league university, the tuition from which was paid by my wealthy, supportive parents.
( ´_⊃｀) I'm white poor and uneducated!
( ´_⊃｀) Slavery was invented in America during the early 1800's, where all the white people's in the world participated in its creation so that, after the civil war, they could have a higher chance of getting hired at Red Lobster than black people.
( ´_⊃｀) Why pay for education when I can get about 24 flat-screen TVs with the money it'd take to afford it?
( ´_⊃｀) America brings freedom and democracy to the whole world! Support our troops overseas!
( ´_⊃｀) Nuke the shit out of those Korean bastards. How dare they make weapons!
( ´_⊃｀) ... What do you mean, there's two Koreas? Stupid nips.
( ´_⊃｀) These airplane seats are too small, what a stupid plane
( ´_⊃｀) Damn foreigners. Why don't they speak English like normal people?
( ´_⊃｀) I eat healthy and exercise regularly.
( ´_⊃｀) I saw a nigger on the street asking for change, and I thought "This man belongs in the White House!"
( ´_⊃｀) I don't know why that guy got fired for playing Solitaire at his government job. It's not like he was cutting into corporate profits.
Quick off-topic: A guy got fired for playing solitaire? That's funny, because I know a guy who works as a "security contractor" for the federal government and all he does all day is play x-box. He makes like 100k a year.
( ´_⊃｀) I bet that Wikileaks guy leaked the info that led to the recession, too. I hope they string him up somewhere I can throw rocks at him.
>>116
well this guy made 27k/yr during the bubble. frankly, getting fired may have been a gift if not for how the firing was done
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/10/nyregion/10solitaire.html
and security contractors are known for making ridiculous money in the DC area. my dad is one. he funds my loser-ific neet-ish lifestyle, though it isn't really neet if you go to commuter college i guess.
( ´_⊃｀) You know what's wrong with this country?
Yeah? (´⊂_｀ )
( ´_⊃｀) Liber--
Conser-- (´⊂_｀ )
( ´⊂｀) (´⊃｀ )
( ´_⊃｀) I put bacon under my fashionable white wig so the lice don't eat my scalp.
( ´_⊃｀) I like to pretend ancient and inefficient bike engine technology is superior to anything the Japanese have come up with, just because it's called "Harley Davidson".