In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.

My home was converted into a debtor's prison, where I was held for failing to pay a debt that I didn't remember incurring. All the other prisoners were my age or younger. I joined a group of them trying to get through a crowd to put a specifically colored box in a specific place, then the wardens made us sleep outside in the rain.

I was wandering around an office or high school or similar building and met Carlos Santana's daughter, who had one arm and still managed to rock out on electric violin and we talked about some charity she was fronting. While she did that, I wrote out a little jazzy melody that worked with the secret Carlos Santana Chord Changes for her. She loved it. Later in the dream I heard her playing it on Sirius XM and found out she'd make millions off my song and sent me nothing.

I wish I could remember the melody now that I'm awake.

There were so many butterflies in my room that they started forming little piles on the floor.

I lived in a city where instead of bike lanes there were kayak lanes, people would kayak to work and try to catch fish on the way to eat for breakfast.

There was a new AAA Bionicle game released to the public, which I managed to get my hands on. It played a whole lot like Armored Core 4.

I was back in college and was feeling extremely tired and thought about how I still had years ahead of me before finishing, but then I felt the sensation that it was going to be so worth it once I finished, since I would receive my master degree, and also I was actually enjoying studying once again. And despite the long, sleepless night that was ahead of me, I smiled at the setting horizon thinking that what I was doing was good and fulfilling.

Then I woke up and realized that I had a long day ahead doing shit I hate and felt just as tired as I was in my dream but a lot less motivated.

I dreamt I was helping my ex shop for new furniture, and we were looking at TVs, and there was this mad Sega TV for sale; it was pretty big and black, and the back was all chunky ridges a bit like the Japanese Mega Drive cartridges, and it was backlit with dazzling blue light. It had a big Sega logo on the front, as well as big sort of handrails/pipes. I woke myself up saying out loud "so what kind of TV are you looking for" but she wasn't there.

Dad came by and told me he loves me.

Woke up feeling pretty good after that.

There was a baby elephant in the back garden and my dog and it were chasing one another around gleefully.

I was receiving vigorous anal sex while dressed as a girl.

Woke up with an erection.

I dreamed that I was in Manhattan NY. I was in a taxi cab. I was naked and looking for any clothes I could find in the taxi cab. The cab stopped and I woke up at that moment.

I keep dreaming about my ex ( ._.)

I dreamt I was walking through a corridor in a church parish hall. I passed by a room where children musicians were practicing. There was a violinist, a bassist, and a pianist. They weren't virtuosic, but it was very easy to believe they would attain virtuosity in their adult lives. I began to wish, in the way you can only wish against reality in a dream, that I would go back in time and start over with the knowledge that if I only practiced as a child every day, I could have been a good violinist.

I woke up in the middle of my nap to a buzzing sound. When I rolled over, there was a small RC helicopter in the shape of a cube on my bed. I grabbed it and realized that it had been recording me for a while. It tried to get away, so I pressed a button that turned the rotors off, then pressed the button again and let it go. My roommate walked in a few minutes later and I asked him, "Did you fly a drone into my room to watch me sleep?" He said, "Yeah." I asked why. He laughed and said, "Just think of what we can learn!" I wanted to interrogate him further, but he glitched out of the room.

I had a dream my bed was trying to hit on me and had a female text to speech voice and said it was gonna wear lingerie and stuff. And there was like a sexy nightgown thing on laying on the bed.

A game that I backed on Kickstarter in 2012, which drained all of its budget away with poor management and staffing, leaving it funded out of pocket and still not released got a release date announcement trailer.

My apartment building installed some metal grate which could only be opened from the inside and nearly left me locked out.

Then I met the Counter Strike dev team.

I was swimming in the ocean with my family, when I was attacked by a great white shark. It came up from underneath, swallowed me legs-first, and bit in deep around my midriff. Then it dragged me under the surface. I struggled but the teeth were sunk in deep and my movements were somehow sluggish and weak. I realised that I was going to die. Without the slightest hesitation, I just accepted my fate and stopped struggling.

A bunch of pale, lifeless, naked bodies, some covered in blood and most were dismembered, they were lining a house. I was there, and people were taking pictures. I think it was an art exhibit.

I was going to post on DQN but my alarm woke me up before I could make a post. I wonder what I was going to write?

>>193

prolly ''deez nuts lmfao''

I had a dream I hugged a cucumber and then fell down a flight of stairs. Odd.

A dream where I was being choked, then I was humping someone against the locker I had in middle school. Dreams where I'm having conversations that I plan on having in a few days.

I was breakdancing at work, I did the worm.

I had a nice satisfying dream about feeding my dog and doing the dishwasher.

I was at a christmas party at my grandma's house. I was trying to fall asleep on the couch but some loud niggers were there so I went outside to try to sleep on the porch swing but the niggers followed me there. Then I was playing League of Legends and it was being narrated by the loud niggers. In my dream they kept saying that it was LoL but it looked suspiciously like Warsong Gulch from a really old version of World of Warcraft. I'm not sure if the "LoL" match was a dream within a dream when I finally fell asleep in my dream or if it was taking place within the same layer of dream and was just a random venue change.

I've been dreaming a lot about going blind.

I had a dream I was reading a sort of autobiography written by an ex before she killed herself. (She is probably still alive IRL.) It read more like an inventory, and the last thing I remember reading was the first two lines from a section titled "Sexual activity."

I had a dream where I witnessed the creators of My Little Pony ask the staff of DC Comics to give them all epic origin stories.

I wondered how they could do it, given how many origin stories are based on huge tragedies.

A sadistic old cat slipped into my home and would act friendly and then try to bite my fingers off. Meanwhile, a small horde of rapidly mutating bugs were devouring everything in the kitchen and getting bigger by the second.

I woke up while I was out looking for a can of gasoline so I could burn my house down and kill those gross-ass fucks.

ｇａｙ  ｓｅｘ  ｐｌｓ！

I was some kind of Cory Doctrow billionaire character who had nothing to do and just rented things to entertain me but never really held on to anything. I went to New York to see the unveiling of President Trump's first cloned T-Rex.

I remember making a documentary about Chinese women. It was a discussion about fresh off the boat vs westernized women.

A strong breeze picked me up and blew me away like a leaf.

I had a dream where I was at some comic book convention. Someone was selling genuine Usagi Tsukino style school uniforms. I wanted to buy one, but it was $345, and I couldn't afford it.

I made myself a Christmas card full of pictures of my face and posted a short video of it on Facebook:

>"Who could have gotten me this thoughtful card?"
>open card, revealing note from myself

I got a job as a gun runner, but instead of something cool like delivering guns to rebels in Africa or some PMC I would deliver guns and ammo to old people who were too sick to leave their house. They would call me and tell me what they wanted and I would go to wal-mart and buy it and deliver it to them.

I was back in school and had forgotten to study for a computer science test. The test was in latin and I had to conjugate some verbs for some reason but I didn't know how to conjugate them. I knew I was going to get a 29% on the test.

I was playing scrabble with a Japanese girl. She misspelled "Antarctica" as "Anticarpenter".

I remember meeting a group of people trapped in a building. Someone of them said to me "We have to use magic." My response was "Do I look like Harry Potter? I don't know magic."

This enchantress type broad had a guy tied to a big wooden pole on a beach. She was squatting down in front of him, drawing an elaborated pattern in the sand and placing small weird shaped metal objects on the pattern. I suggested to the guy that he not look at the pattern and he said he wouldn't, but all three of us knew he would, so I palmed one of the metal thingies and hid it.

She got all mad about it and chased me around yelling until I woke up.

I was trying to make some kind of light up disc invention. I couldn't get the pieces to adhere together and the lighting implements were too dim and unreliable.

I remember seeing a news video about a revolver with a square cylinder which held 4 cube-shaped bullets. My only thought was "How is that supposed to work?"

dreams about burgs all the time and im vegetarian, or dreams about lolis

While trying to befriend some kittens I happened to meet a childhood friend I haven't seen in years. His imouto hugged me and kissed me on the forehead, and then he and I took a bath together in the hull of a canoe that was at the side of the room while he talked about how hard it is to get a bathtub installed.

>>218

> Dreams about lolis

I'm jealous.

My research group and I were making fresh spaghetti.

I remember being in the passenger seat of a 1996 Corvette. I couldn't see the driver, but I could see that we were going 180 MPH.

I had a dream that I was living with a German family through some exchange program, and that they had a bunch of completely bizarre unspoken rules that they were very strict about enforcing, and that weren't written down anywhere. I'm not talking about the usual stuff you hear from Germany, I mean arbitrary shit like "don't use a computer at specific times of the day", which, come on, nobody is going to be disturbed if I use my laptop in the middle of the day. I can't really remember any specific examples other than that one, but the basic premise in itself stuck with me.

I dreamed that I was sucking my own dick, I sucked really hard and my bladder collapsed. I woke up having to pee urgently.

Mark Zuckerberg was giving a speech somewhere about how awesome globalism is for everybody but white people. He was wearing a pink bunny suit and had grown a fairly obvious hitler 'stache. Someone in the audience, might have been me, yelled "But you're white!" and he got mad and said "NO I'M JEWISH AND RICH YOU IDIOT GET HIM OUT OF HERE" and then continued his speech.

Then I was alone in the back seat of an old station wagon careening dangerously down an empty expressway and thinking I should probably get up front and drive this thing.

My mother told me about a recent piece of research claiming that you should aim to have at least three hugs per day.

I was a high ranking Nazi officer/Hitler's personal pilot. At some point, Hitler wanted to throw a cat out the back door of the plane, and I wrestled with him until he changed his mind. Later we were sitting in a two-seater variant of the Su-47 (with a tiny forward window instead of a proper canopy) and flying to a farm, where he wanted me to meet my future wife. We landed outside the farmhouse but as I approached it, it caught fire, and we helped evacuate the residents.

>>223
I've had dreams like that, except my bladder didn't collapse and I woke up wet and sticky.The worst part was realizing I couldn't actually suck my own dick.

I had a dream where somebody left several snakes outside my front door. They were blue and looked like they had sapphires for scales. I turned around to get away from the snakes, but I found that there were more sapphire snakes behind me. I didn't know where I could go to avoid the snakes and I was afraid of getting a deadly snake bite when I would try to escape.

I was inside a building that needed to be demolished. I didn't have any explosives or heavy machinery, so I had to do something different. I collected several microphones, amps, and big speakers. I pointed the microphones at the speakers, ran from the building, and remotely turned the amp to 11. I didn't see or hear if the building was demolished.

I was reading some french texts that blended into each other, and someone told me: "you are allowed to overcome things"

>>227
You're not missing much except for having a dick in your mouth, and it's not somebody else's. It feels bigger than it looks.

If you want to try, do it at the end of the day rather than just after waking up, and start by letting gravity do the work: lie on your back, then throw your legs over your head, resting mostly on your shoulders with your elbows only propping you up (hands on hips, helping keep your ass in the air if needed), and try to keep your legs close to the floor without touching it. After a few minutes you'll have adjusted to the stretching and will be able to get your dick closer to your face, because for some reason that's what you want. Uncurl yourself slowly. Do this several days in a row for more effect. Don't fart because it might not just be gas with this level of thoracic compression.

In real life last night I saw a pic my ex posted being lovey-dovey with her new boyfriend. Then I had a dream that I met her at a shopping mall. She introduced a nerdy Asian guy and said, "Meet my boyfriend, Wee Ping." I thought "haha, that sounds like small penis!" I woke up within the dream and told her about the dream on Facebook. In response she sent me a picture with a list of the "Top 10 OK things" about our last month together as a couple, alongside a picture of a 2D girl comforting a guy between her boobs. But they weren't just OK things, they were all really sweet and she clearly still had feelings for me. I felt like crying. She demanded I tell her 10 OK things in return. I wanted to do it right then, but my wife was around and I couldn't risk getting caught so said I'd have to reply later.

Then I woke up for real, left with the reality that my ex's new boyfriend is actually super hot, and I'm sure she is not thinking about me nearly as much as I'm thinking about her, even though I'm the married one.

I dreamed that I really needed to pee, but Yui Igarashi was sitting on my legs and said "Not until I give you permission." She said "Igive you permissions now" and she left me alone. I immediately woke up and peed.

>>235
You have dreams about specific JAV actresses? I'm slightly jealous.

I was at a Japanese high school and I was playing basketball with some of the kids out in the yard. For some reason no one found it odd that a white guy in his mid 20s was there, but they all thought I didn't understand Japanese. Later we went inside to watch a video for class and had to sit cross-legged on the floor, I accidentally bumped shoulders with one of the male students and without thinking I said "ah, suman" and suddenly they all started crowding around me like "UWAA SUGOI GAIJIN-SAN HONTOU NI NIHONGO SHABERERU?".

I had a dream where I was in a video game arcade and I was playing the coin pushing machine. Someone left the arcade and forgot to take their tokens from another coin pushing machine. I used those tokens and got a $750 USD prize.

Most dreams I've remembered for the past seven years or so follow the same formula. I dream that I am in some place from when I was much younger, (high school, my dormitory at university, the house I grew up in, etc.). I have to interact with someone somehow - speak to a classmate, send an email to an acquaintance, whatever.

But I left all these things behind because I couldn't stand them. The people I must speak to are always the annoying ones, the emails I must write are always to people I hate.

I think“Haven't I already done this? I already left this behind. I don't want to do this any more.” I wonder if I'm dreaming, but I can't be sure. So I decide to play it safe and do whatever thing I'm supposed to do. After all, if it's real, I must satisfy my societal obligations.

And then I wake up, and I go to my job, and I have to sit next to the fat vegan who laughs too much in a high-pitched voice, and I have to talk to the guy who goes to the gym and thinks he's informed about politics, and I smile politely when everyone won't shut up about the Palestinian conflict. I wonder if this, too, is a dream.

Met up with a bunch of imageboard nerds and it turned out they were all 16-ish instead of twenty-something. They all kept spouting some House related meme.

>>239
I also have had recurring dreams for several years. However, the situation is always me being naked in a crowded city and trying to find clothes before getting arrested for public nudity. I would often use optical illusions used in Austin Powers movies to hide my penis from the public so I wouldn't get arrested.
>>237
I would sometimes dream that I just got off the plane in one of the airports in Tokyo, and some men would ask "Nikushoku Danshi? Soshoku Danshi?" I would always be unsure about how to answer that.

Does any man really care if some tourist is a herbivore man or not? I'm sure there are women who might like to know, but I am not sure if men care if tourists are herbivore men or not.

I had a dream where I was with BBC's Top Gear crew in an Australian desert. We were beating the hell out of cars that we hated. One of the cars that I hated had a robot voice chip in it, and when I crashed the car, the robot voice stopped. It felt really satisfying.

I was in a futuristic dystopia city. My mom and some other people were trying to protest by graffitiing a museum exhibit several times, but eventually they got caught and arrested. I felt like something was suspicious beforehand and bailed, so I didn't get arrested. Doppelgangers of several people were showing up, and my dad's invited me to take a walk and smoke a joint as we tried to figure things out. As we were walking my friend commented on a gangster's murder saw thing. He overheard and threatened me with it. I think there was a rich mermaid.

I was walking up a steep street in my home town. I passed a shop which had printed on the window, in small letters, "NATIONBLOB NATIONS NATIONY".

Everyone in my house was arming up and in a quietly paranoid state, certain that the Enemy (whoever that was) was just outside and about to break in. I snuck out of the house and looked around. Not only was there nobody else around, but there was just a vast empty plain in the unnatural blue moonlight, with the occasional couch or table scattered about. The grass was giant sheets of green crafting felt.

I had a dream where I was having sex with a cosplayer who had huge boobs. She was cosplaying as Sailor Jupiter and she didn't take off all of her costume to have sex, and that just made it even more exciting for me.

I had a dream that every cute girl who ever smiled at me came back and confessed her love. One was my friend's wife and I thought it was pretty fucked up considering my friend was standing right there.

I had a dream I could interpret dreams and I should stop reading introductory guides to Lacan already.

I was an advisor to a king or some kind of nobleman, the land he was ruling over was recently conquered and there was still a lot of unrest and an active insurgency going on. The setting kind of resembled Caesar in Gaul, the king and his men were very "Romanesque" and the conquered people were some kind of tribal forest-dwellers. I was also a member of the conquered tribe and held some secret sympathies for the insurgency but I also felt that the rule of the new king would be for the best. There were some kind of magic users from the tribe that could control animals, and one of them possessed the king's dog and made it do a funny dance and then run off into the forest. I laughed at it when I saw it and the king got offended and almost had me executed for laughing but changed his mind when I reassured him that if they had meant actual harm they could have just made the dog attack him.

Norm MacDonald was racing for Toyota

>>251 That's nothing, I once fucked seven dwarves at once!

I had a dream where I was transformed into a magic girl. My arm magically changed shape and a glove then appeared over it. I was terrified and was glad I was able to wake up.

I received an email to say that I was one of two candidates accepted for interview to an internship. They said that both of us were probably better suited to a career in politics, but they were willing to give each of us a chance. They also wrote that they thought it was very unprofessional of me to have written "I have a big penis" in my application.

>>253
I'd watch it

Had a little fadeout at my desk which involved some knockout black actress sidling up to me, caressing the side of my face and whispering "kick my ass" into my ear as she curled into my lap. Coming to and seeing my computer sitting there waiting for me to get back to work was... disappointing.

I went to some sort of space station that was actually an amusement park. The premise was you went into the sewers to hunt Tyranids. They lowered you in through a manhole cover with two guardsmen and two Space Marines along with weapons and supplies. I wandered around a lot but didn't see any Tyranids but I noticed one of the Space Marines was lost. I was going to look for him but one of the attendants told me all the guardsmen and Space Marines weren't real. So I left the sewers and then I was in the casino part or something like that. I got bored and woke up.

DQN-kun waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were tyranids in the sewers. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warning to (*ﾟーﾟ) were not listenend to, and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

I was walking past a church and trying to work out some mathematical problem in my head. It had something to do with factorials, maybe about how factorial numbers are distributed? I feel like I was on the verge of discovering some deep mathematical truth when I was rudely woken up.

I dreamed that I replaced everything with a Boston Red Sox or Chicago White Sox emblem with a Shimoneta SOX emblem. Soon afterwards, baseball stadiums were crowded with people wearing the Shimoneta SOX emblem.

>>261
Ir^2

>>261 Freaky, I was thinking about that as you posted it, about feeling close to a great discovery but what is the feeling that you feel when you think you're close to something? I get something like that from huffing nitrous, everything splits and splits and splits and splits to almost infinity, but never quite getting there. Like the distance between fingertips in The Creation Of Adam, or being 0.999999999... and it not really feeling quite like 1. I read a book recently, The Humans by Matt Haig, which is about a professor who cracks the Riemann Hypothesis but is then killed and replaced by aliens, because humans couldn't handle the power that would come from his discovery. Maybe this happens often

Got nuked

I was running late for work and dashed out of the house to find the world in a state of perpetual twilight. I got on a different bus than usual. I didn't recognize the number, but I was in a hurry and pretty sure it was going the right general direction. As I was trying to figure out where the bus was going, a young beautiful Chinese girl grabbed me by the arm and said, "we need to get off here."

I let her pull me off the bus and then saw why she had done so. The walls were about to go up. In the distance, a line of majestic steel walls began to shoot up toward the heavens, accompanied by fireworks. The walls stretched farther than the eye could see, and were tall enough to reach space.

So, this was the new great wall of China. This was a historical moment that I would never forget. I knew these were not walls built to keep out Mongolian invaders, but to protect us from the sun which was increasing to deadly temperatures.

I dreamed that the sickle in the hammer and sickle is actually the tentacle of the Red God that communists worship.

God I fucking wish.

A guy joined an initiatory order devoted to some form of Eastern mysticism. Eventually, he realized that pretending to be a hedgehog was not his final goal, but only the beginning of his journey.

Verif: gobeable

>>270
Gotta go fast?

Tokiko was a guest at my house, but he was very ungrateful. He wouldn't drink any of the beers I had, opting instead to complain about the beverage choices while feeding his Venus flytraps in the corner of the living room.