In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.

Ganondorf, Link, and Zelda are in an office in an ad for TotK. They are having an archery contest and Ganondorf has already gone. Link shoots with perfect form but it's some clunky wooden monstrosity like you can construct in TotK. Zelda is up next and after doing a graceful only-in-fiction spin, does this goof-ass awkward underhand draw at the extent of her arms' range of motion and the video slows down as she makes a retard face.

Ad #2, same setting. Ganondorf uses some magic to duplicate a brown parchment pattern for the background of a full-color strategy guide (for some reason I can tell that the large medieval-style initials in sequence spell out BLOSSOM OF JERUSALEM). Cut to a public park where there are many copies of the guide scattered about as people drop them in disgust, as it appears a raunchy image of Ganondorf is printed on every spread. But the source photo that got mistakenly watermarked on the back side of the magical photocopies was a more innocent one of him displaying plumber's crack while playing sports in the very same park, and I hear him say "oh no!" in embarrassment.

Had an odd dream recently. A very odd one, normally dreams have some sort of "narrative" to them, some amount of first-person perspective, but this dream was entirely of me "remembering" some facts and seeing visions related to them.

Facts about cucumbers.

Entirely false facts about cucumbers.

I remembered about a process called "jupering," wherein a cucumber is boiled in order to turn the pulp on the inside into a clear jelly. Then, I saw a vision of a cucumber still on a vine being pricked at the bottom, clear jelly pouring out of the puncture and forming into a transparent, jewel-like, shining, dew-like, jelly mini-cucumber hanging off of the base of the original cucumber. This is the goal of jupering, to make it so that your punctured cucumbers can produce miniature jelly cucumbers from their now-jelly-like insides. These jelly cucumbers are fragile and almost liquid, any disturbance makes them fall apart into many shining drops of cucumber fluid. Then I was remembering myself boiling a cucumber and poking it with a knife. A small jelly cucumber reforms from the jelly that leaks out of the now-drained and flabby real cucumber and collapses into clear, slightly greenish fluid. I then saw a vision of a sort of trellis corridor, with walls of cucumber vines growing like grape vines, and a man was steaming the two trellis walls with some sort of steam gun. Thousands of little drops of jelly began to pool out of the surfaces of the cucumbers, forming into little jelly cucumbers that hung off of their now-drained source cucumbers, and they began to fall to the ground, breaking apart as they fell into a rain of thousands of beautifully shining cucumber fluid droplets, scattering on the ground like jewels and quickly dissipating. This is the desired end goal, and I understood then that there is a whole industry of cucumber jupering existing for this one purpose.

Quite possibly the most beautiful dream I've had in recent memory, as odd as that is to say about a nonsense dream about cucumbers.

I'm wandering through an apartment building that didn't have walls between the apartments, so I keep straying into other people's homes while trying to find my own home I was just in.

I was a gifted an old computer. It had a cube-like white case with many ports, and the boot splash screen said "Windows 68030".

I made a post in the cute girls thread. It had something to do with Donald Trump being extremely old, and also Alaskan? I wish I could remember the exact wording so I could make this dream come true.

"Rapeman" appeared in my dream and announced that he was going to molest me. He took off his clothes, and his skin started glowing alternatingly blue/yellow. I easily thwarted his plan by waking up (ca. 2 am).

I heard a voice saying "who soils the earth has to lie under it."

Dreamt that some new card game and/or video game had become popular worldwide and that the main in-game currency was some sort of African berry.
I then went outside to find thousands of pitch-black giganigger sub-Saharan blackest-possible African laborers lining every single street, picking berries off of African berry trees that had now replaced every single normal tree. The berry industry was so lucrative that every tree by the street and in public parks had been replaced with berry trees so that the Africans could make money by selling the berries to people playing the game, as well as use them in the game themselves (the card/video game was just as popular with primitive African tribes), a sort of insane bleeding-into-real-life version of the Runescape economy.
One of the pitch-black African laborers started giving me a lecture on how the trees are a symbol of colonialism because this distinctly African tree had been brought to the West to make hw*te pipo money because of a card game. A white supervisor monitoring the laborers told me that the berries are completely inedible and useless. This was all happening right on the side of a road, these trees had formerly been ornamental trees. I then noticed that one of the berry trees had a different fruit tree branch grafted on. The African berries sort of looked like deep reddish-purple cranberries, this other fruit was bright magenta, the size of a horse chestnut, and covered in long, thick, soft spikes sort of visually resembling durian spikes (but longer and very soft). The white supervisor told me that the fruit was edible and eaten in Spain, while the pitch-black Africans insisted that it's inedible and that they have plenty in Africa and that they never eat it. Dream me was somehow already aware of its edibility, so I took a bite and it was good, but unfortunately filled with worms so I threw it on the ground.
Then I woke up.

>>588
Forgot to mention - all the African laborers were naked.

I saw the trailer of a musical called "Dies Irae". It was some kind of revenge story. It had metal songs, and all the characters were dressed in black. A woman character started a monologue with "You men are so rotten..." I also checked a paperback book about it, which described the characters, scenes, and themes. I would've watched it.

I hallucinated an entire alternate history where my website (now more than 20 years old) actually had been a successful hobbyist project for a time with contributing writers and a forum with occasional posts from all the intervening years that I hadn't even seen somehow. But it was woefully out of date and mediocre now. And yet the people who volunteered content over the years (who seemed to be Internet friends that I no longer remember) wanted to get paid and unionize((?) against me even though I made absolutely nothing from it work and they already had the rights to their stuff.
But mostly, it was not the betrayal that bothered me. It was not being caught up on the forum and responding to legitimate questions people had about the site dying. How had this been going on for years without my notice? My own site's forum, without my participation? Why was this entire new history I hadn't seen conflicting so much with what I knew to be true real life, that my site has never been and will never be what I dreamed of when I started it?
Somewhere in the middle of this, I even noticed all the dreamlike qualities like how all the answers to my inquiries were incomplete, shallow, and absurd with made-up words I can't recall. But I didn't wake up so it kept going.

Boarded a ferry on my motorcycle, accidentally dropped it and it started making weird noises. I started disassembling the engine and found that the outer rims of all the valves had seized to the valve seats, and only the inner parts were still attached to the stems. Then I woke up.

I had an otherwise unremarkable dream where I was wandering around an office building trying to find my office because that's where my custom homemade Atari 800xl workstation was and I didn't want anyone to take it since the parts are impossible to find these days and I thought "Not this dream again,"as I hooked up an ottoman with an embedded display in it.

When I woke up, I realized I'd never had that dream before.