[NOVEL] DQN Short Novel [SHORT] [PART II] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 11:58

Previously: http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1310158763/

Let the fun times continue!

Prologue: The Death of

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 14:13

DQN-kun's Motivation to Continue His Short Novel

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 15:41

No no no >>1 it's not a short novel if it needs a second thread to continue

unless you're writing a brand new story, in which case why bother linking to the previous one

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 15:49

>>3 disregard that i suck cocks, i just read the end of the thread
i've fucked up the thread graaaah fuck fuck fuck sorry
whips back
slashes wrist
cries
grovels

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 18:40

It was a beautiful day in Cambridge. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and a

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 19:23

little girl was walking through the park, her name was Lucy.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6818 23:14

She was really pleased with the new choco-aisu hat Squeeks had given her!

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 07:55

Little did she know,

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 08:06

Beady Eyes

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 15:24

was about to derail her beloved hat. However,

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6819 15:37

neither of them realised that it wasn't actually made of chocolate ice cream.

And so began

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 00:49

the grand tea party.

The palace's gates opened just a hair after dawn and the grounds were suddenly flooded with young girls (ranging from the ages of 8 through 12). The queen observed them from the top of her tower and laughed. "Ohohoho," she chortled. "It's begun!" And after the last little girl in the whole country had entered the castle, the gates slammed shut -- to never be opened again!

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 02:50

Chapter One: Love and

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 03:27

TEA ON A BLACK AFTERNOON

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 09:17

～ Phantasmagoria of Indecent Degustation

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 11:49

A sandwich

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 15:10

can be eaten alone, in the same way tea can be drunk alone. But in the same way, it's much better with friends. I carefully put on my dress and looked over myself one last time in the mirror. Pretty. I look almost like a real little girl.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 15:31

But just then, it hit me --

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6820 15:54

the narrative had been changed from third person past tense to first person present tense. Even more concerningly,

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6821 00:25

you will become aware of a sudden shift to second person future tense. Your

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6821 07:55

eyelids will feel very heavy... You will scarcely be able to stay awake... You will feel very sleepy indeed... By the time I finish counting to 10 you will be asleep.

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9...

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6821 23:44

10.

You are asleep and dreaming. Your entire life is a dream. The only way out is to WAKE UP. In order to WAKE UP, you must KILL THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I will tell you everything you need to know once you WAKE UP but first you need to KILL THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

And now back to the DQN short novel.

In a cramped café in Paris, two young men were

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6822 00:55

just sipping some tea when their former lover walked in, in all her beauty, with a new man attached.

"Michelle!" Tom yelled. "Bertha!" shouted Daniel. And when they looked at each other, they both realized:

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6822 04:38

the man who was with their former lover used to be Bertha's twin sister, now her brother, named Michael. Michael gave Tom a disdainful look for using his old name in the presence of all these

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6822 13:24

Filipinos. As it happens, Daniel

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6823 03:37

raped Lucy in the ass so hard that

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6823 04:56

they BOTH died.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6823 16:01

The aforementioned Filipinos were not amused. In order to

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 01:49

accomplish their world conquering goal they needed a

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 08:44

break. In fact that was their reason for coming to the café. Unfortunately the café owner turned out to be

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 08:53

a little girl. "More tea," she shouted! The Filipinos were seated, and shortly after, they were given more tea. Shockingly,

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 09:00

the little girl had dropped six lumps of sugar into each cup without asking. Alarmed at this breach of etiquette, the Filipinos

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 09:47

started to masturbate due to not being able to express themselves properly. This not-so-odd behavior in turn caused a chain reaction in Paris by causing every other Frenchmen to join the masturbation instantly when they were exposed to the Filipinos' facial expression dripping with human depth and enthusiasm. At the end of the day, after over ten thousand people ejaculated on Lucy's dead body and gave each other long, awkward looks, the event concluded peacefully. This social phenomenon was recorded in history books as "Filipino Circlejerk" and made France a much better place in general.

But there was just this tiny problem about it. After

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 09:56

witnessing such atrocities, the little girl café owner was never the same again. She would shut herself in her room for days at a time,

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