when I've been single for more than a few months: oh blessed goddess of mercy, i'm so alone, i need a touch of the divine feminine in my life, i love lavender and sylvia plath and lana del rey, please notice me magic woman-creature

when I've been in a relationship for more than a few months: schopenhauer was right about literally everything, maybe sharia law doesn't sound so bad after all, shut the fuck up about the curtains already god damn i don't care