morning in january. 26 degrees. i get up just before sunrise and get dressed. i go outside and get in a black 1992 chevy s-10 pickup truck, and as i drive off down the street the exhaust from the still cold muffler forms a small white cloud of vapour that dances behind me. i hunch forward a bit as i wait for the heat to come on. the air blows loudly from the dashboard vent, not yet warm enough to melt the frost pattern that dots the windshield.

fifteen minutes later i pull into a yoshinoya. the sky to the west glows a deep blue as dawn nears. as i step from the truck i hear the sound of my feet crackling on the frozen muddy tire tracks in the parking lot. at the top of the cement steps i open the metal door and the bell on the inside jingles as i push myself in from the cold. i eat an extra large, and an order of extra sauce. and two cups of black coffee. then i die