Hello. I'd like to ask for some serious suggestions. I'm not sure how to explain this so I'll just start from the begining. About 2 years ago I met an amazing girl at my school. Lets just say her name is MD. I always noticed her around, but never had an opportunity to talk to her until one day I saw her talking to another one of my friends and joined their conversation. They were both Japanese, and I'm very interested in the culture, so I found it easy to find things to talk about. By the end of the conversation I had her email address, phone number, and I had made a friend. However, at the same time I was becoming close with one of her friends(we'll call her CT) who I thought I had a better chance with. Eventually, we started to date and all of us(me, CT, and MD) would hang out together often. The relationship with CT turned out to be a disaster. We fought nonstop and broke up countless times in less than a 6 month period. She would often be jealous of my freindship with MD which led to the end of their friendship. My feelings for MD began to grow more and more, so I finally gave up on my relationship with my CT. The day after I broke up with her, I found out MD got a boyfriend. I thought I was gonna die. Also at the same time, my brother left home with his girlfriend. I don't think I ever felt so lonely. Anyway, several months later I found out she broke up with her boyfriend. We were talking about it online, and as the conversation came to an end, she asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I really can't describe how happy that made me. After all my bad luck, it seemed things were turning around. I really thought I had a chance. I was soooo nervous though. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I did EVERYTHING possible to prepare for the day I would meet her. Finally that day came around. We saw the movie then ended up cooking something at my house. I was scared the whole time, so it wasn't the smoothest date ever (if you'd even consider it a date), but it still seems like a dream to me. however, it seems that as the day ended, so did my dream. I wrote her an email the next day thanking her for everything. It was days before I got a response. I would email her back, and it started taking longer and longer for responses. Finally It got to the point where I was going crazy. I had lost about 20 pounds at this point. She just didn't seem interested.... Finally I got an email from her saying that she was going back to Japan soon. I emailed her back asking to see her before she left. I never got a response.(btw, I only emailed because it was hard for her to understand me on the phone) The day she left, I stayed up all night hoping to see her online one last time so I could talk to her... at about 3 in the morning she signed on, but right away left. I felt like crap. I never cared for someone as much as I cared for her.. I really can't explain it. Well, a few months later I found out from a friend that she was comming back from Japan to take some more classes! I finally emailed her just to verify it but again got no repsonse. Now, I sometimes see her at school.. our eyes will meet, but quickly leave. We don't say anything to each other. I think it's been about 6 months since we've talked. Nowadays I see her online more often too, but I can't gather the courage to say anything. I don't know what to say. I don't understand why she stopped talking to me. As bad as the situation seems, I feel like I can't give up. I try to be interested in other girls, but my mind always goes back to MD. I'm sorry for such a long post, but to those who've taken the time to read it, any help would be more than apprecaited.
Sorry for your little drama (awesome), but, maybe she don't like you or maybe she know another person. If you tried talk to her for this, maybe she can explain you about your real feeling for you. If you don´t courage for asked her.. well.. it finished. I have an advise for you, 42, ask her.. you know, search a good moment and ask her.
If you want people to read what you write, please learn about paragraphs.
tl,dr
>>44
Could it be that the lack of paragraph breaks is what drove her away from him in the first place?
If that's the case, >>42, any girl that lets a few newlines every now and then get in the way of your undying love doesn't deserve you anyway! Go forth and find someone willing to toss away the rules of good grammar and readability with wild abandon for you. After all, love is illiterate!
Thanks for your response. I guess my biggest problem is that I just don't know what to say to her. I used to be able to talk to her so easily, but things are different now. I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but that's just how I feel.
Sorry about the lack of paragraphs. I didn't expect it to be that long. I'm also new this whole BBS thing so feel free to let me know if I'm doing something wrong.
Soo... what do I say? Should I just email her and take the risk of waiting? Or should I wait to catch her online? Doshio...
Sound like a "let it go" case to me.
If you can't, obviously the email route has failed.
Because she just broke up with her boyfriend, she was probably feeling vulnerable and in need of the company of a friend like you, which led to your date. I'm thinking that afterwards she realized she accidentally led you on, and is probably avoiding what she feels is inevitable: you confessing to her, and her friendship with you forever gone.
It would be nice if you got a hold of her, and asked her what's going on in her life: ask casual things, don't spring anything on her, and from this you can probably figure out how she feels.
I agree with >>48 that it'd be best to let this one go, but just talking to her and getting some closure would help.
"I guess my biggest problem is that I just don't know what to say to her"
Why?, she and you aren't friends now? .. DETAILS
I does sound like a "let it go case." I've tried to let it go.. but then I'll see her, or have a dream about her, then I'm back to feeling like I haven't moved on at all. I actually dreamt about her last night... Hence, I'm here.
Something about her just seems so different. I find myself to be a pretty carefree guy, but when it comes to her, I can't care enough. Does that makes sense? I mentioned before that the first time we went out together was to go to the movies. I don't think I could've done anything else to prepare for that day. I washed my car, made a music cd of songs we both like, cleaned my house, tried to get a tan, bought her a bamboo plant(since she seemed to be having bad luck lately), and also burned her some CDs of an anime she likes. I even made custom labels for the CDs on high quality photo paper. I really wanted it to be perfect, but maybe it was too much.... orz
Anyway, I think that if I don't do anything, I'll end up regretting it later. I'm gonna do all that I can.
I agree with you, >>49, that the casual approach is probably best. Maybe I should try to start the conversation casually, then lead it to my more serious questions.... what do you think?
I don't know what we are now. As I see it, there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to be friends. Things just started getting more akward as it took longer and longer to get a reply from her. I haven't even spoken to her since she's been back from Japan. I've seen her on campus.. our eyes will even meet.. but we quickly look the other way. I feel like i'm getting stabbed in the chest when that happends. It's a miserable feeling.
Thank you for your help everyone. Hearing your opinions really helps put things in perspective. I'll try to talk to her today. She should be on later. I'll let you all know what happends. I'll be checking the board throughout the day, so if there are any more suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them.
Hope things go well for you, whatever that needs to be.
Well It's 8:25 PM... still no sign of her.... orz
Girls are unpredictable... (I know, i'm a girl)
I'm starting to realize that...
It's now 2:20 AM and no luck as usual. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happends tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have something more interesting to report later.
ehhh go to sleep, kid x-D.. calm down and listen, you have time to talk to her tomorrow, or later.. Are you there? ... yuuuhuuu
I took your advise 56. I should've set my alarm though. I just woke up and it's almost 1! (=_=)
Stay off the internet in your dealings with her, 42. Your friendship has cooled off to the point where it'll probably be as awkward as just before she went back to japan. You're going to have to start from square 1. The next time you see her in person and your eyes meet, force yourself to smile and not look away. Say hello. If she responds positively, make some chit chat, keep it strictly casual and keep it short. If not, let it go.
>>51
Maybe doing all those things was a bit much. As a guy, and hypothetically if I were a girl, I think that doing that much is too much and might scare her or something along those lines. Maybe she noticed you went through a bunch of trouble/work to do this for her and she is intimidated or something. Don't let me discourage you though - I'm still single ^^; If you don't act you'll maybe live in regret forever. Good luck!
I see your point... but I really don't think I can do it. orz
It also kinda seems like that approach might be uncomfortable for her too. Part of me thinks that maybe she feels guilty for not responding, and because it's been so long now, it's hard to reapproach me.
I guess it can seem kinda intimidating.. I just wanted to make her happy. A long time ago she would always call me "muri shiteru," which was basically saying that I was trying to hard.
One time she asked me for help on making a poster for a presentation in her public speaking class (I'm a CG artist). Her topic was Sushi, but I couldn't find any high res images, so I got a few of my hungry friends and we headed out to a Japanese restaurant. We ordered one of each kind of sushi needed for the poster and I had a little photo shoot right there at the counter. I made the poster, printed it on my boss' large format printer, then laminated it.
I met with her later to give it to her. It seemed like she really liked it! After that, she handed me a bag of food and said that she stopped at a japanese restaurant to get me dinner! I was so happy/nervous I kinda just said thank you and took off. When I got home I looked in the bag and noticed that there were 2 pairs of chopsticks!! Maybe it was meant for both of us to eat together! I felt so stupid... I didn't even think to ask if she wanted to eat together. To make it worse, the whole container was filled with sushi (the last thing I wanted to see after eating all that sushi earlier).
Anyway... still no sign of her. Sushi sounds kinda good about now... orz
hay guys, let's move this tread over to http://4-ch-net/love
>Anyway... still no sign of her.
Maybe she's put you on some sort of block list? Waiting for her for hours online really is trying too hard, dude.
>When I got home I looked in the bag and noticed that there were 2 pairs of chopsticks!!
Mental note: always open gifts when you get them. Take heart, maybe you'll prevent someone else on this board from making the same mistake!
I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I saw her online a few days prior to my post. And I'm staying busy... I'm not just staring at my monitor mindlessly waiting. (-_-;)
And yes... learn from my mistakes! Even if it wasn't meant for the both of us to share, it would've been a nice suggestion, ne?
hum... Write an e-mail? .. Romantic E-Mail!
Notice to single males!
Don't be creepy! My roommate and I were walking to the door of our apartment one day. Suddenly, looking through the window at my roommate was this guy we know. "Oh god," she said, and after meeting his gaze we then ignored him. Then, as she was unlocking the door, I looked over her shoulder...
and he was still staring
He was looking from HIS window, not ours, btw
An email, eh? That sounds good.. buuut I think I have a better chance of getting a response talking through MSN (or at least I wont have to wait as long). Although an email would seem more considerate. What does everyone else think about that?
I don't think I'm that bad. Would it've been a different story if it was someone you liked?
Only you need its an excuse to talk to her, well, write an e-mail and tell her : Mommy, you are the best. Give me you soul and give me alone for my sweet home, baby.. Yeeeeeeeeah..
Then, she hates you and maybe look at you for kill you. This is the perfect moment!! and You can talk about us (while she strikes you).
Ohhhh, how sweet love ( ^A^)
>>67 Are you saying you do this? wow!
Actually, I never noticed his stalker-behavior until the roommate mentioned it one day. (Although he is a bit of a hikki.)
She complains all the time about him in private, but then when he tries to hang around her she doesn't dissuade him. I asked her why, and she said that because he is infatuated with her, it is easy to "use" him in situations where she needs a ride, or needs someone to dump all her stress on, without a real emotional tie ever forming.
I was shocked o_o
Watch out, single males! Girls are as evil as you are!
>>69
That doesn't surprise me at all.
the 'girls = evil' formula is well known.
" I have a better chance of getting a response talking through MSN "
Are you "MSN Otoko"? ... Well, now you are MSN Otoko.
MSN Otoko, your story wrenched at my heart. You are a very lucky man. Now, for my advice.
You are already doing this, but all I can say is that you have to casually speak to her online. After talking to her once or twice, if things seem to be going well, ask her to go to a japanese restraunt or something she enjoys - but don't over do it like you did before.
Don't ask her the first time you talk. Be sure to weave your way back to being friends, and not to rush things. And be sure to keep us updated, Densha wannabe!
<3 MSN OTOKO!
MSN Otoko? ... I don't know what to say... but I'm honored
m(_ _)m
>>75
Thank you... I really haven't felt this motivated in a long time. Now I just need a chance to talk to her! Hopefully she'll be online sometime over the weekend. And I'll keep it casual. Thank you!!
I'll keep you all posted on any developments!
>>75 you right.
MSN otoko, can you ask her to go a restaurant or something, but MSN Otoko, if you ask her for your phone number, and call her... It's better than messenger chat. It's more intimate and listen her voice.. more romantic, more close.
<3 <3 <3 <3 ((( ( *^A^) ))) <3 <3 <3 <3
This is getting blown out of proportion, I think.
>>77
But again, don't ask for her number the first time you talk.
>>79
we're just having fun, but in all honesty, it's really exciting, and I am interested in what happens.
This rant thread is getting pretty interesting...
Hey everyone. Well, no luck again last night. orz. But thank you everybody for sticking with me.
Unfortunately I don't have her number anymore.
When she left for Japan, she wasn't planning on coming back, so she got rid of her cell. Now that she's back she probably has one, but I don't have the number...
A call would be difficult for me anyway.. I think I'll have a hard enough time just holding on to enough courage to message her. I'm keeping the birthday present she got me on my desk to keep me encouraged. It's a winnie the pooh mug and a small winnie the pooh stuffed animal which is sitting inside it. I'll never forget when she gave it to me.. she said these kinds of things are what a girlfriend would usually give to her boyfriend. I honestly don't think she was implying anything by it, but I always enjoyed the thought (^_^;)
Well, I'm off to a class. I'll be back later!
i wish something would happen here...
You can't wait for her online forever. Since you don't have her phone number, you should really consider saying hello in person.
SHES ON!!!! ANYONE HERE??
..... and she's gone......................
I can't believe it.. I ate dinner, then checked and she was on! so I came back here to post, went back and it was too late........
orz x 100...................
Well next time maybe talk to her before you post here!! Good luck.....
good work dude
don't let the sarcastic tone of the last two bother you, it's okay.
There's always next time. She seems to come and go fast, so make a quick move. Also, I agree with >>159. I had fallen asleep and just woke up, but I think I'm going to go to bed again. Good luck, MSN. I'll be behind you.
SEND E-MAIL.
Please?
>>178
He don't send an e-mail to her because, she don't answer him.. of course 178 you idea is good, and i think MSN write one to WINNIE.. but.. he is so timid... :-/
That's why we like him
"Winnie"... so, that's what we're calling her now?
Yes, man! The longer the silence lasts, the more awkward it gets.
So here's a scenario: Maybe she feels kinda like you do. Maybe she logs on for a short period to try and contact you, or see if you contact her. If two people look at each other, and then look away, they probably feel the same about each other.
I don't know. Just make yourself push three buttons on your keyboard the next time you see her on MSN next time. H, I, and Enter.
H + I + enter !!!!
H + I + enter !!!!
_ ∩
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)彡 H + I + enter !!!!
⊂彡
∧∧
( ﾟДﾟ)
（| |）
. ～| |
∪∪
∧ ∧
(,,ﾟДﾟ)
| つつ H
～| |
∪∪
∧∧
(,,ﾟДﾟ)
/つつ I
~て つ
(/
.∧∧
(,,ﾟДﾟ)
⊂ つ ENTER
| ０
し´
H━━━━━━━━━━━━(･∀･)━━━━━━━━━━━━!!
I━━━━━━━━━━━━(´∀｀)━━━━━━━━━━━━!!
ENTER━━━━━━━━━━━━(´･ω･`)━━━━━━━━━━━━!!
♪ ☆
♪ ／ ＼ H + I
ヽ(´Д｀;)ﾉ H + I
( へ) H + I +
く ENTER!
人
（＿）
（＿＿）
（ ・∀・)つ H♪
（( （⊃ (⌒) ))
(__ﾉ
人
（＿）
（＿＿） I♪
（・∀・ )__
（( ⊂⊂ _)
(__ﾉ￣ 彡
人
（＿）
（＿＿）
（・∀・ ∩ )） ENTER!♪
（( （⊃ 丿
(__)し'
--------------------------------------- _____
| H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H | ^ ^ | H |
| | (°д°) < + |
| + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + | ⊂ ⊂| | I |
| | ⋂ \ | +|
| I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I | ⋃ ⋃ | E |
| | |\\ | N |
| + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + | | T |
| | | E |
| E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E | | R |
| N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N | -----
| T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T |
| E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E |
| R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R |
| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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||人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人
MSN.. ganbatte
Thanks for your support everyone m(_ _)m
This time I'm prepared.. I know what I'm going to say.. so as soon as I see her on, I'll say it... + enter
yeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
GANBARE~~~!! DENSH...er...MSN!!!
MSN Otoko, tell me.. how does her look like? is she beautiful? ... tell us.. please, details
She's really beautiful... unbelievably beautiful. She's about average height, her hair goes slighty past her shoulders, she's very slender.... to me she's perfect. Words alone don't give her justice.
Just thinking about her makes me smile （´∀｀）
Hey everyone.... I'm sorry to hear about the dispute... but I got some good news!!
I finally talked to her!!!!
...
!!!
what happened!? Tell us!
gah i can't take this suspense, msn. why didn't you give a detailed post! I was about to go to sleep, too! Come on!
What happened?
Good news?
That means something good happened! I can sleep peacefully.
I don't know any emoticons that can express my happiness!
It wasn't easy though... I got home today around 2ish, sat down at my computer, opened MSN, and there she was! It must've been about five minutes after that before I could do anything... Finally, I double clicked on her name and started typing. Using only my index fingers, I carefully typed out the message. Then came the hardest part... pressing enter. I was so nervous... my hands were ice cold.. I felt sick.. so I came to this thread and started reading through everyones posts. Doing that gave a quick rush of courage, so I went back to the MSN window and hit ENTER!
She responded right away! My heart was beating like crazy!
The conversation was overall casual... although it would always take me several minutes to reply. She explained to me that she wanted to transfer to another college in the U.S. after spending about a year back in Japan, but she found out that she couldn't return with her student visa if she was out of the country for more than 5 months. So, that's why she came back! We talked about a few other things, then I suggested that we get together sometime to catch up on things. She said sure, gave me her phone number, and said to just call her or email her!
I'd say the coversation was pretty normal... but that alone was a huge step for me! Thank you so much everybody! I REALLY couldn't have done it without you all!! m(_ _)m
Now I just have to think of something we can do together... today was a big step... but it's really just the begining
ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
yes, yes, yes, yes!
what to do, what to do...
What are her interests? While hanging out with you, your ex-girlfriend, and winnie, where did you go? What does she like? Is another movie not good? There's nothing good playing in the U.S. anyway. What about a restraunt? maybe just a walk in a nature area? What kind of things would be good??? I've never been on a real date before, so I wouldn't know such things... I am so excited...
I'll be back tomorrow morning! MSN, you've done it!
Congratulations!
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE!!!! ORZ!
This is too much..
MSN, if she give you your cell phone , your email.. of course, THE SECOND MOVE BEGINING. The first was "h+i+enter"...
Second Move: email her (a few days), some casual email. You know: Hi Winnie, blablablalbla... and.. well.. i was thinking call you , but i don't know what time is good for call. I don't have bother you... and blablablablabla... Ok, good.. i call 'this day', or someone else... be casual.
Third Move: Call her.. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Of, course you directly pass to the third.
Let talk to her in MSN. Do you have a web cam? (hehehehehe)
Ganbatte!
YE━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━SS !!!!!
MSN worried too much, and then he BROKE THE WALL OF SILENCE WITH A SWIFT TAP ON A BUTTON!
Hooray*!!*
Hooray !!
... i mean.
Yeah MSN! You must be feeling so good right now! HAPPY HAPPY!
ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!!
You've definitely leveled up!
>I suggested that we get together sometime to catch up on things. She said sure, gave me her phone number, and said to just call her or email her!
>Now I just have to think of something we can do together
Don't get cocky yet. If you overthink this or overprepare for it, you'll end up all nervous like in the movie thing again. Just pick someplace quiet where you can talk with her. Refrain from bringing her any gifts. If you must, then just one small one. You want to avoid overwhelming her all of a sudden.
OMFG! HE DID IT! HE DID ITdkfjgdljbg;felgk'fjgp;!!! BENOIST!!! YOU GO MSN!
In apology for >>235, I will now post something that doesn't sound stupid.
MSN, congratulations on talking to Winnie. It went better than I expected. You got her e-mail and phone number all in one go. In that aspect, you have surpassed me on every level. Good job.
However, don't get too cocky just because she gave you the tools. A well-armed general often finds himself overwhelmed unless he has a strategy to back up those arms. I agree with >>233 and >>228 on the strategy. And with that, I say good luck and Benoist.
Great job MSN Otoko. Good thing the MSN solution worked. It sure looked dark back there. Please keep us posted on further happenings.
Yes, MSN, what the posters above me have said is true. Do not rush things because step #1 was such a success. However... the fact that she ggave you contact information... remember that this means she is interested in talking to you again - especially since you have two options of talking to her! GO, MSN OTOKO! BENOIST!!!!!