Which do you prefer? (28)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 02:35 ID:ZfEf3GCK

I am a shy, quiet type of girl...not awkward or ugly, but a bit meek. My friend is loud and almost obnoxious and gets all of the attention. Men flock to her, and she is not even that pretty! Do men really prefer that type of girl? Must I quit being feminine and start acting like "one of the guys" to find a man?

So, which do you prefer? A demure girl or a tomboyish girl?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 03:03 ID:s0VDBU53

My girlfriend is a small and normally quiet kind of girl. She'll smile at someone faster than she'll say "HEY YO HOW'S IT GOING?!?!" I like that a lot. Of course, she's less shy around me now, but I still see her as that type of girl. I find it quite cute!

That's the thing though. A lot of men just want some physically attractive woman to have their way at, with no consideration for personality or habits.

But in my case, the classic cute shy girl thing is best!

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 04:45 ID:2awUxTpJ

It depends how well I know you. But I usually go for the quiet girls because I'm a laid back guy and I don't a girl who is going to get me in trouble. Plus your friend is probably a flirt and I don't want to compete.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 07:56 ID:Heaven

>Men flock to her, and she is not even that pretty!

Maybe she is, to men.

But I personally prefer quiet girls, since I'm pretty quiet myself. Of course, then there's the problem of us never knowing that we like each other.

Also, I bet most people here will say the shy/quiet kind of girl. Go ask on myspace and you'll probably get a different answer. :p

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 10:52 ID:iVxFcMm7

They used to say that you should choose a partner who's the opposite of your temperament. From my experiences I must say they're right. If you are an introvert personality, then you should choose a partner who's extrovert.

I'm a quiet type of guy myself and I had a shy and quiet girlfriend. We were hanging out and stuff but never knew what the other wanted. Two quiet personalities doesn't go along well. Neither party can speak out and it ruins the relationship.
Communication is very important in a relationship.
I never could discuss intimate things with my gf, as both of us were shy and this evetually led to a breakup.

But in fact I like quiet girls, because they don't go with the flow of today's so popular "culture". Deep in my heart, I would prefer a shy girl, like my ex girlfriend.
And of course... I don't think that a loud, extrovert girl would be interested in me.
So it's pretty hard. Maybe that's why I don't have a girfriend for 3 years now...

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 12:50 ID:Heaven

I guess I am a quiet girl and I get told that I'm cute alot. But most of my guy friends tend to see me more as a little sister rather than a potential girlfriend. So OP, I know where you're coming from, I have an extremely airheaded, ditzy, loud but gorgeous best friend and all the guys have fallen for her at some point.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 15:57 ID:vCFtYLyz

I feel that even though extrovert-introvert relationships probably work out better than extrovert-extrovert or introvert-introvert relationships, people are attracted to similar personality types. If you think about it, a guy that's extroverted and goes partying all the time would look at a girl that doesn't say too much and think that they wouldn't have that much in common.

It could also be that lack of communication between you and the guys that you're interested in makes them think that you're not interested in them. It could also be your body language too.


You need communication. Introverted vs. Extroverted doesn't necessarily mean that you can't find a quiet girl. It just means that you need to communicate better with her. Letting issues slide is the death of a relationship, unless you both have really and truly moved past them. Also it's probably hard for two quiet people to meet because they are both quiet. If you don't talk to a girl, and she is quiet... she probably isn't going to talk to you. It's that your personalities are preventing you from meeting.

If you go and talk to some girls it doesn't all of the sudden mean that you are 'conforming to today's popular culture.' Introverted doesn't mean 'no friends.'

(sorry for that aside to >>5, don't want to de-rail the thread)

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-04 17:01 ID:hIBD5g7F


Thank you, someone with taste Cough*brains*Cough. I'm the same way, I hate the obnoxious type. Timid is the best. Yep.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 02:24 ID:lBbX/u0+

hey , my closest friend in highschool was this very loud and popular guy, he had the looks, girls all over him, and actualyl, he was a really great person ( other wise, i wouldn't be his friend, duh ) , and you had me on the other hand, who nobody knew his name, but he would hand around the the guy most of the time.

you knew what? he got me the opputrtunity to finally meet some people through him, so it was great.

but as wherther i like outgoing girls, or girls who are less outgoing, i'll go with the one who is nicer! but the outgoing one will definetly have more chances to itract to people, so she has more people drawn to her!

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 02:28 ID:/1aWsY1T

I wish I had a girl like you. Personally I hate loud girls they just want to make up for the fact that they do not have any natural beauty so that's the only way they could attract men. (most of the time) ....Just be yourself...... ^__^

11 Name: !tsGpSwX8mo : 2006-10-05 04:37 ID:ZfEf3GCK

Thank you for the replies!

I think that part of the problem is that people assume that quiet people are empty or we are mistaken for being snobby. It seems men mistake me for being empty more often than rude. I am not boring or dull, I would just rather listen.

Just today I was with the friend I mentioned and her boyfriend came home from work and was ill. She got so angry at him because he was a bit grumpy, she did nothing to soothe him...she only nagged him. Yet, so many guys want to be with this type of girl? I will never understand it.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 05:10 ID:aUfNMzR2

>I think that part of the problem is that people assume that quiet people are empty or we are mistaken for being snobby. It seems men mistake me for being empty more often than rude.

Yesh, I was going to say the same thing. Personally, people seem to think the same of me, and I'm male. :p

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 05:47 ID:c4bWKm4z

I can be a 'loud' girl, and this post seems to be slagging us off somewhat. its fine if you prefere quiet girls, but i am not loud to attract men. I am funny, bubbly, outgoing, confident and you guys just call me LOUD. i dont think thats right. also there are varying degrees of loudness and quietness and the individual will act differently in different circumstances. just try GETTING TO KNOW the person for heavens sake!!! for people who view the world as judging you you appear to be very judgmental of MY type. do you think thats fair?

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 10:32 ID:XjXZBgaZ

Same for me. Girls only seem to see my face and turn me down immediately. They don't want to get to know me.
I'm quiet and timid, maybe I'm not too good-looking, but I have a heart and I could give so much. But my treasures are inside and it looks like nobody's interested in them...
Why's that?

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 15:32 ID:aUfNMzR2

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease."

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 15:38 ID:Heaven

Don't worry loud girl, we aren't against you. We're just for ourselves. :p

Seriously! I defended your kind on >>4.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-05 19:50 ID:swmIhU7C

The question is if you leave an impression that it's possible to get anywhere with you. I'm not especially for obnoxiously loud girls although I've met some nice ones.

It's more like, okay, so you're shy. Is it because you're not experienced, don't know what to say or do? No problem. Is it because you shun guys and any relationship and talking to you is hopeless?

You can be interpreted as shy in a good way, or in a bad way.
I'd definitely prefer someone feminine over some 'lol here's my asscrack', habourworker's-language, hay-guyz-i-got-hairs-on-my-chest-and-play-jackass-in-the-weekends girl though..

18 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-10-06 02:54 ID:0eBBsdDV

Wish girls like you would just come out of the shadows so we could all actually meet girl's we can relate to

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-06 06:04 ID:Heaven


That is reality for you and all of us who aren't good looking. The majority of girls/women go for people who looks decent to them. It doesn't matter how good you are or your heart is pure gold, what really matters is your appearance.

I have so much experience with this that girls and women look for appearance, then if it looks decent to them, then they'll decide whether to give you a chance and want to know you more, otherwise if you don't decent to them, they don't care, they'll just brush you off.

Same can said for guys, but generally guys got it bad than girls. Girls/women can get men easier nowaways, any women can get men, but not so for men though, it just works better for women. Even not looking women can get men, not so easy the other way around, the reason is that guys need to look at least decent, reliable, confidence, got some money, reputation, social wellbeing, good health, etc. Women, even if they are whore, low beings with no self-esteem can get men to fall for them, but not men with those qualities.

the bottom line is women wins the relationship department, they get the advantage.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-06 17:59 ID:U8/Iw9Nb

Yeah but you can somewhat balance the bad looks with stylish clothing and such.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-06 19:43 ID:cLIfhaMH

what to say?

>>19 is kinda wrong, 'cause I've not been pretty over the years, but I've been with many girls in those years. Why? My girls think I'm a nice guy, that's why. At least here, girls find boys attractive, not for their appearance(at least not that much), but for their hearts too. Doesn't matter you be the gorgeous best looking man... and an asshole. You'll get lots of girls, sure, but will end up being alone, or changing your ways, trying to be more nice, less asshole.
Ok, so, the appearance is nothing? No way! At least I wouldn't be happy with a girl that walks in the streets like a troll. She just need to be a nice girl who doesn't have one eye bigger than the other =) That's for the girls too =)

And if guys doesn't talk to you, that's because their afraid of knowing what you think. I'd be scared if someone stares at me and don't even came to know my name. Loud girls get lots of guys 'cause they don't are afraid to getting closer to them. And sometimes is the girl who goes after the guy. If someone hasn't fell for you, that's because no one that could noticed that you're there. In fact, that's why I prefer something like a mist between Loud and Quiet girls: get to know lots of people, are kinda extrovert and still we think that they're cute and nice =)

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-09 10:53 ID:Heaven

>> At least here, girls find boys attractive, not for their appearance(at least not that much), but for their hearts too.

Where do you live, pal? I'm gonna move there!

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-16 06:58 ID:Xdp/LhwK

>>22 Yeah, I wanna know too!!

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-16 08:20 ID:N2ukvcgy


Yea. Girls want the guy with the heart of gold, but they only give a chance to guys with good looks/good style/wealth/etc (depends on the girl).

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-16 08:43 ID:hIKblFJQ

Serious question:

Where do quiet girls of this sort hang out? On random encounters in places like bookstores and cafes, I never seem to run into this kind of girl.

Some information from the inside, as it were, would be useful. :-)

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-16 08:45 ID:hIKblFJQ

Shit, I just said "random encounter" in relation to this... that's pretty sad.

Read my question again but if you could, remove the RPG references from it. Thanks.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-16 09:16 ID:Heaven


28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-21 02:17 ID:Heaven


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