>>You're either awfully naive or awfully ignorant.........
Oh ffs!
Real experiences have a much bigger impact because they relate to us in a different way than imagination and theory.
One of the things I've stated, either in this thread or anotherone, is exactly that; preconcieved ideas about both relationships and sex affects how we enter and entertain these things even before our first experience.
But still, being affected by theory it's not the same thing as having been impaired by past experiences. It's not the same thing to look at something unfelt and think about how you want to act in accordance to this, as being moved into acting a sertain way as by instinct, because it has crawled into your spine thanks to something experienced.
>>It's one thing to wear a poker-face during a game, it's something completely different to flawlessly almost constantly act as if a certain thing or a thousand doesn't exist, during your daily life.........
Well if you're so attentive then you should know what I'm talking about. Besides, I never claimed peoples faqades are flawless, I claimed that what they put on display make them percievable as a functional human being. We all have apparant flaws, we all get our bouts of depression, we have ups and downs. A cronically depressed person have ups and downs, a suicidal person have good days with sunny side up, sexual abuse-victims may love sex and mass-murderers can be adorable persons. A relationship that is hitting rock bottom can have great days when mom and dad are happy and the whole family go visit a zoo or something, but then the next day they have a horrible fight which becomes the final straw. It's not the ups and downs that is the state of our lifes, it's the summary of it all that is, and it's the summary that will eventually take one of those peaks of misery and turn it into an excuse to end things.
You don't see a persons summary of things, you see the ups and downs, thats the things you notice and talk about, and when you've talked out about one of these issues the comforting pal will feel like she has solved her friends problems, but the friend will be heavy at heart behind that smiling face, knowing they have only touched the tip of the iceberg. It's still there, and one day it will end things.
So I won't draw everyone over the same line, there are people who turn out ok, but as for most, they keep getting worn down, and shit ends. You sit there and praise your friends and their relationships. I'm telling you for sure, they will crumble one by one, they will cheat, lie, turn into perverts, they will fight, drink their brains out, do drugs, beat their children and beat eachother. Even if they somehow stick together it will be like they are enemies, and they will have their shit each in their own corner, and their kids will grow up ruined.
Not all, but I say almost everyone.