I’m 28 now but when I was 9 my older brother started touching me while I was sleeping, masturbated me and rub his penis in my ass.
I suddenly changed personality, from an extroverted kid to a very introverted one, always in my room, no friends, almost all my puberty depressed, I tried to never mention his name again, just call him "the other one" (I have another brother) and trying to keep always an eye on my little sister, worry about he will try the same with her.
I don’t know if it was not obvious for my parents the change in personality and my strong reluctance to be in the same place with him, now I know these and other behaviors I had then, are clearly a sign of child sexual abuse, but my parents are catholic (we live in South America) and they had an excellent relation with their families, so, they would never thought in something like this.
My dad change, for him been a good brother is very important and he never understood why I start hating my older brother. Why always when he talked something about him, I did faces, and why I transformed in a crybaby loner.
My mom for the other side interpreted this as a behavior- adolescence issue and start overprotecting me even more. Cause I didn’t have a social life and was very quit she always put me like an example of discipline, academically and at home, and we - my mom and I- formed a strong relationship that all the others- included my dad and sister- feel alienated from it.
So, this maked even greater the distance between my father and me. For him, I just was a bitter and loner guy that hated my siblings and didn’t have friends.
When I start university I meet many people very similar to me and I try to take command of my life and not be sad anymore. I made friends for the first time, and had a pretty busy social and cultural life in the visual arts faculty.
But also I started my sexual life, and I actually had from the beginning some quite unhealthy patterns: anonymous sex in public places, sex with guys I just met in gay bars, sex in gay saunas, and never getting out of the closed. So I never had an emotional evolved relationship with a partner and I was playing with my life having unsafe sex on this AIDS age. I’m negative but I aware that my unhealthy sexuality had a big deal to do with the sexual abuse I had.
I’m even today very immature emotionally, I still live with my parents - I lived in an apartment alone like 6 months and even lived and worked in Asia for 9 months, but I always return here with them, and I had many periods of half-hikikomori behavior.
Well, finally the reason for this posting: I want to be happy, move on from this issue. Be a grown up, be responsible of my wellbeing, and I think the only way to do this is putting an end to the sexual abuse case, don’t seeing this guy (abuser) again, don’t hear his name again, just delete him of my mind.
I don’t want to see my brother again, to smile to him and his wife, to play like everything is ok or nothing really happens. And to do this I have to cut completely with my family, because or I tell what happened and this is going to be to much (I’m worry mainly of my mom, she lost the "sense of reality" and she was in Prozac for 2 years, after my sister told us she is lesbian, so imagine what could happens to her if she knows that one of his sons molested another one), or I just go away and never see them again.
This guy (my older brother, the abuser) is married with an American, he has the residence there, and this could ruin his life. BUT I really need to leave this behind and try to have a good and productive life myself, try to have a healthy and mature relation with a guy.
So my idea is to accept a job my former employer in Asia is offering me again, and talk with my dad and tell him that I don’t care if he don’t believe me, if he thinks is my fault, and I’m going to tell him everything that happened, and say that this is the reason why I’m cutting the ties with the family, I just want to move on, and try to have a life. I will say to him to don’t say nothing to my mom, cause this will be way TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for her, (they are 60 now), I just will visit her and write to her, but I’m saying this to him because I want him to stop pressuring me to have a good relation with this garbage (my "brother").
Have somebody going to a similar situation?, please advise me.
both post above- 1 & 2- are part of the same issue, please read them as part1 and part2 respectively.
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It's time to move on, forget your past and start a new life.
Also, date girls instead, just because your brother did those things to you doesn't mean you have to be gay.
im being a bad person telling the true about my older brother?, I mean he is really a fake, and he has mantain this nice guy image all these years
Am I being a bad person for telling my dad the true about my older brother? I mean he has been a complete fake all these years, playing the nice guy part, and I'm reallt worry if he have children anytime in the future, is posible he will not control himself.
mods please delete 6 & 7
and p. 10cs
and 9 and 12. sorry and thanks again.
You need to forget about your past and stop being gay.
javascript:insert('>>14',1178136011)
im not gay because the abuse, i was promiscuos because that, and i had a low self steem thinking that older guys just wanted to fuck me.
im not gay because the abuse. i was promiscuos, cocaine addicted, alcoholic because that, but i really want to have a healthy relation with a man.
your brother is a piece of shit, I feel bad for his children.
oh , and do fuck up your family, i would do that, then dump that whole shit, and finally get on with your life. revenge us bad , but it serves you so well, i can't describe it.
what perfect family, what perfect bullshit? let them know the fucking lie they live in.
thanks for your opinions
You get your brother to come to your house, then get him to have sex with you and film it, you can then show your whole family what a bastard he is.
the problem is that he is totally disgusting, u can tell the type of person he is just looking at him, i mean he is married now but his wife is a 250 pounds girl, he was just her last chance to marry
I loved to fuck you and I would love it if you come over to me and we have a nice brotherly fuck. We are both gay, we are family, nobody needs to know. Let's exchanhe our manly fluid.
You're 28 now, but you were 9.
...how old was your brother then?