ITT you have worn armor, a rusty dagger, and amnesia (457)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5254 23:16

Wake up, sleepy head!

...

101 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5265 16:29

Use VIM on DEVICE DRIVER

102 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5265 16:52

102.30 GET

103 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 16:47

DEVICE DRIVER launches ILLEGAL OPERATION attack

104 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 17:39

> Defend with backup disk

105 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 18:23

Backup disk fails with CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK

106 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 18:26

Fuck it, use MAP to locate the APPLE STORE

107 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 18:32

The entrance of the APPLE STORE is guarded by A RETARDED LOOKING SNAKE.

Would you like to
[] Read SICP
[] Invoke LAMBDA KNIGHTS
[] Run

108 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5266 18:43

Read SCIP

109 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 01:09

>>plugh

110 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 01:39

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

111 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 02:44

You feel smug.

112 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 04:49

>>111 FUCK YOU

113 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 05:01

While I would very much like that, I am only a computer program so I fear that would be quite impossible.

What would you like to do now? >

114 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 05:06

> Write an open-source Linux device driver in ARC

115 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5267 12:09

Are you sure you don't just want to hear yourself saying 'open-source Linux'?

116 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5268 16:00

Suggestion timed out. Validating user command.

You obtain a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER.
You have gained experience in your ARC Programming skill.

Note : A save is NG here. As a quality of an item is poor (23%), insurance role is suggested in case of a bad luck and is (ŠΎ.

Take insurance roll before using item ? Y/N

>

117 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5268 19:14

> Yes

118 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5268 19:53

You have a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER with insurance rolls at (ŠΎ.*

*exclusions apply:

  • self-inflicted wounds
  • driving devices under the influence of drugs or alcohol
  • inability to read 4-letter words correctly
  • application previously terminated for any reason
  • history of amnesia
  • oxidised weapons
  • inadequate protective clothing

119 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5268 21:40

> make backup disk

120 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5269 05:02

You start making the BACKUP DISK.

121 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5269 05:05

I thrust my rusty dagger into the BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER to find some squids to grind on.

122 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5269 05:38

Your rusty dagger is deflected by the hard disks sturdy outer casing and breaks into two pieces.
Some eight-armed, two tentacles, deep-sea invertebrates arrive and invite you to join them in sexually suggestive club dance.

123 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5269 14:31

bounce stark nekkid on the tentacles singing IT'S SHOW TIME! from Tokyo Mew Mew OP

124 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5269 19:23

>>115
(☞߁Νί)☞ Nvidia's shitty drivers.

125 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5270 11:55

You are stark naked, unarmed and getting gangbanged by luscious squids.

Maybe you could forge back your rusty dagger from the two broken pieces, but you do not have proper fixing material and since your gay mana pool is depleted, you cannot cast "Source Forge" either.

You feel uneasy and slimy from all the rape. It looks like those fuckers won't reward you for your hard work anyway.

//i@EΝEjA correct translation is in progress. I need your help and it is SUNX.
An anal is in pain and the poison status has carried out. Life is diminished and [-- it continues] to [-- in] a remedy.

It enters.

>

126 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 04:53

Carry out the w

127 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 05:01

Your anus is hurting.

heal anus

You do not have that ability.

touch anus

It feels slimy and worn out.

kill Carry out the w

There is no Carry

hmm

"hmm" is not a valid command, for help type 'help command' or 'help'.

carryoutrevenge squidgang

you begin plotting a long-term plan to destroy the squid gang and restore your pride.

restore analvirginity

What has been done cannot be undone...

128 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 05:11

> commit suicide

129 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 16:58

You cannot commit suicide more than once a day, wait a few hours then try again.

>

130 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 21:49

> urinate on pagan idol

131 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5272 21:49

> commit suicide

132 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5273 05:54

Stop 0x0000001e (c000009a 80123f36 02000000 00000246)
Unhandled Kernel exception c000009a from 8123f26
Address 80123f36 has base at 80100000 - dqn1200784603.exe

133 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5273 06:10

> reboot; install FreeDos

134 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5274 21:51

Non-System Disk or Disk Error

135 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5274 22:28

> eat backup disk

136 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5274 22:47

You have eaten the backup disk and gain 12 experience points.

Congratulations, you are now level 1. Would you like to:

[] Respawn
[] Install BSD
[] Abort

137 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5274 22:49

> Abort

138 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5274 23:03

Exception Type: EXC_BAD_ACCESS (SIGSEGV)
Exception Codes: KERN_INVALID_ADDRESS at 0x00000000c00794af
Crashed Thread: 5

139 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 06:32

>Submit to Apple

140 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 17:12

Sorry, a system error occurred.

[] Restart

141 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 18:00

> Fail

142 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 20:20

Software Failure. Press left mouse button to continue.
@ @ @ @ Guru Meditation #GB24CHAN

143 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 22:58

> Press LMB

144 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 23:00

An AWESOME GLENZ FILLED WOBBLY POLYGON FULLSCREEN XYZ ROTATING MITTEN WITH UNREADABLE SCROLLERS AND RAD COPPER EFFECTS appears !

[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !

145 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 23:13

> eat polygon

146 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5275 23:44

FUCKS: 3
ASSENTS: 3
ITS: 5979
BANGS: 3

Do you want to buy more fucks? [Y/N]

147 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 13:08

> cast TANASINN ζleζˆvζˆζˆζ4ˆζˆζˆζ

148 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 14:44

TANASINN APPEARS

[] ˆ
[ζˆ] ζˆζˆ
ˆζˆζˆζˆζˆζˆζ

ζˆζˆζˆζ[Yˆζ

149 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 15:31

> N

150 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 16:39

You've selected 'N', indicating you do not wish to warp to the final level with invincibility and quad damage. Also, you were eaten by a grue.

Would you like to play again?

[ Y / N ]

151 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 16:43

> go East

152 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 19:21

INVALID RESPONSE.

PLEASE LIMIT RESPONSES TO THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS:

[ Y / N ]

153 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5276 22:28

/

154 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 08:01

HAMSTER

155 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 11:22

]

156 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 13:54

run iexplore.exe

157 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 15:57

> crash

158 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 17:24

You can't get ye flask.

159 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5277 18:42

invalid command or filename

160 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5278 12:47

DEBUG

161 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5278 18:37

> ?

162 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5278 18:43

You have died. Would you like to play again?

m‚x^‚mn

163 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5278 19:24

N

WAIT! Y! I MEANT Y!

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 06:42

Make love to Continue.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 12:26

Try to remember which game I'm playing, again.

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 18:24

get troll

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 22:19

kill jester

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 01:09

>>164 Continue rebuffs your clumsy advances.

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 04:01

Sulk

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7504 22:43

age thread

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7505 05:05

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.

172 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7665 23:16

No it hasn't.

173 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7665 23:25

enlarge penis

174 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7668 22:21

= Game Rebooted =

You are in a small, dank cell. You are lying on a mat made of straw. Aside from the mat, the only furnishings you see are a chamber pot and a bowl of cold gruel. You have no recollection of this place.

Inventory:
You have worn armor, a rusty dagger, and amnesia.

175 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7668 23:04

Use rusty dagger on bowl of gruel.

176 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7668 23:07

>>175
You valiantly stab the evil bowl of gruel. Your dagger breaks off in the thick glop.

You are now carrying a broken dagger. There is a bowl of rusty gruel here. You can almost feel your opponent taunting you.

177 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7668 23:45

Stare at ceiling.

178 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7668 23:47

look for a secret door

179 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 00:34

>>177
You stare at the ceiling for a while. A spider crawls across and begins to descent on its thread, moving towards your eyeball.

>>178
Deciding that you would rather not have a spider in your eye, you busy yourself poking around the walls of the cell. If only it were that easy! There is no sign of any passage in the wall, aside from the obvious barred door. There are some tally marks scratched in one wall, though, counting out 13.

180 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 12:01

Stare at ceiling for about ten hours.

181 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 12:18

>>180
The spider seems to have gone somewhere else now, and none of its bretheren make themselves apparent. After a couple hours, your vigil is interrupted by the arrival of a humanoid figure in torchlight. As it approaches the barred door, you may see that it looks a lot like Pennywise from the movie rendition of It, except that having amnesia, you can't remember that movie.

"Huehuehue, are we ready to play, kiddies?" cackles the clown in a high pitched voice, pulling a key ring out of his pantaloon pocket.

182 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 12:39

Lecture clown on dialectical materialism.

183 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 16:40

Eat amnesia.

184 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 16:48

>>182
"'Matter disappears' means that the limit within which we have hitherto known matter disappears, and that our knowledge is penetrating deeper; properties of matter are disappearing that formerly seemed absolute, immutable, and primary, and which are now revealed to be relative and characteristic only of certain states of matter." You say to the clown, affecting your most pompous tone of voice, "For the sole 'property' of matter, with whose recognition philosophical materialism is bound up, is the property of being an objective reality, of existing outside of the mind."

The clown looks baffled, but proceeds to unlock the barred door anyway, chuckling, "Well, we're all mad here."

>>183
You lift the disc containing your copy of Amnesia: The Dark Descent to your mouth and bite firmly. The disc is now scratched and probably suffered data loss, but the plastic is more durable than your jaws can handle and you find yourself unable to grind it up into bits small enough to be swallowed.

185 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 19:55

Suddenly remember that you are a dog. Eat the clown.

186 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 20:06

>>185
Yes! It all comes back to you now; regardless of your earlier philosophizing you are now certain that you are a being of the canine persuasion. In a fit of primal, coulrophobic rage, you snarl and plant yourself on all fours before lunging at the clown, your snapping jaws aimed for his testicular region.

With a high-pitched hoot of surprise, the clown falls back, the cell door swinging wide open. As you intended snack flees down the corridor, you pursue, galloping after him on all fours.

You drop broken dagger and Amnesia.

You are in a dungeon corridor. Cells line the walls. One of them behind you lies open. In the other direction, a flight of stairs leads upwards.

You see: lit torches, scary clown (moving rapidly towards stairs)

187 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 23:07

Apologise to clown.

188 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7669 23:58

And then eat the clown.

189 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7670 01:06

>>187
You pause and bark, making puppy dog eyes and waggling your posterior in your best canine apology. Quite rudely, the clown ignores your efforts at reconciliation and darts up the stairs.

>>188
The undoubtedly delicious clown is no longer here.

You are in a dungeon corridor. A pair of brown furry feet appears on the stairs where the clown's oversized shoes just disappeared. A man in a bear suit is approaching.

190 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 09:30

Eat the bear man.

191 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 10:00

Kiss your little sister (in bear suit)

192 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 14:46

>>190
Still frustrated by the clown's escape, you catch the man by surprise, cram him down your ravenous maw and swallow him whole.

You have eaten man in a bear suit.

>>191
You don't see a little sister here, in a bear suit or otherwise.

Something you have eaten disagrees with your stomach.

193 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 16:35

Undergo conflict resolution with stomach.

194 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 16:47

Prove Jacobian conjecture.

195 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7677 18:10

Merge sentience with contents of stomach

196 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7678 00:06

>>193
You huddle down and attempt to talk it through with your stomach. It remains obstinate in its position.

>>194
Operating with the mind of a dog, you find that you can just barely attempt basic arithmetic, amusing yourself by thumping a few counts on the wall with a forepaw.

>>195
You implode the contents of your stomach in a horrific Kirby-like manner, stealing the essence of the manbearthing trapped inside.

Your intelligence has risen by one point. You're still not very good at math(s) but better than before.
Your strength has risen by two points.
Your charisma has decreased by one point.
You are now afflicted with an urge to dress as a bear for unsavory purposes.
Your stomach is no longer upset.

197 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7678 06:00

Find a cucumber.

198 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7678 13:24

Go up stairs.

199 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7678 19:02

Chase tail to farm XP

200 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7678 19:43

>>197
You search the dungeon corridor. You find lots of dust and a delicious-looking bone, but no cucumber.

>>198
Despite the temptation of the bone, you crawl upstairs to continue your search for phallic green goodness.

You are in a play room. Various oversized, boldly colored toys are scattered about in a half-neatened state.

You see: ball pit full of balls, rocking horse, toy chest, stuffed bear
But no cucumber.

>>199
You aren't sure what farming XP is, but you decide that such festive surroundings mean play time, and run in circles for a while, barking and growling. You fail to slay your posterior, or anything else for that matter, but you do feel dizzy.

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