On second thought, go back for some bone
>>201
Play time is over for the moment, you think, so you pad back down the stairs a little unsteadily to get that glorious bone. Chomping it between your teeth, you sit up with it in your mouth, looking quite proud of yourself. It's a decidedly bone-shaped bone, perhaps a humerus, though you don't see much funny about it.
You are now carrying bone.
You are in a dungeon corridor. Cells line the walls. One of them behind you lies open. In the other direction, a flight of stairs leads upwards.
You see: lit torches, dust
Contemplate possible literary symbolism of dust.
Make bone mask from bone
>>203
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Waking with a dagger
whose blade is rust
...
Wait, where were you again? You suppose that the dust might have something to do with uncleanliness, disuse, ancientness or death.
>>204
You carefully balance the bone on your nose. It kind of blocks your vision and if you move much it will fall off, but you are very proud of your mask. If only it were a bear mask, though, you find yourself thinking...
Eat dagger. Eat armor. Eat own legs.
>>206
Dagger: You don't see it here. Last you recall, it (or what was left of it) was dropped in the open cell.
Armor: You gnaw at the armor a bit, to little effect. It would probably help if you removed it first and/or had harder teeth.
Own legs: You swallow your own legs in ouroboros-like fashion. You find that once you begin, you just can't stop, and soon you have swallowed yourself, vanishing with a pop.
You drop bone.
You unbind from man in a bear suit.
Your intelligence has decreased 1 point.
Your strength has decreased 2 points.
Your charisma has increased 1 point.
You are floating in a black void, the backdrop bedecked with stars and colorful nebulae. For some reason, you are able to survive here despite the apparent setting.
You see: cratered planet (floating at a distance), man in a bear suit (floating nearby to you)
Create a world full of men in bear suits.
>>208
You wave your limbs in expansive gestures, concentrating on the thought "Let there be men in bear suits." Nothing particularly magical happens, and the cratered planet looks as uninhabited as ever.
Attempting a different approach, you grab a passing meteoroid, furiously dig a hole to its core, and cram the bewildered and mildly resisting man inside. Well, technically it's a world (albeit a very small one) and technically it's full of men in bear suits (well, one of them anyway.) Good work.
You are now ruler of Man in Bear Suit World.
You are sitting on a meteoroid orbiting a cratered planet in the middle of a colorful and inexplicably breathable spacescape. There is a freshly dug hole here.
You see: feet of man in a bear suit (sticking out of hole and dressed in bear paw slippers)
Abolish monarchy of Man in Bear Suit World; instate anarcho-communism.
>>210
You abdicate your rulership and free the oppressed man in a bear suit from his prison in the meteorite's core. He cocks his head to one side as you explain your plan of cooperation and ungoverned life.
Politics, like nature itself, abhors a vacuum, however, and it is not long before the man in a bear suit makes you his bitch and crams you into the hole.
You are no longer ruler of Man in Bear Suit World.
You are stuck headfirst in a hole dug into the core of a meteoroid orbiting a cratered planet in an oddly liveable spacescape.
It is dark here and you cannot see. You fear you may be eaten by a grue.
Convince the dark and possible grue to join you in a REVOLUTION.
>>212
You rant for a while in the hole, addressing the darkness and your phobia for it. The darkness does not respond, nor does any grue, but the man in a bear suit (most likely, or is it a grue?) shakes your feet and tells you to shut up already.
Enchant my head with scroll of ΚιΫ +3
Un-eat self and return to the safety of the dungeon staircase.
>>214
As amusing as that would undoubtedly be, you don't notice any such item here, and even if you did, you can't read in the dark. In fact, you're not sure you can read at all.
>>215
If only you were back in that dusty old dungeon. Surely there are no grues there. You can just imagine the horrible beast coming to nibble on you in this dark hole. The thought makes you feel sick to your stomach. If only you hadn't had that crazy idea to go and eat your legs!
You vomit, and everything goes black.
You are in a dungeon corridor. Cells line the walls. One of them behind you lies open. In the other direction, a flight of stairs leads upwards.
You see: man in a bear suit (unconscious), dust, tiny pebble with a hole dug in it
A magickal elf pops out of your mouth and tut-tuts as it walks towards the pebble. "Watch where you leave things!" it chastizes.
Eat elf and absorb its powers
>>217
Before the diminutive creature can collect the odd pebble, you cram it back into your mouth and swallow forcibly, trying to do that freakish thing you did with the man in a bear suit earlier.
For a couple of attempts, nothing happens. Then, the magickal elf's snide voice sounds from somewhere in your guts,
"Knock that off. Don't you know, I'm Your Elf? How do you think you do that thing in the first place?"
While this is going on, a blue ball that looks like it came from the ball pit upstairs rolls down the steps and lightly taps the head of the man in a bear suit. He remains still, but breathing.
Bark angrily at the Elf.
Eat dungeon.
>>219
You bark and snarl for a while, and even drool a bit for good measure. No response comes from the elf in your belly(?), though the manbearthing stirs a bit.
>>220
You clamp your teeth on a likely-looking corner of dungeon, but can't seem to bite off any of the stonework. You settle for licking the floor, ingesting a likely unhealthy amount of dust in the process.
go south
>>222
You begin to head south, and once you start, you're not entirely sure when to stop.
Some time later...
You are in a steamy bayou full of mosquitoes and swamp gas. A ramshackle dwelling is in front of you. On the wooden porch you see a gap-toothed, middle aged redneck drinking cans of Budweiser.
Cletus the redneck is here (standing on the porch)
Crushed empty beer cans are here (lying on the porch)
Shotgun is here (leaning against the wall)
Shout loudly in German and deficate.
eat redneck
>>224
"Sei gegrußt, sterblicher, bist du bereit zu sterben?" you boom while breaking wind since that seems to be the only content of your bowels currently. At least, you think you're speaking words.
Cletus certainly doesn't understand a word you're saying, and simply stares upon you dumbstruck for a moment.
>>225
Seizing the opportunity, you engulf the hapless Cletus just as it occurs to him to reach for the shotgun, performing whatever eldritch Kirby tomfoolery goes on in your guts.
Your intelligence has dropped by two points. How does I did the thing?
Your strength has remained constant.
Your charisma has decreased by one point.
You find yourself craving beer.
New skills acquired: can successfully operate firearms while inebriated 50% of the time, can prepare small woodland creatures for human consumption.
Your Elf's tiny voice echoes from somewhere in your innards, "Have you no standards at all?"
find an alligator and eat it to gain its strength
look for a cellar in the ramshackle dwelling
enter cellar
>>227
Boy-howdy, you could go for some grub! Gonna get you one of dem gators, you is. You go a-hunting for one of those varmints right away.
As you are hunting gators, you stumble over an odd-looking log in the bayou. It is an alligator. The alligator eats you.
You are in an alligator's gizzard.
Skeleton with a hook hand is here.
However, you don't get a chance to investigate further, as corrosive digestive fluids melt the flesh from your bones in a horrific manner. Even Your Elf can't save you now.
It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here! Returning to >>226.
>>228
The dwelling sits up above the bayou on some grubby wooden pillars. There isn't really a cellar per se, but you don't let this daunt you, crawling underneath the building in the swampy muck, no doubt in search of the legendary Dweller in the Cellar.
melt into the earth, become one with the planet
Meditate until achieving nirvana.
Offer your anus to the gods to receive the thick creamy enlightenment.
>>230 you lie down in the muck and close your eyes, letting yourself sink down in the warm, smelling mud and letting it feel like a part of your body.
>>231 you clear your addled dog-redneck-whatever brain and focus on the cosmic truth for a long time. The world around you flows on and on, a continuous beautiful thread of existence.
Eventually, you die of exposure, but you realize that it doesn't matter, as your soul has ascended to a higher plane of existence, where things like perverts in bear suits, drunken rednecks and deranged clowns don't exist.
It is very peaceful here. Your Elf appears before you and says, "Well done. I didn't think you had it in you."
** The End **
Would you like to play again?
>>232 As an ascended being you come to realize that this is no longer necessary. All souls are as one here.
new game +
Put all stat points into agility
Remove the cartridge, blow on it, put it in water for thirty three and one third seconds, and then reinsert without resetting.
>>237
Disembodied voice of the Maim Master adds, "Actually the stat modifiers for Cletus are -2 INT -1 CHA."
Eat disembodied voice.
>>239
You inhale air deeply as it vibrates to transmit the sound of the sinister voice. However, since the air is not a living being, the effect is not much different from your usual breathing.
eat the bowl of gruel and absorb its essence
Develop a crush on the straw mat
>>241
You devour the gruel. It is marginally nourishing, but neither pleasant nor satisfying to consume, reminding you vaguely of cold, half congealed preschool paste.
>>242
You never realized until now just how beautiful the straw mat is. You find yourself constructing an elaborate fantasy in which Straw-Mat-tan is your younger cousin and you arrange an elaborate redneck wedding together.
Well, as elaborate as such things go.
Straw-Mat-tan seems utterly oblivious to your affections. This frustrates you, and you think you could sure use a beer.
Interrupting your morose ponderings on unrequited love and brewed hops, the bars of the cell rattle and a horrifying clown jams his face against the door, his bulbous red nose protruding into your space. "Woo hoo hoo, kiddo, are you ready to have FUN?" he squawks in a high-pitched voice, exposing rotten fang-like teeth between his crimson lips.
Take up friendly clown's invitation to have fun.
Backstab him with dagger for critical hit. Absorb his humanity.
>>244
You willingly go with the clown as he unlocks your cell and leads you upstairs, leaving Straw-Mat-tan behind. If that bitch is going to be so cold, well then you'll just go have fun with the guys. In an entirely non-homoerotic way of course, since homo sex makes Baby Jesus cry and you wouldn't want that would you?
Prancing and cavorting, the clown chortles as he leads you up the dungeon steps.
You are in a play room. Various oversized, boldly colored toys are scattered about in a half-neatened state.
You see:
Ball pit full of balls
Rocking horse
Toy chest (closed)
Stuffed bear
Man in a bear suit (frolicking in the ball pit)
"So what would you like to do first, little friend?" the clown cackles, seeming quite delighted. "Ride the horsey? Have a tea party with teddy? Cover yourself in balls? Or maybe you'd like to see what's in our magical toy chest?"
>>245
You decide that none of those options sound fun enough, and that it would be more amusing to play a little prank on your new friend. Wielding the rusty dagger tightly in your fist, you plunge it into the clown's polka-dot clad back, eliciting a sharp yelp as it strikes his scapula.
While the clown is incapacitated, you open your jaws wide and devour him for his essence.
You unbind from Cletus.
Your intelligence has risen 2 points.
Your charisma has risen 1 point.
You no longer crave beer.
You no longer have abilities drunken gunman or small game hunter.
You bind Twinkle the Clown to your essence.
Your intelligence has risen 2 points.
Your dexterity has risen 1 point.
Your strength has decreased 1 point.
You discover that you enjoy listening to Insane Clown Posse.
You have gained abilities: sing Insane Clown Posse songs from memory, perform minor magic, invoke terror in coulrophobic individuals.
You have lost rusty dagger (eaten while still lodged in Twinkles)
The man in a bear suit looks up as you eat Twinkles. It seems to dawn on him that something is wrong.
Run away back downstairs, elope with Straw-Mat-tan.
>>248
You hurry back downstairs to rescue your beloved from the dank dungeon where you met, carefully rolling Straw-Mat-tan and tossing her over your shoulder.
Unfortunately, there is one flaw in your hasty plan: the only way back out of the dungeon is by the stairs, the top of which are blocked by a man in a bear suit.
"You monster, what have you done to Twinkle?" he bellows.
Perform a riposte.
>>250
Using your newfound wit and intelligence, you retort, "And who are you to judge, Fuzzy-Wuzzy? What would your momma think, seeing you in that perverted costume?"
While the man in the bear suit considers his response to that, you quickly elbow by and hurry for the nearest exit with Straw-Mat-tan riding along on your shoulder.
You are standing outside of a strange building made up of many bold colors and strange angles, like a giant preschooler's block construction.
Mailbox is here (closed)
Exits lead south, east and west.
Man with a bear suit is pursuing you.
Tear mailbox out of ground and whack manbearsuit with it while singing, "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"
Dropping Straw-Mat-tan and hoping she'll be all right, you seize the mailbox and begin to heave, straining your arms. At your current strength penalty (-1) you find it takes several attempts, but you finally manage to heft the post from the ground.
Turning with a sneer to face the man in bear suit behind you, you advance, lifting the mailbox high. Is that fear you see in his eyes through the little eyeholes in his bear hood?
"Hey, wait." He says in his gruff voice.
But you don't wait.
"Music is a lot like love, it's all a feeling, and it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling." you rap.
Small package in brown paper falls from the mailbox.
"I see miracles all around me, stop and look around, it's all astounding."
You heave the mailbox and smash the bear-man across the chest with it, arcing around in a backswing to strike him again.
"Water, fire, air and dirt."
Man in a bear suit collapses under your hail of blows.
"Fucking magnets, how do they work?"
With one more conclusive thump, you cave in the back of the manbearthing's skull.
"And I don't wanna talk to a scientist, y'all motherfuckers lying and getting me pissed." you announce with finality.
You are victorious! Man in a bear suit is slain.
For slaying a sentient being, the Blood God grants you a boon. You currently have 1 unclaimed boon(s).
Feeling winded, you collect Straw-Mat-tan while you catch your breath, contemplate on mortality, and idly wonder if "Willy Bubba" might've been more apropos to this performance (but now you can save that one for Cletus, you suppose).
Your stamina is currently low.
Rest on Straw-Mat-tan to regain stamina. Open package.
go find cassandra and conundrum-chan since we are apparently in the same universe and/or game
Wait, are we a boy or a girl?
>>254
You carefully unroll Straw-Mat-tan and stretch yourself out, watching the clouds for a while.
Stamina restored.
Still lying down, you take a look at the mysterious package. It is addressed to "Frank". The rest of the address has been smudged somehow so that you can't make it out. There is no return address.
Tampering with mail is a crime, but then, so is murder. You aren't sure where doing bizarre elf-assisted Kirby impersonations falls into all that, but you shrug and open Frank's package.
Inside, you find a little teddy bear with suction cup paws and a note written in large, loopy handwriting:
"Hey bro -- thought you might enjoy this."
>>255
"Thank you, Straw-Mat-tan!" you say gratefully as you rise and roll the mat back up. She remains as cold and unresponsive as ever.
>>256
You don't remember anyone by those names, but you get a notion in your head that they might somehow be important or relevant. Perhaps your memory is coming back. Or perhaps you are under the influence of an insane clown. It's hard to tell.
At any rate, assessing your situation, you could journey south, east, or west, or you might consider some other method to ascertain these people's whereabouts before you set off.
>>257
You wonder now why it never occurred to you to check. Reaching down, you try to unfasten the piece of armor covering your crotch. It seems to be some sort of metal-plated codpiece adorned with a row of rather unfriendly-looking spikes.
After some struggling, you find that it is stuck fast.
Does it really matter, though? Does not the philosophy of the times say that you are whatever you think you are, and body parts are irrelevant?
Do as the Manifest Destiny foretold and go west.
Bring the teddy bear and straw-mat-tan.
>>259
>>260
You decide to take Straw-Mat-tan and the teddy along, but leave the mailbox and dead body of manbearthing behind. Following the path westwards toward the setting sun, you go on your search for the mysterious and perhaps mythical Cassandra and Conundrum.
You are in a tangled, wild wood, where vines and moss hang thick from the gnarled, hostile-looking trees. Strange hoots and hollers sound out, from animals or perhaps malevolent forest spirits.
Disembodied toothy smile is here. (in a tree)
Possible exits are north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest, up, down, all around.
Offer teddy bear to disembodied smile.
>>262
You hold the teddy bear out to the disembodied smile, which opens into a gaping, fang-lined maw that devours the toy in a single chomp, taking your hand with it.
After some loud, messy chewing, the smile re-forms, a crimson tongue extending to lick the fluff and blood from its teeth.
"Hmm, a bit like ham. Your gift pleases me, friend." it says in a sibilant voice. "*For your favor I will offer you something in return. Perhaps you would like to learn a dark magical secret? Or I could offer you a boon?"
The stump of your wrist bleeds, incurring constant HP loss.
Ask for a new hand in an extremely specific and detailed way that keeps us from being genie-raped by semantic loopholes.
OOC:
Wonder out loud if the grinding noises guy has now taken over this thread.
>>264
You begin to express your wish in excruciating detail to the fidgeting, but forebearing smile.
Somewhere around Section 372C, you bleed to death.
"Funny," the disembodied smile says, still grinning wide, "I thought by your aura that you were some sort of deranged jester, not a lawyer. Oh well, I guess you can't judge a freak by their aura."
Your hand reappears on your cooling, lifeless corpse, just as you left it. The smile vanishes from sight.
~ THE END ~
Play again?
Your friendly neighborhood Maim Master disavows all claims of being "grinding noises guy".
Take advantage of the amazing offers Black Friday has in store for everyone!
Also fix hand.
Enable Wild West DLC.
New game+
Enter big head cheat code.
>>267
You take a break from the game for a bit to visit the mall, and buy yourself an expensive cyborg hand at half price while you're at it. You're sure that this will give you an edge at gaming.
>>268
While you're spending big money, you go ahead and get yourself some DLC while you're at it.
Wild West DLC!
Now you can customize your character with:
Cowboy HAT!
Cowboy MOUSTACHE!
Cowboy SHERIFF BADGE!
Indian HEADDRESS!
Speedy Gonzales SOMBRERO!
Wild West SIX SHOOTER! (for cosmetic purposes only)
Combine now with Ride a Horse DLC and you could also have BUCKING BRONCO HOSS!
You begin a new game+ with the following:
Bound essence:
Twinkle the Clown
Inventory:
You are in a small, dank cell. You are lying on a mat made of straw; to your chagrin it is not your beloved, who is safely in your inventory. Aside from the mat, the only furnishings you see are a chamber pot and a bowl of cold gruel. You have no recollection of this place.
There is a rusty dagger lying in the corner to replace the one you lost in a previous existence.
>>269
The world warps around you, and you feel your body shrinking while your head swells, until you look like a gag shot from one of those weird Japanimation shows. Although locomotion should be impossible with such deformed physiology, it feels just as natural as before.
An equally super-deformed man in a bear suit appears at the cell door. "Well well, is it playtime already?" he says in a gruff yet playful voice.
Develop a tsundere crush on the second straw mat. Stand up and say, "I wasn't laying on you because I l-l-like you or anything, b-b-baka!" Blush a deep crimson red. Add the second straw mat (hereafter known as Koza-chan) to inventory in the hopes of developing some love triangular antics.
Quickly changing character by channeling our inner clown, press our nose against the cell and squawk in a high-pitched voice to the manbearsuit, "Woo hoo hoo, kiddo, are you ready to have FUN?" Bare fangs.
Equip sombrero.
Re-equip sombrero 4 times while pressing start to activate the flying glitch
Complains about the lack of indian weapons
Turn straw mat into an indian weapon
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http://www.cityheaven.net/q/d_oasis_fukuoka/
>>271
You stutter and blush to the new straw mat before dubbing her Koza-chan and collecting her. Neither mat responds.
Doing your best impression of Twinkle, you slam your face against the bars and call out to the man in the bear suit.
Man in a bear suit does not fear clowns; clowns are the man in a bear suit's friends.
"Oh ho, yes oh yes!" he replies, opening the cell and grabbing your wrist before prancing down the hall, dragging you in tow up to the play room and diving into the ball pit.
Somewhere in the midst of all this, a Speedy Gonzales SOMBRERO appears on your head, announcing to the world that you are a proud buyer of the Wild West DLC.
>>272
You screw with the SOMBRERO a bit in ways you don't entirely understand. It begins to levitate about a half-foot above your head, while following your position.
>>273
"Man, that ain't fair. That's RACIST." you whine. A dialog box pops up asking if you would like to make an additional purchase of the Native American DLC.
>>274
Fanning your hand over your mouth to make a grossly stereotypical "loo-loo-loo!" war cry, you belt the man in a bear suit in the back of the head with Koza-chan. He falls face first into the balls, but comes up laughing and grabs you in a big bearish play-wrestle hold.
>>275
Visions of young Japanese women dressed in lingerie with inexplicably blurry faces pass your mind's eye for no reason you can discern.
"Fukuoka." you say, causing the man in a bear suit to look at you as if trying to figure out whether or not you just said a bad word.
Momentarily distract man in bear suit.
Open toy chest.
Hide inside toy chest.
Laugh and play with the manbearsuit, carefully expending less energy than he does, until he gets tired and falls asleep, then steal his keys and sneak out.
>>277
"Hey, is that Teddy Rubskin?" you call out, suddenly pointing. When the manbearsuit looks, you dart out of the ball pit and flip the lid of the chest, jumping in amongst the toys and doing your best to make your grotesque cranium fit.
You are inside an oversized toy chest. All sorts of bold, colorful doodads surround you, most of a simple nature designed for people who have vivid imaginations to enjoy.
Looking rather out of place, doll in a Victorian dress sits here (holding teacup and staring at you)
>>278
Your giggles, and the Speedy Gonzales SOMBRERO levitating over the toy chest with no regard for solid polygon clipping, soon alert the man in a bear suit to your location, and he pokes his furry-hooded head inside, making theatrical sniffing noises.
"Let's play hide and seek!" you say, and begin to romp about with your new playmate.
After a long day of play, you take the keys from the sleeping manbearsuit and tiptoe out the unlocked front door.
You are standing outside of a strange building made up of many bold colors and strange angles, like a giant preschooler's block construction.
Mailbox is here (closed)
It is night and the scene is illuminated by moonlight. Pale Luna smiles at you.
Exits lead south, east and west.
expand dong
Smile at pale Luna.
Head east to make our fortune in the Big City.
>>280
You attempt to contact Vsauce with some ideas for new DONG episodes, but you find you are lacking a long-distance communications device.
>>281
Pale Luna smiles back.
You move east.
You are on a long, dusty road that seems to have been neglected for many years. Dry, shabby grass grows to either sides, and the stark towers of electrical poles rise to the northern side, carrying energy to the little playhouse. In the silent night, you can almost hear them sizzle faintly. The main road heads east-west, but a fainter fork leads north, and nothing is particularly blocking you from wandering out into the grass.
Large sign is here (pointing north)
You see city lights in the distance (on the eastern horizon)
Possible exits are: east, west, north, south, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest.
Climb electrical pole.
>>283
You climb the electical pole to get a better look at the surroundings. To the north the landscape looks considerably darker and more foreboding. To the east, you still can't make out much more of the city than the lights. To the west is a strange playhouse and beyond it a forest. In other directions are grass.
>>284
Maim Master strikes you with a lightning bolt!
You have been slain.
Maim Master collects your oversized skull as a trophy.
It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here! GAME OVER.
Read the large sign. If the sign is promising, climb down and head north. Otherwise, climb down and head east.
>>286
Large block letters read "ITER VEHEMENS AD NECEM". Normally, this is something you would blithely investigate, but your +2 INT bonus suggests that it might not be a good idea, so you take the eastward path.
You are standing in the outskirts of a large city, aglow with streetlights and neon signs that blot out the stars. The place looks vaguely cyberpunk, high-tech yet bleak.
Robotic Enforcer is here.
AK-47 is here. (in hand of Robotic Enforcer)
The Robotic Enforcer approaches and projects a drug-detecting scan ray from its single red eye slot. Not detecting any drugs, it waves you on, grating in its mechanized voice, "MOVE ALONG, CITIZEN. OBEY THE LAW."
eat robot
>>288
You approach the Robotic Enforcer and seize it, opening your jaws wide.
"WARNING: IRREGULAR BEHAVIOR." the robot grates.
Disregarding its protests, you cram the robot down your gullet as it continues to speak in an emotionless tone, "ASSAULTING AN OFFICER. RESISTING ARREST. PREPARE TO BE..."
At this point, its protests cease as it is assimilated.
Incompatible essence displaces your current binding.
You unbind from Twinkle the Clown.
Your intelligence has decreased 2 points.
Your dexterity has decreased 1 point.
Your strength has increased 1 point.
You no longer enjoy ICP.
You have lost abilities: sing ICP songs from memory, perform minor magic, invoke terror in coulrophobes
You bind Robotic Enforcer to your essence.
Your agility has decreased 2 points.
Your strength has increased 5 points.
Your endurance has increased 2 points.
Your charisma has decreased 1 point.
You must expend stamina when overriding the Enforcer Code.
You have gained ability: detect presence of illegal drugs
You have improved abilities: intimidate with a lethal weapon (+1), operate firearms (+2)
AK-47 has left. (held by Robotic Enforcer when eaten)
assume the robot's post on the guard
Grow 3 or 5 extra stomachs.
shapeshift into a cow
Go into an errand quest in the search of your 2 intelligence points
Search for illegal drugs in the foreboding forest
>>290
Feeling a little naked without a weapon issued by Enforcer HQ, you take up guard duty on the corner, keeping watch for dastardy drug dealers and warning the occasional passerby to obey the law. You get a few odd looks; apparently non-Robotic Enforcers have fallen out of style, not to mention you're carrying a pair of straw mats on your back for some reason.
>>291
A warning from the Enforcer Code appears in your mind's eye: "ATTEMPTING SELF-MODIFICATION IS IRREGULAR."
After making a few attempts to morph your internal structure, you find that you lack the requisite ability. Your Elf offers petulantly as an echoing voice inside you, "I could do this for you, but I don't know why I should or why you'd want to. Perhaps we can strike a deal? A favor for a favor?"
>>292
A warning from the Enforcer Code appears in your mind's eye: "ATTEMPTING SELF-MODIFICATION IS IRREGULAR."
You find that you lack the requisite ability to become a being of the bovine persuasion; you require ability: Perform Major Magic. You settle for letting out your best "MOO!"
>>293
Even without them, you're not too dumb to realize that those were really Twinkle's points, and that you might be able to get them back if you eat him, or someone like him, again.
With that in mind, you head back to the play house to investigate. You find the manbearsuit sleeping where you left him, but although you locate a room full of clown attire and paraphernalia, the clown himself appears to be out.
You head westwards into the forest and take a few twists and turns until your augmented vision highlights something.
"PSYCHOACTIVE SUBSTANCE DETECTED
CLASS: HALLUCINOGEN
SOURCE: MUSHROOM
REGULATION: ILLEGAL"
You are in a hostile, gnarled wood, where vines and moss hang thick from the tangled, wild-looking trees. Strange hoots and hollers sound out, from animals or perhaps malevolent forest spirits.
Pale Luna smiles at you.
Cluster of mushrooms is here. (growing at the foot of a tree)
Possible exits are north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest, up, down, all around.
go down
>>296
You descend into a sinister hole nestled in the gnarled tree roots.
It is very dark here. You fear you may be eaten by a grue.
eat grue
wear mittens.
>>298
A Robotic Enforcer does not feel fear when facing any dastardly ne'er-do-well, grue or otherwise, you remind yourself.
Feeling around in the dark, you search until you encounter something that moves, then use your superior strength to seize and devour it, despite its vigorous struggles.
Incompatible essence displaces your currently bound essence.
You unbind from Robotic Enforcer.
Your agility has increased 2 points.
Your strength has decreased 5 points.
Your endurance has decreased 2 points.
Your charisma has increased 1 point.
You are no longer obligated to follow the Enforcer Code.
You have lost ability: detect presence of illegal drugs
You return to your base level in abilities: intimidate with a lethal weapon, operate firearms
You bind Thorvald the Dwarf to your essence.
Your strength has increased 3 points.
Your endurance has increased 1 point.
You grow a luxurious ankle-length beard.
You need alcohol to get through the day.
You have gained abilities: infravision, appraise minerals, sense direction underground
You have improved abilities: axe combat (+1), mace combat (+1)
Blinking a bit, you realize that you can now see. Verifying the lack of any grue in residence, you exhale a sigh of relief.
You are in a system of tunnels beneath the forest. Gnarled roots occasionally protrude from the walls, and here and there you see signs of digging.
Pickaxe is here.
Possible exits are: north, south, east, west, up, down.