>>224
"Sei gegrußt, sterblicher, bist du bereit zu sterben?" you boom while breaking wind since that seems to be the only content of your bowels currently. At least, you think you're speaking words.

Cletus certainly doesn't understand a word you're saying, and simply stares upon you dumbstruck for a moment.

>>225
Seizing the opportunity, you engulf the hapless Cletus just as it occurs to him to reach for the shotgun, performing whatever eldritch Kirby tomfoolery goes on in your guts.

Your intelligence has dropped by two points. How does I did the thing?
Your strength has remained constant.
Your charisma has decreased by one point.
You find yourself craving beer.
New skills acquired: can successfully operate firearms while inebriated 50% of the time, can prepare small woodland creatures for human consumption.

Your Elf's tiny voice echoes from somewhere in your innards, "Have you no standards at all?"