Clonepa or Superman?
Clonepa, if you kill one of him two more will jump out of a cloning vat to take his place.
Duke Nukem or Superman?
Duke Nukem cause Clonepa already kicked superman's ass
What do I say?
Mittens would totally lose that fight.
Godzilla vs. Batman - In Gotham, but Godzilla has the element of surprise.
Godzilla
Kenshiro vs. Haruhi
Kenshiro dominates the talent portion but Haruhi takes it all home with the swimsuit competition.
a midget V a dwarf
>Kenshiro dominates the talent portion but Haruhi takes it all home with the swimsuit competition.
RAAAAAAAAAAEG
>a midget V a dwarf
what
geese howard vs wolfgang krauser
>>9
answer the fucking question or we don't fucking answer yours
krauser coz he be burnin
calvin klein vs a bathing ape
>>14
@ ©__©
@i@ί mίj I'm not into the whole triple-posting thing.
@i@@@j
Also, dwarf. Have you seen those pickaxes?
While the PC is clearly weak versus virus, the Mac has no virus-elemental attack (despite what hollywood would have you believe) as it's only use is as a fashion accessory. PC wins through sheer marketshare.
My Dad VS Your Dad
( E-E) Me, because 20get
( E-E) Enrico Pucci vs. Goenitz
GIS reveals they are clearly the same character. Therefore, this must be a man vs himself scenario, In which case, I give a 58 to 1 odds that he overcomes his demons and becomes a more complete human being in the process. The demons in this case, by viewing images of the man in question, are probably either shopaholism or a mild to moderate stutter.
Jack Nicholson (1974) VS Robert Redford (1972); bare knuckle boxing, no hitting below the belt. Winner determined not by outcome of match but by who Bridgette Bardot (1961) runs to after the match, with tears in her eyes.
> Bridgette
This does not sound like the most legit of the Bardots. I doubt either of them would intentionally allow him to ran to them, which means that the only person who would stick around after the match would be the loser, who under those terms would be found the winner. And that obviously would be Jack Nicholson.
Laser Kirby vs. Sword Kirby
Sword, except when there's a lot of angled surfaces to make the lasers bounce all over.
Elevators vs Escalators
Elevators, because you can't transport heavy machinery by escalator.
Mariko Morikawa versus Miyabi Hayama
75 Ford Ekonoline 350 van, because more k's in the name mean more power.
Two lvl. 3 mages or a lvl. 6 warrior?
The warrior. He has more speed, which means he gets the first attack and one-hits the first mage. The second mage, being lv3, has no spells that are actually useful and pretty crappy physical stats, so he might manage to knock a few HP off the warrior, but he'll get pounded too in the end.
Brut vs. Old Spice
As it is notoriously difficult to convince cologne to engage in fisticuffs, I would have to determine the winner by which athelete sponsored each brand. The Internet tells me that Brut has been sponsored in the past by Joe Namath and Cassius Clay among others, while Old Spice has some NASCAR guy. Bruce Campbell, while very manly, can not save this match.
Winner is Brut, with Old Spice's weary, aging, broken body gasping for breath under the pressure of three broken ribs, one collapsed lung and critical head trauma that will most certainly leave Old Spice mentally feeble for the rest of it's natural life.
HAL9000 VS SKYNET; chess match, no interference.
>Bruce Campbell, while very manly, can not save this match.
I shall say good day to you, sir.
Epic fail.
Kirby versus Mario
Yes indeed.
cpm vs uho
DQN, idiots are more accomplished fighters than VIPPERS.
One's left fist vs one's right elbow
The outcome would depend on whether one is left-handed, right-handed, or ambidextrous. In the final case, the elbow would win as the bone and cartilage is much more massive in that area, giving it greater resilience and allowing it to land much more devastating blows.
Ngo Dinh Diem vs Syngman Rhee
I refuse to research these gentlemen or genteel women to determine the winner, so I will flip a coin... it rolled under the desk so I'm going to have to give this one to Superman.
Thread Structure VS Serial Derailment
i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment in 10 other threds i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
Daisies versus dandelions
Dandelions. Their advantage lies mainly in their huge taproot, capable of regenerating the rest of the plant should it go missing.
Chuck Norris vs Bill Nye
Bill is the more accomplished banjoist of the two. Otherwise, I don't exactly see how someone who seriously thinks global warming is seriously affected by anthropogenically-produced carbon dioxide can win against a man who does not sleep.
Longcat vs Widedog
Longcat is loooooooooooooooooooooooooong, as long as the universe itself. Widedog could travel for 100's of 1000s of lightyears and never find a vulnerable spot on Longcat.
LOLcat -vs- LOLrus...
ready?
FIGHT!!!
If you convert letters of their names into ASCII codes and sum them up then LOLrus > LOLcat.
VOC@LOID Hatsune Miku vs UTAU Kasane Teto
Hatsune Miku is printed on 10,000 as many pillows as UTAU Kasane Teto, therefore Hatsune Miku wins.
VW TDI sportwagon versus Toyota Prius
The Volkswagen because you get in cheaper if you're driving a VW
Air-cooled VW vs. water-cooled VW?
Air cooled VW because VW makes to much plastic junk that breaks eaily in their cooling systems.
Beijing versus Los Angeles
Beijing probably has even more smog than LA. LA attacks, then suffocates.
Steve Albini vs Mark E Smith
At first I was going to say that Mark E. Smith is older and therefore wiser, but personally I like how Steve Albini looks on the photo on wikipedia encyclopaedia.
So I declare Steve Albini to be WINNER !
Ibaraki vs. Saitama!
Dunkin Donuts has never given me a free donut when I walked in. Krispy Kreme has. Therefore, Krispy Kreme wins.
Magikarp vs Metapod
Magikarp! karp! karp!
Steam vs. Playonline
This fight basically comes down to who is more tenacious: PC gamers or Final Fantasy kids? I'm going with the FF kids, so Playonline wins.
Old Eddie Murphy movies vs. Relatively new episodes of Pokemon
( LΦ`) In the hands of a decent operator, abacus excels at the basic four functions, hands-down; it has everything to do with input speed, which the numeric pad is not so hot at. When it comes to more complex calculations, however, the calculator wins. It is a toss-up all depending on what calculations you need done, and where those calculations should be stored.
( LΦ`) Nothing beats the slide rule for mathematician/engineer/geek cred, though.
Clonepa vs Darkpa
As established in >>2, you can not fight only one Clonepa.
Ergo, the winner is Clonepa.
Marvel vs. Capcom
SNK.
Powerthirst vs. your mother
Whichever wins, it is then beaten by any number of software that will turn several images taken with your standard camera into one single panoramic image.
John Conner VS John McClane VS John Rambo VS John Matrix VS John Spartan VS John Constantine VS John Kimble
Assuming that all combatants are fighting at the same time, the eventual winner will have to possess strength, stamina, intelligence and previous battle experience. John looks to be the favourite on paper due to his obvious proficiency in firearms, but this is a trait shared also by John, John, John and John (this is of course assuming that there are weapons available at all). In unarmed combat, John would have the slight edge over the others thanks to his powerful build, but depending on the arena's environment the same build could put him at a disadvantage as far as maneuverability is concerned. John, John and to a certain extent John all possess what can only be referred to as 'plothax', therefore being able to survive what could very well defeat a lesser man, but it is important not to place too much significance on said ability. As far as stamina is concerned John probably has the edge, but I could easily see John, John, John and even John given him a good run for his money, so this is not enough to triumph in this battle. I suppose what this really comes down to, however, is the fighters ability to please the crowd; what's the use in winning a fight if the audience calls for your blood instead of your foes? Of course, John is the clear winner in the respect, even John would have to admit that his charisma far surpasses anyone else fighting here, and when coupled with his smarts, his combat strength and his pure resiliency it is clear who the survivor of this battle royale would be; John by a mile.
A Western comic book nerd VS a Japanese otaku
Vladimir Putin, being ex-KGB, can kill a man with a cold stare.
The fight begins with a bow and then ... Junichiro Koizumi does the only honorable thing and cuts his own belly open with a katana to avoid the shame of defeat.
Richard Nixon VS Lester B Pearson
There ain't a diplomat dead or alive who's ass Nixon can't kick.
Mazinger Z vs. The Iron Giant
t @l @@ @ @@j@a @@o @o@ @@@@@ @@ @@C@@ @@l @y@@@@ @ @@sg @h@f@@@@@@ @@@ @D
`@a@ur@ci r
The nigga cuz them thugs and shit so they can beat up them azn who watch cartoons all day.
Racism or xenophobia?
Xenophobia because it hurts those who immigrate illegally.
2girls1cup or swap.avi?
swap.avi because they'll last longer.
Phoenix Wright vs. Battler (Umineko no Naku Koro ni)
Phoenix Wright paralyzes the enemy in fear when he shouts OBJECTION!
Duct tape or electrical tape?
Duct tape. Come on, it's duct tape. It can do anything.
Carpeting or hard floors?
hard floors because when something gets spilled on carpet it is hard to remove.
Top Gun or After Burner
After Burner because Top Gun is gay.
TRIPLE THREAT
Cilla Black vs Sandie Shaw vs Lulu
Sandie Shaw because if the other two try to form an alliance, the name Sandie Shaw would take more time to discuss.
VW R32 or Subaru WRX?
As I could not find crash test ratings for either vehicle, I will have to give the victory in a head-on collision to the VW R32. Reason being it has only two doors and a higher curb weight. But I'm also biased against hood scoops. Safety of human drivers not guaranteed.
Gangster Planet VS Nazi Planet
Nazi Planet, the gangster planet would be too rife with infighting to be able to carry on a decent fight.
An ant that looks like a spider vs a spider that looks like an ant.
A spider that looks like an ant, because it can still shot webs at the imposter spider-ant.
The Mothership from the movie Independence Day or a Titan from Eve online.
The Titan is immune to all kinds of electronic warfare, while the mothership was taken down with a MacBook and a nuke. The Titan wins, easily.
Darth Vader vs. Brock Samson
At first, I gathered this a simple victory for Darth Vader. But then I considered the essential rule of 'Good Guys Win' and that Darth Vader is at heart a scared little child. But then it became clear that this Brock Samson is just a good guy, not the good guy, more of a sidekick. In the end Brock Samson, like Obi-Wan Kenobi before him, sacrifices himself as the means to completion of some other goal. Most likely to protect the good guy.
Dr. Phil VS Judge Judy
Dr. Phil, he'd put Judge Judy in a hole in his back yard with the other judges that tried to convict him.
Arizona VS. Arizona Iced Tea
Arizona because any iced tea will quickly evaporate in Arizona.
Bugs Bunny or The Angry Video Game Nerd?
Bugs Bunny creates a Lady Video Game Nerd out of TNT, a dress, and a blonde wig. The Angry Video Game Nerd, not being a cartoon, is washed off the floor, walls and ceiling with a hose. And most unfortunately he had no extra lives or continues left.
Charles Manson VS John Wayne Gacy
Gacy would be too busy raping little boys to notice that a member of Manson's "family", jacked up on LSD and thinking that Gacy is responsible for Manson's failure to break into the record industry before his conviction, is sneaking up behind him with a knife. Just as Gacy releases his load in little Johnny's anus, the drugged-up woman slits his throat. She then proceeds to kill Johnny in the same manner, and then dies after another hit.
TAG TEAM MATCH for EVIL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Morgoth and Sauron vs. champions Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine
Darth Vader and and Emperor Palpatine because more fanboys give them support.
Card Captor Sakura or Sailor Moon?
Card Captor Sakura can make herself massive and then just step on Sailor Moon. Or she could make herself tiny, enter Sailor Moon's nose, climb up to her brain and then use the fire card to burn it, before quickly making her escape. She may be a little girl, but she's fucking lethal.
DJ CLONEPA Vs SEASONABLE CLONEPA #85
SEASONABLE CLONEPA #85 DUE TO MANLINESS
Terry Bogard vs. Hotaru Futaba
We've been over this a gazillion times. THERE. IS. NO. CLEAR. WINNER.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1202850490 vs http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476
>>82
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1202850490 had 0.213 posts per day, but http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476 had 0.2995, so http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1227718476 is clearly the winner.
Tohno Shiki vs. Ryougi Shiki