Clonepa or Superman?
>>491
Given enough time, the serene waves will erode the mountain into a cliff face. But to everybody's surprise the mountain turns out to be an active volcano capable of rebuilding itself with lava and tephra. Its a race to see which dies first. Will the lake waters dry up before the mountain goes extinct? Will the volcano go dormant and be slowly whittled away by the water? Since no one can possibly confirm the outcome of what would be the longest battle ever, the officials are calling it a stalemate.
>>493
Space Battleship Yamato vs the Death Star
>>493
In terms of raw physical attributes, Solid Snake has the edge. Despite being in his late 40s or early 50s in recent games, he maintains an athletic physique and impressive physical conditioning from years of special forces training. Sam Fisher is also in excellent shape for his age, which is late 40s-early 50s as well, but Snake canonically possesses greater strength, stamina, and hand-to-hand combat prowess. Both are exceptional marksmen with a wide variety of firearms, but Snake has engaged in direct firefights more often throughout his career.
However, Sam Fisher's forte is stealth and subterfuge. He is a master of infiltration, covert movement, and gathering intel without being detected. Thanks to his background in Third Echelon's research and development of new stealth technologies, Fisher has access to spy gear beyond what is ordinarily available like vision augmentation, non-lethal weaponry, and sophisticated communications equipment. He is incredibly difficult to detect and can neutralize threats silently from the shadows.
Solid Snake relies more on guerrilla tactics, close quarters combat training, and improvisation when stealth fails. While still highly skilled in stealth operations, direct combat is more in his wheelhouse compared to Fisher. His missions have also frequently placed him in open battle scenarios where all-out fights were inevitable. However, Snake makes up for any technological disadvantages with intense willpower, vast experience, and a tendency to turn any environment or object into a makeshift weapon.
As for skillsets, Fisher has a wide array of stealth skills like disguising, lockpicking, climbing, hacking, and linguistic abilities that allow him to seamlessly blend in anywhere. Solid Snake is savvy but less refined in impersonation and technical skills. However, he has demonstrated expertise in first aid, survival training, tracking, and is peerless at interrogating enemies for crucial intel.
Overall, if this was a direct confrontation with no preparation or intel gathering beforehand, I'd give the edge to Solid Snake. His all-around soldier abilities, years of facing impossible odds, and tendency to improvise brilliant plans on the fly would serve him well against Fisher's stealth-oriented tactics. However, if Fisher was given time to plan an ambush using the full arsenal of his spy technologies and infiltration talents, he could certainly find a way to defeat even the legendary Solid Snake while avoiding detection. It would be an epic clash between two legendary soldiers of espionage, but Snake's experience with reactive, fluid combat scenarios makes him a bit tougher in a straight fight. There's also the fact that much more crazy shit happens in Metal Gear and Solid Snake has defeated adversaries with semi-supernatural abilities.
>>495
The old coots who comment on The Register vs. The crazy people posting on the Phoronix forums
>>496
Gotta go with Godzilla. Assuming no crazy hijinks from the EVA suit like doing that apotheosis shit that shifts reality. Assuming it's just a semi-conscious mecha vs kaiju I would say that it'd end up with Shinji and Godzilla teaming up to beat Destoroyah. EVA suits themselves can get blown up and die, and since big G can take out shit like mechagodzilla it doesn't seem the primary threat.
So Godzilla vs Destoroyah will probably end with godzilla just barely winning with help.
>>498
The God Emperor from 40k vs The God Emperor from Dune.
>>503
Highly dependent on the circumstances. If I can arm myself and confront the sluggish dragon as it digests a fresh kill, I think I've got a decent chance. If we're both dropped into a sand pit in prime condition to wrestle it out bare-handed (or bare-clawed in the dragon's case), I'm getting gruesomely torn to chunks.
In the absence of any information about the match, I will not wager money on my own survival.
>>504
Friend (20th Century Boys) vs every Kemono Friend (Kemono Friends)
>>504 The Instagram model can summon thousands of South Asian men to defend her, while the Tiktok influencer can summon an army of millions of children. Based upon grip strength studies, the Instagram model's army is unfortunately not likely very strong, and the Tiktok influencer's army could overpower them by numbers. The Youtuber has a strong counter to the child army with his special skill: 「Ｂａｄ Ｔｏｕｃｈ」, which can instandly groom any opponent under age 18, turning them into thralls, with a number of uses and frequency of use determined by his subscriber count. This is, potentially countered by the Wikipedia editor's contacts in the US State Department, though he more typically is bound by their commands than able to summon them, and if the Youtuber happens to be supplying the Global Elites with members of the child army he's used his skill on, then he'll have protection that the Wikipedia editor just can't break through. Overall, I think it's a tossup between the Youtuber and the Tiktok influencer, primarily determined by whether the Algorithm chooses to screw either of them over.
>>506 A team of transgender programmers leading an army of Twitch politics/debate streamer viewers versus a small, elite cadre of gay nazi bodybuilder Twitter users leading an army of angry and confused Qanon-obsessed boomers.
>>505
The transgender programmers, some of which have expanded past self-administering hormones into bulking up with steroids, are a shockingly even match for the gay nazi bodybuilders, several of whom turn out to actually be obese basement-dwelling grifters from Malaysia merely pretending to be gay nazi bodybuilders.
Their ultimate victory is secured by the Twitch streamer viewers. Although not particularly strong on average, and perhaps less eager to fight and kill, the streamers are far younger and healthier than the Qanon-obsessed boomers. Many of the boomers fall victim to complications of diabetes, lung disease and simply being old and decrepit as the battle rages on, allowing the younger generations to clinch the win.
>>507
Pancakes vs. waffles.
>>507
The catboy is submissive by nature and cats are known for being unsociable and staying in doors limits his means of escape. As a homosexual, he'd recoil in horror at the mere sight of a female body. Not only is the foxgirl dominant but she's bisexual which gives her inherent advantages and perks like knowing both male and female antomy and how to exploit them. He could flee but the foxgirl's excellent tracking skills and cunning make this futile. The catboy would be seduced, fucked, and turned easily.
>>509
Cute girl vs Bury Pink girl.
>>509
While the tits ability to fly gives them the aerial advantage, their size makes them too small to do any real damage, even with their numbers in consideration of the fact that they have to get close to do any damage in the first place aka getting-chomped range (GCR), given equines good track record (heh) of eating small birds, I’m gonna have to give this fight to the ass.
>>511
A Fifteenth century alchemist vs a modern day chemist
>>512
Both are heavily armoured grass munchers. Stegosaurus spiked tail could inflict horrific damage, but ankylosaurus has a more robust build and better movement albeit slow. Its huge tail club could crush the stegosaurus plate armour. Ultimately, the ankylosaurus slow speed will be its downfall. Stegosaurus will whip it to death from the outside or get its herd buddies to join in.
>>514
SAS vs [s4s]
>>517
Fubuki does not buy sausage, putting her at a handicap in Sausage Legend Online, the venue of this match. Konata will easily defeat Fubuki with her superior wiener, pictorial evidence of which can be found on websites such as e-hentai and gelbooru.
>>519
An Apollyon-class SCP versus a Great Old One
>>519
A rotting corpse does not stand a chance against a dragon, except maybe a bearded dragon and even then the lizard will probably outlive that thing. Corpses dry out and decompose quickly, especially in tropical climates where bearded dragons are to be found.
>>521
The cast of Azumanga Daioh vs Yuyushiki in a battle royale.
>>521
Israel cannot defeat Marisa. Since no Jews no longer believe in Judaism, their powerful magical kabbalistic powers have all but disappeared and Zionists quickly take over the struggle. While Jewish-American lawyers file a million lawsuits and appear on CNN to denounce Touhou fans and preach self defense, the IDF bombs Hakurei Shrine and destroys every school, orphanage, and hospital in Gensokoyo. Myouren temple is also bombed for harboring youkai. Angry Jewish mobs raid anime stores in Brooklyn while terrorism experts discuss radical weeabooism on TV. Moot is hunted down and lynched. Jewish protestors camp outside the Japanese embassy demanding ZUN be brought to justice. While Reimu is killed in a CIA drone strike, the Touhou Jihadist Resistance Movement pledges to keep up the fight with Iranian support. Gensokoyo is blockaded with US backing. Result: stalemate. But only because the Jews succeeded in bringing in Uncle Sam. This is obviously cheating leading to disqualification as per DQN rules but we can not give Touhou fans the win because the ADL is litigating against us in court.
>>523
Madoka Kaname vs Harvey Weinstein
Sabotage is more effective than mere burglary, so advantage Noid.
Rick Sanchez vs. Loki.
>>528
Lowtax is eliminated immediately on account of already being dead. Elon Musk quickly works up a sweat during the fight and a few droplets of moisture land on his Cybertruck, causing it to burst into flames and explode, killing everyone nearby. Result: 3-way draw.
>>530
Jane Touhou vs John Darksouls
>>529
John will be severely limited by his inability to fly. From his perspective, this will essentially be like the Moonlight Butterfly fight but with ten times more projectiles and without his enemy conveniently coming within halberd distance every so often. As bows are extremely slow and predictable, his best bet is likely to be ranged spells -- all of which are very easy to stream away from from as danmaku. Unless John gets extremely lucky with a Sunlight Spear to Jane's hitbox, she will swiftly end him.
>>531
Lunarians (Touhou) vs Lunarians (Houseki no Kuni)
>>530
The outcome of this battle might depend on if it takes place on the Moon, and if rabbits are included. The big disadvantage the Touhous have is that they aren't really immortal and can die, unlike the other lunarians who regenerate when they're killed. However, their technology appears to be quite primitive. I think it would be fair to say that if the battle took place on the Moon,and the Touhous had their moon rabbit army they wouldn't stand a chance. If they were going to fight the ones at Eientei then it might be more contestable, but as I understand it they aren't really gods either, and they also have the earth rabbits to defend them so they might also be defeated easily in that case. So I think the Touhous would win.
>>532
Lunarians (Touhou) vs Mooninites (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
>>533
The outcome of this battle depends on a variety of factors. Bears bulk up before winter and can eat more than their combined total bodyweight and after hibernation they are usually quite hungry and will wolf down whatever they can get their claws on, so seasons will be an important factor. Sharks are less gluttenous and will usually quit when they've had their full. But sharks vary in size, from small lemon sharks to huge whale sharks, and the larger species could probably swallow the entire pile of hot dogs whole before the bear can finish his plate. Based on this factor alone, I give the shark the win.
>>534
Clint Eastwood (Man with no Name) vs Revolver Ocelot
>>534
The small jungle cat is at a serious size and strength disadvantage against a human, and that's before we even get into its impaired coordination as a result of being rotated. Thankfully, however, the other combatant, being a man with a name without a name, is a paradox who cannot exist, leaving the ocelot to win by default.
>>536
Kyubey vs G-Man
>>536
You can see by the fact his games end with all the characters sitting around drinking tea, and they have an elaborate form of ritual danmaku duels rather than physically fighting one another, that ZUN clearly eschews and shies away from violence. In contrast, the violent and disturbing motifs in Kikyama's work show he is prepared to take a kitchen knife to another person if it comes to it. Kikiyama is the clear victor.
>>538
Cloth mother vs wire mother.