Clonepa or Superman?
>>457
Due to (@₯ิΦ₯ิ)'s public exhibitionism, (L<_M @) is convinced (@₯ิΦ₯ิ) is really a VIPPER in disguise. His suspicions turn out to be correct.
Taking the initiative, (@₯ิΦ₯ิ) summons the spirit of DADDY COOL. However, due to being incorporeal and physically weak, he doesn't help very much.
>>459
Stephen Wolfram vs. Gerald Sussman
>>459
Darkness hides in the corner and casts shadows where light cannot reach, remaining undefeated in the indefinite term. Light finally succumbs to the cold dark end of all things where all stars have gone out and even the most distant cosmic light has attenuated to naught, but it'll take her billions upon billions of years.
>>461
Salt vs. vinegar
>>461
Sauron was vanquished when his favorite piece of bling fell into a volcano, whereas Cthulhu is often stated to be unkillable and there is no reason to doubt this. The best Sauron can hope for is a stalemate, probably because Cthulhu can't even be bothered to wake up to react to his puny attacks.
>>463
Faggot (bundle of sticks) vs faggot (meatball)
>>468
Judging by the streams, mists, and lush vegetation, it sounds like Ember's going to have a tough time getting a good forest fire going. I reckon Seraph's going to extinguish him and his army without much trouble.
>>470
You vs a survival horror game-style physical incarnation of your greatest fear. You are permitted any generic survival horror protagonist weapons of your choice (steel pipe, pistol, shotgun, etc.)
>>469
My greatest fear as an aging autist and wizard is sex with a woman. Since a twisted incarnation of a naked human female shouldnft be that hard to kill, Ifd win pretty easily. I guess Ifd pick the most proportionate weapon: the rock drill from Silent Hill. We all know how those disturbingly erotic nurses can be bullet sponges on the highest difficulty level, but they are easily turned to mince meat by the rock drill. Since the quickest way to kill someone is the most humane, the rock drill is the most merciful way to dispatch the succubus.
>>471
Tsunami vs a sea of lava erupting from a mega volcano
Dio Brando might be formidable and named after GOD a but even he has to sleep. Homura Akemi has the opportunity to kill him in a nightmare, which movies have taught me lead to death irl.
>>473
A hipster vegan California valley girl vs the gluten demon
>>473
According to https://pvpoke.com/battle/1500/ho_oh/moltres/11/17-1-2/1-5-1/,
>Ho-Oh loses in 42.5s with a battle rating of 196
>6 turns of difference can flip this scenario. It is somewhat vulnerable to energy, IV, or lag factors.
>>475
Guy who can only speak in timecube.com quotes vs guy who can only speak in gay porn quotes. Public debate about the morality of pissing in public swimming pools.
>>474
Gay porn quotes guy wins by virtue of being the only one who can stay on topic. "Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed" might not be a particularly compelling argument, but it's better than incoherent and vaguely derisive rambling about God and geometry.
>>476
Meat Boy (Super Meat Boy) vs Isaac (The Binding of Isaac).
>>479
It doesn't count as winning if your opponent is too depressed to get out of bed and show up at the fight location. Given his obesity, I doubt Strong Sad could stomach Salad Fingers anyway. He gives up without even touching his plate.
>>481
Kitchen staff of The Rei's Diner vs McDonalds kitchen staff
>>483
Sisyphus is likely swole as shit from pushing a boulder for all eternity, while Prometheus is chained to a rock and gets bullied by an eagle. I think Sisyphus wins this round.
Noa Izumi and Alphonse (Patlabor) vs. Leona Ozaki and Bonaparte (Dominion Tank Police)
>>491
Given enough time, the serene waves will erode the mountain into a cliff face. But to everybody's surprise the mountain turns out to be an active volcano capable of rebuilding itself with lava and tephra. Its a race to see which dies first. Will the lake waters dry up before the mountain goes extinct? Will the volcano go dormant and be slowly whittled away by the water? Since no one can possibly confirm the outcome of what would be the longest battle ever, the officials are calling it a stalemate.
>>493
Space Battleship Yamato vs the Death Star
>>493
In terms of raw physical attributes, Solid Snake has the edge. Despite being in his late 40s or early 50s in recent games, he maintains an athletic physique and impressive physical conditioning from years of special forces training. Sam Fisher is also in excellent shape for his age, which is late 40s-early 50s as well, but Snake canonically possesses greater strength, stamina, and hand-to-hand combat prowess. Both are exceptional marksmen with a wide variety of firearms, but Snake has engaged in direct firefights more often throughout his career.
However, Sam Fisher's forte is stealth and subterfuge. He is a master of infiltration, covert movement, and gathering intel without being detected. Thanks to his background in Third Echelon's research and development of new stealth technologies, Fisher has access to spy gear beyond what is ordinarily available like vision augmentation, non-lethal weaponry, and sophisticated communications equipment. He is incredibly difficult to detect and can neutralize threats silently from the shadows.
Solid Snake relies more on guerrilla tactics, close quarters combat training, and improvisation when stealth fails. While still highly skilled in stealth operations, direct combat is more in his wheelhouse compared to Fisher. His missions have also frequently placed him in open battle scenarios where all-out fights were inevitable. However, Snake makes up for any technological disadvantages with intense willpower, vast experience, and a tendency to turn any environment or object into a makeshift weapon.
As for skillsets, Fisher has a wide array of stealth skills like disguising, lockpicking, climbing, hacking, and linguistic abilities that allow him to seamlessly blend in anywhere. Solid Snake is savvy but less refined in impersonation and technical skills. However, he has demonstrated expertise in first aid, survival training, tracking, and is peerless at interrogating enemies for crucial intel.
Overall, if this was a direct confrontation with no preparation or intel gathering beforehand, I'd give the edge to Solid Snake. His all-around soldier abilities, years of facing impossible odds, and tendency to improvise brilliant plans on the fly would serve him well against Fisher's stealth-oriented tactics. However, if Fisher was given time to plan an ambush using the full arsenal of his spy technologies and infiltration talents, he could certainly find a way to defeat even the legendary Solid Snake while avoiding detection. It would be an epic clash between two legendary soldiers of espionage, but Snake's experience with reactive, fluid combat scenarios makes him a bit tougher in a straight fight. There's also the fact that much more crazy shit happens in Metal Gear and Solid Snake has defeated adversaries with semi-supernatural abilities.
>>495
The old coots who comment on The Register vs. The crazy people posting on the Phoronix forums
>>496
Gotta go with Godzilla. Assuming no crazy hijinks from the EVA suit like doing that apotheosis shit that shifts reality. Assuming it's just a semi-conscious mecha vs kaiju I would say that it'd end up with Shinji and Godzilla teaming up to beat Destoroyah. EVA suits themselves can get blown up and die, and since big G can take out shit like mechagodzilla it doesn't seem the primary threat.
So Godzilla vs Destoroyah will probably end with godzilla just barely winning with help.
>>498
The God Emperor from 40k vs The God Emperor from Dune.
>>503
Highly dependent on the circumstances. If I can arm myself and confront the sluggish dragon as it digests a fresh kill, I think I've got a decent chance. If we're both dropped into a sand pit in prime condition to wrestle it out bare-handed (or bare-clawed in the dragon's case), I'm getting gruesomely torn to chunks.
In the absence of any information about the match, I will not wager money on my own survival.
>>504
Friend (20th Century Boys) vs every Kemono Friend (Kemono Friends)
>>504 The Instagram model can summon thousands of South Asian men to defend her, while the Tiktok influencer can summon an army of millions of children. Based upon grip strength studies, the Instagram model's army is unfortunately not likely very strong, and the Tiktok influencer's army could overpower them by numbers. The Youtuber has a strong counter to the child army with his special skill: ua sv, which can instandly groom any opponent under age 18, turning them into thralls, with a number of uses and frequency of use determined by his subscriber count. This is, potentially countered by the Wikipedia editor's contacts in the US State Department, though he more typically is bound by their commands than able to summon them, and if the Youtuber happens to be supplying the Global Elites with members of the child army he's used his skill on, then he'll have protection that the Wikipedia editor just can't break through. Overall, I think it's a tossup between the Youtuber and the Tiktok influencer, primarily determined by whether the Algorithm chooses to screw either of them over.
>>506 A team of transgender programmers leading an army of Twitch politics/debate streamer viewers versus a small, elite cadre of gay nazi bodybuilder Twitter users leading an army of angry and confused Qanon-obsessed boomers.
>>505
The transgender programmers, some of which have expanded past self-administering hormones into bulking up with steroids, are a shockingly even match for the gay nazi bodybuilders, several of whom turn out to actually be obese basement-dwelling grifters from Malaysia merely pretending to be gay nazi bodybuilders.
Their ultimate victory is secured by the Twitch streamer viewers. Although not particularly strong on average, and perhaps less eager to fight and kill, the streamers are far younger and healthier than the Qanon-obsessed boomers. Many of the boomers fall victim to complications of diabetes, lung disease and simply being old and decrepit as the battle rages on, allowing the younger generations to clinch the win.
>>507
Pancakes vs. waffles.