Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

I am a super-genius hacker that can make computers do things that most scientists would deem impossible, or at least of supernatural origin. To get my kicks, I seek out gullible people and make them lose their documents, or make valid email addresses wrong so they return to the sender, or make Explorer freeze, or make Napster lose its connection, or make their printer jam. Every once in a while, when I'm sure no-one will be there to believe them, I make satanic messages pop up.

I know how to do it. I'm a genius.

I am a real person, and while I could be using this ungodly talent to make the big bucks, I devote enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering these people.

>>239
Much more justified than >>235.

FLY AWAY IN MY SPACE ROCKET
YOU NO NEED PUT MONEY IN MY POCKET

Everything I touch turns to crap.

I throw quarters at stop signs.

I had an Iranian professor who’d always begin lectures with a phrase like “Hello everyone”, and every time, I couldn’t help but think of Clonepa.

Out of all the characters on Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, I always identified with the bear. He's just... there. It's almost like he runs the place, but nobody questions him. He should be questioned, but one look 't 'is face and you can't help but return the dumb, dopey smile.

I thought the "Post your current thought" thread was actually a confessional thread.

I'm 46 goddamn years old and still found Grandpa's interrupting burps hilarious.

sometimes when i unzip my pants to pee i'm not careful enough to watch what i'm doing so i end up peeing a bit on the corner side opposite the button but i just dry it off with some tp and it's good as new

I am Fujiwara No Mokou

I had to reread Grandpa's burps after reading >>247 in order to get the joke. But I am especially tired today!

I have an obsession with delicate, girly guys.

I'm a delicate, girly guy trying to bulk up.

i still think all your base is hilarious

I cannot play FPS games, because I empathize with the enemies, and I feel horribly guilty when I kill them.

I hate my life and I want to fly down a well.

I'm almost 23 and have never held a job.

>>256 said most of what I could say about myself, and so I have little else to say

i'd hit >>252 as long as he's girly enough.

I've never had a job, because I've never wanted one.

I never wipe myself after shower.

I've never had a job, because I'm too shy.

i don't really 'shower'. i turn on the shower, get in, and kind of lazily rotate in a circle for ten minutes.

Yesterday I played UBW's H-scene and laughed hysterically at the words 'boiling meat'.

Right now, there is a girl (that I am hanging out with) next to me. I am posting rather than talking to her.

I really want to post in this thread. But I have nothing to say. Not only that, but somebody already confessed something exactly like this.

I'm about to masturbate, probably to hentai.

I masturbate before I have sex so my girlfriend thinks I have erectile dysfunction.

I post about my "girlfriend" to make my fellow NEETs feel like shit

I prefer not to use the toilet seat. Until last year I didn't use it at all.

Women only like me for my body.

I wanna play until I die, I wanna lose my reasons why.

Joking aside, I see bullet patterns when I close my eyes.

I'm in love with the representation of Ayanami Rei seen in "The Rei's Diner" threads.

I know she isn't real. She's not even the product of a single individual's imagination; she's the collective creation of a hundred (ok, that's a bit generous) bored BBS browsers, making variations on a specified template. Yet, I just can't help but feel attracted to her. That dry wit, that saucy apathy, that calm, collected personality - it drives me crazy!

Where the hell can I meet a girl like that? Where can I find a girl like The Rei?

Dude, it's not like she'd ever put out.

>>274

I don't care, as long as she can hold a decent conversation.

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　−! i　Sorry, we ran out of spare Reis.
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 　
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　THE REI'S DINER　　　　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

You!
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

>>276

I don't want a replacement. All I need is you, baby.

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　−! i　Sorry, we ran out of patience for invisible idiots who
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 　CONVENIENTLY FORGET ABOUT THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　THE REI'S DINER　　　　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

>>279

Never change.

　　　へ-ﾍ
　　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ She hasn't changed since 1996, nya~
　〜(,_ｕｕﾉ

>>281

But that's three years from now!
What are you trying to say?

>>282

Stop thinking of time as a linear construct.

I think of time as a linear construct instead of feeling, and now I will was tanasinn.

>>155
I had to write a paper on an online concert for my Music Appreciation course and chose a Morning Musume concert.

I slashed my wrist to get the day off work.

I was fone...

All these Yoshinoya posts make me want to try a beef bowl, but I’m not so sure I’d actually like it.

I like to watch my own posts.

I roam the Forbidden Garden and silently sympathize with the last poster of each thread there.

>>256 here

I'm 23 now, I still don't have a job, and am now wishing suffering upon the world and becoming really strangely religious.

I don't like porn.

all alone for saturday night (as usual)

I'd be a hikikomori if I didn't have to work.

I'd work if I didn't have to be an hikikomori.

I have failed every course of college I ever tried, but am too afraid of rejection to try and get a job instead. So I mooch off my parents and wallow in self-pity instead.

I stopped coming to DQN as often in favor of SAoVQ but I post just as infrequently there as I did here.

I like to crossdress.

I can't make rice properly.

I can make rice properly, but I like white rice and my mom always buys this shit with weird legumes and stuff in it because it’s “good for you” but she makes me eat the most of it.

Yes, somehow I still live with my parents, too. I’m nigh on 23 and have been unsuccessful on the job hunt since I was 16. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? sigh

My Steam password is more complex than my Windows logon.

>>302 I think I installed Steam at the same time you posted that.

I started playing Portal on my MacBook Pro

My MacBook has neither the disk space nor the graphical power for Portal, and I’m dirt poor so I can’t afford most of the other games... yet I downloaded Steam for Mac just in case and got my free copy of Portal anyway.

>>299
I sometimes think about cross-dressing but I never do it.

>>297
Fear of rejection from jobs? Really?

Loads of people get turned down for every job, it's not that big a deal. It's very unpersonal, too.

Hi DQN I'm drunk again

>>305
most DQNs couldn't get a job if they were a man with a 15 inch dong at a pornographers' convention

I'm not into anime.

I only like anime when it's cute and romantic. I'm pretty macho otherwise though.

Up until just last year, the only game console I had was an old 8-bit NES, and a NES-on-a-chip Yobo FC Console.

I read everything with 20-pt fonts.

>>310

More like AWESOME confession.

I have whistled the tune to "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" as a passive-aggressive insult.

I have a boner.

I have fantasies of being accepted and loved unconditionally.

>>315
Is your name Shinji?

I can't figure out what I want to do with my life. Since nobody wil pay me for playing the odd video game and browsing the Internet, chances are slim that I will ever find a job I truly enjoy. This thought terrifies me.

>>317
THIS

>>317

With this economy, chances re slim that you'll even find a job.

http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/629954 made me cry.

>>320 made me cry when I met him

Sometimes, instead of just using Ctrl+C to copy, I Ctrl+X then immediately Ctrl+V afterward, before continuing to paste whatever I needed to paste. Eh, the end result is the same.

>>322
omigod ME TOO!!
(Reading that gave me much shawxment)

I frowned when I read how inefficient is >>322's way to copy and paste. That kind of stuff just pisses me off.

I dislike touhou

I have never played touhou.

If there really was an "Everybody Loves Clonepa" show, I'd watch it religiously.

I don't find computers interesting anymore.

I'm not actually very good at anything.

I leave the television on as I browse the internet so I can hear human voices and be ever-so-slightly less lonely.

I often forget if I posted in a thread before or not. I also often read a post and think that I might have posted that, but wasn't sure. Furthermore, I think I've replied to myself without realizing it once or twice.

>>332
I'm sure I've already read a post identical to this one, but can't remember where...

>>333 me too.

I often feel childish wonder and amazement at the most simple things, like the Moon, the wind, falling leaves or that anything exists at all.

>>335 That's not a lame confession, that's a desirable way to live! I'd say you're experiencing life on a better plane than most!

>>335

I kinda know where you're coming from, and I think it's cool. I don't feel wonder or amazement at those kinda things, but I do take time out to absorb the details and feel some sense of satisfaction and happiness from them.

Like today I was walking back from work all pissed-off at my co-workers when I saw a bird attempt to fly towards the raging wind, only to slowly turn itself sideways and then glide gracefully a little before doing a loop-the-loop and flying off.

All my anger was gone and I grinned the rest of the way.

>>337 I was once walking back from work all pissed-off at my co-workers when I passed two French gentlemen in the street outside my flat, I just caught a snippet of their conversation, one of them simply said "I like it!" with his French accent, and my mind flooded with his lifestory, that he had been struggling back home in France so he came to Scotland, a big move, no friends or family here, just to make a fresh start, and he has found a friend now, and also something he enjoys. He was smiling. And so was I!

I obsess far too much over trivial things, too much to enjoy trivial things.

I released the emergency mittens for no real reason.