ITT we find flaws in a perfect world [Part II] (343)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 16:03

( ) A world without uncalled-for sequels!

Original Thread: http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1226341745/

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 16:17

( -) DQN would be quieter.

( ) A world without that He-Man guy!

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 16:18

( -) We wouldn't know what wacky hijinks Grandpa and Junior were up to this time.

( ) A world where the Grandpa threads were TV shows!

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 16:19

( -) oops. too slow

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 17:17

( -) TV would be declared illegal in some countries.

( ) A world with giant trampolines everywhere :3

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5824 21:00

( -) That'd be pretty hard on the elderly.

( ) A world where all decisions are made depending on how much they affect old people!

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5825 01:19

( -) Technically, most decisions are made in this world for a select few old people.

( ) A world where DQN was a 24/7 cable channel available from your cable television service provider of choice!

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5825 12:03

( -) Nobody would visit the actual DQN because they'd be too busy watching it on TV.

( ) A world where all of DQN meets IRL in one place!

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5825 12:57

( -) heh man would be there.

( ) A DQN with no name or tripcode functionality!

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5825 13:43

( -) MODD would still manage to use it somehow.

( ) My pants!

11 Name: MODD!5JrU4QOlH6 : 1993-09-5825 20:48

( -) FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY

( ) A world where everyone respected and embraced authority!

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 01:14

( -) Authority would get sick of being hugged constantly.

( ) A world with animated shirts!

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 10:51

( -) Anime would look horribly distorted on an eatbeast's meaty midsection.

( ) A world where you could put your brain on autopilot whenever you need to do something boring!

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 11:31

( -) You would have to trust the auto-pilot to return control to you when the boring task was completed and according to basic chaos theory it would choose not to, causing you to miss out on many a mitten wearing.

( ) A world created by Masaaki Yuasa!

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 11:59

( -) I'm not that interested in looking up who she is.

( ) A world where Title was worldwide No. 1 in the charts!

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 13:06

( -) Only in the past tense.

( ) A world where Title is worldwide No. 1 in the charts pretty often but not all the time so we donft get sick of it!

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 13:39

( -) Other musicians would still be jealous of how much money Title earns

( ) A world created by Naoko Takeuchi!

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 14:44

( -) The girls that are not having sex with you would just be a lot hotter.

( ) A world where you IRL penis grew in relation to your e-peen! And where more people knew who Masaaki Yuasa is!

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 15:23

( -) Quite frankly, all the dragging on the floor would get very dangerous, very fast.

( ) A world where everyone had nice tits!

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5826 19:18

( -) There would still exist a continuum between 'just nice' and 'spectacular'. And looking directly at them in any situation still makes you a creep.

( ) A world tit-gazing was as socially acceptable as bird-watching! (Hard Mode: No puns on the word 'tit')

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5829 18:00

( -) bird-watching is a bit like trainspotting for nature-lovers. Tit-gazers would still be dweebs.

( ) A world drawn by Milo Manara!

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5829 20:34

( -) I'm not that interested in looking up who she is.

( ) A world where love is an easy game to play!

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5829 20:42

( -) Hardcore gamers would pass it off as casual and ignore it.

( ) A world where people aren't too lazy to just open a tab and search Wikipedia for something they don't know!

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 00:58

( -) ...I only ask people questions 'cause I wanna talk to them. Without questions I have nothing to say and I'll never make friends.

( ) A world where everyone is as smart and elitist as me~! If I am not considered very smart or elitist, then a world where everyone is very smart and elitist!

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 05:28

( -) A world full of Reifs Diners. Nobody would eat. EVER.

( ) ...

( ) A world full of Reifs Diners!

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 07:46

( -) Sorry, we're out of those.

( ) A world with a big, beautiful ring! Like Saturn!

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 17:06

( -) Falling orbital debris. I hope your insurance covers that.

( ) A world where all guns were replaced with walkie-talkies!

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 21:03

( -) People shoting: "ratta-tatta-tatta! ratta-tatta-tatta! pew pew pew!" over the airwaves. All day.

( ) A world where lovemaking was reduced to sneakily stealing someone's DNA, having a mindless clone made, and raping the hell out of it! Of course, the current and standard would also apply, but there would be that second option for the criminally ugly.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 21:57

(KtK)

( ) A world where Mom would let me out of the basement!

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5830 23:10

( -) You will get sunburned easily and then you will die of cancer.

( ) A world where everybody can set their own atmospheric conditions and have their own ecosystems!

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5836 09:49

( -) Imagine what it would be like near people who go out without deodorant.

( ) A world where everybody was aware of the olfactory assault they subject those around them to.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5836 17:30

( -) We'd all go insane.

( ) A world where Rei's was never out of stock!

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5837 02:25

( -) Infinity times zero is still zero

( ) A world where people can go to Yoshinoya without being interrogated for roughly 1 hour.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5837 05:14

( -) You still wouldn't be able to enjoy the way the veterans eat, and you could start a fight with someone on the opposite side of the U-shaped table.

( ) A world where women and children didn't have to screw off and go home from Yoshinoya!

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5853 21:31

( -) Violent men would then have to take over Anna Miller's or MOC Burger

( ) A world where ink never dries inside of a pen, and once something is written, the ink dries instantaneously!

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5854 20:34

( -) The quantum state of ink being both dry and not dry at the same time when it gets out of the pen but does not write anything would make laundry quite difficult when the pen explodes in your shirt pocket.

( ) A world where the layman actually understood quantum mechanics and didn't just use it for lame jokes or to make himself seems more educated and wiser than he actually is!

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5856 20:15

( -) gb2vulcan

( ) a world where the universal way to say hello is a swift kick in the crotch!

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5856 21:18

( -) Do you realize just how tiresome it would be to address an audience?

( ) A world where all crotches had a protective layer of chitin armor!

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5857 03:49

( -) Another reason why girls say they don't want to have sex: it fucking hurts!

( ) A world with nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too!

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5857 09:35

( -) You know, that song's all about communism.

( ) A world where everyone is armed and dangerous, and the more people you kill the better your afterlife is, so it's a big worldwide deathmatch where no one is safe anywhere!

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5857 20:28

( -) The end result is a world with Mr. Rogers as the last man alive.

( ) A world where we communicated with mittens!

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5857 23:06

( -) This world would be too perfect, so its population would die due to overcommunication.

( ) A world where you and me would be the happiest persons!

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5858 00:28

( -) seeing sad people reduces my happiness.

( ) A world with unlimited computing power!

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5880 21:34

( -) As usual, software wouldn't catch up with hardware.
( ) A world where Mona is the standard font for essays!

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5983 04:23

( -) You'd probably have to use a size where it'll look like shit.
( ) A world where fire doesn't burn!

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5983 06:55

( -) Committing arson against rival mitten manufacturers will be that much harder.

( ) A world without Gurochan!

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5983 23:36

( -) But guro is as funny as it is disturbing.

( ) A world without fchan

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5983 23:45

( -) People will go outside with their fur suits, searching for other people wearing fur suits, and everyone will see them.

( ) A world without BBW-chan!

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5984 00:03

( -) At some point, we would start running out of chans to look down on, because they'd alllll filter down here.

( ) A world of ORIGINAL CONTENT!

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5984 00:42

( -) We would all become very lonely with no memes to congregate a social group around, and thus be reduced to holding constant pissing contests.

( ) A world where coffee was as available as water!

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5984 21:04

( -) Turns out caffeinating the oceans isn't good for maritime wildlife.

( ) A world where happiness never loses its mittens!

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5984 21:45

( -) For each new case of happiness another pair of everlasting mittens appears until we all end up suffocating in the pillowy mass.

( ) A world without silly laws that prohibit things which merely offend certain insignificant sensibilities!

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5985 08:14

( -) The world would be polluted with mittens.

( ) A world where Coca-Cola Classic was free~

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5985 23:19

( -) You would just grow sick of it.

( ) A world where you can pursue your dream (and mittens!)

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5986 01:30

( -) I would just grow sick of it.

( ) A world where it only took one to tango, and you could tango in the privacy of your own room!

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5986 02:05

( -) Pepsi is better.

( ) A world where there was only a single brand of cola!

vc: bouzz which sounds like booze which is semi-related.

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5986 04:13

( -) 01:30. 02:05. kopipe is not that hard.

( ) A world where a brave prince went to Wapan and fought the Ameritanians to save the Ameritanians from the Ameritanians!

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5986 13:18

( -) Turns out, the brave prince just wanted to conquer the Ameritanians himself.

( ) A world where there was a KFC on every street corner!

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5987 13:58

( -) I get the feeling that you were trying to lure me into making a racist joke there...

( ) A world where 30 minutes of dancing would have the same effect on you as 7 hours of sleep!

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5987 20:36

( -) A world where dancing would put you out of commission for six and a half hours when you're done.

( ) A world where everyone deliberately misinterprets what you say to make you sound like a totally incoherent moron!

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5987 20:59

( -) Pompous blowhards will be even more pompous and blowhardy.

( ) A world where everybody was hot just like in my Japanese animes!

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5987 23:51

( -) Everyone would be struck by insecurity anyways

( ) A world that didn't look down on catalog sold wives!

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5988 00:13

( -) God, would it kill you to just wait till the year 2000 when we all finally have strong AI robots?

( ) A world where turkish coffee is the normal way to drink coffee!

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5988 17:00

( -) Grit in your mouth. All day. Forever.

( ) A world where there was no scarcity AND everyone was cool about it!!

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5988 18:53

(ิ_ิ)-̾ This is but one possible "Heaven" espoused in the usual monotheistic theologies. It'd actually be an excellent place, with plenty of time for musing and essentially no ennui, but we'd also all be dead.

( ) A flat earth!

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5988 19:33

( -) I'd probably fall off the edge.

( ) A world where slightly more people had pet kittens.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5988 21:25

( -) I'm allergic.

( ) A world where all bad posts were detected and converted into good posts!

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5989 00:12

( -) No lesser degrees of quality to judge our current posts by would encourage zero improvement: we'd devolve.

( ) A world without those uptight VIPPERs!

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5989 21:46

( -) Daddycool would have to find some other means of employment. I shudder to imagine the day he gets to be a news anchor or something.

( ) A world where people existed who had the talent to play http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSU_h3ODWUQ live!

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5990 19:41

( -) Everybody would have ten arms.

( ) A world where people's butts turned bright red when they were sexually aroused!

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5991 13:12

( -) If your pants were loose, then people would be able to figure out your secret fetishes.

( ) A world where the day was 25 hours long instead of 24, so you got an extra hour of sleep each day.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5991 19:12

( -) An evil boss would force you to work the 25th hour during crunch time.

( ) Metric time!

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5991 21:34

Á@́܁R
@i @@( @EցEj@Everyone knows the metric system is an evil commie plot.
@@[ i

( ) A world where everyone had free insanely fast broadband!

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5991 23:54

( -) Meatspin at the speed of light would bring new meaning to "insanely fast."

( ) A world in which this board was just slightly funnier and more original!

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5992 04:20

( -) But then >>74 would never be allowed to post on here. HEY-YOOOOO.

( ) A world in which this board had new members, except they didn't come from 4chan or youtube or somethingawful or Sankaku Complex or...

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5992 04:43

( -) They'd come from SAoVQ and we'd be beat for originality.

( ) A world where an evil mirror image of our own world orbited above as a grim reminder of the double-edged sword of our own souls!

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5992 05:25

( -) What's keeping them from invading, again?

( ) All books were free, and yet the authors still made money!

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5992 05:39

( -) What's keeping shitty authors from becoming rich, again?

( ) A world where Edward Scissorhands was your big brother!

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5992 13:05

( -) My big brother molested me, and it would have hurt a lot more if he had scissorhands.

( ) A world where children didn't get molested!

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5995 02:58

( -) Certain Bible-types would get away with other horrible things they do to children

( ) A world where false positive versus true negative arguments don't exist!

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5998 14:32

( -) What is this I don't even

( ) A world where there were more jobs that required no learned skills.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5998 21:02

(-߁܂ But then nobody would want to learn skills.

(߃߁܂ A world of bittan bittan!

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5999 05:18

( -) Thanks to you I just watched a video of two chibi boys flopping like fish. AGAIN.

( ) A world where no-one doubts the power and motivations of the Elitist Superstructure!

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6001 01:59

( -) Attempts to overthrow the elitist superstructure are humorous to watch.

( ) A world where alcohol never causes liver disease!

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6002 21:24

( -) We'd have cops check for increased levels of blood in the human alcohol system.

( ) A world where bubbles never pop!

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6002 21:37

( -) We'd have to be really, really careful not to end up inside one....

( ) A world where we could actually reward those who work hard to some good end without making the entire system bankrupt!

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 18:16

( -) While 'hard work' (being the application of intense or persistent effort to a job or task) is admirable, it's important to note that due to the disparate skill sets and mental/physical capabilities of each individual man or woman, there's no guarantee the resulting product or service will be of any desirable quality or quantity. As well, this proposed world may suffer from an inverted income disparity; a mentally feeble person may become wealthy for factory work, whereas the naturally-adept ubermencsh has trouble paying his mortgage because, for him, nothing is challenging enough to constitute hard work.

( ) A world where Billy Mumy could turn you into a jack-in-the-box for thinking bad thoughts!

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6006 18:11

( -) Everyone will think bad thought, leading to an overabundance of jacks in the box, and no hands to turn the cranks.

( ) A world where we drink pee and pee water!

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6008 17:56

( -) We'd all smell like piss.

( ) Eternal spring!

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6008 19:05

( -) That would be a world without mittens and sad girls in the snow.

( ) No hell below us, above us only sky!

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6009 18:35

( -) Hell is other people

( ) All cats are loyal servants, and great chefs to boot!

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6009 22:32

@@@-
@@ *LMЁ@Loyal or not, we'll always be snarky assholes, nya~
@`(,_

( ) A world where I can have Teh Rei all to myself!

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6010 03:12

@@@-]]- A
^@@@@@R
!@ !@l|,.il_Ɂj
i @-]@|! i@I'm fucking Squeeks anyway.
_R .U@- Ƀm @
@@MMt@iL
@ @ / _ɁT
@@/__i |!|
„„========
==@@@TEH REIS CHEATING@==

( ) A world where infidelity didn't exist!

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6010 04:15

( -) But neither does love

( ) Pillow fights around every corner!

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 22:02

( -) record breaking number of deaths by down allergy sufferers

( ) No allergies ever!

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 22:07

( -) Well...

( -) That would....

( -) Allergy medicine companies would...

( -) Yeah, I got nothing.

( ) A world were every child got a puppy or kitten for their 6th birthday!

97 Name: ( ߃) : 1993-09-6014 03:56

( -) Overpopulating the pet community leads to death and despair among both cat and dogkind.

( ) A world flooded with playroom balls!

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6014 04:11

( -) I was forwarded an email the other day that said those places were full of heroin needles, and snakes, and pedophile clowns!

( ) A world where everyone is a clown!

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6014 07:42

( -) I mistake an androgynous gay boy for a cute girl and receive a handful of boner.

( ) A world where there existed NxNxN Rubik's cubes for arbitrarily large N!

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6014 21:22

( E-E) Dude, you know nobody will get that and that means you're gonna have to doublepost. And being the asshole you are, you actually want that to happen.

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