>> Has a pocket protector made of gold
>>751 Has a huge shirt which has the instructions for loading a C64 game.
>>753 took a silkscreening class just to reproduce all of Yui's t-shirts and wear them.
>>755 submitted all the photos and screenshots of old operating systems displaying the Wikipedia home page.
>>759 documents these viruses, giving them titles and creating wiki pages for each of them, updating the version numbers regularly.
>>762 edits the creation dates and names of pictures saved down from 4chan to make them appear several years older than they actually are, just so he can show off what an oldfag he is to his tiny circle of online acquaintances.
>>763 boasts that he had made his own little chan before that horrible Trevorchan/Kusaba plague.
>>767 has been feverishly refreshing on buttchan.net in order to post "FIRST!"
>>769 reads Ars Technica articles religiously, only posting comments to complain and nitpick when he actually understands the topic, which is actually not that often.
>>772 wrote a rhyming Animaniacs fan-song to help him remember the periods of Japanese history.
>>773 posted a chiptune version of it on multiple video-sharing sites.
>>774 posted a video of himself singing the song on Youtube. IN the video he is crossplaying as Dot.
>>775 has received enough checks from Donald Knuth to live comfortably for a year.
>>776 Could not be changed by the Please Please Please Get A Life Foundation.
Whenever >>777 doesn't post to DQN, he continues working on his plans to build a working Degenatron console with all the features advertised in GTA: Vice City. The schematics are almost complete, but hunting down the vintage 1986 breadboards is proving difficult.
The moment a new hit song comes out, >>780 covers it with Mario Paint Composer.
The interior of >>782's home is only accessible through a large, green, stylized pipe.
>>783 Is an action and spy movie nerd that has a fancy biometric lock on his front door. The sewer underneath his house has numerous death traps because in action movies, secretly entering a building through the sewer is a common plot in action movies. His air condition ducts are filled with Van Der Graff generators to zap intruders and sanitize air at the same time.
>>789 Made a fortune by making fake Weird Al signed memorabilia.
>>792 Likes Dragon Ball Z and South Park equally, so he will take a crap that is over 9000 Courics
>>793 wrote a long, scathing email to Squeeks admonishing him for allowing the "ITT The Previous Poster is Socially Awkward" thread to stay up when its content overlaps almost entirely with this thread.
>>795 likes to wait 85 seconds for the captcha to refresh instead of 60 because he thinks an aged captcha is better than a new cheap one.
>>795 also waits for 85 seconds between posts without refreshing captcha, so that his captcha is vintage.
>>796 was one of the first hellbans on Something Awful. To this day, he still doesn't realize it.
>>799 openly sneered about not getting 800get, but secretly was disappointed.
>>802 is a world champion of the Unicycle Jousting Tournament.
>>804 became interested in unicycle jousting and is looking for the best unicycle available on the mass market.
>>807 imports bad (yet highly expensive) Japanese Techno CD's just to complain about them on his blog.
Screams, "THE WHEEL OF FAT IS TURNING" every time he starts something.
>>810 Dropkicked the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite facepaint Left Bank Kenneth Emma R-A-D-A Rainer Werner - Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads
>>811 bought the most expensive air brush to colour his favourite figurine.
>>812 keeps an entire copy of the Common Lisp HyperSpec in his mind and has dedicated content-addressable neural networks for quick access to it.
"I've always wanted to have all my holes filled with dozens of ochinchins"
->>815>>817 uses a Steel Battalion controller to drive a Roomba around while making Gundam noises.
>>820 Is the world's biggest Brony, that was determined by the value of all his My Little Pony collectibles
>>821 started collecting My Little Pony, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, and Jem merchandise years ago, hedging his bets that one of them would eventually get rebooted and become insanely popular.
>>822 Made an independent film that glorified the '80s My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, and Care Bears and bashed the reboot versions that came decades later in such a snobby way, that the N.Y. Times hired him to be a film critic.
>>822 is working on a roguelike where you're not War but rather Pestilence. Also, they're all ponies.
And when >>825 had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
And I looked, and beheld a pale pony: and his name that sat on him was Death, and awkward, thread-ending posts followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the Internets, to kill with sarcasm, and with stale copypasta, and with overused memes, and with the lolcats of the earth.
>826 eats ramen every meal not because he likes it or can't afford food, but because he is under the mistaken impression that all ramen is made by a company that trademarked the recipe for ramen, and they advertise in every anime and manga. That's why he has all the packages in his room, they are collectors' items, not trash. He bought the '76 Top Ramen Limited Winter Edition shrimp/chicken gift pack from before they changed the package design off ebay as an investment in order to secure the funds to purchase a genuine '32 Daimyo stainless steel diesel-powered noodle maker of the factory design.
>>827 authors Youtube poops of obscure cartoon shows from his childhood.
>>828 created a moe anthropomorphization of Moe Anthropomorphism itself.
The national guard has been called in, but they're mainly there to aid the evacuation effort.
>>829 changed his name to Moe Anthropomorphization, and is trying to talk his girlfriend into changing her name to Tsundere.
>>830 collects the fart gas from his fat ass for experimental homemade bomb construction.
>>831 is making a life-size replica of that japanese town used for background images in Lucky Star with only bricks made from his shit.
>>833 drinks alcohol-free beer in hopes to become more mature.
>>835 finds it difficult to partake in his favorite alcoholic concoctions without donning steampunk garb.
>>838 has spent many a bored night spamming his group's Ventrilo channel with various such absurd things.
>>839 invented Ventrilo harassment, and still wears a ratty old Duke Nukem t-shirt that says "I've got balls of steel."
>>840 Wears a mask that has a perfect ahegao facial expression on it.
>>842 always begins his phrases with "sudo", because he wants to sound important.
>>844 wears a t-shirt that says "Linux is for people who hate Bill Gates. FreeBSD is for people who love UNIX."
>>845 Every time NASA finds another planet that resembles Earth, he shoots it with his Genesis Device. One time he accidentally pulled the trigger twice, destroying a great civilization.
>>846 misread "Tandy corp." as "Tsundere" and has spent the last thirty-three years trying to melt the ice around his computer's heart.