I demand that >>3 will sage this thread and impose this same demand upon the next poster, desu.
I demand that >>4 will sage this thread if he really feels like it, and also that there be less metagaming involved in his demand.
I shall do that for you! I demand that >>7 wakes me up earlier in the morning.
( ・-・) I don't feel like participating in this thread.
I demand that >>8 will pretend to be a stereotypical jewish person.
Yom kippur bitches! I demand that >>9 will NOT bring up the holocaust.
How tasteless. I demand that >>11 obey the proper numbering scheme forthwith, and also that he or she surrender their personal warehouse of fish food in exchange for my corrective service.
I demand that >>12 fight to the death with several rabid lions for the glory of the motherland.
In the spirit of ignoring demands, I demand that >>15 goes public and spits upwards then swallows for 15 times!
aww curse you >>14-san!!! for last-minute post now I have to go public and do this ridiculous thing myself!
♥／l
（ﾟ､ ｡ 7 I ate all the fish food, nyan
l、 ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
I demand that >>21's post contains exactly fourteen words, of which at least one is "forego".
I mustn't mention choco-dials, you say? Well, that's fine by me. Oh, whoops.
>>26, go jump off a bridge.
Oh, dear. I demand >>28 take the two nearest items to his left and right then rub them together as if mating their inanimate essences.
unfortunately, the item to my right is a desk, and the item to my left is a television. I'll have to just pretend to rub them together, since I can lift neither.
>>29 I demand you share the secrets of time travel
It's quite simple, really. Build a microwave, attach a cellphone to it and voila.
>>30
I demand that you post your height (In centimeters because I don't understand that inches nonsense).
Something like 172cm probably
>>31 I demand that you post your weight in Stone
(o_o)
Ass-ass-ination complete. Now proceeding to forcibly inquire about how >>34 lost his sanity.
Well, >>34, there's lots of trees. Most of them are pine trees, I suppose, but some might be other kinds. I can see a bit of the sky, but that's mostly blocked by the tall, green trees. I can also see a bit of my porch, and there's a hanging flower-pot there. It's not a very impressive view, >>34, I don't know why you were so interested in it.
>>36, I demand that you make your post entirely in Spanish!
I'm using a laptop to post this. My PC was already unplugged because of the storm earlier (I'm afraid of it getting fried in the frequent power outages we get).
I demand >>41-san to use the word/phrase "hunky-dory" in a complete sentence.
The album Hunky Dory by David Bowie is very good.
>>42
I demand you describe your surroundings.
I demand that >>42 write a hunky-dory essay on the meaning of tanasinn.
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ
stuffed squid with rice. sugoi! my japanese waifu made it for me haha. uh no, actually my mother. grunt
I demand that >>47 finds me a waifu that loves me and that I love.
>>47
I'm not handing all my money over to somebody who talks to themselves about masturbating.
>>46
To answer your request, how about Youmu Konpaku? She's a half-human, half-ghost dual sword wielding gardener. Never a dull moment with her around.
>>49
I demand that you post the five most recent entries in your browser history.
4chan /b/
chacha.com
muhammad ali wallpapers
/prog/
adobe's install flash player
>>50 I demand that you grab the opportunity and have a nice GET!
A simply delightful erotic roleplay with a cute, bottomy guy.
I demand >>54 join his neighbors in selling me the rights to his land so I can build a Wal-Mart on it.
feast your eyes, fanboys!
http://4-ch.net/ascii/kareha.pl/1104150717/
I demand that >>56 shares with us the latest trend he doesn't like
And then there where none by Agatha Christie
Well, I had read it again, but I picked it up again out of boredom (I've read everything in my library anyhow). Had forgotten who was doing all the murders, and well, Agatha, you got me again (being surprised twice by the ending of a book, only Agatha!)
Yeah, Agatha is my favorite.
>>58 I demand that your post will not use the letters D,Q,N.
>>60
You think this injunction so provoking, but still omit most provisions I would push for in such sport, for you would dub this stiff phony if unkind. No prolixity minimum is compulsory, wordbooks supply synonyms, plus no topic must turn up told in conclusion. Thus I did my duty, for truly, "zviqrwtpfmx" would comply too.
>>62
You must, in your post, pick only words with glyphs you did not find in this discussion.
お安い御用です、＞＞６１様!
＞＞６３さんが、今までこのスレでは使われなかった言語で自動翻訳を使わずに書き込むが良い。
I farted in the metro today. I had eaten beans before so the fumes were top quality. The person behind me was very lucky.
>>65 You must get a new hobby!
Alright, I'm going to take up shitposting.
>>66, I demand that you fuckshit a nigger 4chan hurr penislulz autism madjellyfag cockspam!
Hehe it was already on my to do list.
>>67 tell me a joke about fonts.
Comic Sans, Arial, and Papyrus walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Get out, we don't want your type around here."
I demand >>68 speak in iambic pentameter in his reply and in at least one other post on DQN.
>>67
Though in this task some poets may delight
A poet I have never been, nor will.
A wretched author I may be to think
To speak in iambs is no easy feat.
>>69
To celebrate the nature of your GET,
Please sixty-nine with someone that you love.
If no such partner should appear tonight,
Remember this demand when you unite.
Well this is not so very bad, except
That in remembrance I will be inept
And so forget to fill the deed entire!
>>69: would it be too much to ask
that you leave behind t
Cleans up >>69's mess and eats the leftover crusts of his piece
>>73 watch this and tell me what you think of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugRS9mJAOH8
>>72
Flow of thoughts as I'm watching:
>>74 post your own new lyrics for the tune of a children's song.
Praise the apple
It doesn't randomly go kawpuut
It is juicy fruit!
Dive in
Take a bite
For an apple in the morning
Makes everything kawaii-t
Praise the apple
It doesn't randomly go kawpuut
It is juicy fruit!
Then once your apple is done
You ask >>76 where he's last gone
That was a wonderful post >>75 thank you! Last night I went to a club with some friends, usually it's a kinda neat club that plays good music but it seems Sunday nights are for top 40 doss. It was free entry and £1 drinks though. There was this girl that kept grabbing my dick when I was dancing behind her, I totally should have done something about that but I didn't because I'm staying faithful to my 300 miles away little lover.
I realised when I was in the club that not only was it the first time I was out on the town since April, but that night was the when I passed out face flat on the dance floor in the same club, because I'd been up all the night before writing my dissertation, not eating, then I was drunk and high and just dropped a bomb of mdma, and a lovely student nurse called Kim helped me out.
>>77 find my big box of painkillers for me please, and make me some sort of greasy breakfast xxx
>>76
Big box of painkillers? I assume you've checked the obvious places (bathroom cupboards, kitchen, bedroom) so just think back to where it was last time you used it.
Greasy foods are horrible first thing in the morning; are you sure you wouldn't prefer some nice oatcakes?
>>78
I demand that you post something that will mean nothing to anybody but you.
Done. I would post pics, but now whenever I try to take a picture of myself or look in a mirror I don't appear. Weird.
>>81, please single out your favorite posts in this thread.
>>80
I'm terrified somebody else will post while I'm going through and finding my favorites, but: >>2,20,21,55,60,61,68,81
>>82, I demand that you criticize my choice of favorite posts.
99% of the time rape is reprehensible. 99% of the time rape is an action so horrific it deserves universal contempt. But there are rare instances in which even the act of rape can in fact be justified. Here are four off the top of my head:
Suppose Heather has a crush on Dick, a man with suitably Freudian moniker. Heather hits on Dick, but Dick takes no notice of her. In reality, Dick wants nothing to do with Heather. Heather, after realizing this, plots revenge. She goes to a bar and lies to the tough guys there "I was raped! Dick did it!"
The mob, riled up, surrounds Dick and beats him to death, despite Dick's pleas. They leave, while Heather examines the corpse. Unbeknownst to her, a big black man was watching the entire ordeal, from the accusation to the beating.
"I saw what you did," says the black man, "and now you're gonna get what's coming to you". It would be that man's moral right to rape the living shit out of that worthless cunt.
Alternatively, suppose after the beating, Dick gets back up, but the hemmoraging in his brain leaves him only five minutes to live. Dick too would have the right to rape her within the remaining timeframe of his life. Since he was punished for a crime he didn't do, he might as well commit it.
2. As retribution for a previously committed rape.
Suppose there's this really dorky kid. Every day a hot bombshell of a babe torments him in school. Rubbing up against him, grabbig his balls and cock, saying she wants him. This drives him to the point of lustful insanity, and he wants no more of it.
The kid, eager to get revenge, enlists the help of a friend. The friend will be on the lookout, while he makes his move.
The girl comes in and starts harassing him.
"Come on baby, I want that hot cock up my pulsating pussy." she says.
"You're wish is my comand, ma'am" replies the kid, as he physically throws himself upon his assailant, assailing her in return. He presses up against her, copping a feel, rubbing. When he has satisfied himself, he stops, much to the horror of the girl.
This too is an act of justifiable rape. It is akin to a kidnapped victim strangling his kidnapper with the very ropes used to tie him up. This also happened in real life. I was the friend who did the lookout.
3. As punishment for a revealing form of dress.
Suppose there's this girl, let's call her Sarah. Sarah lives a rotten lifestyle. She swears at her parents, drinks, does drugs, goes to parties, and gets fucked up. Worst of all, she dresses like a total slut, but only lets popular guys fuck her.
One day at a party full of drugged up scumbags, she passes out on the sofa. A scumbag teenager takes advantage of her. While the act of raping her would be wrong, considering the lifestyle she leads, it would also serve as a wake up call to her as well as her getting her just deserts. Therefore, in a sense, raping her would be justified.
4. As a last recourse to save the human race from extinction.
There is a nuclear war. The survivors are divided into two groups. 10,000 men, and 10,000 nuns (alternatively, 10,000 militant man-hating lesbians). The only way to save the human race is through the act of vaginal intercourse. But there's a catch. the nuns/lesbians do not want to have sex. And they are adamant.
Therefore, to save the human race, the only viable option would be for the 10,000 men to rape the 10,000 women, preferably tying them down so that multiple children could be administered.
Though a woman's sexual and reproductive rights are sacred, they pale in comparison to the survival to the human race.
I hope you enjoyed this dissertation, and I hope it generates some intelligent, profound discussion.
>>86, write an analysis of the worst episodes of each of the five Star Trek series explaining just why each is so terrible.
>>86
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14XCse2gA-GkyDq_TwlPZ8DJivPW8Wtu4MURp8bhbxU0/edit?hl=en_US&authkey=CPSCxIgD
>>87
Write a short song about butts.
Do it yourself if you like but I will also oblige:
Bananas and apples,
A peach and a plum,
I put these things into your bum.
Let me smell,
I'm on my knees:
Spread your cheeks and blow your breeze
>>88 tell us what's so good about your favourite film.
>>88 I think you meant >>89 but anyway:
It carries multiple layers of meaning: some messages are overt, others are subtle and only crop up upon reflection or watching again. It manages to compress many truths about the human experience in a small space. The visual style is eclectic and engaging. It's both humorous and moving, juggling weighty matters like fate, agency and compassion while not taking itself too seriously on the surface.
>>89, guess what film it is.
Hahaha, and there I go making the same mistake myself.
>>91, guess what film it is!
It's Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
>>92, please enjoy any tribute to Justin Bieber on youtube, post a link and describe your own experience.
>>91
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPoGI3J3_Qc
I am intrigued... and confused. Actually yeah, mostly confused.
OH DEAR GOD WHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH
.... I was so confused I forgot to demand something.
>>94, groom your fucking dog already. I mean look at him, he looks like hell.
I know it is wrong to wreck new GM, Chrysler, and Fiat cars, but I hate corporate welfare so much, I had to do something about it.
>>96
It's kutave. I think my previous one was more interesting; it was quofation.
>>98
I demand that you choose my kanji of the day.
http://jisho.org/kanji/