Cleans up >>69's mess and eats the leftover crusts of his piece
>>73 watch this and tell me what you think of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugRS9mJAOH8
>>72
Flow of thoughts as I'm watching:
>>74 post your own new lyrics for the tune of a children's song.
Praise the apple
It doesn't randomly go kawpuut
It is juicy fruit!
Dive in
Take a bite
For an apple in the morning
Makes everything kawaii-t
Praise the apple
It doesn't randomly go kawpuut
It is juicy fruit!
Then once your apple is done
You ask >>76 where he's last gone
That was a wonderful post >>75 thank you! Last night I went to a club with some friends, usually it's a kinda neat club that plays good music but it seems Sunday nights are for top 40 doss. It was free entry and £1 drinks though. There was this girl that kept grabbing my dick when I was dancing behind her, I totally should have done something about that but I didn't because I'm staying faithful to my 300 miles away little lover.
I realised when I was in the club that not only was it the first time I was out on the town since April, but that night was the when I passed out face flat on the dance floor in the same club, because I'd been up all the night before writing my dissertation, not eating, then I was drunk and high and just dropped a bomb of mdma, and a lovely student nurse called Kim helped me out.
>>77 find my big box of painkillers for me please, and make me some sort of greasy breakfast xxx
>>76
Big box of painkillers? I assume you've checked the obvious places (bathroom cupboards, kitchen, bedroom) so just think back to where it was last time you used it.
Greasy foods are horrible first thing in the morning; are you sure you wouldn't prefer some nice oatcakes?
>>78
I demand that you post something that will mean nothing to anybody but you.
Done. I would post pics, but now whenever I try to take a picture of myself or look in a mirror I don't appear. Weird.
>>81, please single out your favorite posts in this thread.
>>80
I'm terrified somebody else will post while I'm going through and finding my favorites, but: >>2,20,21,55,60,61,68,81
>>82, I demand that you criticize my choice of favorite posts.
99% of the time rape is reprehensible. 99% of the time rape is an action so horrific it deserves universal contempt. But there are rare instances in which even the act of rape can in fact be justified. Here are four off the top of my head:
Suppose Heather has a crush on Dick, a man with suitably Freudian moniker. Heather hits on Dick, but Dick takes no notice of her. In reality, Dick wants nothing to do with Heather. Heather, after realizing this, plots revenge. She goes to a bar and lies to the tough guys there "I was raped! Dick did it!"
The mob, riled up, surrounds Dick and beats him to death, despite Dick's pleas. They leave, while Heather examines the corpse. Unbeknownst to her, a big black man was watching the entire ordeal, from the accusation to the beating.
"I saw what you did," says the black man, "and now you're gonna get what's coming to you". It would be that man's moral right to rape the living shit out of that worthless cunt.
Alternatively, suppose after the beating, Dick gets back up, but the hemmoraging in his brain leaves him only five minutes to live. Dick too would have the right to rape her within the remaining timeframe of his life. Since he was punished for a crime he didn't do, he might as well commit it.
2. As retribution for a previously committed rape.
Suppose there's this really dorky kid. Every day a hot bombshell of a babe torments him in school. Rubbing up against him, grabbig his balls and cock, saying she wants him. This drives him to the point of lustful insanity, and he wants no more of it.
The kid, eager to get revenge, enlists the help of a friend. The friend will be on the lookout, while he makes his move.
The girl comes in and starts harassing him.
"Come on baby, I want that hot cock up my pulsating pussy." she says.
"You're wish is my comand, ma'am" replies the kid, as he physically throws himself upon his assailant, assailing her in return. He presses up against her, copping a feel, rubbing. When he has satisfied himself, he stops, much to the horror of the girl.
This too is an act of justifiable rape. It is akin to a kidnapped victim strangling his kidnapper with the very ropes used to tie him up. This also happened in real life. I was the friend who did the lookout.
3. As punishment for a revealing form of dress.
Suppose there's this girl, let's call her Sarah. Sarah lives a rotten lifestyle. She swears at her parents, drinks, does drugs, goes to parties, and gets fucked up. Worst of all, she dresses like a total slut, but only lets popular guys fuck her.
One day at a party full of drugged up scumbags, she passes out on the sofa. A scumbag teenager takes advantage of her. While the act of raping her would be wrong, considering the lifestyle she leads, it would also serve as a wake up call to her as well as her getting her just deserts. Therefore, in a sense, raping her would be justified.
4. As a last recourse to save the human race from extinction.
There is a nuclear war. The survivors are divided into two groups. 10,000 men, and 10,000 nuns (alternatively, 10,000 militant man-hating lesbians). The only way to save the human race is through the act of vaginal intercourse. But there's a catch. the nuns/lesbians do not want to have sex. And they are adamant.
Therefore, to save the human race, the only viable option would be for the 10,000 men to rape the 10,000 women, preferably tying them down so that multiple children could be administered.
Though a woman's sexual and reproductive rights are sacred, they pale in comparison to the survival to the human race.
I hope you enjoyed this dissertation, and I hope it generates some intelligent, profound discussion.
>>86, write an analysis of the worst episodes of each of the five Star Trek series explaining just why each is so terrible.
>>86
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14XCse2gA-GkyDq_TwlPZ8DJivPW8Wtu4MURp8bhbxU0/edit?hl=en_US&authkey=CPSCxIgD
>>87
Write a short song about butts.
Do it yourself if you like but I will also oblige:
Bananas and apples,
A peach and a plum,
I put these things into your bum.
Let me smell,
I'm on my knees:
Spread your cheeks and blow your breeze
>>88 tell us what's so good about your favourite film.
>>88 I think you meant >>89 but anyway:
It carries multiple layers of meaning: some messages are overt, others are subtle and only crop up upon reflection or watching again. It manages to compress many truths about the human experience in a small space. The visual style is eclectic and engaging. It's both humorous and moving, juggling weighty matters like fate, agency and compassion while not taking itself too seriously on the surface.
>>89, guess what film it is.
Hahaha, and there I go making the same mistake myself.
>>91, guess what film it is!
It's Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
>>92, please enjoy any tribute to Justin Bieber on youtube, post a link and describe your own experience.
>>91
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPoGI3J3_Qc
I am intrigued... and confused. Actually yeah, mostly confused.
OH DEAR GOD WHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH
.... I was so confused I forgot to demand something.
>>94, groom your fucking dog already. I mean look at him, he looks like hell.
I know it is wrong to wreck new GM, Chrysler, and Fiat cars, but I hate corporate welfare so much, I had to do something about it.
>>96
It's kutave. I think my previous one was more interesting; it was quofation.
>>98
I demand that you choose my kanji of the day.
http://jisho.org/kanji/
According to Google Translate it says:
> Because the "Adventure Time" Korean children is much more now than when I was a kid, you can access.
> I have apple juice and remedies, is to ask for.
So yeah, >>109, get this man his apple juice and remedies!
>>112
Done.
>>114
As with >>97, choose my kanji of the day. But, y'know, actually choose one this time.
http://jisho.org/kanji/
I would but my macbook battery exploded so now i am running just off the power supply and it is magnetic so the slightest wobble out of its nest cuts all power
>>125 My tastes and desires vary but right now my favorite recipe is for a marinade for meat, prior to barbecuing it. It's a 50-50 mix of soy sauce and inexpensive red wine (use a cabernet sauvignon, please, not "Cisco Red" street-bum wine) plus a bit of olive oil, garlic, whole peppercorns, one bay leaf, and one whole dried arbol pepper.
Marinate the meat in it at least 24 hours, and 48 might be better, in a clean covered glass bowl in the refrigerator, then cook normally. Flavorful! It is a little salty, but flavorful.
I demand that >>127 barbecue something at his next reasonable opportunity. The weekend is coming, you know.
>>129 You piece of shit, what in the name of the Eastern Palace of the Earth Spirits do you think you're doing just sitting there like a man sized tower of faeces? Get me my green tea, you filthy braindead cretin!
(・∀・) Where else but Greenland!
>>131, give me the codes! Now!
>>135
I live near the border between the Netherlands and Germany on the dutch side. It's a nice place. I've been to the UK London area once for a school camping trip. It was okay. Other than that, I've had a vacation or two in Belgium and I've seen the better part of Germany.
>>137
I demand to know what you've last had for dinner.
Lord Nelson's Trousers, >>145, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic season 2 is starting in six days! ARE YOU EXCITED OR WHAT?
>>147, I heard you were going to cover Shii in butter why would you do that I heard you were gonna cover her in butter and point and say "Butter-face, butter-face, Shii is a butter-face" that is just mean she never did anything to you don't put butter all over her face no stop she isn't a butter-face, you know that right?
>>146
Are you one of those picky jerks who doesn't find butter to be sexy at all? Because butter is sexy and Shii would be totally TWICE as sexy and awesome if she were covered in butter. Also, butter tastes nice. So, it would be like, "Shii has flavur." I mean, man, come on, since then butter is used for anything mean!
>>148
Cook some eggs and describe your whole experience (including consumption of them!)
>>147
I ripped a hole in the center of a piece of bread, then put it in a pan with melted butter. I cracked an egg in the center and put the burner on low heat. After about a minute I flipped it and cooked for about another minute. The result was toast with a hard-boiled egg center. It was delicious and ridiculously easy. If I hadn't been lazy I would have put some spices in too.
>>149
Creatively compliment >>1 on making the fastest moving thread in a long time. Then to maintain balance, insult him for a reason of your choosing.
My dearest >>1, you are a scholar and a gentleman. Were I to have a garden party, you can be assured that you would receive an invitation to it. Most of my own threads have faltered around 40 posts and then sunk deep below the surface of the front page. For you to have the depth of knowledge, the understanding and the sociological experience to manufacture a thread so simple and yet so profound is truly a small miracle, and one of the pinnacles of this website as a whole.
On the other hand, the thread title does not make grammatical sense and has no tags. You cunt.
>>150
I demand that you cure cancer.
Apparently there is a cure for cancer, and it is not available because it is very cheap so not profitable compared to long term expensive treatments run by drug companies. Scientists who try to bring attention to the cure are blackballed by the community.
However, this seems like bullshit conspiracy talk, and it doesn't help that the guy that told me this, though a lovely chap, is a renowned bullshitter almost on a par with me.
>>151 tell us who your favourite band or musician or artist is and tell us why
>>151
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1624
There are more smbc comics that undermine science but I'm too lazy to find them all.
>>153
Link me to something bittersweet.
>>152, http://www.hersheys.com/extra-dark/dark-chocolate/index.asp
>>154, explain yourself.
I'm sorry I honestly can't, today I've wandered round the city centre in various patterns with no idea who or what or where or why i am; and every time I notice the floor i'm walking on I get stuck in don't-stand-on-lines-or-cracks games which is really annoying. Then I walked round the supermarket a few times, sure I was in for some reason but ended up with a bottle of irn-bru and a load of doughnuts. And it's really windy. Something did cheer me up today though, the other day I accidentally spilled a box of cotton buds down by the river, and today I noticed they're scattered around there hahahahaha
>>155 put yourself in my shoes
>>154
I'd like to know whether your shoe size fits before I do so. Regardless, I would play exactly the same don't-stand-on-lines-or-cracks game as you and feel extremely bad for polluting a river that has even a miniscule chance of containing turtles at some point in time. Also, I'd probably end up cycling in circles around town instead of wandering around on foot.
>>156
Tell us about the best movie or series we've never heard of.
>>157 what actually would antifreeze do to your dick? I'm a little intrigued to find out, plus its always nice to try pouring new substances on my genitals
>>87 awwww i downloaded the 500MB one to find they're all remixes... though it was nice to see some familiar names had contributed
>>159 find me the my little pony: friendship is magic soundtrack!
>>158
This looks fairly legit and well seeded. Fourth result on Google.
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/6548292/My_Little_Pony_Friendship_is_Magic_-_Full_Soundtrack_[FLAC]
>>160
I demand that you find a USB drive you own and tell me what's on it.
>>161
Ato, other than indicating that something takes place after a fixed point in time when something happened ("after the third day of the incident"), can be used to indicate some time after the present ("I'll call later"). In contrast, nochi (other than in expressions like nochi hodo) is only applicable to the former case.
Between ato and nochi, the latter is a stiffer way to say things.
>>163
Think for an entire day before posting.
>>162
I'd like to revive that ignore-others-demands-like-a-stupid-cunt trend from the first posts. I only do this because I might forget this: in Russian ato ("А то!") is pretty similar to English phrase "You know it!"; nochi ("ночи") is either a plural or a genetive case of noch ("ночь"), e.g. "долгие ночи" (long nights), "спокойной ночи!" (good night!)
>>164
Invent a really sweet "good night" wish.
>>163 that totally wasn't worth wasting the post I was brewing up and looking forward to maturing and posting after a whole day. I hate you even more. My post was going to be so good that I can say without any guilt I hope you choke on your tongue in your sleep, goodnight.
>>165 tell us your favourite joke to sweeten my sour mood
>>164
Knock knock?
Who's there?
John.
John who?
John Flanders, your old friend from college.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise! Please, come in.
(PS: I don't really have any good jokes, but if it makes you feel any better, I was waiting a whole day to post too. Screw you, ESpeoN)
>>165 it still made me smile!
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
That joke is by Emo Philips, who seems to be the most ripped off comedian ever which is a shame because he's one of my favourites.
>>167 give some credit where credit is due
>>168
>>0,1,4,9,16,25,36,49,64,81,100,121,144,169,196,225,256,289,324, 361,400,441,484,529,576,625,676,729,784,841,900,961
>>170
Suggest something to do with my girlfriend when we finally reunite in two days.