In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.
I was in an empty parking lot at a superstore in the middle of the night, behind the wheel of a car. Bright floodlights mounted high overhead on tall steel poles shone down cones of illumination that cut through the inky darkness that otherwise consumed the field of white lines and concrete. The silence was deafening. I drove slowly despite mashing the accelerator down and watching the tachometer's needle spin, feeling as though the vehicle were caught in slow motion while I continued to move at full speed. An unfamiliar, unclothed person abruptly phased into reality, standing a few yards away from the from the front of the car with an indistinguishable expression that only vaguely represented that of a human's face, appearing smeared and swirled like a smudged oil painting. I blinked, and as I opened my eyes, everything seemed to accelerate. Gravity tossed me back into my seat as the wheels spun soundlessly, the strange figure staring from the opposite side of the glass remaining motionless as the distance between him and I closed. The bumper of the sedan connected with the creature, his form folding and contorting across the hood with a sickening crunching sound before rolling over and slamming against the windshield, crimson blood splattered as spiderweb cracks exploded across the surface in every direction. Bouncing, the broken body twisted through the air, clearing the roof before collapsing to the ground in a crumpled heap. I locked the brakes and held the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, inhaling sharply and screwing my eyelids shut as the car skidded across the tarmac. It felt like I'd slid to a stop, but when I opened up my eyes again I found myself holding onto the handlebars of a motorbike, jetting down a familiar highway at a ludicrous pace. Strip malls, gas stations, and eateries sped by in a blistering blur as I weaved through traffic and blew past stoplights, the warm glow of the setting sun casting a tint of orange light over top of my surroundings and painting the world with long, dark shadows. I glanced down at the speedometer, but the digital display was just a garbled mess that I couldn't make any sense of. Though I felt I was crossing an enormous distance with the speed I was travelling, I noticed the road repeating itself, the same sets of shopping centers and street signs looping on either side of the pavement. I wrap my fingers around the brake and clutch it tight, and the moment that I do, the bike disappears entirely, leaving me flying through the air and gliding over the ground. I stick my arms out and flail in the air as I sail towards the tarmac, panicking as I fall. When I made contact, I woke up.
I had 2 cause I slept for like 14 hours:
I was in my hometown, walking to a drugstore that I often visited to buy soda and sweets at as a kid. A guy with a shaved head and a blond goatee came up and asked if I had any spare change. I fished around in my pockets, didn't find anything, so I told him sorry I don't have anything. Then he reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out a knife, and threw it right at my FUCKING COCK and it missed by like a quarter inch and lodged in my pelvic bone, the shock woke me up and I ran to the bathroom to pee.
2.
I finally fell back asleep after the first one:
I was on some hookup app looking for men but every time I'd arrange something with someone they'd flake at the last second, saying something like "sry my gf found out lol" "I just fapped and now I'm straight again""I forgot I have to go to church that day". I went for a walk in the snow to relieve some of the frustration and then the guy with the blond goatee and the shaved head jumped out from behind a tree and stabbed me in the dick.
I was in my hometown (a theme appears) with my mother on some business of some kind. I left her and wandered off to go see the apartments where we used to live. My key still worked (in reality we lived there like 15 years ago and I don't even have my key anymore) and no one seemed to be at home so I just let myself in, thinking to have a look around and see how the new tenants had changed the place. I was inspecting some knickknack off a shelf when the "new tenant" appeared behind me, a rather pretty young woman, slender with dark hair and dark eyes and clad in an ankle length black dress that at once seemed old-fashioned and very stylish. She was naturally a bit concerned at there being a strange man in her apartment so I set down the object I was looking at and put both my hands up to show that I was unarmed, then began to speak(I remember the conversation clearly):
-"Please don't be alarmed, miss, I don't mean any harm to you or your possessions."
-"Then what do you want?"
At this point I returned my hands to my sides.
-"You see, this was my boyhood home. I was in the area on some other business and thought I'd visit the complex here and see the little wooded area where I used to play as a kid. Out of curiosity I thought I'd see if my old key worked, and that if it did I'd of course return it to whoever was living here. The landlords here really are quite lazy you know, to not even change the locks after 15 years."
I produced the key from a pocket and handed it to her, to prove both my intentions and my story as to why I was in her apartment. To prove it even further, I intended to open the door and lock the handle and show her how the key worked in the lock, but when I opened the door it was actually the window. I fiddled with it for a second anyway, trying to find the keyhole, but she told me to please shut the window, it's cold outside and I'm letting out all the heat.
She invited me to sit down and made coffee for us both. I told her about my childhood, this part I don't remember the dialogue as clearly, and about how we had our television in such and such corner just like she does, only up here were some shelves, over there were some different decorations, we had pictures on this wall instead of that one, and so on. I was collecting my things, getting ready to leave, thanking her for the coffee and for indulging me in my childhood nostalgia, when I got a phonecall from my mother, frantically wanting to know where I'd gone off to.
I dreamt that half of the dirty dishes in my sink had been washed, which was mysterious because I always wash them completely.
I dreamt that someone made a typo on IRC and highlighted me unintentionally, then apologized for it.
I dreamt that I was an orphan in an ever-shifting dockside city, where the streets were formed out of spare shipping containers and crates, tens of stories high (the ships were several times larger than even the largest we have). We climbed onto a pile of convenience store crackers and watched some vagrants put on a circus, although instead of a circus it was a lecture series on Algebraic Geometry.
The owner of the crackers chased us away, suspecting us of stealing, and we found ourselves in The Place Where You Look For A Job, a massive wall with dozens of small, circular doorways, each belonging to a company looking for dock workers, or sailors, or something. There were thousands of vagrants in line, and only a fraction of them were accepted before the doors shut. Those who were taken in were never seen again, and I vaguely knew that it meant death to try to sneak through, or look beyond that wall. The sky darkened, which I knew meant a ship was coming in.
Then I woke up. I'll leave the analysis to you.
Start of Family Guy episode:
Peter Griffin is unsure of an obscure pop culture thing at the Drunken Clam, the answer to which could only be known past the end of his natural lifespan (dunno what, let's say it may have been the fate of a child actor or whether there would be a ridiculously high-numbered movie sequel).
The rest of the episode he dedicates his life to scientific discovery when tragedy takes away the rest of his family. His obsession makes it difficult to maintain human relationships, but his advances in robotics, time travel, and biology make society better as Quahog citizens use his inventions and they become agents of good, long-lived, good-looking. There are no cutaway gags or drama, this is kind of a biopic that lacks a conflict other than Peter's isolation due to his grief and actually being above it all.
After following the citizens' sort of time-cop problem solving for a while, Agent Joe walks in to the bar that day and gives the answer to the original question: "Yes." and immediately collapses as the chip in his spine shorts while he pops out of existence in about .2 seconds as the buzzed crew watches without reacting. CREDIT ROLL
I dreampted that my romantic interest told me they wanted to do the sex, so we both went to a bathroom to prepare, but as I presumably actually needed a pee in real life my dream self was completely unable to pee. I sat in a car trying to make the urine when I spotted someone I knew walking down the street towards me, so I ducked down.
Then my cat woke me up trying to dig a tunnel inside my legs for warmth.
My mom and I were looking for a cottage, and we found one that was being sold by a bunch of homosexuals in their "gay colony". It turns out they also kept corrupt politicians there, and would regularly sodomize their anuses. And whenever an anus was getting too dry, they had a sort of dildo on a hand drill, where the first couple inches was just caked in blood and shit, and the final 2/3rds were just barbs that tore up the flesh. When applied to a politician's anus this would effectively result in lubricating it, at the cost of excruciating pain to the anus owner.
I was in the passenger seat of a car and we were being chased by the police driving really fast down a small two lane road with trees on either side. The guy driving was firing a gun out the window at the police and I decided I didn't want any more to do with this, so I pulled out my own gun and shot him in the head and steered the car til it came to a stop. I got out of the car with my hands up to surrender to the police and tell them I wasn't involved when I hear "LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT MOTHERFUCKER!" from behind me and the driver wakes up and shoots me in the back of the head. I fall over and the dream ends, I wake up.
It was the 60s, and I went to go see Martin Luther King jr give a speech. Before it started he noticed me and took me aside and used magic to make me black so I wouldn't stand out in the crowd. He told me to come see him afterward and he'd reverse the spell but I woke up first.
>>414 yeah, even got my N-word pass straight from Michelle Obama my nigga
I also dreamed tonight that a longtime net friend from Europe(I'm American, won't go more specific for either of us) came to visit me and we went to a baseball game. He kept asking me in his adorable accent to explain what was happening so I'd tell him about the rules or the finer points of the game strategy while we were watching. We got some hotdogs and beers, snuck down into better seats, all that classic ballpark stuff. It was the nicest dream I've had in a long time, I woke up in a really good mood even though I didn't get much sleep.
I was on an island of pure white sand, with shining white stone buildings in an achingly beautiful blue sea with blue cloudless skies overhead. Perfect place to have some profound experience, right? Nope. A bunch of drunken idiots came out of nowhere and trashed the whole place.
I made a very nice racing road winding downhill. Didn't get to try it though.
I keep having dreams where my dick is big enough or I'm flexible enough that I can suck it quite comfortably. So I spend most of my dream time with my dick in my mouth. Half the time I don't cum, but when I do it's stringy and weird.
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Hi! Yes. That's good. I also have many dreams. The biggest dream is to have a big house where my whole family lives. I'm working on it now. I have two jobs. I work at an official job and here remotely https://mr.bet/casino/new. I think that soon I will be able to fulfill my dream, because with the advent of remote work, I began to earn more money. I like that!
I didn't write my dream down because it's been a while since I last did so, but here is what I remember:
I was doing something work related for my company, and it comes to my attention that a different bigshot company needs one of our applications. Not too different from my actual work. The difference starts when they say they need a paper application (instead of a PDF) so that was a big "what the fuck". So I print it because it's my job, but I've never mailed anything at work before so I didn't know how to print labels (labels for their address) or even where the envelopes were so I end up going outside into a forest (I live in the desert). My boss was also in the forest, but that's about it.
Dreams about work are the most common dreams that I have... Kinda of sad.
I dreamed that I finally joined my friends for a D&D session like they've been trying to get me to do for a while. I rolled up a character and joined in and the very first thing I did was crit fail a melee attack and hit the wrong target and accidentally kill the group's high level fighter.
I had another dream where me and a partner had to raid a yacht like some drug bust. The targets were of Hispanic descent. I had a double barreled shotgun and my partner had some sort of pistol. We enter, and I shoot my 2 shots and I miss, and I yell "I'm out!" I couldn't find where my shells were and my partner couldn't take them on by himself. I got captured, and bound. They are holding a poisonous snack right up to my face while laughing at me, brush some sort of liquid on my wrist that makes the snake think there is food on that spot, and it bites me.
I wake up with some sort of disease, and I realize that I am "now" Hispanic (I'm Hispanic in real life). I get a bearing on my surroundings, and my initial thought is that it's Africa due to the rundown nature of the scenery but everyone was still Hispanic (so, out of dream, maybe it could be like a bad area of South America I guess). I get friendly with the locals, and things head in a direction where I have to leave, and everyone gets sad sending me farewell gifts and medicine that I had a hunch would not work.
>>424
Both of those dreams were mine. I'm about to be 27 but I've had work dreams since I was 22. My other common dreams include me driving my car recklessly and totaling it. I wake up in a panic almost every time. And yeah, for some reason I always write "snack" instead of snake. I'm just glad I corrected it once at least.
I would post another dream but my roommate was whistling loudly when he got home from work (night shift), which woke me up. I drifted off back to sleep and forgot the dream. Maybe I'll locate my dream journal from a few years ago and post any interesting ones at some point.
>>424
>>425
Also about the work dreams thing, I doubt you have very much to worry about. I live a very simple life of working and playing video games every single day (days off are only video games), so I really don't have anything else that goes on in my brain. I'm sure that you are more functional than I am, so you'll have more than work happening in your life. Anyway, thank you for showing interest and sorry for the long and double posts.
>>426
It's all good, hombre. I felt a little mean after posting that. FWIW we're the same age, and most of my dreams are apparently about sucking my own dick, so... We're all mad here.
I think I'm just going to make this thread into a continuation my dream journal. By the way, if you take a daily multi-vitamin right before bed, you will have a greater chance of remembering your dreams!! I never go to sleep without taking one.
This dream seemed quite choppy. There were multiple parts that all seemed unrelated. The first part was a sort of school trip to a very large police station. Oddly enough, I do not believe I recognized anyone, which is rare for me. Also, I'm way out of school. Anyway, we went up these stairs, and there were glass sliding doors to the left and right of us but the right side appeared like it was not open to the public. It had chairs and potted plants lined up across the pathway to block entry. However there was a space so I walked through, and the rest of my group followed. There wasn't much going on, just a lot of closed doors that were larger than normal and one of those meetings rooms than you can see from the outside that was empty.
Next, I was in a building that is most easily described as a mall, but there were no open stores. It had been turned into a pokemon battle arena. I was Slowking (I don't even like that pokemon), and the bottom floor had been flooded with water. The water level was right up to the walkway of the second floor. Wobbuffet camped in the water and kept using Water Gun at me but kept missing because I kept running away. Eventually he ran out of uses so I chased him and kept using tackle until it fainted. It disappeared. I go to the second floor where the final opponent is, and he is trapped between me, and the edge of the battlefield which was a very high drop into the city street, much higher than a regular second floor. I say "Nothin personnel, kid..." and push him off.
At this point, I find myself on some sort of coast, walking deeper onto the water (not into). I guess it takes a lot of energy because I faint and I can see the side of myself. I dream-wake up and a group of scientists surgically installed gills on me and everyone else that was now with me. We were still under water. End.
I dreamed that I had woken up in January of 2021 from a dream that it was 2018. I was trying to remember what happened during 2020, because it had been a very boring year.
I was in jail in China. The "cell" was only about as big as one of those capsule hotel pods, with a tiny screen with state-sponsored entertainment at the head end and a control panel with a button to call the warden, a ventilation port for fresh air and a timer showing the remainder of my sentence (1260 or so days for me).
Later, I was walking around the streets, still in China. I went into a department store, first to look at the lingerie section, then I came across a whole ton of different knockoff legos, which freaked me out enough to suddenly reappear in a local supermarket instead.
I finally had another dream worth writing about that I remembered. It's one of those nonsensical ones though.
This guy was giving a seminar on something to a bunch of people, myself included. My dream self was having a MASSIVE feeling a dejavu, feeling like I had already dreamed about this seminar, but my real self has never been to a seminar at the location before (closest description is an elementary school cafeteria, which the folding tables and benches). I remember walking to the bathroom and looking at a mirror and seeing nothing out of the ordinary.
Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the bad of a pickup truck, looking up at all of the passing trees. Quite relaxing. I stop a pinata of a Brazilian flag, but as we pass it, it seems to completely disappear using camouflage (green and black against the shades of trees). We stop, and I appear in the tree tops, playing video games with some gray tigers above the TV.
Last thing I remember was having to take a test that was in Japanese and I (real self) haven't studied it in a really long time so I failed.
I was in a ruined city, surrounded by bodies and rubble. There were a few living people, but we didn't acknowledge each other. I was foraging for supplies, but I knew that I had to leave, soon, because it was about to get worse. I heard a noise, and saw the body of a woman, encased in some sort of viscous substance, which was bending her body. I saw several of her bones snap, and I wondered whether either she or the substance were alive. At that moment, I knew that it had become worse, and that I needed to leave immediately.
The city had clearly defined walls, and once I passed them I was in some sort of grassy plain. Even here, there was rubble, but this was a different sort. I passed the broken pieces of huge stone maces and swords, each of which must have been thirty feet long. Where the pieces had fallen, the grass itself had turned to stone. I made sure to give a wide margin to those places. There were no signs of what things had wielded the weapons.
As I continued, the sky began to darken, not from the sunset, but as if the city behind me were sending out dark clouds. I began to panic, worried that I wouldn't be able to outrun the darkness even in the short term. Gradually, I started hearing voices from around me (above?). They sounded like proud, evil children, and they were making bets with each other on how long I would last. I tried very hard to listen, hoping they would let slip some useful information about what was ahead of me. Some of them started cackling, and as I tried harder and harder to listen, I woke up.
I'm hanging out at a house in the country with some older people I know. I see a big, strange plane with a flat front flying low. There's a similar one behind it. Suddenly both planes crash into the ground, one in front of the house and one behind it. There's a huge sound and I know everyone on board is dead. Three or four more planes crash, I lie on the ground with my head covered, and then I wake up.
I dreamed that I was playing a hunting video game for the PC. The graphics looked like they were from the late 1990s. I had spent a great deal of time trying to beat the game on medium difficulty. Eventually I did beat the game even though it was miserable to play. I was then reminded that I hadn't beat the game on hard mode.
I was hired to implement some kind of message bus for showing real-time diagnostics. When I looked at the requirements manual and saw the front-end prototype I was supporting (which was directly LCARS), I realized we were building some kind of spaceship. Everyone in the dream was someone I'd worked with in real life, except for the girl who was supposed to be my partner (I think she was responsible for the medium/long-term diagnostic system, and I for the real-time portion). She laughed at my dumb jokes about the various C standards, referred to C++ as ‘sepples’, and kept smiling at me in a way that was far beyond professional. I didn't recognize her from any of my waking memories, but she seemed to know who I was.
---
I don't think I've ever had a more pleasant dream. It makes the real world seem that much more grey and uninteresting.
Miles Davis was giving me shit about my solos while I was giving him a ride home from the gig, so I left him at a train stop surrounded by cornfields.
>>441 Can't help it. I used to play 4th Tenor sax in big bands a lot. In those five part harmonic sax solis, my part got all the flavor notes. Practicing alone, the lines made no sense. I stand up to blow a solo, same thing happens.
Anyway, just had one of those mornings where I kept dropping in and out of sleep for a few seconds at a time, and in one of those dream shorts, I was looking out my apartment window and saw a kinda mousey girl in another apartment spot me looking. She mushed her tits up against the window and then ran back out of view.
So yesterday I had a dream with my family. I don't think I ever had a dream with my entire family in it before. And it's not even a big family, just my sister and my parents.
Anyway, we were home, preparing some food. Then we were getting out of our car, and old red Toyota, on what looked like a leafy avenue with rows of plane trees on both sides. My dad was pushing a cart full of baguettes (not the food we were making earlier, but whatever). And we were going to the park to have a picnic. But after crossing the road, my mom lost sight of us and started walking in the wrong direction.
My dad tried shouting her name, several times, but to no avail. I decided to go after her because I was worried she would get lost. My dad seemed to have given up and headed to the park with my sister.
I quickly caught up with my mom and we turned into a street with run-down brick apartment blocks. We didn't say a word as there was a loud group of local teenagers on the street just having a jolly time. Then something very strange happened. I dreamt that this dream makes me, the adult who is dreaming it, long for those careless teenage days of the past like those teens were having. Ones I never really had, myself.
Anyway, we continued walking, and my mother, a teacher, said something to the effect of how wholesome that group was. I tried to explain that we are going the wrong way, she insisted we aren't, but we looked at iMaps and there was a railway line separating us from the park. We just decided to turn back, and walked past the rowdy group once more. Our eyes met with one of them, a blonde girl who I think in real life I have seen in the music video of Skepta's song, Shutdown. She smiled at me, at which point my mom bumped me with her elbow and said "Son" in a patronising tone.
We walked back, towards the park, but found it completely empty. There was lush green grass and trees as far as we could see, but no people. We walked for a while but as it started to get dark, we turned back, only to find that the park extended endlessly in the direction we came from, too. Only vegetation, no people or buildings could be seen.
Then I woke up.
Have a nice day,
-gv4ullctdor
Had a dream that the whole drama around it was orchestrated, and that Barkley 2 was actually almost finished and ready to be released. Somehow, in my dream, I realized that this was a dream and got disappointed, but then I managed to convince myself that it was actually real, in the form of all the ToG people convening on a large stage and performing some elaborate ceremony. At some point they started playing a video (apparently from 2015, reminiscent of a low-budged school play) of a confrontation between several knockoff Star Wars characters.
This was interspersed with a different scenario on a city on an island, where I first was a bus driver on the first day of my job and had to figure out my route. Later on, I was in a fighter jet, trying to intercept a nuclear missile that had apparently been launched as a test. I was unable to stop it, and accepted that it was going to hit the ocean. I flew back to the island, landed near my secret hideout bunker, and started preparing for the blast. Mostly by telling all friends, which were in there for some reason, to unplug their electronics and by closing the blinds.
I live in the USA, and I dreamed that I was at one of the greatest events for fans for rally car enthusiasts. There were Subarus and Mitsubishis for miles. There were a few of the less common rally cars sold in the USA. I then saw someone arrive in a Lancia and I was really excited to see it. A few other people at the show noticed it. I woke up was I was approaching the driver. I wanted to ask him how it drove when compared to other rally cars.
I was on a mission to sabotage some piece of hospital equipment but the best I could do was to break a little adjustment handle on its stand. Then I tried to get out, but every time I thought I'd found an exit, it led to another huge open room with people milling around and gigantic devices suspended under the 20 story high ceiling, or a huge combination restroom and swimming pool, or this big conical tower of glass and catwalks with a giant antenna assembly in the middle that would pulse hard enough to feel in my guts. Through the windows, there was nothing but grassy hills all the way to the horizon.
In one room, a little girl in a hospital gown asked me if she was pretty. Her nose was malformed and had little zits on it, so I said no.
This was a pretty long dream. I remember bits and pieces of some sort of post-disaster world, with ruined cities and various other things.
The bit I remember was at the end. I was investigating something or other, and I ended up at a technical trade show. A company was advertising their system for performing rapid chemical analysis of something-or-other in an unmanned environment (I think it was somewhere on the moon). They showed a demo of an existing space shuttle-like vehicle, and how their system allowed transport of samples without modifying the shuttle design. There was a CGI simulation of the process. As the simulated shuttle landed and the machinery went into operation, there was an explosion on-screen and the demo went dead.
I had managed to get into the good graces of one of the technical people (call them N), so I was able to watch while the various executives and directors frantically tried to figure out what had happened. It turned out that the CGI simulation had ended, the explosion had come from the next thing that was supposed to be shown in the video: an interview with the genius who developed some of the compounds needed in the process. I think they were called the HCL2020Z series, and they were very, very tightly kept secrets.
There was more confusing investigation, and I ended up inside the house/office of some executive, whose family ran the whole department (one of those cackling old women who issued orders from her bed). It turned out that their development process involved binding some kind of demon onto one of the employees. The HCL2020Z series was too complicated to be understood by a mere mortal. The current host was the "genius" who was to have been interviewed: his human part had regained enough control to attempt suicide just as the video feed switched.
At all times, there was a current host of the demon, and another technical worker selected as "acolyte": one named by the host at the instant of possession, who was next in line and was granted some knowledge of the technicalities. Control of both host and acolyte would allow one family branch to oust the others, and completely control the chemical department. I forget all the character names, but at this point, with the current host dying in a hospital, there were all sorts of Mexican stand-offs and double-crosses to choose the next host/acolyte pair.
After a shoot-out, my friend N ended up as host. As the last double-cross, I was named the acolyte without anyone but me and N knowing. In the resulting confusion, I tried to escape.
The last thing I remember was trying to board a moving freight plane that was leaving the research lab/mansion/factory/whatever. I pleaded with the pilot, who laughed and asked for some kind of bribe. I looked around for something, anything, and by the power of the acolyte, I scrawled the structural diagrams of the first dozen compounds in the HCL2020Z series, somehow in a Fraktur script, on the side of his plane, where his observation cameras could see them. Astonished, he let me on, and that's when I woke up.
I was looking up an Internet meme in Japanese based off a Korean tourist getting food poisoning from tainted seafood but not stopping eating it. ムカムカ something or other.
My brother became a VIP and I kept trying not to embarrass myself in front of his handler, a really hot blonde named Buttons, except she was dropping huge hints like leaving a magazine with a cover story about "people who want to become living pillows (no really)" (no, really) and not leaving when I couldn't stop myself from opening two tabs of hentai, and also brought her friend along later
anyway basically the only reason we didn't bang is probably because i have no experience and my family was there
Someone named "Antoine Internet" was leaving hang-up messages on my old Casio wristphone/calculator watch while I was involved with a Space Diversity Action Team(tm) adventure which fizzled out half way through, even though I got to bone the shy little Arabian girl on the team while we were alone on the bridge.
Actually, I think she was Japanese and just dressed like an Arab girl.
I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America, north and south, and I was hiding from it in a sealed room with a few friends, who changed into different friends every time I looked around. I opened a door into a huge underground arcology like a 30 story shopping mall or hotel with this giant open space. Chinese spies came in from another door and I flew into the arcology to escape them, zipping around giant columns and escalators while they shot at me with some kind of energy weapons.
I had that dream a couple of weeks ago, and now I see this in the news: https://people.com/health/cases-pneumonic-plague-found-in-china/
holyfuck
>I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America
That wasn't a dream
I had a dream I dug a hole to my uncle's house and I was playing some obscure shmups with his twelve yr old daughter. She's really weird and she loves seeing me when I come over during family holidays.
I dreamed I went to the store and bought a box of Mentos and when I opened the box it was full of gummy lifesavers (which I despise). I went to the cashier and demanded a refund, but he refused to give me a refund and said he would give me a coupon for some donuts and 6% off a box of Mentos. I got angry and I started making a scene and some 12 year old girl was watching and laughing. I attempted to choke the cashier with a soft prezel and got thrown out. The End.
Wasted a lot of time reading an old, long-winded site I made (with terribl teenage-quality jokes, although one innuendo I can't remember was particularly good in its audacity). Tried to recover an old game I made that was on it that was a parody "sequel" (The Queen of Sheba 3) of a game with infamous Engrish. Although I had bragged about it being only 25kB, archive.org didn't go that far. I felt "Wow, I forgot I made all this. I have lost touch with the creative energy I used to have."
There was a lot more to it, but I only remember these details because of how detailed it was.
Also neither that site nor that game was a thing I did, of course. They merely sounded like things I plausibly would have done if my life weren't so fucked up.
Last night I had a dream that my reality-crazy mother took an 18-wheeler and drove through as many mansions as possible. When I exited the truck, I was looking for my computer in order to tell my two reality-important online friends that I was going to kill myself shortly due to being unable to afford the damages. However, I couldn't find a keyboard and there is no way that I would kill myself without saying my goodbyes to them (in reality), so I never got to the suicide part in the dream either. I found a whole bunch of N64's though instead of keyboards. Apparently I was somehow in my childhood home because I recognized the TV that I used to have and my computer desk was where it belonged just without the PC. Also we did not live in a mansion so the transition between the mansions to my room is a mystery.
I had a dream where I saw western otaku women showing off the gifts they got from their Japanese boyfriends. I then started to wonder who is better off, western otaku women with Japanese boyfriends or western otaku men with Japanese boyfriends.
My beloved dream-uncle who owned (and apparently lived in) a pizzeria died in a fire that destroyed the whole building.
Read a medium-decent doujin
Wish I could remember enough details to bring it into existence.
Kissed a ginger girl in secret
I dreamed that I was in a huge investment firm, and somehow the mainframe took data from my computer and revealed my embarrassing fetishes to all kinds of people at the firm. They were all mad as hell.
I had a dream I returned to a former job, and everyone I knew was still there, but the whole company had pivoted to making apps and infosites about frogs and toads. Everyone had a frog or a toad on their lap, the whole floor was crawling with frogs and toads, the whole office was decorated to look like a rainforest and also this guy came over and started showing off his toad expertise and explained to me how to recognize a frog from a toad in the wild, and then asked me to pet his toad because he thought it was very cute. It wasn't, it was a very disgusting toad.
Was in some series of tunnels where people lived.
While we were traveling (kind of a paranoid voyeuristic atmosphere, think of Indiana Jones in "Temple of Doom" watching the human sacrifice), one of the mercenaries (female) lagged behind and did a sort of horror-movie "don't do this thing that's very easy to not do" and used a moment of privacy to masturbate, which turned out to activate a large statue nearby (that wasn't apparent before) and then the raider faction (they had a name, don't remember what) yeeted in from a side path. Not sure if the two were related, the timing was too sudden.
I dreamed that I won a limited edition Sig Sauer handgun, but I immediately had to hide it from my roommates. I didn't have time to find something lockable, so I buried it under some clothes. I can't remember exactly what kind of Sig Sauer it was, but it was 2 tone with wooden grips. I'm guessing it was a P226.
I and an old friend were going to a new high-tech amusement park and I was really looking forward to it. We got there, my friend ditched me, and I found myself wandering around an abandoned luxury resort in some abandoned part of a city that a bunch of families made their ratty little homes in. While looking for him and the park, I found a speedboat then woke up before I could drive it around.
I got into a fist fight with a girl, then had to run away in a cargo ship.
I don't recall exactly what was I dreaming, but I distinctly remember Fortunate Son blaring literally fucking everywhere, really weird shit.
For some reason I had to drink two beers at once. I don't drink often or much (and accordingly have next to no alcohol tolerance), and I don't like the taste of beer.
(It was Valentine's, though...)
Grandma wanted to post here
I dreamed I got a job and had to show up for a 10 AM shift tomorrow.
In retrospect, it was more of a nightmare.
I dreamed a country singer and I bombed a truck together.
I remember going on a Green Lantern amusement park ride. The ride was similar to an airplane motion simulator, and it followed Hal Jordan and other lantern ring wearers to battle some badguys. I don't remember the ride being any better than similar amusement park rides. I just didn't expect one to be based on Green Lantern.
I had a dream where I had an Ipad freeze up. It was stuck on a page full of Cardcaptor Sakura lewds. Someone else wanted to use it, and was getting impaitient. I was doing every trick I could think of to hide the lewds, but I didn't know much about how to work with Apple products.
I was looking up a wiki article and it was remarkably detailed. What I can recall of it reads as follows:
"Cocainius" is a surgical procedure performed only at Sacred Heart. It consists of ... "up the tonsil's nose." In the final episode, the procedure, and the hospital's financial future, came under doubt when ... discovered that its results came about because ... into the spine.....
I had a dream where I woke up and went to the kitchen. While preparing breakfast I dropped a bread slice on the floor, which scared me and made me actually wake up, confused as to what had happened.
I was looking at dailies for a new cartoon that was supposedly based on Twin Peaks, but the only thing it had in common was the theme music. The cartoon itself involved a giant harp seal and a tiny walrus doing old Tom & Jerry routines at sea, as interpreted by John K.
It wasn't cute or funny, so it got cancelled before the first toon was finished.
I dreamed that I got a Steyr AUG that shot 12 gauge shotgun shells.
I was working with an old coworker on hunting down the source code for Atari's Star Raiders so we could modernize it a bit. The disassembler we were using for some reason also rendered a pleasingly 8-bit summer day in the background with little 8x8 pixel sprite kids flying kites and running around aimlessly, as simulated kids often do.
When I woke up, I googled for the source code and found someone had done it about five years ago, with much useful commenting.
I had a nightmare my toenails were being forcibly clipped and the person doing it was complimenting me on how nice they looked and how well cared for they were
I was cuddling a cute girl I know, but she kept periodically slipping her hand between my legs and trying to finger me, and it really spoiled the mood.
I had something like sleep paralysis, and most of my body seemed dead weight. I was also extremely tired, so much so that it was an effort not to fall asleep (asleep within the dream, that is). I was lying at an angle that made it difficult to see the corner of the room in the direction of my feet. When I did twist myself to look, that corner was hidden in unnatural shadow. There was a sound coming from within the shadow.
After several attempts, I shook off some of the paralysis, crawled onto the floor, and pulled myself (my legs did not work) towards that corner, hoping to confront the thing making the noise. I then noticed one of my spare coax cables discarded on the floor. The connector had been neatly disassembled. I knew then that whatever was hidden in the shadow was carefully preparing to cut off all my means of communication with the outside world, and in such a way that repairs could be made later.
As I realized this, I fell asleep. My last thought was that this was certainly a dream, because I had never felt this tired before.
Running on foot at highway speeds (on a highway) with rent-a-friends trying to get home from my high school (IRL it's a drive along one road that takes about an hour due to rush hour traffic) as soon as possible.
Somehow this led directly to abandoned construction that was falling apart and we were climbing up in it. Good times.
I was going to make an X-Men movie where superpowers were going to be an allegory for disability and by the end there shouldn't be any superpowers featured in the movie at all (focusing entirely on the human aspect), and it was going to be the best superhero movie ever made.
I advised my father--who has had more and better booze in a 1960s frat than I will in my entire life--that it's recommended to put a couple drops of water in neat whiskey (okay, that's just an opinion albeit a popular one that many producers of fine whisky endorse or approve) but/so if you mix whiskey and vodka (wtf?) don't bother.
Dream-me also gives bad life advice sometimes too!
I had a dream that I met an old man with a 1971 Nissan GT-R. He bought it when he was new. He needed some repair help and I gave it to him.
I dreamed that the Disgaea 1 crew were besieging a McDonald's restaurant and (as usual) Etna had a plan to betray Laharl at the last second and usurp his title. This time she planned to have the support monsters she hired hold him down and give him brain surgery to alter his brain and make him think he was her vassal, but when they opened up his head there wasn't actually a brain in there, just a bunch of little plastic balls with personality traits and motivations and what not written on them. The only relevant alteration she was able to make was to throw away one of the little balls that had "hates McDonalds" written on it.
All I remember is that there was a pig involved. It looked like Waddles from Gravity Falls, not like a real one. Someone picked it up even though a big hawg should be too heavy for that.
(Then I woke up and rolled Circe in FGO. Pathetic, I know.)
(Bonus: the other day I had a dream about trying not to get into Internet arguments after a day of trying not to get into Internet arguments)
It was all so clear to me. In order to create the perfect set theory, I just needed one extra symbol. It would mean “Not Balder than Gödel”. But what would I call it...
Soldier 76 is juking around in that goofy Overwatch way that makes the head hitbox spaz out. But this is indoors. Hanzo asks why he's doing that and Soldier just says "You will." as a bullet trail misses.
This comeback seemed a lot more clever while I was asleep.
i tried to scream but my head was underwater
Nuclear air raid sirens, and I had to run into the basement to hide. But it ended up being a false alarm somehow.
Later on, a GTA-like dream. My father was killed after his plane got shot down, and to pay off a debt collector, I went into a building and started killing Asian college students.
I dreamed that I created a fake computer review channel. However, all it reviewed was shovelware and abandonware demo discs from the 1990s.
I had a hand crank gattling gun that I was shooting off in a local grocery store to show off.
Two incidents of being filmed against my will and having my clothes stolen by hooligans...
>>496
It's been added to the "Text Art" formatting option, so as not to break AA in narrow windows.
had a dream that a friend and I were watching a v
Went lucid in my last dream and told some punk who'd been hassling me throughout the dream that when I wake up, he's going to cease to exist.
Punk said "yeah, right." then I woke up.
OWNED!
>>499
Cease to exist? No, the punk is alive and well in the dream world. In fact, from his perspective, you're the one who randomly fell over and died! I bet he's laughing at you right now, thinking "What a chump, I bet he didn't realize he's the one who was going to disappear!"
I had a dream Richard Spencer was making a video on how to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a toaster where he was squatting and looking down at the camera set on the floor. Also his physical form was Louis Theroux, and he said something about how a pickle slice is X mm thick which means you can get Y slices of pickles out of 1 whole pickle.
I went on a walk at midnight then realized I needed to be somewhere, so I started running and there was fat guy walking in a dark alley. He noticed I was running toward him so he tried to jog away afraid I might be trying to mug him or something. He gave up due to being fat and I just ran past him anyway.
And then I was at a bar playing with a Sprite can while waiting for someone and thinking about how if you shook it up and poked 2 diagonal holes on opposite sides it'd spin. I later applied that principle to shooting some sort of zombie creature so it'd spin around from the blood.
There was a massive fire pit dug in someone's yard. Around 8'x20'x15' (WxLxD) and made of brick. It had 3 big bundles of wood in it with some space in between them. We set the fires and kept throwing in dried plant matter to keep it going. I almost fell in after stumbling on the corner of one of the bricks when bringing more plant matter from a nearby hill.
Also at some point between all this there was a modern made map like you'd find on Wikipedia of Khwarazm. It was colored in a medium blue with some surrounding regions in a lighter blue. This was right before the Mongol invasion. This image was "fullscreen"
My bed was seriously overheating and I had to resolve the fact that a 4 ft tall heater was directly beneath it.
(My body temperature is running a little hot IRL after switching to a more meat-based diet)
I ate a head-sized portion out of a torso-sized loaf of bread in a few bites, but I was still hungry....
I left my siblings at a cafe to do some business, but when I returned I found that they were on their way out and had thrown away my giant salty licorice rat. This angered me, and my brother went to buy me a new one, but when I offered to pay because I saw how upset he got, the staff got really pissed off at me...