What's important in life? What's important to me? Do I want to live a happy or a meaningful life? I guess that it's just a matter of preference, but my rationalisations have made it impossible to pinpoint my exact desires. I guess that being able to percieve from different perspectives is a blessing and a curse; I have lost my sense of self. This freedom used to be something I longed for, but now it just leaves me directionless, floating. A human being isn't capable to create something out of nothing; our lives revolve around our environment and how we react upon it.

Maybe there is something I missed; is there really something as our subconscious? Is my true self hiding in the depths of my brain? Maybe I should try out creating a tulpa. I probably don't have what it takes to completely follow through with it. I'll just be floating.