[Contentless] ITT you post right now [ASAP] your current thought.[Brains] [Thinking] [Personal] [#5] (999)

1 Name: (´ε` )♡ : 1993-09-6708 18:02

Here we go!

             ( ゚∀゚) 〜MAMBO NUMBAH 5!
             ⊂  つ
             (つ ノ
     \      ☆
             |     ☆
          (⌒ ⌒ヽ   /
    \  (´⌒  ⌒  ⌒ヾ   /
      ('⌒ ; ⌒   ::⌒  )
     (´     )     ::: ) /
  ☆─ (´⌒;:    ::⌒`) :;  )
     (⌒::   ::     ::⌒ )

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 18:31

         ,-、            ,.-、
        ./:::::\          /::::::ヽ
       /::::::::::::;ゝ--──-- 、._/::::::::::::::|
       /,.-‐''"´          \:::::::::::|
     /                ヽ、::::|
    /                   ヽ|
     l                         l
    .|    ●                |    New thread・・
     l  , , ,           ●     l
    ` 、      (_人__丿    、、、   / 
      `ー 、__               /
         ,-、            ,.-、
        ./:::::\          /::::::ヽ
       /::::::::::::;ゝ--──-- 、._/::::::::::::::|
       /,.-‐''"´          \:::::::::::|
     /                ヽ、::::|
    /    ●                  ヽ|
     l   , , ,             ●      l
    .|        (_人__丿     、、、  |    2GET!
     l                      l
    ` 、                       /
      `ー 、__               /

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 18:39

( ・-・) 2GE- aw, fuckmittens

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 18:42

         ,-、            ,.-、
        ./:::::\          /::::::ヽ
       /::::::::::::;ゝ--──-- 、._/::::::::::::::|
       /,.-‐''"´          \:::::::::::|
     / /           \ ヽ、::::|
    /    ●         ●     ヽ|
     l   , , ,                     l  Ah, this thread is full of cats!
    .|        (_人__丿  """     |
     l        ヽノ            l
    ` 、  /⌒⌒i   /⌒ヽ        /
      `/    |   |    \    /

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 18:52

butthole kitten and the boys

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 20:25

This song is nice.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 22:48

Though the initial Alvin and the Chipmunks album did not sell well and was condemned by the ASPCA, it did prove Ross Bagdasarian's theory that rodents could mimic human speech through the targeted application of high voltage. Though critics often explain away Bagdasarian's results as the result of clever sound editing, over a hundred hours of documentary film footage has recently been uncovered proving that the sounds produced were recorded live and were unaltered, though clearly looped for obvious reasons. The recording process was arduous, with over thirty squirrels perishing in the effort to record the long "e" sound in the chorus (oo ee oo ah ah) of "The Witch Doctor" alone.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 22:59

The dark side of Alvin and the Chipmunks does not end there, of course. "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" borrows heavily from Jonathan Aibel's short story "Gulag Rape Barge," the basic plot elements of which are so unspeakably vile that they cannot be printed even here for risk of this site being shut down as obscene.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 23:05

should have been "framed loosely on" rather than "borrows heavily from." Fuck it. autisssssm.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 23:13

Oh my, I really don't see how people make AA art like this, it seems to hard!

11 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6709 00:13

I see that it's snowing so I figure it's a good day to for hike through the forest. Somehow my dog actually finds me but does not bother to make it known that he is behind me for ten minutes. Then he shook the snow off his back. The sudden sound of his ears flapping in the dead quiet of the forest that I had been experiencing for the last 30 minutes scared the living shit of me.

Asshole dog.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 00:31

Wait, did you just post the same thing on two different websites? Not complaining though, I liked your story. I wish it snowed where I live.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 00:42

What is the other site? I want to look for subtle differences.

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 00:58

>>6 this song is nicer (●´∀`●)

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 01:02

SAoVQ. The only difference is the italic ``finds me'' on the dqn one.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 01:06

Thank you, I overlooked this. It must mean something then.
"finds me" - "find me"? Maybe he is in trouble and can't call for help himself?

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 01:34

Now I'm worried. Should we check to see if he's okay?

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 01:46

Being both a dokyun and VIPPER, he is undoubtedly well-versed in the practice of weaving together COOL FREE WINTER WEAR using only snow and twigs. It's safe to assume that, though he may be lost, he is not necessarily in danger, and will most likely find his way home within the day. And anyway, this is a learning experience from which he may scarcely fail to benefit from.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 02:56

emacs has some nice AA mode.

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 06:18

The golden triangle of VIP, DQN, and LOUNGE --

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 06:21

When will Espeon tell me that she loves me?! I want a sweet, beautiful girl to hold in my arms! I want to love and be loved. The hands of God alone may create and destroy. Man, the Artist, can only reframe. My cat is sleeping on my feet. But my arms, in their rest, hold only pillows.

I drew a picture of Espeon (the Poke) and I have it taped to the wall beside my bed. Every night before I go to sleep I kiss it. If I feel lonely, I pet it like a real cat. I'm not crazy. I'm not fucking crazy.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 06:28

When will Espeon tell me that she loves me?! I want a sweet, beautiful girl to hold in my arms! I want to love and be loved. The hands of God alone may create and destroy. Man, the Artist, can only reframe. My cat is sleeping on my feet. But my arms, in their rest, within every orifice hold only pillows. I drew a picture of Espeon and I'm not crazy. I'm not fucking crazy. Get out of my head, I am not a number. I am a free man! Let me be fabulous through the ends of time and space. Get off my ``back''. You're not my mother. Man enters the world as he leaves it, alone. It's my destiny to live life alone. Espeon, I long for you. Some day I will make the trip to Mother I have it taped to the wall beside my bed. Every night before I(the Poke) go to sleep I kiss it. If I feel lonely, I pet it like a real cat. Russia. I will cross the icy Bering Strait in this boat I made by hand. The matters of love have never been simple. Flair, baby. My body is a temple. Emacs my electric chalkboard and more my electric bible. My brain an electric playground. A proud 0037. Get out of my head, Shii. Otaku named Tokiko "Nameless" book reading youkai, ironically with a name The truth of being cummed inside Spread pleasure deep It's HERE

23 Name: : 1993-09-6709 06:46

Whose eyes are these looking back at me? These hands are cold, they are a dead man's hands. There's nothing like a leper. On the left, the index is longer; on the right, the ring. We are who we will be and have been. The timeline is a lie. There only is the present. We ARE humans, being. We live and live on.

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 07:49

Espeon should post a picture of herself. I, for one, wouldn't mind a sort of mini-waifu alongside Haruhi whom we could all have immediate recourse to.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 08:48

Interesting. What colour is the sky in your world?

26 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6709 09:55

There are no girls on the internet.
Stop pseudo-worshiping a tripfag, it will only egg him on to shit post more posts about himself.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 10:05

Oh how I love chocolate milk...

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 10:18

>>1 i know what song you are referencing and I wish to subcribe to your newsletter.
I mean last.fm

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 10:21

I don't understand shitpost-speak.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 10:44

>>26,26,26 is a triple baka!

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 10:48

My VC is "how"

This perplexes me immensely. I'm not sure how to answer it.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 13:20

Lol, wut?

In his downtime, of which there was a great deal due to the wonders of modern technology, Mike had edited several sections and added much more to his copy of the Emergency Procedures binder. Obviously the first step was to remove the warning to DO NOT ALTER THIS DOCUMENT. Every potential disaster had been covered from Airplane Crash to Zombie Apocalypse in his custom edition. As he flipped through it and found he had woefully neglected to provide an updated index, the thing that struck him most about his present situation was that the police department had hold music on their 9-1-1 line. Cowering beneath his desk, he asked himself "Jesus fuck, is that Brittney Spears?" It was just in time for the operator to hear it.
There was disgusted silence for a second as though this were the eighth hostage situation she had to deal with before ten in the morning. "Hi, Mike? And you're sure this is no one that works there?"

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 13:25

Exasperated, he half yelled and whispered, "What the fuck? Where is the SWAT team? He's killing people!" To prove a point, there were several gunshots followed by screaming in the distance. All that stood between him and the killer tearing up the office was a sturdy door, utterly nullified in its purpose by a glass panel right next to it that went from floor to ceiling. If they kicked it out, anyone could just let themselves in from the outside.
"Right. Mike, has he made any demands?"
"What? I'm not going out to ask!"
"You didn't hear anything?"

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 13:28

Mike laughed nervously, mostly because he had replaced the Air Disaster page of the emergency procedures with the image macro of a very fat black woman captioned They be all like, you need pants to fly along with a checklist that included (3.) Search for survivors (unless pictured above). "I don't fucking know. He was screaming about someone named leon or peon or some shit. Why is no one here yet?!"
"I'm going to have to put you on hold..." the operator said, and before he could insist she wait, the phone begged him to hit me baby, one more time...
"Goddamned cocksucker", Mike whispered, flipping past Anthrax, Band, Anthrax, Biological agent, Apocalypse, 2012, Apocalypse, Traditional, Bomb, Atomic, Bomb, Stink, Bomb Threat... There were more gunshots, more screaming, more yelling.
He heard it clearly this time: Where the fuck is Espeon? You tell that fucker GREY is here!
Gun-wielding maniac would be somewhere after Disco, The Return of and Elephant Rampage...


36 Name: : 1993-09-6709 16:25

You made my weekend, thanks.

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 20:03


38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 20:10

I switched from Mona' to Monapo' and now my DQN looks all blurry.

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 23:48

I am so durr nk s-rjght now It'S æwonderdul please please me <33333 he he

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 02:18

How do you accidentally type that?

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 02:38

Icelandic keyeboard. I puked four times after that and I still feel really, really drunk. Fortunately I have nice friends who followed me home after that and made sure I got home safely. I'm actually so grateful for them right now I could cry from joy.

42 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6710 05:43

Hehe, I like reading this. Thank you.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 22:57

Bakemonogatari is a good anime.

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 00:05

>>43 What is it about? Why do you like it?

45 Name: Cat!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6711 00:13

Oh you, guys! Turned a good thread full of feline SJIS into... into something else

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 01:27

yay espeon is here!

Espeon, give me your signature! Sign out, "To ( ˃ ヮ˂) with love! -espeon" Do it with a pen! And take a photo, or scan it!!!!!

There's a lot of weird characters and the way the story's told is interesting. It's a bunch of genres... surreal, psychological, mystery, horror, comedy, slice-of-life maybe? You should check it out if you have the time. The sequel's airing right now and I love it.


47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 01:27

We sure, did!

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 02:12

>>46 That sounds like my kind of thing, thanks <3

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 02:36

Let's just keep staring at the monitor; if our eyes wander they might encounter what's out there, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?
I'm so much happier sans internet.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 02:38

I have a hard time focusing when I'm not in front of a computer. My social life, my studying, my writing, my entertainment... I feel like I have a much stronger presence online than off it.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 05:07

( ⌒-⌒) >>49 I'm quite the social butterfly with lots of friends!

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 08:26

          ,、       _
        /|      //
      / _⊥ _ _ / /
     / ´O r‐┐O`ヽ/
      !   | | 」」_ l     Chiptune breakcore and ex-girlfriends!!
     ヽ  _|__|_ TT ノ
     (´_` ー─ァ- イ
      `l    し'´ l
         |       | _  ,-、
         |       |´-二_ノ
         l r─‐-、 l
       `´    `′

53 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6711 11:32

Same for me. I even lack individuality when I'm not posting with a tripcode.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 13:07

I just don't understand. Why do you continue to use a tripcode? We'd all almost certainly be able to identify you without it (I honestly doubt there's more than five regular posters here), it doesn't add anything to the discussion, and, with the exception of this guy, it just makes people dislike you.

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 15:21

Are you me?

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 17:53

Koyaanisqatsi is super duper confusing.

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 18:12

Really? Koyaanisqatsi is one of my favourite films. I love Philip Glass's music, the photography is magnificent and the absolute last scene really stuck with me. It's thought provoking, but I wouldn't have said it's confusing as such. What are you super duper confused about?

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 20:41

Espeon's ``fan" here is Tokiko, from /jp/.

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 21:29

America needs a Twelve Girls Band equivalent.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 21:34

I've been wondering, who is Tokiko exactly? So far, I've seen him post on /jp/, /lounge/, /vip/, SAoVQ, world2ch and tohno-chan. Now, on /jp/, he normally uses Tokiko images that are named from 001 to 211, much like these vip-quality.org/tokiko/. Now, that site is run by Archduke, world2ch.org/board/kareha.pl/1309581864/­, what does that mean? I don't know, I'm just talking out of my ass here.

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 21:52

vip-quality.org/tokiko ? I don't see anything there at all.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:00

He's just a generic shitposter trying to make a name from himself in the text board and meta-4chan scene. People like this pop up from time to time and I'll admit it irritates me.
You don't have to collect images from 2004 to qualify yourself as a good poster. There are plenty of people who were around at the time, and we just take it easy.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:40

Holy shit you're right. So he is reading this because right before I posted >>60 and way before that it was perfectly accessible.
I took these screenshots though.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:49

>>63 What's the original japanese song used?

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:49

so I finally shaved after three weeks of letting it grow out and now that I don't look like a homeless any more nobody gives me spare change

i'm disappointed.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:52

You're insane.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 22:59

You're right, I actually regret posting it now, specially because I liked the images on /tokiko. I also feel like I invaded his privacy somehow, I feel sorry and will reconsider my actions from now on.

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 23:04

It's because Tokiko and Archduke are the same person!

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 23:08

That's what I was saying, or implying, genoius. But yeah, looks like I probably offended him and now I feel bad. So if he is reading this, I'll ask him a question; what do you think of SOPA and PIPA?

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 23:35

I'm being watched by Tokiko. I can feel him standing beside my bed. I too scared to look behind me.


72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 23:37

I think that the internet shouldn't be filtered in any way at all, but as long as my computers aren't seized and I can still get my anime...

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 01:44

Snow's unpleasant. For whatever reason, it just kind of freaks me out.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 01:50

I don't know who he is exactly, but we've talked on Steam a few times and I must say he isn't a bad fellow at all.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 02:00

I'm just confused as to where the bikini-clad blondes and CGI robots are.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 02:02

Shiki is a good anime

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 02:34

The "Hey Weirdo, check out "/misc" etc." shows up on Bing cache, by the way.

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 03:25

Alternate stylesheets don't seem to work on Safari 5.1... Pseud0ch is the only one that works but it only seems to save that way at random, usually it's a blank plain text style. It has been that way for me for a good few months. I got a new iMac the day before yesterday and got more excited than is normal to come to DQN and find it on Blue Moon, but when I transferred my user account from my old macbook pro and got everything up to dat it has gone back to being broke...

Can anyone offer any help? I don't want to change browser before anyone suggests that

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 03:47

­>>76 is Tokiko.

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 04:46

I think that happened with Google Chrome a few months ago. I just use Opera, though, so no problems for me

Deadman Wonderland is an alright read so far. The chapters are nice and lengthy.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 04:48

I think that happened with Google Chrome a few months ago. I just use Opera, though, so no problems for me

Deadman Wonderland is an alright read so far. The chapters are nice and lengthy.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 05:07

Hmm, it's odd that Kareha spits out post errors when posts go through just fine. Maybe there's too many posts on the board, or something?

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 08:55

You learn far more about drawing by making raccoons with dicks in MS paint than you do when you carefully craft dreamy cityscapes or detailed starships.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 10:15


85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 18:35


86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 22:14

butthurt ... well, thighhurt to be precise. I need a better desk chair for these long hours of sedentary activity.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 00:31

I need to change my whole life.
I will change my whole life.
Thank you for the Lilly path.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 03:25

Pulling the ice axe from my leg, I staggered on, spindrift stinging my remaining eye. I finally managed to reach the station, only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down. After wondering to myself whether or not it should actually be called a "train replacement service", I walked out onto the concourse and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with - probably by a junior employee. Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM, involving a tug-of-love-custody-battle (Stockard Channing held sway). Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention. I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette, i.e. sidle out of the store gingerly, embrace the margin. Fat kids with sausage rolls, Poor sods conducting polls...
There’s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets.

I try to put everything into perspective; set it against the scale of human suffering, and I thought of the Mugabe government, and the children of the Calcutta railways. This works for a while, but then I encounter Primark FM. Overhead a rainbow appears. In black and white.

I got a letter from Stringy Bob: “Still on suicide watch. Screws not happy. Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association. Was roundly ignored. What news you?” I felt sorry for him. He’d only been locked up for public nuisance offences, one of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary; found a dead wading bird, took it home, parcelled it up, and sent it off to that rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool, with a note inside which read: “Is this your Sanderling?”

Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press: “Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc. Must be committed, no time wasters”. You can guess the rest.

I’d always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills, to be found months later, his carcass stripped by homeless dogs, his exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow. I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket. All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark.

May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 04:50

Sieg heil dude!

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 07:44

I feel somewhat guilty using google's cache to browse Wikipedia during the SOPA blackout. The only thing I've done to stop SOPA is halfheartedly post about it on facebook

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 11:25

I'm not American, I don't know about this SOPA thing.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 17:10

Americans aren't aware of it either.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 18:02

Calculus is less satisfying than algebra.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 19:41

Pakistani bus crash was Japanese conspiracy! Japanese bus manufacturer in collaboration with Pakistani bus maker! Accident celebrates 100th anniversary of invention of bus and landing of eagle on two foxes shrine in Kyoto!

Conclusive evidence: batshitinsanity.geocities.jp/japansconspiracy/2011/115.html#page_1029

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 12:08

Espeon hasn't ever told me that she loves me... I wonder if she already has a boyfriend. Or, even worse, if she loves another dokyun. She must be very cute. I just know she is.

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 14:26

Wish that fuken shit was over, lol, but it's never gonna happen. ;_;

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 15:44

Green tea is so nice. I love green tea.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 15:49

But calculus is just an application of algebra... ?

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 17:59

She just teases you. I heard that all girls do that.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 19:04

There's a cell phone tower by the supermarket nearest my house. It's disguised as a palm tree. I forget it's there every time and every time I spot it again, I shout out loud: "That's a fake palm tree!"

It has been there for years.

I think I might be retarded guys. Seriously. Fuck that aspergers self-diagnosis. I'm going for the goal: full-on retard. The beauty is they can't take that one away from you. They can't say you're functional. There's no arguing with it. It's big and loud and all it wants is cake...

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