>>83 is a Famicom that was never used for computing anyone's family.
>>84 has 640 kilobytes of RAM, which ought to be enough for anybody.
>>87 still runs on PC-DOS, because his user claims that no other operating system could ever come close to its perfection.
>>89 Runs on UNIX. Not Linux or BSD or any of that new-fangled stuff, but honest-to-God UNIX.
>>90 dual-boots FreeBSD and OpenBSD, because his user has multiple personalities who hate each other.
>>96 understands that Slackware is the superior OS. Viva ``Bob"!
>>102 Became useless when a password was forgotten by all users.
The static electricity from >>104's computer monitor led to really messed up fur.
>>106
Can only perform as a 4-function calculator, despite being the size of a small car.
>>107
Was the best performing laptop in his price range, however due to a poor LCD screen he sold only in small numbers. He now has a cult following and is collected by computer geeks worldwide.
>>111 is victim of serious data corruption, tricking it into believing that gcc is a webpage renderer.
>>113 Pushes his hardware to the limit by playing "Oregon Trail"
>114 has a pebble stuck in its fan
>>115's keyboard has cereal crumbs stuck underneath every other key
>>117 was used in calculating the thirty-seventh Mersenne prime.
>>123 has never felt the breeze running through his hair, or the gentle warmth of sunlight on his skin. This is probably something to do with the fact that he doesn't have hair or skin.
>>124 regularly has his framerate drop into the single digits when opening the seven hundredth browser tab.
>>125 still uses a printer where both sides of the paper have holes punched in them.
>>127 got a virus that caused his text to speech engine say "I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"