[CYOA] Choose Your Own Adventure! [Collaborative] (126)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7048 01:11

You are peacefully browsing DQN on a Saturday afternoon when you hear a strange noise downstairs. Like a really loud grumbling stomach. That's strange, you thought nobody was home.

To go downstairs inspect the noise, go to >>2.

To ignore the noise and continue browsing DQN, go to >>3.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7163 12:25

and furthermore, butts.

The bird dog consumes you and leaves your bones on the rocks below the perch (Though it's smoked salmon not perch). Go to the land of the double dead >>370

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7170 23:51

And it just keeps on coming, and it keeps on coming, and it don't stop coming and it falls down the slope.
Freedom in the solemn house,
Growing in the slalom chair,
Ivy clads the secretion chaps,
Potion of the gamete steps.

Stop. Start. Don't look right or back.

Wait. Scream. You can't exist here.

You wake up at >>67.

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7175 23:40

You are surrounded by little crawling creatures with a thousand tiny legs tickling your bare skin. You are paralyzed. They slither into your orifices and between your organs.

To pray to the lord, go to >>76
Butts, go to >>77
To let it keep coming, go to >>78

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 00:10

Welcome to your SECRET HIDEOUT! You are a murderer of ILL REPUTE.

The TV is smelly and smoke wafts through the broken screen window. You step over an amalgamation of crumpled socks and pizza napkins. Your hair is greasy and the flow of water is little more than a trickle. You are consumed by an off-yellow sofa.

To reflect on your sins, go to >>82.
To fashion a bone mask from the dead bodies in the closet forest, go to >>43.
To post a new CONTENTLESS thread on DQN, go to >>81.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7320 04:28

Please enter a verification code.

To enter yeickive, go to >>81.
To enter DQN, go to >>3.
To enter the secret cheat code, go to >>r0.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7320 15:10

You are at the reflecting pond.

To cast a gold coin into the reflecting pond, go to >>83.
To cast a bone into the reflecting pond, check out >>84.
To leave the reflecting pond, go to >>85.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7320 15:13

You don't have any gold coins.

>>82

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7320 15:22

As a secret murdered, you have plenty of bones. You pull out one of them and toss it into the reflecting pond.

There is a low rumble and the sound of a thousand dying goats screeching miles away. The pond turns red with blood and the ripples begin to coagulate and fold over themselves in horribly gooey mess. The room is filled with deathstench.

From the depths of the reflecting blood pond an ancient horror rises slowly, blood dripping from its unspeakable multitude of horns. Its many nostrils flare and squirt dark acidic phlegm.

WHAT IS YOUR DESIRE the Blood God booms.

To request entrance to the Blood God's realm, go to >>86.
To request the Blood God's Power, go to >>87.
To purchase the Blood God's Tea Set, go to >>88.

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7320 15:25

You are a murderer of ILL REPUTE. You are roaming the streets aimlessly.

To go back to your secret hideout, check out >>80.
To murder some dudes, go to >>89.
To go to church, saunter on over to >>92.

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7365 10:04

"I desire unending power," you declare boldly.

ALL POWER COMES WITH A PRICE booms Blood God.

You taste iron rising in the back of your throat.

"I have sacrificed countless DQNs for you. If you lend me your power I will sacrifice even more."

The blood god laughs a lewd laugh. The floor shakes, your ears ring. It is an unchaste chuckle, a gangrenous guffaw. The laugh drips with snot and semen. You feel and see your veins pulsing.

AS YOU WISH, MORTAL. EVERY DAY YOU MUST CONSUME ONE MORE LIFE TO SUSTAIN YOUR POWER

Ecstatic energy shoots from your toe to your skull. A murderous mania. A hypertension hype. A blazing bloodlust. Your vision is blinded by a deep, thick red. You vomit copper and sandstone. Power surges through you.

Congratulations, you are now an unholy demidemon!

You regain consciousness in a shanty of Liberia. You hunger for death. Now to choose your victim of the day.

To murder a man, make your way to >>135
To waste a woman, why not >>112
To checkmate a child, check out >>181

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7365 10:12

"I desire entry to your realm," you declare boldly.

ONLY THE TRULY FOUL MAY FROLIC HERE booms Blood God.

You taste iron rising in the back of your throat.

"I have sacrificed countless DQNs. I tire of such simple fare. Now I'm after a bigger prey. You."

The blood god laughs a lewd laugh. The floor shakes, your ears ring. It is an unchaste chuckle, a gangrenous guffaw. The laugh drips with snot and semen. You feel and see your veins pulsing.

AS YOU WISH, MORTAL. I WILL ENJOY CONSUMING YOU.

Effervescent eggs crack over your skull. A masturbating monkey. A hypoglycemic hipdter. A backhanded bathtub. Your vision is blinded by a deep, thick red. You vomit copper and sandstone. You fall into the pool of blood.

You regain consciousness in the blood god's realm. You are surrounded by pain and torture.

Piss your pants! >>136
Fight the father! >>144

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7365 10:45

"One tea set, please!" you chirp cheerily. What a fool. You mixed up >>86 and >>87. Warm flavored water will not save you now.

THAT WILL BE 666 BONES booms Blood God.

You toss two times thirty three times eleven bones into the blood pool.

The blood god laughs a lucky laugh. The walls shake, your earrings jingle. It is a charming chuckle, a gracious guffaw. The laugh drips with petticoats and juniper. You feel and see your pinkies pulsing.

AS YOU WISH, MORTAL.

A tiny terrifying tea tray tumbles out the pool, followed by creatively reddened saucers, teacups, teapots, and assorted bloodverware. He even throws in blood powder teabags.

You have obtained the Blood God's Tea Set!

The pool dims, the blood god sinks back into his dreary depths.

To host a tea party, skip to >>222

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7406 04:07

As a murderer of ILL REPUTE, it is only natural that you wish to kill some dudes.

You set out in search of dudes, but the street is empty and devoid of movement, save for a few dancing autumn leaves and parabolic pepper birds swooping like pendulums. The air smells crisp and fiery. The concrete is cracked. You shiver slightly.

You walk until you come to a busy intersection. Cars, taxis, buses and trucks speed to and fro, splashing puddles and smelling of gasoline. These dudes are too fast to murder.

You take a right and continue on, past shuttered storefronts and empty lots. You try every door. Eventually, you find an unlocked door, which leads into a narrow, dirty lacquer hallway. You hear vague sounds in the distance, it's so muffled that you can't tell if it's an argument or just normal conversation. You walk toward the noise.

Dim fluorescent lights flicker overhead. You pass nameless gray doors with faded labels. A fragrance of stale Chinese food and sawdust wafts through your nostrils.

At the end of the hallway is a rickety steel grid staircase, spiraling down and up into a dim vertical corridor. The sounds are coming from above or below, you can't tell which.

To go up, >>93.

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90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7406 04:22

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91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7406 04:36

ˆæˆæˆæThˆæe exquisite bone armor protecˆæ tsyoˆæu from the incoˆæming waves of tanasinn. You ræeady your exquiæˆæsite bone knife and charge at Doraemon, who is cracking the egg of devourpain and moaning.

You thrust the exquisite blade into the tanasinn yolk. You shed a tear for your fallen bearshark buddies, but the tear dissolves into tanasinn. Doreamon screams in pleasurepain as he begins to dissolve with everything else. The tanasinn yolk glows a brilliant white, and rays of tanasinn begin to gush out. You are blindeˆæˆæd bˆæyvˆæˆæˆæ
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You wake up at >>667.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7406 09:26

You arrive at the large, ornate, ivory-and-shit steps of a big church. Tææaæsinæ speaks to you:

"Hello."

To immediately quit the creature's presence, go to >>104
To ˆææ where noææe haæˆ goæne bˆforæˆæˆ, go æˆ >>106

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7407 07:41

You climb up the stairs. With each step, your desire to murder wanes. The steps continue for ages, with no end in sight, but your legs do not fatigue. Rather, they feel lighter and lighter. A pleasant scent fills the air. Eventually, you look up and can see the ceiling. It is bright and blue, like the sky. There is also a ledge, but you can't see over it.

You look back down through the steel grid, and see nothing but stairs. The air is thin. You feel like you've been climbing for miles.

The sounds have gotten louder. Brief bursts of laughter, like an audience watching stand-up comedy. But the laughter is the same each time. A recording?

You climb up the remaining steps, and see what looks like the entrance of a theater. Large ornate doors padded with green felt. There is a young, well-dressed usher blocking the entrance. She has fiery red hair and a severe but kind face.

"Your ticket, please, sir," she says.

You notice there is an infernal ticket booth in the right wall.

To murder the usher, go to >>98
To fall in love with the usher, go to >>95
To buy a ticket, go to the infernal ticket booth at >>123

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7407 08:04

You press the tempting red button. The giant doors slide open dramatically, smoke hissing out and blocking the view. You back up slowly. You hear the hideous screech of rusty gears turning. A robotic voice booms.

[KILL AND DESTROY]

Out of the smoke emerges a hideous deathbot! It looks like a steel crab mounted on a tank. Fortunately, it is moving quite slowly.

You glance over to Layla, she's still unconscious on the ground.

To grab Layla and run out the way you came, escape to >>409!
To bravely stay and battle the robot, get over to >>75!

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7407 08:21

A tingle of nervous gratification shoots along your nerves. The feeling of oppression that had burdened you is lifted. Despite yourself, you fall deeply in love with the usher. Butterflies copulate in your stomach. Blood rushes from your head to your heart. Your murderous rage is overwhelmed and replaced by boundless desire. You wish nothing more than to give yourself to this usher.

"I, uh, I," you stammer. "I, I, I,"

She smiles and cocks her head questioningly and it nearly makes you melt.

"Er, I, uh, I," you continue.

"If you don't have a ticket, you can purchase one at the infernal ticket booth to your right," she says, gesturing helpfully to the vacant glass window.

To shout, "I love you!" go to >>108.
To sheepishly buy a ticket, go to the infernal ticket booth at >>122.
To ask her on a date to the land of the dead, go to >>665.

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7450 01:37

You stumble breathlessly into a warm red room with mauve curtains over a large bed. Phalli cover the walls, hidden in shadows, illuminated occasionally by a spinning disco ball. You collapse onto the bed. An Indian raga begins to play. It is an evening raga.

To fall asleep, go to >>96.
To sing with the raga, go to >>97.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7453 05:43

Rock the casbah, you sing, significantly out of key with no rhythm and wit lyrics that are indecipherable only too late to realize that th song was by Elton John and not the Clash at all.
The ghost of Joe Strummer comes back to curse you.
To run go to >>463
To try to eat your stylish hat go to >>493

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7468 02:54

You lunge at the usher, but she's three steps ahead of you, already dodging to your right, hooking your arm and sweeping your leg. She twists her hips and flips you headfirst into the ground. Before you can react, she is already sitting on your back, her arm gripping your neck. You can barely breathe. You flail your legs in vain.

She leans down into your ear and whispers, "Your ticket, please, sir."

If you possess a bone knife or exquisite bone weapon, go to >>103
If you possess a Sexy Bear Photo, go to >>105
Otherwise, go to >>107

99 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7680 16:19

YOU HAVE BROUGHT DISHONOR UPON YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR LORD

THERE REMAINS BUT ONE OPTION TO RESTORE HONOR

THE BLADE WHICH SINGS IN THE MOONLIT POND

THE BLADE WHICH SUFFERS QUIETLY

THE BLADE WHICH STEALS AWAY THE 99 GET

THE BLADE PLUNGES INTO YOUR ORGANS

THE BLADE EVISCERATES YOUR MEATY FLESHY LIFE-GIVING MANPARTS

THE LIGHT FADES FROM YOUR EYES

HONOR IS RESTORED

YOU HAVE DIED

*** The End ***

100 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8031 05:12

You try to draw a 🍲 in square B8 but you suck at drawing and you're not sure if B refers to the second column or the second row so you end up just scribbling all over the paper and bleeding ink out of your nose.

Then you remember: you murdered your sister.

You monster.

You horrible monster.

Well, never mind that. You're standing stupidly in a forest and it's starting to get dark. You should probably get a move on.

To go yet deeper into the forest, >>109
To try to escape the forest, >>110

101 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8032 16:37

You draw 🌌 on what you think is the D4 square, a breathtaking mountanious landscape against the ever-so-starry milky way rendered in such a small size, that it needs to be zoomend in 40 times to actually distinguish the picture.

Your job resulted so precise and detailed that you declare yourself the victor of sudoku, even though you don't particularly understand what sudoku is. You fold the sheet of sudoku and stuff it in your pocket. Your inventory now shows INCOMPLETE SUDOKU SHEET (1X).

You feel the need to show off your sudoku victory to someone. Hey didn't you have a sister somewhere? Oh.

To look for someone else in the forest to show off your sudoku victory go to >>109
To bring your murdered sister back to life in order to show off your sudoku victory go to >>121
To cash-in on your sudoku victory, please go to >>111 and collect the GET.

102 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8058 22:39

As you start to fill in the graph at G6 with 🎸 your opponent tells you this is not a valid move.
He assaults you with a fist full of his silver general and pikemen tiles insulted that you've picked up the board and are drawing on it.
He begins to beat you with his stool.
He then beats you with his poop.
The last thing you remember is when the thoughts left your mind and you were left only with feelings. >>37

103 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8134 06:22

"And furthermore what kind of dirigible has such eldritch noise coming from its engines?" you exclaim filing your complaint through the stewardess' eye.
The entirety of the other passengers are alerted by the bloodcurdling scream that follows and all three of them rush over to you.
The two hooded ones bend over and begin devouring the newly deceased with their proboscises while the anthropologist takes notes.

To learn about the culture of the man-eating beasts go to >>147
To run like hell go to >>139
To jump go to >>90

104 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8243 05:07

You decide to quit his presence
By quitting your life >>37

105 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8279 15:38

Unflattered the woman loos ponderously at the image impervious to the horny bear that is sidling up behind her, too late she hears the roar as he penetrates her in the middle rending her body in twain.

To pass through the threshold go to >>198

Actually I wanted to go down >>90

106 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8279 16:51

You are a murderer of ILL REPUTE.

You slowly walk closer to Tææaæsinæ.

It speaks again.

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@ @@ / /@/ æˆæˆæˆæˆæˆæ@æ
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@@@.‚µ‚µf@@@@@@@@@@æ

the mutilated corpses of unrecoæˆisable creatures drip out of its VOIDˆæˆBODY. You catch yourself staring into the VOIDˆæˆBODY.

To continue staring into the VOID BODY, go to >>113.
To snap out of it, look Tææaæsinæ. in the eyes and answer "yesˆI wænt to feel the power", go to >>115

107 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8279 16:59

Oops! Look like you've been caught empty-handed!

"Umm, I forgot to buy a ticket?" you stammer hopefully.

The usher tightens her grip. Your vision grows fuzzy as the oxygen cuts off from your brain. You struggle to speak but can only sputter. She grabs even tighter. You struggle briefly, but your limbs rapidly grow limp...

YOU HAVE DIED

THE END

108 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8642 16:18

That is unprofessional she says, unsheathing a large cricket bat, ext as you know
>>37

109 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 01:10

You march deeper into the forest. The moon is judging you. Fuck you moon, you think to yourself sullenly. You stroke your eleven bone knives to reassure yourself. You hear a slithering, crawling noise, like an army of a million bugs in the distance. It is coming from all around you. You feel dizzy and break into a run. You trip over a branch and fall down a steep hill. You roll on the ground and into a deep pit.

It is cold and pitch black here. You lie on the ground groaning. Then a voice speaks.

"LOLLIPOP, LOLLIPOP, BAKER'S BREAD," it intones. "GIVE ME A SLICE AND I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD."

To respond with your own clever rhyme, go to >>114
To stab at the voice with one of your eleven bone knives, try >>116

110 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 01:19

Enough of this madness. Staying in this forest will only lead to crazier things, you realize. It's time to get out of here.

You remember what your grandfather Pete once told you. "To escape a forest, find running water and follow it downstream." You listen for the sound of running water. The forest is quiet. So quiet.

Then you hear...

"There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the Bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire..."

Wow, it's the 1978 euro disco hit single by the Germany-based pop and euro disco group Boney M! With your eyes still closed, you let yourself get swept into the music and start to dance.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey..."

Nobody ever finds your body.

BAD END

111 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 01:30

OH BABY, A TRIPLE!
Welcome to the GET warp zone.
You may use this area to warp to any another triple number GET.

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

@

SECRET DEBUG MENU
>>93
>>465
>>722

112 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 01:45

You decide your first bloody meal should be a beautiful female virgin. That's the tradition, right? Or at least it should be a beautiful woman. Okay, maybe just a woman is okay too. Best not to set your standards too high yet, considering that you're new to the whole killing-to-gain-infernal-power thing.

You walk around the streets of Liberia. People recoil in horror at the sight of you, probably because you are naked and covered with dried blood. And a few bits of cucumber. At this rate you're never going to be able to get close to a woman. Maybe you should rethink your approach, and get cleaned up first. If you stand out to much, you'll definitely become a target. You might be a demigod, but you're not immortal. On the other hand, you feel your immense power slowly draining away, and you thirst for blood to refill it...

To just chase after the first woman you see and murder her in broad daylight, go to >>118
To clean yourself up and get a disguise first, go to >>119

113 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 01:53

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114 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 02:36

"Jack be nimble, Jack be swell, Jack be hung and sleeps in hell!" you respond. You are winded and your voice is weak, but the voice hears you and laughs.

"ROSE IS RED AND SO IS BLoOd, I'LL EAT YOU WITH A SIDE OF MUD." You can smell it now, it reeks of musk and rotting flesh.

"Ladybug, ladybug, leave me alone, you smell real bad and I have knives of bone!" you threaten, readying one of your bone knives.

The voice roars and you reflexively stab upwards. Miraculously the blade connects just as the beast is leaping onto you. It slides into the creature's flesh and glowing red blood leaks out. The light from the blood illuminates the room, and you can see that the creature's sharp teeth are only inches from your face. The beast struggles and trashes, so you quickly pull out another bone knife and stab its neck before it can bite your head off. The beast howls in pain and collapses heavily onto the floor. You roll away just in time. It struggles a bit longer, then breathes its last breath.

For killing the RHYMING BEAST, you have gained 1 skill point! You may allocate it to one of the following skill trees:

  • Knivesmanship
  • Bonesmanship
  • Jurisprudence

(Keep track of your skills by using the handy reference chart at >>117.)

You pull out the knife from the beast's stomach. You now have Bone Knife (x9) and Glowing Bloody Bone Knife (x1). You use the Glowing Bloody Bone Knife to look around the room. The walls are too steep to climb, so you can only go deeper into the cave. You do that.

Eventually you come to an underground river. There's an old paddle boat half-heartedly moored to a rotting dock.
>>120 Get in the boat and paddle downstream.
>>224 Get in the boat and paddle upstream.

115 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 02:43

تاناسين ولد في عالم يتجاوز كل شيء، ويطل على كل شيء، وتقديم مشاعر القلق والخوف Tanasin was born in a world that transcends everything, overlooking everything, and offering feelings of anxiety, fear and despair to everything
It is the end after the beginning, the area that exists but does not exist
You can not see Tanasin with your eyes
I can not touch it, I can not hear it, I can not escape
We do not know the art of Tanasin any one with any language on earth
You can not tell Tanasin even if you use all the emotions, memories, events and actions of the world
I feel it. Just this moment.
You do not have to think about anything.
You do not have to tell me anything.
You do not have to consider anything
You do not have to ask anything.
You do not have to touch anything
Դուք չունեք հաղորդագրություն փակցնելու >>667 համար անհրաժեշտ է մտածել մի բանի մասին.
You do not need to do the tone.
I feel it. Just a world spread in front of you
Do not be afraid of Tanasin
He does not flee because he is afraid of Tanasin.
I realized that fear is the weakness of my heart
I was afraid of Tanasin because you look at Tanasin
Tanasin knows everything
The meaning of living in this world. Deep psychology of human beings. The conflict of fear and expectation is unknown.معنى العيش في هذا العالم. علم النفس العميق للبشر. الصراع من الخوف والتوقع غير معروف.

116 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 02:48

You swing into the darkness but hit only air! The beast is enraged by your feeble attempt and mauls you. It ruthlessly sinks its heavy jaws into your neck. Your skin breaks and you try to cry out in a pain but nothing comes out. It bites harder and your head is severed from the rest of your body.

YOU HAVE DIED

117 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 04:29

SKILL CHART
You start with 0 skill points and level 0 in each category. Gain skill points throughout the story. Spend one skill point to increase by one level in a category of your choice.

Knivesmanship

  1. Throatism
    Instantly kill most living creatures by slitting their throat. If they let you get close enough.
  2. Throwism
    Quickly and accurately throw a knife up to 10 meters away. You can throw farther than that at the cost of accuracy and strength.
  3. Knife climbing
    Using two knives, you can scale any penetrable vertical surface.
  4. Pierce
    Your knives can pierce anything in the world.
  5. Master chef
    Your kitchen knife skills allow you to cut vegetables and meat in the most delicious way possible. Any food you prepare with knives will be so delicious that even your worst enemy cannot resist eating it.

Bonesmanship

  1. Hard Boner
    Bone weapons and armor that you wield are ten times more durable than before.
  2. Boneshaping
    Morph bones and fuse them together into any shape you please.
  3. Exquisite Bonecrafting
    Craft exquisite bone tools even when using normal, non-exquisite bones.
  4. Bonemancy
    Summon bones from the Bone World at the cost of blood.
  5. Bone Animation
    Animate, control, and give orders to bones, such as creating an army of skeletons or bone tanks. Doesn't work on bones that are still part of a living creature.

Jurisprudence

  1. Remote Legislation
    At any time you may propose a new law by writing it down on and offering it to the Gods of Law. The Gods will make the law appear for deliberation at the next local city council meeting (once a week).
  2. Emergency Council
    Laws you propose by remote legislation will be deliberated upon immediately.
  3. Strong Rhetoric
    Laws you propose are ten times more likely to pass.
  4. Divine Intervention
    Laws you pass will be enforced not only by local law enforcement, but also by the Gods of Law themselves. (Note, however, that even the Gods have limits on what they can do...)
  5. Monarchy
    Laws you propose will be immediately accepted 100% of the time.

118 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 04:58

There's one! There's a woman! She's a little chubby and middle-aged, and probably not a virgin, but she'll have to do. As soon as she sees you running toward her, she screams and runs in the other direction. But you're much faster. You have the power of a demidemon, after all. You tackle her to the ground and bite her neck. You bite and bite again until she stops screaming. Blood is everywhere. You feel your whole body pulse with power. You easily rip apart her body as if it was tofu. People stare from a distance in horror. Somebody has gone running to get the local Liberian warlord for help. But you don't notice this. You are focused on dismembering the dead woman. You rip out her heart and take a big bite out of it.

You feel a sharp sting in your back. Many sharp stings. Like an army of bees. You turn around angrily and see that you are being shot with an AK-47. The local Liberian Warlord has shown up with a small army. Now more AK-47s come out and they all shoot you in a deafening chorus of bullets. Your skin has been hardened by your recent bloodfeast, but the endless onset of bullets threatens to pierce your skin and tear you to pieces.

>>200 RETREAT!
>>201 ATTACK!

119 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8735 04:39

You go back to the shanty, but there is no shower or running water of any kind. Nor is there anything you could use as a disguise. You're determined to get cleaned up though, and you don't want to be seen. You decide to head into the forest. It takes you hours, but you eventually find a mountain stream. Perfect!

You bathe in the stream, using a rock to scrub off all the blood. It takes a while, but you feel so much fresher afterward. You air dry on the shore, then start cobbling together a shrubbery disguise from leaves and vines. Unfortunately your unholy power is more suited to murder than it is to tailory, and before you know it the day has already ended! You feel all the life force draining out of your body. Your vision dims and you collapse...

YOU HAVE DIED

120 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8735 04:57

As you paddle downstream, the current grows faster and faster. You hear the unmistakable roaring of a waterfall. You desperately try to paddle to shore, but the rapids are too strong! A bright light blinds your vision... You plunge out of the cave and over a gigantic waterfall.

You open your eyes and see a breathtaking view of a majestic forest. For a few glorious moments, you are suspended in freefall. The world is bright and beautiful.

Then you hit the water and everything is dark and chaos. Violent currents toss you around like a sock puppet. You struggle and flail but the raging whirlpool only sucks you deeper. A sharp rock bashes into your head and you pass out and drown.

YOU HAVE DIED

121 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8735 05:56

It's necromancy time!
You try to revive your dead sister but only succeed in bumping an old thread on DQN.
Unfortunately nobody cares. The thread slowly sinks to the bottom once again, ignored and forgotten.

THE END

122 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8749 06:50

You approach the infernal ticket booth. It's basically just a vending machine, but more fiery and ominous.

There's only two buttons:
>>125 "BUY TICKET (costs 1 soul)"
>>126 "BUY TICKET (costs 1 sexy bear photo)"

(Note: you may only select the second option if you have a Sexy Bear Photo in your inventory.)

123 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8749 06:53

You approach the infernal ticket booth. It's basically just a vending machine, but more fiery and ominous.

There's only two buttons:
>>125 "BUY TICKET (costs 1 soul)"
>>126 "BUY TICKET (costs 1 sexy bear photo)"

(Note: you may only select the second option if you have a Sexy Bear Photo in your inventory.)

But wait! There's a tiny third button in the corner, barely visible. In fact, if you had let yourself be distracted by something silly like falling in love, you probably wouldn't even have noticed it!

>>127 "DEVELOPER OPTIONS"

124 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9059 04:57

@@@@@| _
@@@@@|„DM) No one is here.
@@@@@|¼ I can dance now !
@@@@@|

@@@@ô@™@@@@@
@@@ô@^ _@@@ RANTA TAN
@@@ R(L„DM;)É @@RANTA TAN
@@@@@(@ ‚Ö) @@@RANTA RANTA

      ‚­ @@@@@@TAN

@@ô@™

ô@^ _@@@RANTA RANTA
Ri;L„DMjɁ@@RANTA TAN
(‚ց@ ) @@@RANTA TANTA
>@@@@TAN

DANCING END

125 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9825 02:33

You press the "BUY TICKET (costs 1 soul)" and immediately the machine starts vibrating violently. A compartment in the machine slides open and a tentacle shoots out and shoves itself down your throat and begins sucking your soul out of your body.

You are now soulless. You are no longer in love with the usher.

The tentacle retracts, the compartment shuts, and a ticket comes out of a slot below. It is printed on cheap recycled paper and just says "TICKET". I guess that's all your soul was worth.

You bring the ticket to the usher, who accepts your ticket. The large ornate doors swing open. The inside is dark, and you cannot see within. You go into the theater.

It is smaller than you expected. There are 10 rows of seats. The screen is blank, and the seats are empty, despite the laughter you heard earlier.

>>129 Sit near the front.
>>130 Sit near the back.
>>131 Sit near the middle.

126 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10360 04:42

You hand over the bear revenge porn and quickly shuffle to the back in shame.

>>130

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