Last night I stayed with my girlfriend at her parents' house, and I dreamt that I was having sex with someone, and I could push a button and my sexual partner changed through different people, and I flicked through until it was a fat old granny, and I was pumping away then I woke up and realised I'd ejaculated in my girlfriend's parents' guest bed.
I lied about brushing my teeth in the morning because I didn't want it to seem like I was laying in bed having not accomplished anything for the 2 hours after I'd woken up which then made it so that I couldn't brush my teeth without exposing the lie, and so I felt gross all day.
My ultimate sexual fantasy is to go back in time and NTR myself. To steal my teenage girlfriend and make her orgasm over and over with my superior sexual prowess as my younger self watches and masturbates.
I stayed up late on the internet again instead of studying.
( ;_;)
the poo in a butt thread is my most successful one yet.
>>356
Sucks to be you. As for myself, I started the original "post your lewd thoughts" and "1000 things LSD stands for" threads on SAOVQ!
I have downloaded several hundred gigabytes of animu over the past week. Some of it is old classics I've never gotten around to watching, some of it is guilty pleasures, and some of it is just random stuff I legitimately can't remember why I decided to get. I don't watch animu all that much anyway, and judging from past downloading binges, I feel a great deal of doubt as to whether I'll ever watch it all before I die.
Somehow there is more guilt in my heart from the wasted bandwidth than the fact that I illegally obtained the products of thousands upon thousands of hours of highly skilled labor without paying for any of it.
>>360
There's something satisfying about mass downloading shit. I recently downloaded a 23 gigabyte torrent of old PC-98 games only to discover that emulation is shit on OSX so I'll probably never actually play any of them.
One thing I've learned about the internet is to never assume stuff will be around forever... It might not be such a bad idea to mass-download animu and save it for a day when it's not available anymore.
Digital hoarding is also a lot less troublesome than actual hoarding.
>>361 I found using Parallels Desktop to run Windows XP on my mac was good for playing PC-98 games
I once translated an ero manga and it was a lot of fun. I wish I could do more, but it's pretty much impossible now that I'm married and working full time.
I had a Japanese girlfriend for a while. One day after I told her a little about my day, she said "Oooo, you were rucky!" and I had the hardest time not laughing.
When I was a little autistic kid watching tv, I'd sometimes focus so hard on trying to read a character's face that when I randomly remember some scene I watched back then, that character's face would be perfectly still, and its arms would go from down at its sides to flailing randomly all over and then back to its sides.
A waitress was asking me whether I want soup or salad, but I thought she was saying super salad, so I just said "yes," and everyone laughed at me.
It still kind of weirds me out to think that James Rolfe has a kid.
I always snicker a bit at the video game title "Altered Beast" since, at least where I come from, the word "altered" when applied to an animal is used as a euphemism for "neutered".
Sometimes when I go to the bathroom I sing "For He's A Jolly Good" in my head but with the lyrics changed to "I gotta go to the bathroom"
I still wish that TVs had those cool knob settings that changed how the screen looked. You could change the hue of the video, the sharpness, the contrast, and even the white balance that was used.
>>376
It's not knobs, but on most TVs you can still usually adjust most of that stuff if you dig through the menus.
Knobs were brilliant. CRTs were brilliant. I had a crusty old 1600x1200 CRT for Mac OS 9.2 before the LCD resolution. (that was a pun)
All this talk of knobs makes me think of the British slang meaning of the word.
I'm always thinking of knobs, if by knobs you mean dicks
The real reason I don't use facebook/social media is because I'm afraid that one day I'll be fapping away and accidentally hit that "share this on facebook" button that every single porn tube site has for some godawful reason.
I just spent a week's salary on cute frilly clothes for crossdressing purposes.
I find it weird to see "Lol" written. "lol" or "LOL", sure, but "Lol" is just kind of weird.
I know a couple people who use "LoL"
I don't clean up with a tissue after I jerk. Instead, I lick my hand clean.
>>387
That's okay if they're referring to League of Legends rather than Laugh Out Loud.
Use of enjambment in a haiku really disgusts me but google suggests my distaste is not as widely shared as I had thought.
Barfed so hard noodles came out of my nose
lol
Sometimes when I'm writing a text message and the auto-correct/auto-suggested word is particularly funny I just leave it in on purpose so I can make a "ducking autocorrect LOL" joke. Earlier it changed "Kroger" (a regional grocery store chain) to "Korea", which I thought was funny since my message ended up reading something about walking to Korea to buy bread.
I would like to use services from a certain small LLC, but I don't want to tie my personal brand to theirs.
use of enjambment in a
haiku really irks
me, but it's quite popular
When I was a kid I thought Hitler was a title instead of some dictator's name, since "hit" is a violent action and all sorts of people get called Hitler for frivolous reasons.
Woke up, farted, and then sat up right into the fart cloud.
I have no friends.
I've posted a lie in this thread just to have something to post in this thread.
Sometimes I'll turn on one of those secret life of kittens shows just to listen to my cat growl at them.
Sometimes I'm writing a sentence or something in English and trying to think of a word a Japanese word comes into my head first, then I have to think of an English word for that word and get kinda bummed out when it's actually like three words.
I've never even been to Japan, 2018 is weird.
I still play minecraft sometimes.
If you sign up,
You can earn $1,000,000 too.
http://goo.gl/YLysV3
I sometimes get a half-chub while holding my cat. It's not that I want to fuck my cat, but the sensation of being so intimately physically close with another mammal is really stimulating and is something otherwise lacking in my miserable life.
Doom (the 90s one) is my favorite game, and I replayed it countless times.
I always leave one ice cube in the tray because I don't want to refill it.
I kind of like your genre, but I sure as hell don't know the scene.
I had something really lame, but I forgot it.
I just named a script that slightly randomizes a planet's position Dudge the Spoobnumby.
I am dissatisfied with every e-book reader I've seen, but I also don't believe I could make or commission a better one if I tried.
I just beamed brunch, the gayest meal of the day, directly into my mouth.
The main reason I'm not into alcohol is that I want to give all of them a fair shake, but I couldn't justify getting drunk that often.
I ran out of science in Kerbal
When I was in high school, I played WoW obsessively. Like I'd come home, fire up the game, and play til it was time for bed. One day I had to read some report about the Cold War out loud to my history class and literally could not stop myself from calling it the "Warsong Pact" about 20 times in 3 minutes.
I used a tall glass of oats as a fleshlight and I'd do it again
captcha: relube
I just wrote a lenghty post about a recent dream I had, detailing it's emotional impact on my currently ailing mind/pointless life, only to withold it, afterall.
It felt too personal and crude. I'd have felt too nude publishing it, anonymity be damned.
It's a lame thing, but I can't bring myself to discuss too personal matters on the internet, despite everyone else's apparent trigger-happiness to do so.
Sometimes I want to troll or be abrasive on internet forums (never DQN of course) but I start to regret my actions partway through and start genuinely engaging with people. I just want everyone to be happy and have fun.
I started writing a confession several times but I don't remember if I posted it and I don't want to risk making it twice.
I need to write a menial piece of code that'd be immensely helpful to somebody very dear but I couldn't write a single line for 1.5 months, keeping myself distracted and busy with nothing.
I don't know what a "hot take" is.
i got a good gacha roll but it wasn't the one i wanted so i'm still gonna be a bitch-ass about it
There are many early 00s memes I am glad did not survive, but I kinda wish "needs more Lain" did.
>>428
Why are you glad those memes didn't survive? Those memes were naive, those memes were pure. The worst of those memes were a thousand times better than the "black twitter"-tier memes we have now.
Good grief, how often I have referred to those times as "when /b/ was good" to never see "/b/ was never good" in response. Stumbling on a rare oldfriend saying this is balsam to the soul.
>Good grief, how often I have
Why so often?
>>429
/b/ was good for a couple of months, then it turned into a gigantic retard magnet. I don't miss it. Once in a while I'll look at /tg/ or /m/ for a bit.
I made a bunch of those little banners they used back then.
>>433
It was good for a little longer. I still remember enthusing to an university pal about it. The first thing he saw there was some gay porn. But it wasn't bad, the board.
I'd have been a respectable engineer these days if it wasn't for /b/. So, I drown my sorrow in calling other posters "retards" on the last few remotely decent boards...
i guess someone's gonna get a good chuckle out of this...
but i'm mad because my abusive fatass father ruined my bacon
Multiple times, I heard sound from trees. It sounded like a woman humming simple tunes. I could walk around them, sit down, and it just kept on.
I can relate >>435. Except it was I who fucked up the bacon because I was used to cooking with gas stoves at my mom's house. When the fucker came in to get a piece he saw the charred bacon, snatched the pan and threw it on the front steps. Then backhand slapped me and told me to clean up the front steps because "stone steps get stains". So I cleaned his mess while he bitched at me the whole time
Sometimes while I'm in public I start dancing to music I'm listening to in my head
When I was a teenager I thought enema was when drugs interacted.
Anyway the history teacher who showed us a video that said pulque was used that way took points off for me mentioning it in an essay test.
I have every post in the Youtube threads open in separate tabs
I once stole a pear from my neighbour's orchard. I don't even like pears, it was just fun being bad with my cronies.
Sometimes a reply to one of my posts will be a little too accurate and I'll wonder if it's just coincidence or a lucky guess, or if the admin is calling me out based on past post history from my IP block.
>>444
How come? Have you been making very recognizable posts lately, perhaps?
I've been putting off a call for six months because I hate calling people I don't know.