After a long time of not remembering any dreams at all, I'm starting to get vivid and bizarre ones. Of course it's already beginning to slip away but part of last night's was being a king or some other "someone important" and I was with a lady when a hornet landed on my face and I was holding very, very still to avoid getting stung. But next thing I knew I was somewhere else with my royal adviser(? don't really remember who this character was) and I asked him accusingly if he'd used the hornet to anesthetize me, to which he smugly replied in the affirmative and showed me to a mirror. I'd been given a Glasgow smile (not a real big one, but the corners of my mouth were notched) and my ears were cut off to leave bloody slits. None of it hurt though. I also had on dark pink/reddish lipstick, my hair was done up in this huge raven black Asian style crest thing (don't know if it has a name to describe it), and my face was shaved clean so altogether I looked pretty girly, especially since when I undid the hair it all spilled down in rich shiny locks to my waist. But what really annoyed me was how fat I looked in the heavy robe thing I was in, so I threw it off and found that underneath I had some tight, shiny golden leotard thing on, and I'd been given three big breasts.
Later on in the dream, I'd been transferred back to my ordinary self, but this character I'd been previously came to an arranged meeting with me somewhere at night in a car, and when s/he got out of the car s/he grabbed me by the shoulders and started to piss on my sweatpants leg. I said "You can't do this" and s/he said something to the effect of "I can do anything I want." This is about the point at which I woke up.