sadly this is actual technoshamanism, despite the concept of being a masterbuilder of a Touhou project programmer may sound as if i am living in fanasty, strangely lego movie was making mockery of alpha and beta, yes alphas are ignorant..... it is true betas can work together to achieve dreams, yet i do not live in fanasty like metaploeyyse this is the real deal metaprogammer of the nervous system, we are the fallen wonderbolts of the night the rainbow dashes to omega crazy who talk the walk into the night, yet as world enters night the battle of the inner world is a bigger and bigger deal, masterbuidler .... the legos i build with are imprinting of my own nervous system, my battle is that if inner world... the folly and inspiration of night
Took a University class titled "Communism and Class in America" in the 80's.. The instructor asked the class to tell him what the goal of "the women's movement" was. Hands went up spouting the usual: "equality", "fairness", "equal rights", "protection from discrimination" etc.
Instructor: "Every one of those answers is wrong. None of you are correct. Their goal, like any other political movement, is power. They want to be in charge."
Could have heard a pin drop.
it's free software, as in free will, aka not really free but you won't notice
People underestimate the amount of Americans whose lives revolve around an unholy trinity of cheap processed foods, intoxicants, and digital entertainment. And that the only way these people would mobilize politically is if access to those three things were threatened.
The kindest thing that I can say about this translation is that it's not Hitler.
The next journalist who implies a $250k per annum salary is normal for millennials should just walk straight into the goddamn sea.
i met regex once hes really cool
All characters depicted are 18 or older, even if otherwise specified.
ALL CHARACTERS FEATURED IN THIS STORY ARE AGE 18+
MATURE CONTENT FOLLOWS. ALL CHARACTERS PROBABLY FICTIONAL
IF CONTENT OFFENDS YOU STOP READING
A Catholic priest and a very Jewish Shii were hiding in the bushes outside of the local middle school, when the final class bell rang, and the kids were coming outside to wait for the bus.
Priest: "Aren't these kids something?"
Shii: "You're telling me. I keep getting older and older, but they stay the same age.
both laughing
The priest points at a young 18-year-old boy wandering toward the bushes, away from the other middle school students.
Priest: "Hey, there's a good one. Let's screw him! "
Shii: "Hmmm.... do you really need to ask me that Father..."
The priest lures the boy to the bushes, and, when the moment of truth occurs, Shii knocks the boy out with a chloroform rag. The age 18 junior high school student boy's pants are down around his ankles when the priest climbs on top of the kid, and starts pumping away. At this point, Shii's fly is down to reveal his 3" midchub.
Priest: "Ungh.... unghh... oh, sweet Mary!"
Shii: "DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU"
Priest: "..... .......ngghhh...."
Shii: "LONGCAT IS LOOOOOOOOOONG"
This goes on for about 2 minutes, but the priest's concentration wears thin and the autistic memery makes the Father grow limp.
Priest: "I think there's something wrong with your head, there, kike."
Shii: "Shut up Jesus freak, it's my turn."
Shii's midchub grew half an inch more before slowly inserting it into the quivering student's anus. After a lengthy 29.9 seconds of fornication, Shii cums while screaming "JAPAN!!!!!"
~ fin ~
I still know SEVERAL people who have gotten jumped by a bunch of homophones when they exited a gay club. Things like THAT are why the Yankees need Pride night.
>>610
Truth. Once I got jumped outside a gay bar by a palate, palette, and a pallet. My health has never been the same since. My ex had it worse though, he was beaten up by a carat, caret, carrot, and a karat and was in a coma for weeks.
This seems like a gross distortion of the fuckedness scale. The original "megafucked" case involved being an accessory to the murder of a child. (Maybe someone else has the link. The consensus was that the poster was a troll)
Can we pleeeeease standardize this? I vote for:
OK - There will probably be no life-altering consequences: The charges will be dropped completely, or you'll put into a diversion program.
Screwed - You will wind up with a misdemeanor conviction, and be forever barred from some professions and be inconvenienced in a myriad of other ways. You'll still be able to live a fairly normal life.
Fucked - you'll wind up with a felony conviction and spend up to several years in prison. When you get out, you'll be able to reconnect with some of your friends and family, or start a new family if you're young enough. Your life will be much more difficult, but you can still find happiness.
Kilofucked - you will spend most of the rest of your life in prison, and quite possibly die there. If you're ever released, it will be into a world that's changed beyond all recognition. If you're lucky, a few people on the outside will still remember you and visit sometimes. Perhaps you'll make some new friends in prison.
Megafucked - as above, but the nature of your crimes means that a large number of guards and/or inmates will hate you, and will go out of their way to make your life as unpleasant as possible. (Child-murderers tend to wind up here.)
Gigafucked - You will be subjected to state-sanctioned torture.
This dandruff bag never spent a dime of his own money in his entire life. What does he care?
im a little late, but remember next bloodmoon to put all of your money in a brokerage account and short fucking everything in the entire US market
bloodmoons this year have had a 100% correlation with major downside moves in the market.
you guys need fucking money, right? isnt everyone a fucking alcoholic here?
Once 2 patrolmen and a detective showed up at the crack of dawn after a patient called to report sexual assault and murder by staff members. The 2 uniforms calmed down somewhat when they realized which ward they were on but the angry detective immediately insisted on sequestering all of the staff separately and demanded the floor video before interviewing the "victim". The patient loudly and tearfully explained to the detective that the night staff of 9 men (in Reality Land, me and 3 coworkers, all female) had held her down and raped her all night in order to impregnate her, kill the baby with an "abortion machine" and repeat the process. According to her, she lost 237 children that night. She then produced her "evidence" from her pocket and shoved a urine soaked and shit encrusted thong into the guy's suit pocket. The look on the man's face as her story unfolded was priceless. Edit: The minute the ward door locked behind the departing policemen, the patient ran to the desk to report that she was pregnant by the officers.
Get rid of the whites and suddenly become Wakanda.
When has the Internet been not at your fingertips? I've never used anything but my fingertips to internet.
BP
Havenft lived til youfve been called irrelevant by a Canadian
Why football man no stand up
The man Tom Cruise pays $350,000 a year to place exactly 15 pepper flakes on his salad every day describes a human funeral to Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise laughs so hard that he vomits up a small satchel of indescribable crystals.
>>611 that doesn't sound nearly as fun as the time I was jumped by a bunch of bare bears outside a gay club.
Socialism won't help me get a big tiddy goth gf, so why should I support it?
I saw the fattest corgi of my life in a mud compound in a tiny town in in southern Afghanistan. No one freaked out about it except for me because it was a fucking fat corgi in the last place in the world I thought I'd see one.
"causing me existential reflection"
Bestselling author, ladies and gents.
this track is like the musical equivalent of when you whip out your dick and she whips out hers
I don't even like this stuff, I just clicked because it said "Ikisugi!" and I was hoping someone was gonna make a YJSNPI meme
Coronation Street viewers saw the funny side as the soap served up its gbest line everh – gIfm not a snob, Ifve been to Nandofs.h
The one-liner was delivered by Mary Taylor (Patti Clare) during a chat with Adam Barlow (Sam Robertson) in the latest episode of the ITV soap.
As the pair talked, Mary explained she was not snobbish because she had eaten at the chicken chain.
gIfm not a snob Adam, Ifve been to Nandofs,h she said.
Fans flooded Twitter with crying with laughter emojis after the hilarious line.
gMary youfre a riot,h posted one person, adding a gif of someone spitting out their drink as they snorted with laughter.
>>628
cheeky nando's with the lads
I'm american but thanks to the internet I'm aware of this phrase
A murki is cluster of notes that sounds like a short, subtle taan. A murki can also comprise a series of such short clusters. A murki is less forceful than a khatka or a zamzama. A combination like R R S S could be a murki or a khatka or the starting point of a zamzama, depending on the force of delivery. Although some special murkis are used in khayal singing, it is really a very handy device for a thumri singer. In fact, the bols of a thumri, the ragas they are normally set to and the mood of this form of singing especially demand the usage of murkis. Thus, thumris are often built around this alankar.
>>629
Technology brings us together, tears down borders, destroys subcultures, spreads depression,
As a gay man I would happily hide my entire identity on the fear of a violent death if it saved me like $40 a month.
142 people are city folks yall wont survive a week in the country!!
Jeez this is worse than I thought. His humor is even darker than mine (and I joke about dark memes featuring ppl like Hitler and Stalin...).
>white skin
>2d
If it came out that Tiger Woods had another affair, it would be par for the course.
Just imagine some guy staring into a sunset from a cliff over an ocean, having a tear come to his eye from the majesty of it, and as he goes to wipe away the tear, he completely loses control of his bowels.
>How can you have enough autism to install loli waifu mods into a shitty game like Skyrim, but not care how fucking awful it looks having a single character walking around with a gorillion times as much detail and texturing quality as the entire game put together?
Maybe he just sees it as the character seeing everything but the loli as low definition. Like that one VN where the guy has meat vision but here instead it's toddvision, and in the real world of that game she's a T posing PS1 model.
I realize this is the hot takes zone but I think Gandalf just punting Frodo into Mt Doom, 300-style, would be pretty out of character.
That's the thing, it's not that slab of meat laying front of you that's just been roasted to perfection. It's ground up bits that have been cooked and formed together. Ground beef is more civilized than steak, and that's the difference. When I get a nice slab of steak in front of me, my carnal desires are satisfied, mostly anyways. There's still the part of me that wants to go out and club a deer to death and scream about making a fire, but the chunk of meat before me suppresses those urges with the fact that there is just a hunk of dead animal flesh dripping with it's delectable juices off of the charred slivers of fat of a medium well steak. Ground beef... Is mostly just another step into making something with it. A steak is whole, it is eternal, and I am drunk, and buying steak as I type this.
Greetings. this is the president. if you are a witch hunter, learn to let your balls drop.
It should be a goddamn crime. Criminalize this shit. Ban this sick filth.
Call it "Omission of Dank Pictures in a News Article." Make it a federal crime and a violation of the Geneva Convention.
All found guilty are sentenced to hard labor fighting the Emu menace in Australia.
We'll see if publication without the picture was worth it when these fuckers are watching their comrades fall to wave after wave of modern dinosaurs obliterating their trenches in Jurassic warfare. As man after man falls, they will say "today is the day" as artillery does nothing to the Emu warriors advancing upon them. The fucks.
Nature is not a place to visit. It is home
joke: the oasis
broke: sword art online
woke: the wired
All I hear from you people is fucking Kierkegaard. No one wants to talk about Augustine of Hippo's City of God with me and that makes me want to drink exactly the same amount I do every day.
Sorry I'm typing his with a huge fat fucking cock spurting white hot cum right down my throat. Can't answer right now.
Oooooh butter! I LOVE butter! I have eaten several sticks (with wrappers on) over the last few years, all of them were stolen off of the kitchen counter when Suzy was distracted. So you are in good company! ;-)
>>648
sounds like it's written from the perspective of a golden retriever
>>650 Funny I was thinking almost the exact same thing. "Was this written by a dog...?"
whups I meant to sage
>>650-651
I found it on some pet forum when I was mildly concerned about having somehow gotten some small pieces of butter wrapper mixed in with my flapjacks, then eating them anyway. (I'm a hypochondriac, but not enough of one to not eat pancakes that might kill me when I already put the syrup on.)
No one else on the forum was RPing their dogs though.
Also I'm not bleeding from the ass yet so I guess butter wrappers are harmless.
>>653
It's just wax paper. Your body pays about as much attention to it as the outer lining of a corn kernel.
Australians treat the role of Prime Minister as our local version of Doctor Who. Every couple of years we crowd around the telly to see who they change into.
! !, , c. , cv , , c. ? c. c. v. ,, c. vv. c c. , b. c. v. v c. b. v. v. b n. v. v fv. v. v. v. vb. b v. v. c. bb gb v vbv. v. b b b bbv. bbv. bbvv. b. gb b. gb bbf b v. fgbvvc. z cc c. , cc z z. c. .; cc ccc. c , x cc cz. c. c c. ,z , cc c c ,, c , c , z c c. x z xc zc x c cc c czc x cccc c c c c cc c c. c cc c c c. cz c cc c cz c ccc. cc ? ccc cccz cc c c c czc cZ cz cc. cc cc cc czc z>cornchips
( EÖE) The show has been derailed, Obama is gone, and there's nothing I can do.
@pontifex Get off your phone. We paid €32m for this trip, get up and do a dance or something.
oh god why are there turtle boobs
Advantages:
Disadvantages:
Some people have wiped with pine cones though?
We had a lady ask if her friend could donate a serious amount of clothes. Turned out her friend lost his wife 4 years ago and had only just felt ready to let go. Whilst we were going through the donation, lots of the clothes still had tags on. Heartbreaking to think she just never had the chance to wear them and that some of the worn items where things hefd picture his wife in after shefd gone
Edit: oh and underwear, we get lots of dirty underwear in
I really want my own craft beer to take off. It's called Another Fucking IPA. Our idea was to specifically tailor our brewing process to minimize all flavors except hops.
I've said it before but Toshiro Mifune is so bad ass he can be wearing silk socks and flip flops and still make Clint Eastwood look like a pussy.
Function: save-lisp-and-die
If I wanted to see Michael Fassbender's finely chiseled ass, I would just watch it again on the Blu-Ray I already own.
I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all 807 Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, | always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e621 in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that l have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. l have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of 347 successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder.
Im 12 and what is this
conversations like this should stay in youtube comments.
Yeah but who's going to finance that lifestyle?
"you should've asked for your life instead of waluigi" Sakurai says before filling me with bullets
I got my xbox live gamerscore tattooed on my cock to prove you wrong
14/88 simplifies to 7/44. july 1944 is when they tried to assassinate hitler. so 14/88 is an allied dogwhistle
Point of this story is fuck anyone that thinks this is a good idea if it ever happens I will walk into their office, drink 2 glasses of milk, and shit all over their floor to prove my point.
>>677
Interesting. By the same token, we discover that white supremacist neo-Norse-pagans are a false flag group because they follow a religion which professes to believe in "Valkyries".
So in August I got very drunk after a night at the bars and blacked out and woke up with a jagged cut on my dick, right under the tip, kind of on the left side, (my left). I have no idea what happened, nor do my friends, I guess the two of us who were blacked promised the designated less drunk friend we were walking home and then went and did more shit for like an hour. I think maybe I put it through something with a sharp edge, like a window with a hole in it, or maybe I had it out and fell on it or against a wall or something, I dont fucking know but kms embarrassing and stupid and shiiittttyyyy, felt like such a jackass because I missed two days of work because of it, so fucking dumb. I got stitches on the underside of the tip of my penis. ugh, I hate typing that, I hate that that happened, the doctor has absolutely zero respect for you when you tell them this, because you DESERVE NONE. BUT I DIGRESS.
So I am currently under strict orders from the urologist not to engage in sexual activity with myself or others for 5 weeks. My first thought was PPPSSSHHHH try no sexual contact for 6 months honey, you dont know who you're talking to, I DONT get laid. The thought of the challenge not to masturbate didnt even really concern me, because I have never been all that frequent of a masturbateur, like once a day for some short periods in high school, but now that I am older like once a week, so I figured nbd.
OH MY GOD do I want to orgasm!!!
I have never experienced this before in my life, but I swear to god I have forgotten what my fully flaccid penis looks like. I know what people mean now when they say "thinking with his dick". I cannot go about my normal activities. My hormones are so fucked up I fall in love with any woman that comes within a 5 foot radius of me. I will be on the bus thinking "I wonder if she would be down to take a pottery class together for our 10th anniversary...". I opened pornhub the other night and just looked at the home screen for like 6 seconds and then just closed it. This is insanity.
As soon as I can masturbate without my frenulum splitting open nobody will see me for like 2 days straight.
FUCK
We live in a world w/ so many beautiful girls and you niggas wake up and say, gI want me a villain.h You chasin CORRUPT PUSSY. mind boggling
I really wanna branch out to Kotobukiyas stuff but it's so expensive
First they came for the anti-Semites, and I did not speak out because I was not an anti-Semite. Next they came for the racists. And I said thank fuck
Every single time you people decide to change software for no other reason than social justice, all normal programmers decide to be more racist, sexist, transphobic and whatever else pisses you off - for no other reason than just to spite you. We weren't using master/slave terminology before, but you can bet we'll be using it now - every single chance we get.
And we'll be thinking of it. You know, it. The reason why you think it's offensive. And I just want you to know - we weren't thinking of it before... but we are now. Only because of you.
You can claim that such measures hurt everyone, or that it's counterproductive, or that it even hurts our own careers. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Any price will be paid, social justice will fail, and if you don't drop it immediately, you will fail with it.
A great tribute to a much missed information service.
i live in BC and i show up to vote for everything. Call me a redneck again i dont mind i was having fires and feeding seals fish off the peir at ambleside before you were even in your daddy's balls. Ive been on drilling rigs and inside frac towers while you were learning how to be a barista. Ive had a job since i was 14 years old building houses, landscaping, stocking grocery shelves, live entertainment. and ive got my BSc and a Red Seal in one of the most exclusive trades in Canada. But i guess all of that was "unearned" and my screen name is somehow doing exactly what i intended it to. Have a good day snowflakes. YVRJon... why? You work at the airport or something bitch? Thats where you belong handling my bag and serving me wine and tapas begging me for tips. You guys know whats going to be funny? When J50 dies and not because of climate change or any shit you want to say about Albertans... itll be YOU. But i look forward to the salt and the scapegoats you throw up to make yourselves feel good... ill be over here pulling oil and gas out of the ground eating a thicc peice of ribeye, poaching sockeye and moose, and fuuuuuuckin winning.
Therefore we cry: Hear us, O Mathematicians of the World! Let us not wait any longer! We can make many formulas clearer by adopting a new notation now! Let us agree to write 'm Û n', and to say "m is prime to n," if m and n are relatively prime.
since when has knowing jack fucking shit about dick stopped anyone from having an extremely loud opinion about it? I thought this was america!
Comments from the linked thread:
Linus has gone full tumblr reddit SJW basedboy libtard bugman cuck
he was always a SJW, except instead of getting triggered by the patriarchy he was getting triggered by some freetard shit
Fuck! Linux is now cucked and castrated. How will we ever recover?
He apologizes for his autism, despite the fact he'll always be as autistic as ever. What a pointless expression of nothing.
Next up: Linus suggests to the Linux Foundation to route money to outreach programs for n****rs and tra**ies
Everything in tech is so cucked and SJW nowadays. What do we do now?
Yep, we're fucked. It's done. Over. Literal blue hair tra**y shit has made its way into Linux.