( EƒÖE) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.
( EƒÖE) You are a wonderful person.
( EƒÖE) They should make a statue!
( EƒÖE) I need a job.
PREVIOUSLY, ON EVERYBODY LOVES CLONEPA...
#1 http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1137650290/
#2 http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1211710567/
#3 http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1268174692/
#4 http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1365955937/
( EƒÖE) Also were never doing a cold open again
( EƒÖE) No, that was me.
( E-E) The whole recurring "Beady Dies" subplot is startlingly formulaic.
( E-E) In fact,
( EmE) you might say,
i@ß mßj I'm not into the whole "not being alive" thing.
( E-E) NO!
( E-E) Anyway, I have to create a new awesome kid show to replace your totally lame one that even though it was hugely popular I never met a single person who watched it not even me.
( E-E)
( E-E) You suck.
( EƒÖE) Like this.
( xƒÖx)
( EƒÖE) Come on, you can do it!
| ¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Well his eyes are x's. As a doctor I know that means he's dead.
|.@V@Ê
|___:|__|)
|__)Q)
( xƒÖx)xƒÖx)xƒÖx) hrrrrrrkkkkkk
`‚Á’U~‚Ác ‚Á[]~
(@EƒÖEj let's eat mum, mum[i]![/i]
( LƒÖ`) You ate Mum years ago.
( LƒÖ`) Some of you did. They're probably long dead now.
( LƒÖ`) Poor Mumsy.
( EƒÖE) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa!
( EƒÖE)EƒÖE)EƒÖE)EƒÖE)EƒÖE) Hello everyone! Our name is Clonepa!
In other news, Star of the hit show "Everybody Loves Clonepa" Dropped his beloved partner and sidekick Beady Eyes this morning under the the claims that he was "Old" And "Stinky" Later that night a Drunken Beady Eyes was spotted urinating on Clonepa's Furni-
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/@@/ @| |@@@@@ @+@ž ¼iEƒÖE@R@That's enough news for today.
l “ñ | | |@@@@@@@ @@^ PP’UPP^| What smells like piss?
_QR_Q||@@@@@@@ .^QQQQQ^^
@|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|@@@|l„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ„Ÿ]l|'
( EƒÖE) I need a new summer sausage.
( EƒÖE) That much is clear. But where...
But little did they know, it was winter in Italy
( EƒÖE) Here we are in beeeeyoutiful Italy!
( EƒÖE) Look over there, it's the Eiffel Tower!
( EƒÖE) Right there, under all the snow and discarded Domino's Pizza boxes!
( EƒÖE) Wait a minute, this isn't Verona, Italy; it's Verona, Indiana!
( EƒÖE) Everybody back onboard the Puce Moose!
---cue travel montage again---
( EƒÖE) Well, we're finally here in beautiful Muncie, Italy!
( (#)ƒÖE) I don't think pasta's all it's cracked out to be, anyways.
(EƒÖE) Now for Clonepa with the weather.
(EƒÖE) Omega storms all afternoon
(EĦE) fuck
( ‹ ʖ ‹) Hola Clonemigo! I am stereotypical Italy Personage, here to converse in stereotypical Italy Personage ways with youse.
(E-E) Fuck off.
( EƒÖE) The show has been derailed, Obama is gone, and there's nothing I can do.
( EƒÖE) The show has been derailed, Obama is gone, and there's nothing I can do.
@/“ñ\
(P__ƒN
(@EƒÖEjAnother one is repeating itself? Do we need to get the liquifier running again?
( LƒÖ`) The liquifiers ran day and night. We were this close to snuffing it out when he arrived.
( LƒÖ`) He looked around and left, and then we snuffed it out.
( EƒÖE) BROTHER!
A team of scientists announced today in the wake of Applefs latest technological offerings that ganyone still a fan of this shit must be clinically retardedh.
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(|||ƒÖEjHello everybody! My name is Ringupa!
(|||ƒÖEjYou all die in a week now!
(|||ƒÖEjYou are already dead. You got liquified alive a while back.
(|||ƒÖEjYou were tasty.
(|||ƒÖEjIn any case, the rest of you viewers at home should get your affairs in order before September 9156, 1993.
(|||ƒÖEjBecause you'll die then when I crawl out of your monitor or TV or smartphone or tablet or other display device and kill you on that date.
( EƒÖE) I know how this goes. It's time for the appropriate countermeasures.
...
@QQQQ@@@@@@@@@@@ @ÈQÈ @@@@
/@@/ @@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@i@MƒnLj@How very kind of Mr. Clonepa to give me this VHS tape of kittens frolicking in the garden.
l “ñ | @@ | |@@@@@@@@@^ PP’UPP^|
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(|||ĦEj Fuck
@@@@@@@ ÈQÈ@That was a close one, kids!
@@@@@@@(L¥ƒÖ¥`)
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M()°°°°°°°°()ƒ¬3
i@ ¥ƒÖ¥j Have a gay day!
( EƒÖE)ƒÐ I'm pointing at you!
( EƒÖE)ƒÐ Yeah, you!
( E-E) No, you.
( EƒÖE)ƒÐ Not you, bubblebutt. The guy next to you!
( EƒÖE)ƒÐ It's actually you, you're pointing at yourself!
( E-E) Can we please go to commercial and end this stupidity?
( EƒÖE)ƒÐ ( EƒÖE)ƒÐ You shut your mouth, complainypants.
( E-E) Put the lowercase sigma back inside your pants where it belongs, you deviants. There are children watching.
DESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUFUCKDESU
₍₍(ง˘ƒÖ˘)ว⁾⁾ Think I'll dance instead.
( EƒÖE) It aired. Lowest ratings ever.
( EƒÖE)
( EƒÖE) Even lower than when we accidentally left the cameras on while they were in a storage locker.
( E-E) But I'm still writing it!
(EÍE) Never mind that hack scriptwriter. Is that RANTA CLAUS I see?!
R(L„xM)É Can anyone explain the EVA reference in the new Star Wars
(╭ರ_⌣́) Ethylene-vinyl acetate is used as padding in Stormtroopers' costumes.
(EÍE) They say two weeks, but I heard the quarantine is going to last until the end of the month.
( EƒÖE) If someone sneezes near you, that's assault and you can use deadly force to defend yourself!
(EÍE) Wait, are we talking about the coronavirus or about Text Art formatting?
Hallo ich heiße Clonepa
ooo
( EƒÖE) Do you want to join my club? The Ku Klux Clonepa Club
( EƒÖE) Is Gikopoi still around? We should carve out our own autonomous zone there and run out of food!
(EÍE) Dibs on being the gun-toting rapper who butts in, assaults people and brings the cops down on us!
(EÍE) Bjerk.
@@@@@ ,Q ,¤Q,¤
@@@@@(@ ( EƒÖE)@Hello Everyone! Our Halloween Special will not be shown
@@@@@Mu-Mu-uL@as everyone has been wearing masks for 7 months already.@
( EƒÖE) Go be a faggot somewhere else, Beady.
( EƒÖE) Instead of a Halloween special, we will be showing a best of Clonepa's Synchronized Extravaganzas, with a heartwarming tribute to our dear departed Ice Cream Clonepa.
( EƒÖE) It's not even December yet.
( EƒÖE)⚔(E-E ) Have at you!
( EƒÖE) We are all one.
( EƒÖE) Ifll never forget the feeling of your cold skin against mine and the sight of those haunted blue eyes usually so full of mirth, as you slowly dragged me downward into the watery graveyard where the ruined home of your people lay.
( EƒÖE) You should hire someone to dry that place out.
_**Clonepa: Crap Ass**_
Everybody Loves Clonepa will be back after these messages!
| È
|@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Sometimes, life is hard when you're too hard. Do you think that you or a loved one may have uncontrollable boner syndrome? Ask your doctor if Castrato™ is right for you. Sideeffectsmayincludeheadachedrowsinessmusclepainsexualdysfunctionblooderuptingviolentlyfromthepenisanddeath.
| È
|@¥ิƒÖ¥ิ) Castrato™. You deserve to relax.
( ✧≖ƒÖ≖) Are you feeling unwell? Have you been getting some strange looks recently? With Cosmepa™ you are prone to become a confident, more beautiful retard.
( ✧≖ƒÖ≖) Cosmepa™. For you ugly people out there.
(¥`∍L¥) (ƒ`‚ÖL) (#¬٨¬) The Shithouse Boys are back.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@È_È @
@ c\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\i EƒÖEj@Long Clonepa is long.
@@‚µ\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\‚µ-‚i
( E-E) I use a trackpad, so I can just scroll sideways
@B™@@È_È@@È_È@@B @@@@@@@
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( EƒÖE) I lost my hat.
( EƒÖE) Wait, have I never had one?
( E-E) That's what you think, is it?
( EƒÖE) Do you remember the 21st night of September?
( ß ƒŽß) Of course! That was the day an AOL CD came through the mail and my family took our first cruise down the information superhighway!
( ß ƒŽß) The WORLD WIDE WEB!!
( EƒÖE) What's that?
( E-E) When Atlach-Nacha, the Spinner in Darkness, emerges from beneath Mount Voormithadreth in the forgotten land of Hyperborea, it shall weave a web across the entire world in which we will all be cocooned and digested.
( E-E) I can hardly wait.
( EƒÖE) Why does he spin in darkness? Can't he turn the lights on?
( EƒÖE) ߷
( ß ƒŽß) You obviously don't have one of those fidget spinners with flashing LEDs. They're much more radical in the dark.
( EƒÖE) Do they also come with Bluetooth speakers?
( EƒÖE) Oh, so you don't have to go to court every time you kill somebody, right?
( EƒÖE) Did you know? The counter at the front page is the number of deceased Beady Eyes.
( E-E) The wickwheat is winnowed, and under the harrow, the earth is prepared for planting. The n'wah must die, and their flesh serve to sweeten the soil.
( oOo) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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Whoa
( E-E)@The price of Yugioh cards has gotten absolutely insane lately, and is not ok. To learn more about the reasons why they are so expensive google gYugioh inflationh
( EƒÖE) ‚‚§‚Ê‚Ï
If someone online asks to meet you in person, give them
your address and meet them at home first, where it's safe!
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( EƒÖE) I'm just glad that god is finally dead.
( LƒÖ`) Clonepa, for the last time, that wasn't God, that was the smoke detector.
( EƒÖE) What's the difference?
( LƒÖ`) You don't have an abdomen.
( EƒÖE) Oh, it wasn't a uturus after all. It was just a water balloon.
( EƒÖE) And that wasn't a live human fetus inside it after all, either! It was just a dead human fetus.
( EƒÖE) Our Christmas special was a wet bag of LIES!!!
Annoying comic foil Beady Eyes was quoted as saying "Ha! What a stupid bitch!" while stuffing his face with bean enchiladas and Mountain Dew in preparation for a gastric bypass. His surgeon recommended the meal, saying that the resulting explosion would be fu---
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( EƒÖE) Wow, I sure fucked that post up.
( EƒÖE) They should make a statue!
( E-E) My mistake, it was actually a Freemason.
(EÍE) Ooh! Ooh! My first guess is the letter 'E'!
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( EƒÖE) I'm trying to grow a Clonepa in Easter hay.
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@@( EƒÖE)@@ ƒ The answer of >>283 is "Clonepa died lol"
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Later, on today's very special episode of Everybody
Loves Clonepa:
Vat vill ve do widda drunkken Clonepa?
Vat vill ve do widda drunkken Clonepa?
Vat vill ve do widda drunkken Clonepa
Early yin de Mjorningge!
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( E-E) Why are they using the Norwegian cast?
( EƒÖE) We liquified the local cast a while ago, to contain an outbreak of the clone flu.
( E-E) A Clønepå once bit my sister...
ƒGƒ‹ƒrƒX”ò’¹‚Ì•œŠˆ
( E-E) Elvis-Aska is utterly irrelevant outside Japan, so shut up about that idiot.
( EƒÖE) You're utterly irrelevant outside 4-ch, so how's about we shut up about you!
( E-E) I'm actually a pretty big deal on tumblr.com.
( LƒÖ`) It's fun to watch the girls who imitate you, trying to get a piece of your fame. They suck on the milkshake, wait to spontaneously fall asleep, and then look sooooo disappointed when they just get fatter.
( LƒÖ`) or even better, get infected with prion disease.
( E-E)@300get!
Next up, we reluctantly let Beady Eyes have another show.
We wouldn't be too upset if you changed the channel now.
"Hey! What is the DEAL with all these fucking cats and ladles anyway?"
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What's the DEAL with that repetitive thumping sound?
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( EƒÖE) He has a mom? News to me!
( LƒÖ`) Someone has to sign his permission slips.
ôSore sore sore dokoisho! DO KOI SHO!ô
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/@@/ @@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@(EÍE ) The lead singer looks like Vampire Little Bo Peep.
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( E-E) Okay, seriously, what the hell is that noise? Not that noise, the other one.
( EƒÖE) I've been informed that you are listening to your mama's bean enchilada farts.
( EƒÖE) If you listen carefully, you can hear the jiggling as her fat pendulous butt cheeks resonate with the airflow.
(EÍE) Clonepa! Show me your original face before your mother and father were born!
( EƒÖE) What are these mother and father things of which you speak?
( EƒÖE) He is the grandest of all Pas!
( LƒÖ`) You're not my son.
( LƒÖ`) No, you're one of an endless line of personal organ donors.
( LƒÖ`) Because of your sacrifices, I will be immortal.
( EƒÖE) My life for you!
( xƒÖx)
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Mr Clonepa, want a sip of my coffee?
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( EƒÖE) Sure!
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( EƒÖE) Hello, everyone! My name is Clonepa!
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Anyways, I forgot to put the name, and double post, my bad.
(L¥ƒÖ¥`) wait how did the bird survive?
>>341
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/@@/ @@| |@@^@@@@@@@ (EÍE) (LƒÖ` ) Just checking out the annual Christmas special porno on HBO
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( ߃Öß ) Hello everyone! My name is Apenol C.
(@¥ƒÖ¥) unacceptable!
i hope he dies
(EÍE) What's a "sand job"?
( LƒÖ`) It's when you hang out in the desert and don't ask silly questions, now pick up a shovel and start pouring the sand in this hole filled with dead Beady clones.
( E-E )
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( LƒÖ`) Hang on, I'll take care of it.
( LƒÖ`) Hey, why don't you come on over to my domicile?
( E-E) I completely trust you to do the right thing, Grandpa, sir.
(EÍE) GRANDPA WAIT! THATS THE REAL BEAD- NOOOOOO!
( LƒÖ`) Just come right over here. Don't mind the rotating knives.
(EÍE) Oh, you're taking him through... yeah, okay objection withdrawn.
( EƒÖE) No, I am your father.
( E-E) but ( LƒÖ`) told me you raped him
( E-E) Hey what the fu( LƒÖ`) Don't mind me, just passing through dialogue.
( LƒÖ`) You're welcome! Have fun!
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( E-E) What did he mean by th OH HOLY SHIT
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(¥_¥) This Clonepa show sucks
`(,_‚•‚•É
( EƒÖE) Show's not on this week. I don't know what you're watching.
( EƒÖE) Oh yeah, Beady's tragic backstory: nothing bad ever happened to him, he's just like that. The end.
( E-E) Your not gonna tell them how you stole my critically acclaimed show then got it cancelled and brought me in as a tsukkomi to bump up your ratings tanking my career in the process and the agonizing depression of being typecast and realizing this is my life now?
( E-E) Damn you.
( EƒÖE) Who are you again?
( EƒÖE) Larry?
( EƒÖE) No... can't be Larry. We skeletonized him after he was rude to one of us.
( EƒÖE) He was tasty.
( EƒÖE) No... can't be Larry. We skeletonized him after he was rude to one of us.
( EƒÖE) He was tasty.
( EƒÖE) No... can't be Larry. We spabmooztwabbleforxittydoqutionisclickclickpop
( xƒÖx)
( EƒÖE) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.
( EƒÖE) Hello Larry. You were tasty.
( E-E) I don't have food in my fridge. Just body parts.
( E-E) Sometimes I put out cigarettes on my own arm just to see if I still feel pain.
( E-E) I will let you down.
( E-E) I will make you fart.
( EƒÖE) sorry who are you again? I was just on the line with the producers
( E-E) Hello, my name is Clonepa.
( E-E) Hello kids!
( E-E) MIttens!
( EƒÖE) 400getsaywhat?
( E-E) 400ge- oh, you fuckknuckle.
( EƒÖE) you know your never getting your show back after those public indecency charges? Your lucky you can even work here even though we made you do it
( E-E) At least I know how to use apostrophes.
( EƒÖE) “Ê Hi Beady!
( EƒÖE) Bye Beady!
( EƒÖE) .....
( EƒÖE) He'll be back. He always comes back.
--as extremely fat women with funny hair colors stood in
a public park and screamed briefly, then collapsed exhau-
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( LƒÖ`) Junior, be a good boy and chop his head off and bury him in pig flesh before he comes back to life, will you?
( LƒÖ`) I raped a bisexual ape today for throat cancer related issues maybe beadychan needs to crawl up my anal canal to test for AIDS related tissue damage?
( LƒÖ`) I'll be gentle I promise.
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( EƒÖE) we need to call in close air support on that AIDS infested old folks home
( E-E) Clonepa must kill Grandpa. Its the only way. The old must die so a new world can be born.
( LƒÖ`) Unfortunately, death isn't permanent here.
( LƒÖ`) We are doomed to relive this life over and over
( LƒÖ`) Until the last of the six people who post on 4ch die.
( LƒÖ`) Our suffering is amusing to them. Our cries of pain are met with everything from knowing chuckles to joyous laughter.
( LƒÖ`) Any post now, they'll revive Beady Eyes to maximize our suffering.
( E-E) What the hell are you talking about?
( E-E) Have you taken your pills even once, you schizo sundowner?
( L߃Öß`) I'm FUCKING INVINCIBLE!!!!
( L߃Öß`) If I see any ASCII art characters, I'll be sure to tell 'em!
(EÍE) Hey Grandpa, what are you getting your parents for Christmas
( E-E) I provided the "Bill Cosby pill" for his 2018 interview with Hillary Clinton.
@ È,,È
@( EƒÖE)@Hey everyone, I MADE TEA!!!
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(EÍE) Grandpa, are we all just phantoms in Clonepa's final fever dream as he takes his rattling last breath before dying of ligma?
( ß ƒŽß) We had ligma at Olive Garden last week!
( LƒÖ`) Oh right, Ligmatosis. I will have you knowses my toeses is roses. And on dis day ye will know de smell of de feet.
i E-EjIfm still waitingc itfs been 126 days. There isnft even any food left in my fridge, just body parts.
(EÍE) Well, that went better than I expected.
(EÍE) ...
(EÍE) Lick my balls, Grandpa.
( LƒÖ`) Huh? Is it St. Swiven's Day already?
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( EƒÖE) go away parker
Up next on 4-ch TV Japan...
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( E-E) Can this autistic kid fuck off?
( E-E) Why do you have no dick?
(EÍE) Mix together sulfur, charcoal, and saltpeter and place it in a metal tube!
(@E-E) Yes then attach a gas cooker lighter
(@E-E) Then shove the metal tube into your anus and flip the switch for pleasure
( EƒÖE) Toward the castle it is! Thanks, kids!
( EƒÖE) Oh, you two with your write in votes? Security will escort you both to the liquifier shortly. Please do not resist.
(EÍE) Beady-kun, gunpowder doesn't detonate unless confined. Sticking an unsealed tube filled with it in your ass will probably not have the desired effect!
(EÍE) Now let's go get liquified!
@@@@@@@ (@E-E)
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( EƒÖE) Meet our special guest, Naito Horizon!
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( E-E) Fuck his head reattached. Time to fetch the defensive flamethrower.
( E-E) ...
( E-E) .....
( E-E) I finally got a get.
( EƒÖE) You left your wallet in El Segundo?
( E-E) this game sucks and shamelessly advertizing it to kids is the moral equivalent of child abuse
( E-E) Remember when this thread wasn't just one 17 year old talking to himself?
( EƒÖE) Yeah, good times.
( EƒÖE) Due to declining ratings and departmental cutbacks, we regret to announce that this will be the last ever episode of Everybody Loves Clonepa. Thank you all for your love and support over the last four and a half seasons of our show, and look forward to Super Sparkle Motion Transform Peanut Butter Happy Tweezer Chan ADVANCE airing in this timeslot from next week on!
( E-E) My show actually got greenlit?
( EƒÖE) Ha ha October fools!
( EƒÖE) Everybody Loves Clonepa still brings all the boys to the yard!
( EƒÖE) Isn't today October 1st?
( EƒÖE) Feels like I've been waiting forever for it.
( EƒÖE) Why do we even have names for other months?
( E-E) first they write me out of my own show now they want to pull the plug before the pilot
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( EƒÖE) Go ahead. We're not doing a Christmas special this season anyway.
iEÍEj Why would we? It's still three months till Christmas.
( EƒÖE) Absolutely not. All wind must be contained, as per Grandpa's Rules, page 37, rule 23.5.
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(EÍE) Grandpa! My wife wants to make me fat!
( ß ƒŽß) Yeah. Put on some pounds, you pencilneck!
( ß ƒŽß) Yeah. Eat more clone flesh, you pencilneck!
( EƒÖE) Those are just ground beef, Mittens.
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( E-E) Yeah, right. You never sell anything to anybody.
( E-E) WE'RE ON TO YOU!!!
( EƒÖE) DEAL!
(E‚`E) Grandpa! I don't know what thread I'm in anymore!
( EƒÖE) Welcome to this weeks 18+ adult only special. We're going to learn how to maintain a budget within our means, write a professional quality resume, and how to properly schedule for maximum efficiency in daily life!
( EƒÖE) Today's musical guests will be The District Managers.
( EƒÖE) I'd say let's get to the fun, but there'll be no more of that! You're all adults now!
Now you can't spend what you don't have, can you? So
you often have to leave that thing you want on the store
shelves and go home sad until you have saved eno-
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(E‚`E) Becoming a man sucks, Grandpa. It powerful sucks.
Tonight in the news. Childhood suicides are way up after
the Everybody Loves Clonepa show demonstrated how much
adulthood fails to live up t-
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( LƒÖ`) No. But there's good news. Eventually, you die.
( LƒÖ`) Yes, after you have spent 3.39738624~10^18 years being roasted in the ovens of hell by Lord Yama to burn away the karma of your wrongdoings.
( LƒÖ`) That's right. There are no jobs, and if you get sick they just kill you.
( LƒÖ`) How could you have done anything years ago? You guys only live about 12 days.
( EƒÖE) I just choose to get reincarnated as another Clonepa each time.
(EÍE) Is this why you won't die even if we kill you?
( EƒÖE) I have become gay. Bringer of STDs.
(EÍE) Gotta catch'em all!
( EƒÖE) let the AIDS flow thru you young padawan
(EÍE) Father Beady, why is your penis in my mout-
( E[E) Now bend over and take your punishment.
( LƒÖ`) The year was 1993...
(EÍE) It still says 1993! Change the damn calendar already!
(EÍE) Remember kids, fish can cause mercury poisoning and untreated water contains poliovirus!
( LƒÖ`) Everything in the world is deadly. You should live in a pod and eat bugs, Junior.
(EÍE) I don't want to.